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Banana

lostinwales wrote:

Galted wrote:If the Germans had a sense of humour it would probably have saved her.

Yes if only they spoke English

There are more Germans who speak English than know a bloody good joke when they hear it.

Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

Galted wrote:

lostinwales wrote:

Galted wrote:If the Germans had a sense of humour it would probably have saved her.

Yes if only they spoke English

There are more Germans who speak English than know a bloody good joke when they hear it.

There are probably more Germans than English who understand English grammar.

lostinwales wrote:

Galted wrote:

lostinwales wrote:

Galted wrote:If the Germans had a sense of humour it would probably have saved her.

Yes if only they spoke English

There are more Germans who speak English than know a bloody good joke when they hear it.

There are probably more Germans than English who understand English grammar.

That's true, it's rare to meet a German who doesn't speak impeccable English. Outside of Germany anyway.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

mein hund hat keine nase

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

mein hund hat keine nase

Gesundheit

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

mein hund hat keine nase

Gesundheit

ich verstehe es nicht

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

mein hund hat keine nase

Gesundheit

ich verstehe es nicht

schrecklich

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Eines Morgens habe ich im Schlafanzug einen Elefanten erschossen...

mein hund hat keine nase

Gesundheit

ich verstehe es nicht

schrecklich

Ich muss dich jetzt erschießen

Monday's unmichaelising Fist!

And an empathetic unmichaelsing sicond.

cr@p on here today innit?

Tredje. Mine billetter er ankommet.

Afternoon, just checking in to say I'm not dead.

L8rz

Edit: And to michaels the thread.

Bit of a disappointing effort today after some solid early work from LIW and my excellent cameo.

Tuesday Fist.

Has everyone set their clocks an hour later and not said anything?

Sicond.  Massively unfair of everyone to take a week off and leave the new guy in charge.

Hope Julius didn't get caught up in any tennis violence.

I had to withdraw from the Tea Society yesterday due to breathing difficulties. And being on holiday.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I had to withdraw from the Tea Society yesterday due to breathing difficulties. And being on holiday.

That was a strange one. Kind of thing used to happen to me in the days when I used to play and still smoked, sometimes together.

JuliusHMarx wrote:I had to withdraw from the Tea Society yesterday due to breathing difficulties. And being on holiday.

Breathing difficulties watching the women's tennis?

Haha, used to get that when Sabatini was playing.

New job, still working out how much i can take the p155

Day 2 Ricko? Maybe wait til drinks on Friday... if they still do that sort of thing where you are now.

I'd go easy at first. Practice using the unemotional 'give nothing away' poker face when someone else wants to stick their neck out and say something unexpected.

rIck_dAgless wrote:New job, still working out how much i can take the p155

Did you not discuss it during the interview?

Good advice peej, and galts alas not, i thought about raising it in my HR induction but couldn't get a word in edgeways.

At least I can access the site, so that pretty much means it is implied.

unmichaelsing fist.

Just seen there is a new crypto company called Nonce, seems like a good plan.

Sicond.

We should probably launch our own cryptocurrency as it seems everyone with access to a pc now has one. Jeff could do an Elon Musk job pumping it on Tw*tter for us.

Tirdcoin.

Maybe Radoxcoin (to get Jeff on board) or IoweYewCoin?

L*l out loud, forgot about the Radox.

Fort for today

Nope - blank

Galted wrote:L*l out loud, forgot about the Radox.

I used to love winding him up about that.

It was real weak spot for him. Just like his lower back.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:L*l out loud, forgot about the Radox.

I used to love winding him up about that.

It was real weak spot for him. Just like his lower back.

Did he used to read in his Radox bath while listening to jazz or is it something you made up to antagonise him?

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:L*l out loud, forgot about the Radox.

I used to love winding him up about that.

It was real weak spot for him. Just like his lower back.

Did he used to read in his Radox bath while listening to jazz or is it something you made up to antagonise him?

Nope, that was all his own work! I didn't have a problem with the reading or the (sh*) jazz, it was his insistence that Radox was the reason his lower back pain was eased.

I'm fairly certain no human being has ever had any muscle pain eased by Radox.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:L*l out loud, forgot about the Radox.

I used to love winding him up about that.

It was real weak spot for him. Just like his lower back.

Did he used to read in his Radox bath while listening to jazz or is it something you made up to antagonise him?

Nope, that was all his own work! I didn't have a problem with the reading or the (sh*) jazz, it was his insistence that Radox was the reason his lower back pain was eased.

I'm fairly certain no human being has ever had any muscle pain eased by Radox.

Don't forget all the tea light candles "his wife left" burning around the bath.

I wonder if it was a tin bath in the front room that his wife had to keep warming with a pot on the stove.

l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

Pal Joey wrote:l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

My nan used to have an outside toilet. I vividly remember using it when I used to stay with them but it had no lock and the door didn't shut properly. There was more than one occasion when I was taking a sh*t and my nan or grandad would walk in on me.

Bloody freezing in the winter as well. Had to perfect the hover and dump technique as the seat was like a slab of ice. Stood me in good stead for later life when you need to use the toilet from Trainspotting.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

My nan used to have an outside toilet. I vividly remember using it when I used to stay with them but it had no lock and the door didn't shut properly. There was more than one occasion when I was taking a sh*t and my nan or grandad would walk in on me.

Bloody freezing in the winter as well. Had to perfect the hover and dump technique as the seat was like a slab of ice. Stood me in good stead for later life when you need to use the toilet from Trainspotting.

Heard on the radio that some guy in Germany (I think) was taking a dump at a friend's place (not sure whether outdoors or not) when he felt a painful bite on his gonads. Turns out his mate had lost his pet albino python which had decided to cool off in the toilet bowl. The colours must have blended in.

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

My nan used to have an outside toilet. I vividly remember using it when I used to stay with them but it had no lock and the door didn't shut properly. There was more than one occasion when I was taking a sh*t and my nan or grandad would walk in on me.

Bloody freezing in the winter as well. Had to perfect the hover and dump technique as the seat was like a slab of ice. Stood me in good stead for later life when you need to use the toilet from Trainspotting.

Heard on the radio that some guy in Germany (I think) was taking a dump at a friend's place (not sure whether outdoors or not) when he felt a painful bite on his gonads. Turns out his mate had lost his pet albino python which had decided to cool off in the toilet bowl. The colours must have blended in.

Yeah! I heard that on the radio as well. Said he felt a squeezing sensation on his nuts!

That's probably the story he told the nurse, like accidentally sitting on a mobile phone which luckily was covered by a condom.

Galted wrote:That's probably the story he told the nurse, like accidentally sitting on a mobile phone which luckily was covered by a condom.

Don't worry, Galted. You're among friends here.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

My nan used to have an outside toilet. I vividly remember using it when I used to stay with them but it had no lock and the door didn't shut properly. There was more than one occasion when I was taking a sh*t and my nan or grandad would walk in on me.

Bloody freezing in the winter as well. Had to perfect the hover and dump technique as the seat was like a slab of ice. Stood me in good stead for later life when you need to use the toilet from Trainspotting.

Heard on the radio that some guy in Germany (I think) was taking a dump at a friend's place (not sure whether outdoors or not) when he felt a painful bite on his gonads. Turns out his mate had lost his pet albino python which had decided to cool off in the toilet bowl. The colours must have blended in.

Yeah! I heard that on the radio as well. Said he felt a squeezing sensation on his nuts!

At first I was scratching my head thinking that the snake must have somehow made its way up through the sewage system but then it all clicked. Straight through the bathroom door as normal. Toilet lid up. Easy. They have heating/cooling sensing so know where the water is, right Tino?

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Pal Joey wrote:l*l

Watched that movie called The Keeper the other night. About an ex-paratrooper German goal keeper (Bert Trautmann) who played for Man C in the 1950s. Set in Lancashire. Lots of swearing and rough anti-kraut language in the change rooms and from the stands but it was very beautifully filmed and constructed I thought. Sure I saw a scene where the family is sitting around waiting for dinner but you can see the old man (the coach) reading the newspaper on the sh!tter, which is just off from the kitchen (whilst the Mrs is cooking)... in a sort of laundry/utility area. Such attention to detail.

My nan used to have an outside toilet. I vividly remember using it when I used to stay with them but it had no lock and the door didn't shut properly. There was more than one occasion when I was taking a sh*t and my nan or grandad would walk in on me.

Bloody freezing in the winter as well. Had to perfect the hover and dump technique as the seat was like a slab of ice. Stood me in good stead for later life when you need to use the toilet from Trainspotting.

Heard on the radio that some guy in Germany (I think) was taking a dump at a friend's place (not sure whether outdoors or not) when he felt a painful bite on his gonads. Turns out his mate had lost his pet albino python which had decided to cool off in the toilet bowl. The colours must have blended in.

Yeah! I heard that on the radio as well. Said he felt a squeezing sensation on his nuts!

At first I was scratching my head thinking that the snake must have somehow made its way up through the sewage system but then it all clicked. Straight through the bathroom door as normal. Toilet lid up. Easy. They have heating/cooling sensing so know where the water is, right Tino?

They do indeed. So if it was a warm day, they would head for some water. Our python doesn't go in the water much but the corn snake sometimes curls up in his water bowl on really warm days. Just the tip of his head above the water line.

I would not like to take a bite from even a small python, especially not on my nuts. Backwards facing, razor sharp teeth.

It must have been horrific. The fact he only described it as a "squeezing sensation" makes me think he is into specialist porn. Only logical answer.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:That's probably the story he told the nurse, like accidentally sitting on a mobile phone which luckily was covered by a condom.

Don't worry, Galted. You're among friends here.

Cheers, Tino. Means a lot.

Basically you are saying a guy is trying to justify the presence of a love bite somewhere personal by saying he was bitten by a python whilst sitting on the toilet?

lostinwales wrote:Basically you are saying a guy is trying to justify the presence of a love bite somewhere personal by saying he was bitten by a python whilst sitting on the toilet?

Yep. He was German if that makes a difference? Not sure if it does, just throwing some casual racism around.

Knackered fist.

Safe Sicond

Trending tird.

Morning Galted and Lost.

Galted wrote:Knackered fist.

Generally knackered or have you had a rigorous morning so far?

Working in Cheshire today, though it is Warrington, so that really doesn't count.

Morning, all