Friday Fun - "He said what?!"

Happy Friday everyone!

With the weekend just around the corner we thought it would be good to have some Friday fun and go daft for the day.

Basically all you need to post are "Things you would never hear a sports commentator say"

Over to you..............

"England reach the semi final"

"The All Black press has been running non-stop aout how best to counter the English Morris Dance before kick-off

"You could hear a pin drop here at the Millennium Stadium as Jonny Wilkinson lines up a shot at goal..."

There it is folks, Ireland crowned rugby world champions.

"The Villa fans have really taken Alex McLeish too their hearts"

England go through on penalties...

Manchester United face a really tough opening fixture here in mid-August....

And ONCE AGAIN a Brit wins Wimbledon ................

"Emile Heskey scores"

"Ooh look at the bum on Wozniacki, id smash her back doors in"

"Giggs has been caught napping, yet again"

"Just look at that Wallaby pack absolutely monster the All Black forwards, who look at 6s and 7s...in complete disarray, Kearnsy!"

"Alex Ferguson appears to be accepting the referee's decsion with the sportsmanship and good grace we've come to expect from him over the years."

"The wind really appears to be affecting the players out there today, Rooney's had to tie his long flowing and totally natural looking locks back with an Alice band."

"Someone ought to get down there and explain the offside rule to her!" (now I'm just being silly)

"Arsene Wenger is signalling that he had a clear view of the incident and his player was in the wrong"

"England are out-passing their opponents here, beautiful football."

"And John Cena taps out...!"

On his return to international duty, Emile Heskey has out-performed everyone including Lionel Messi. A truly outstanding performance. He thoroughly deserves this standing ovation.

"Mikey Phillip looks like he's cut out the burgers and gained a yard of pace!"

"Gavin Henson's game has really improved since he turned cancelled his media contracts and concentrated on rugby"

And New Zealand's Chris Martin moves to a fine Test century with that straight six off the bowling of Dale Steyn.

Wlad K

"She was looser than Jordan" in reference to Hayden would get it up the arris Pannitiere (or however it's spelt)

'Englands centre pairing of Tindall and Hape have really cut apart every team this world cup'

'God save the queen. Sung with such gusto here at Hampden'

'Superb handing of the baton by the 100m GB relay team'

Tom Daley being partnered in the 20m high dive here by Phil "the Power" Taylor

"And here come the players ready to step up to the oche. Look at those finely tuned athletes."

Poet Laureate, Nobel Prize Winner, Knight of the Realm and now Heavyweight Champion of the World, take a bow Sir Audley Harrison

"And the award for most charismatic man in sport goes once again to Wladimir Klitschko..."

And as James Degale collects his gong for Best Orator UK 2012, next up is Anthony Small to receive the life-time service award for promoting racial integration across the UK, and all the hard work he has put in to the Help For Heroes charity for our returning soldiers.

And I do believe that the All Blacks captain has led his men to a new version of the Haka. Lets see what he does.......Left leg in. Left leg out. They are now shaking it all about!

Well, thats the podium presentation finished and I've just got time to tell you that Lewis Hamilton has been told he can leave the track as soon as he's changed out of his race suit.

And for those tuning in to Wimbledon, I am sad to report that rain has delayed play. So instead the crew are replaying clips of the hottest girls from over the years. Go on......phwoarrrrrrr.....Thats it Conchita, pound that baseline.....phwoarrrrrr


And welcome back to the female beach volleyball. The scores are.....actually does it really matter? Phwoaarrrrrrrr.........look at the sand on that bum!

"And the svelte, lithe Shane Lowry looks in great shape."

"Thanks to Tiger Woods for a very interesting, insightful interview, and what a sense of humour he has"

"Steven Gerrard, what a charismatic and interesting person, and how good he looks with his hairline growing from his eyebrows."

"The Proteas won an ICC championship and world Cup, amazingly they didn't choke."

or

"The Springboks lacked size and physicality but had heaps of flair."

First Ronnie used his right hand to play. Then he switched to his left had. And now whats he doing. Oh my god he is pulling down his trousers and chalking his.........If he makes this, he really is a clever d1ck

"Schalk Burger ran into the gap, pulled another defender in and offloaded beautifully to Bryan Habana who caught the ball and scored under the posts"

"So Harry Redknapp, how does you feel losing out on the England job?"

"Well, disappointed obviously but I was chuffed to bits when they announced I was going to be the new face of L'Oreal for Men"

"And another beautiful, rain-free day for this test match at the Rose Bowl..."

And Trott plays another flowing cover drive - that's his hundred up in just 80 balls...

The Englishman comes out to defend his Wimbledon title.

England's rugby today has been so stunning that even the Welsh can do no more than sit there and applaud in respect.

Brian Moore has been given the Freedom of the City of Cardiff

"We are just hearing that Sepp Blatter has resigned amid claims of corruption."

"Another faultless display from the England goalkeeper!"

And here we are at a packed Weston Homes Community Stadium...

And Cardiff City have one the play-off final

...and Howard Webb has awarded a THIRD penalty against Man Utd here at Old Trafford

Some people are on the pitch.....they think it's all over......it is now!

And Sebastian Vettell wins another grand prix!

Its Nadal again!!???

No wait, they do say that.......Haven't quite got the hang of this have I?

I'll get my coat. :run2:

" there we see a perfect example for younger viewers of how to join a ruck legally by McCaw . . ."

" my god the Australian front 3 are dominating against England in the scrum today . . . "

"Alonso gracious in defeat acknowledges a fine drive by his other competitors . . . "

"It's incredible alone that Stephen Hawkins has managed to qualify for wimbledon but yet here we see him two sets up against murray in the final. . . "



bit much?

"and there'e the first hat trick for Heskey in an England shirt . . . "

"incredible WIlkinson misses from in front of the posts . . . ."

"The All Blacks manage to break their run of bad luck and not choke in the final of the world cup to win . . . "

and at the work cup finals all the Scots are supporting Enland

Phil Liggett: "...and what a gruesome mountain climb we have set for this 18th Stage today, Paul..."

Paul Sherwen: "Well actually Phil, in some news just in...unfortunately, it seems someone has broken into Alberto Contador's hotel room here in Pinerolo and stolen his toiletries bag...and as such...he won't be riding today. I 've just seen him in the carpark behind our studios here...and it's safe to say he looks a truly distraught man at this very moment"