Boxing stories

What is the funniest boxing anecdote that you have heard?

I don't know that much about historical funny stories so would love to hear about them.

The only story I can offer happened to me. I am not the fittest person in the world but decided to put my name forward for a charity boxing event in London. We were to be given 12 weeks worth of training if selected and then put into a bout in front of paying peers in London (there was 7 bouts in total).

Anyway, I turned up at the boxing gym for my "interview" and workout. Needless to say I was knackered by what they had kme doing (as many push ups in a minute, situps in a minute, punchbag for 3 mins etc). At the end of the session they then weighed you - and I didnt really appreciate the weight divisions that much.

When they weighed me, I came in at just in the cruiserweight division and I quote "you will be facing someone about the size and weight of David Haye".

Thanks for that!

But then they gave me this gem - but if you manage to lose half a stone, you would only be facing someone the size of Joe Calzaghe.

Well that made me feel better!

I actually did get on the list for fighters but was relegated to the subs bench if someone pulled out. I didnt end up fighting.

So that was my stark realization that I am unfit, fat and what a terrifying prospect was ahead of me!

I would love to hear your stories.

Mickey Walker 'The Toy Bulldog', had always been irritated by the legacy of Stanley Ketchel. It seemed no matter what Mickey did, in the eyes of the average boxing fan, he could not compete with 'The Michigan Assasin.'
One day, however, Mickey met a man at a bar who appeared different. The guy was profuse in his declarations of how great Walker was. Flattered Walker bought the guy a beer. The guy went on gushing about Walker this and Walker that. Eventually Mickey got up the nerve .How did the fan feel he would do against Ketchel?
Without blinking an eye and with beer still in hand, the fan said: "He would've murdered you!"

Read a story some time ago of the famous Gibbons brothers Mike and Tommy who were doing an exhibition one day and wanted to give the fans a good show so the more talented Mike decided to agree to let his brother Tommy knock him down. When scripting this Mike said to Tommy, throw a hook in the second and i'll go down.

Tommy agreed and said to Mike and when will you knock me down, to which Mike's answer was apparently "whenever I want"

Went to Keele with a guy who boxed generally on bills with his older bigger brother. This one night his brother came back into the dressing room and said 1st round stoppage as easy pie. He went out and saw a nigel benn type waiting for him and got smacked around in 3 rounds from pillar tyo post.

Transpired that there was a mix up and he'd got his older brothers opponent and vice versa

Cant recall the opponent but Sam Langford tried to touch gloves with an opponent (as you would before the last round) at the start of the fifth
His opponent protested, "It's not the last round"
Langford replied, "Oh yes it is" and went on to knock him out.

Jose Torres was knocked down in a light heavyweight fight and the referee trying to ascertain if he was alright asked "What's your name"? To which he replied "I'm Jose Torres I'm in Mad sq garden and I'm getting the "xxxx" smacked out of me"

Old time bantamweight great Johnny Coulon opened a gym in Chicago after he retired.

Coulon was also known for a trick he performed for celebrities. Tacked on the gym walls were several portraits of heavyweights like Primo Carnera and Sonny Liston attempting to lift the 110 pound former champion. It was a clever trick, for as a giant would attempt to lift him, Coulon would place a hand on the man's neck and press gently. Whatever nerve he touched was enough to incapacitate the lifter. Men twice Johnny's size attempted to lift him, but always failed. He never revealed the secret of exactly how he did it, but he did say that he had travelled in vaudeville, giving boxing exhibitions and challenging members of the audience to lift him on the stage.

The introduction of the Light-Flyweight division provided a bit of a story, the WBC must have regretted setting up a champion for it not long after they did! Rafael Lovera, a Paraguayan fighter, was installed as the number one conteder a few months after the division had began operating. He was matched for the vacant title (stripped from Franco Udella, who had refused to fight him) but was easily beaten in four rounds. His performance was so poor that the WBC felt they needed to investiage him, his manager and his seemingly impressive record which had made him the top contender; in the end, it turned out that Lovera had never had a professional fight.

The Mike McTigue-Young Stribling bout for the Light-Heavyweight crown in 1923 is a strange one, too. McTigue broke his hand and wanted to retire, but was told 'at gun point' that he had to complete the 10 rounds, of which Stribling had won 8 according to most observers. The referee somehow declared a draw, but then the crowd (which apparently included Ku Klux Klan members, who threatened to 'string the referee up') began to get unruly as they were unhappy with the decision. Under pressure, the referee changed his original decision and announced Stribling the winner - before fleeing from the arena, and then, when he thought he was safe, alerting the boxing authorities that his original decision of a draw stood.

Skidd there are a few stories of a similar ilk about Langford, apparently he once entered the ring and proceeded to draw a body shape out on the canvas in chalk. Nobody really understood this until Sam proceeded to knock his opponent out and him land pretty much exactly in the chalked off area.

American comedian Jackie Gleason was doing a gig in some club but he was being constantly heckled by some fat middle aged bloke.
After a while Gleason got sick of it and told the man to step outside. Gleason swore that the man was outside in a flash. The two were out in the street The next thing Gleason remembered was waking up in his dressing room after bieng knocked out.
Turns out the dude who had been abusing him out was none other than 'Two Ton' Tony Galento.

skidd1 wrote:American comedian Jackie Gleason was doing a gig in some club but he was being constantly heckled by some fat middle aged bloke.
After a while Gleason got sick of it and told the man to step outside. Gleason swore that the man was outside in a flash. The two were out in the street The next thing Gleason remembered was waking up in his dressing room after bieng knocked out.
Turns out the dude who had been abusing him out was none other than 'Two Ton' Tony Galento.

Reminds me of a tale about ( I believe, ) Jake LaMotta, skidd.

The story goes that Jake was in an Irish bar in New York when a drunk started to bait him. LaMotta ignored the drunk who proceeded to swing at him. LaMotta, apparently, didn't blink and, his face impassive, he turned to the drunk and said : " If you hit me, and I find out about it, you'll be in a world of trouble. "

Hi Windy hope you are well mate?

As for stories I always enjoyed the Bob Fitzsimmons owning number of exotic pets one of which was a pet lion called Nero. One day apparently Fitz decided to take Nero out to be fitted for a new collar. The lion got loose in a Mexican village killed a goat and drove the local people from their homes before Fitzsimmons could apprehend it.

Apparently the beast was devoted to Fitzsimmons but periodically broke out of its cage and killed livestock. The lion was killed in a terrible accident on a building rooftop I believe, Fitz was left heart-broken.

Cheers Rodders

When Hagler was pulled into the corner to have his cut checked by the ring doctor during the hears fight, he was asked if he could see. Hagler replied "I'm hitting him aint I". The rest is glorious history.

Absolutely fine, Rodders, thank you.

Hope all's well with you, also. Delighted that you are a member here. You were sorely missed when you disappeared from the old board.

Always liked the story of Robinson waging psychological warfare on La Motta before their final fight in 1951. In the build up, the pair of them were at a press lunch and Robinson asked the waiter "Would you ask the chef if I could have a glass of beef blood, please?" According to those who were there, La Motta looked sick to his stomach, and confused, too. "Don't you know that the great Joe Louis drinks eight ounces of blood every day before a fight?" Robinson asked him.

La Motta asked what this did for a fighter, and Robinson (who had never participated in drinking blood at all) said that it gave him extra strength for the closing stages, rounds ten to fifteen. By this time, La Motta was apparently looking as white as a sheet, and, before storming off, said "No way, I don't need that. I'm not drinking no blood!"

Knowing that his pre-fight work was done, Robinson (apparently with a huge smile on his face) shouted after him "Yeah Jake, that's why I'm going to be beating your ass from ten to fifteen!"

Very well, thank you for the kind words Windy !

Had a little time away, fully recharged the old batteries now, I did try and join the old BBC forum around Xmas time but found my old profile had been frozen (it didn't taken them long)

Great to see some familiar top quality posters still contributing.

Thanks again

Rodders

Not strictly speaking amusing stories or anecdotes but cannot let a thread about characters and amusing incidents-stories in boxing pass without paying tribute to Randall Tex Cobb. The following quotes from eastside illustrate why.

All I do is hit somebody in the mouth. It's a whole lot easier than working for a living. Don't make anything noble out of what I do." When asked how he viewed his boxing career.

"Sure, I'd love to fight him. But I have my price, twenty-five cents and a loose woman." On if he'd like to fight Gerry Cooney.

"You run for 45 minutes, you train for an hour and a half, and the rest of the time you just hang out and talk tough." On the typical day of a pro boxer.

"This fight will be the nastiest thing you'll ever see. I've been sober for six weeks, and that makes me vicious." On his upcoming fight with Michael Dokes.

"If you screw up in tennis, it's 15-love. If you screw up in boxing, it's your ass, darling!" On how tough fighting can be.

"I miss having bottle fatigue. Abstinence is for monks - not for me. This kind of life is really over-rated. I mean, I'm actually getting to sleep before I have breakfast." On keeping sober during training.

"I've always thought the greatest crime a man can do is take himself too seriously. I mean, something like fighting is pretty ridiculous to take seriously. What I do is hit people, I'm not promoting anything that is real or valuable." On how he looks at fighting for a living.


On the Larry Holmes fight, Cobb's biggest ever bout.

"No, Larry don't hit as hard as Earnie Shavers. No-one hits as hard as Shavers. If there was a fighter that hit harder than Shavers, I shoot him!"

"I wasn't talking to Holmes in there. Every time I felt like saying something to him I found it hard because he kept putting his left hand in my mouth."

"Hey, you're a white guy, do something about this!" To the ref in the Holmes fight.

"I'd have been more active in there, if only I'd been a little more sober."

"Let's party!" To Holmes as they touched gloves for round 15.

"I don't think his hands could take the abuse." On a possible rematch with Holmes.

And finally, three of Cobb's absolute gems.

"I can do my sport no greater service." On being informed that commentator Howard Cosell had hung up his mike after being so appalled at the one-sidedness of the Holmes-Cobb fight.

"Boxing writers are the only people out there who have less constructive jobs than what I do. I don't do nothing but hit people, and those mothers don't do nothing but write about what I do!"

"Yeah, I've been KO'd. Once. By a Mexican bantamweight. How come? Six of my buddies were swinging him around by the heels at the time."

:606laugh: Good old Randall top find Jeff thanks.

Talking about quotes I always liked this one.

Tony Galento (when asked about the Bard of Avon): "Shakespeare? I ain't never heard of him. I suppose he's one of them foreign heavyweights. They're all lousy. Sure as hell I'll moider de bum"

Cheers

Rodders

Most Cobb quotes covered but this one's my favourite
There was a big dinner honouring heavyweights of the past and present. Joe Louis, Muhammad Ali, Joe Frazier and Larry Holmes were all there. So was Renaldo Snipes and Tex Cobb.
In his usual fashion, Tex Cobb got up to give a toast. He said, "I'm honoured to be in the same room as some of the baddest n*****s ever."
Renaldo Snipes stood up, and said, "I'm not going to stand here and let you call me a n*****!"
Cobb said, "Relax. I wasn't talking about you."

More Tex
"Philadelphia's the only place in the world where you see two winos fight on the street and both are jabbing"

Ha, thanks Skidd never heard that one before !

Cheers

Rodders

I remember hearing a 'Enry Cooper one, think he was talking to a mayoress or an MP and the Lady in question asked have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose? to which 'Enry replied have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?

Charley Burley on being asked if he was bitter about his career-

'no, God asked me and Walker Smith jr, which one of you wants to be Sugar Ray Robinson?, i guess i didn't raise my hand fast enough'

( Burley wasn't saying he wanted to be as good as Robinson, he was commenting on the boxing politics/publicity side of things)

Cheers Rodders

Burley wasn't saying he wanted to be as good as Robinson,
_____________________________________________________

Why would anyone want to be less skilled than they were

Why would anyone want to be less skilled than they were
_____________________________________

Ha forgot you were a die hard Burley fan Jeff, glad I wrote the latter in brackets for you know.

brackets for you know
________________

Should read now of course (a little slow this afternoon)

Cheers
Rodders

Henry Cooper was driving back from training with two gigantic sparring partners in the back of his car. He cut up another driver and when they stopped at a set of traffic lights the driver, a small aging man, got out, went up to Henry's car, and furious, he punched Henry on the nose. Henry and his two sparring partners got out of the car, the man looked at the two heavyweights and walked back to his car and shouted to Henry " Your lucky your with your mates!"

At a social gathering in the late 1980s, Joe Frazier bumped into fellow 70's heavyweight great Ken Norton. Chatting away, Joe asked how he'd been doing and Ken responded that his wife was expecting a baby. Joe shot back 'great, who's the father?'.

One more from Frazier after he knocked out Bob Foster
"When did you realize you had him in trouble Joe'?
'The day he signed the contract'.

Tex again!!
'Why do they call you Tex Cobb'?
'Because I'm from Japan, you stupid **** '

'Randy, can you think of any thing worse than your fight with Larry Holmes'
"Yes Larry King's breath"

Have tried to mod these for the swearing filter
Bruce Curry on Wilfred Benetiz

'There's f**gots in those bars over there that hit harder than him'.

'The only people that think he beat me, were the 3 blind mice'.

"They told me that New York wasn't a safe place, I just didn't realize that the 3 biggest thieves would be the F***** judges sitting next to me'

'They told me this was a non-title fight, because it's obvious Benetiz is a
non-champion'

'I'll kick his A** in every weight class, 140 lbs., 141 lbs., 142 lbs., and up
whatever that slime ball father of his wants'.

Mr Curry cleary didnt rate the great Wilfred as highly as many.Myself included
I share his views on his father though

nazim hamed got knocked out in a chip shop in sheffield for pushing to the front of the que

eddyfightfan wrote:nazim hamed got knocked out in a chip shop in sheffield for pushing to the front of the que

Urban legend. According to the good folk of Sheffield Naz was knocked out in every bar and eatery in Sheffield. There was a lot more to his little car crash than made the papers.

Kel Brook's first fight with Jennings was not cancelled because of a virus, but because he got arrested crashing his Range Rover peed in the ealy hours of the day of the fight.

The rib injury that postponed the fight a second time was when he got arrested again fighting in a club in Barnsley the day before.

Utter tool that lad.

Bob wrote:

eddyfightfan wrote:nazim hamed got knocked out in a chip shop in sheffield for pushing to the front of the que

Urban legend. According to the good folk of Sheffield Naz was knocked out in every bar and eatery in Sheffield. There was a lot more to his little car crash than made the papers.

...elaborate?

My dad claims to have "met" Hamed. He stopped at a junction, looked both ways, there wasn't a car on the road. He pulled out to go right and out of nowhere this vulgar shiny thing comes out of nowhere and slams on the breaks to avoid orphaning me. (thanks Naz) Of course any other person would flash their lights and let the person pulling out get on with it. Naz reverses, drives around and carries on flooring it along chesterfield road.

The heck was he doing around there anyway!?

sweet_pea wrote:

Bob wrote:

eddyfightfan wrote:nazim hamed got knocked out in a chip shop in sheffield for pushing to the front of the que

Urban legend. According to the good folk of Sheffield Naz was knocked out in every bar and eatery in Sheffield. There was a lot more to his little car crash than made the papers.

...elaborate?

Can't. Court order has gagged me.

as well as something else.