Notorious Kiwi rugby writer insists he has no regrets over 'village idiots' Wales jibe

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/rugbynation/rugby-news/2011/08/30/notorious-kiwi-rugby-writer-insists-he-has-no-regrets-over-village-idiots-wales-jibe-91466-29323865/

As preparations for the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand hot up, Daniel Fisher speaks to a forthright Kiwi famed for his controversial comments about the Welsh rugby team

NOTORIOUS columnist Chris Rattue – who once labelled Wales the “village idiots” of rugby union – has never been one to hold back when it comes to voicing his opinions.

The New Zealand Herald rugby writer has found himself splashed across the Western Mail more than once for his less than flattering assessment of our national game.

Aside from the “idiots” slur, Welsh sides over the years have been variously described as “rubbish”, “second-rate cart horses”, “lying down for the cause” – and a “reserve-grade team playing like they are on an end-of-year trip to Majorca”.

A number of individuals have fallen foul of the acid-tongued writer. Former Wales coach Gareth Jenkins received a verbal battering questioning whether he pulled his tactics from a Christmas cracker, as well as being described as “in desperate need of psychoanalysis”.

To be fair, Rattue did once offer an apology – unfortunately it was to all the village idiots out there who he feared might be offended at being compared to the people who run Welsh rugby.

In the five years since he wrote the village idiots column which made headlines in Wales and the rest of the UK, Rattue hasn’t changed his view – and he stands by all of his columns.


Speaking from his home in Auckland, the 49-year-old said he had grown up watching the “magical” Wales teams of the 1970s – but felt that in recent years something had gone “terribly wrong”.

He said: “For me my first real rugby memories are the 1971 Lions and that was followed by a real magical era for Welsh rugby. There was something mystical about the Welsh players – I can still remember all their names now.

“But over the years something has gone terribly wrong with how the game is run.

“A lot of their players have not been good enough and I have seen plenty of games where either players weren’t fit or they just don’t make the mark.

“There have been a number of games against the All Blacks where the Wales players haven’t been willing to die for the cause. I don’t see them diving for every tackle.

“Every time a game between Wales and New Zealand comes up you get journalists writing about their ‘great rivalry’ and so on – but they are not rivals any more. Wales don’t come up to the mark.

“The village idiots column I wrote in five minutes. I saw yet another story saying the game would be a tough test for the All Blacks and all that rubbish and I thought, ‘I’ve heard it all before, and it’s a load of b*******’. Then the line came to me and I liked it. It got out what I really think.”

It's sad but I actually agree with him on almost every point, how can we expect New Zealand to repspect us when we haven't beaten them since 1953

Jesus, why are the Western Fail bringing this up again? Who cares what this guy's opinions are or why he wrote the article?

If I felt inclined to read the Wail, it wouldn't be for "stories" like this. Just giving a no mark more attention than he deserves.

better to be the village idiots then a bunch of victory obsessed, war dancing, cheating chokers.

It's a f****** game not World War 3 so there is no need to look so bloody aggressive before a game and indicate that you are going to slit the throat of your opposition.

I for one, as you can tell, hate what the Haka has become. It is used as a weapon and is very unattractive. Better to sing songs and be happy and be viewed as idiots rather then playing whatever advantage you can get away with in the quest for victory.

deadfred wrote:better to be the village idiots then a bunch of victory obsessed, war dancing, cheating chokers.

It's a f****** game not World War 3 so there is no need to look so bloody aggressive before a game and indicate that you are going to slit the throat of your opposition.

I for one, as you can tell, hate what the Haka has become. It is used as a weapon and is very unattractive. Better to sing songs and be happy and be viewed as idiots rather then playing whatever advantage you can get away with in the quest for victory.

Actually it's only intimidating if you don't understand what their saying, their actually singing about a Chieftan with a hairy back who hid underneath a woman's skirt to avoid being captured. Basically it's not very intimidating at all. Once you realise that you wonder why the New Zealanders get so worked up, though I do find it funny when the white New Zealanders do it, because their actually European settlers and not Maori at all!
Don't get me wrong it is a bit of fun, and good entertainment, and I appreciate the effort they put into it. But I also admit to having a private giggle when I see the white boys sticking their tongues out and trying to look tough. No British team could perform it and keep a straight face, and that is an art in itself.

This is the origonal version:
I'm jabbering and quivering,
stuttering, shaking and naked!
I'm brushed by your crotch
a cleft mound, a pulsating cavern!
Forbidden mysteries are revealed;
banter and intimacy, your flushed face:
I am caught in your noose.

I'm scared but fully alert.
Who is this man with a thrusting shaft
investigating the hot moist depths,
the squirming pungent depths below?

I am dying, I'm dead!
No, I'm alive, fully alive!
a virile man
who can bring joy and peace!
Together, side by side
We can make the sun shine!


This is what they sing now:
Slap the hands against the thighs!
Puff out the chest!
Bend the knees!
Let the hip follow!
Stamp the feet as hard as you can!
It is death! It is death!
It is life! It is life!
This is the hairy person Who caused the sun to shine!
Keep abreast! Keep abreast!
The rank! Hold fast!
Into the sun that shines!

Right now try and say that, while doing a dance and try and look REALLY REALLY mean and hard, then stick your tounge out at the end.

Then try and do:
You put your right foot in,
You put your right foot out;
You put your right foot in,
And you shake it all about.
You do the Hokey-Pokey,
And you turn yourself around.
That's what it's all about!

I will admit Carter is far too pretty to do the haka lol.

The Western Mail. If memory serves correctly, they've never run any deliberately antagonistic articles have they?

Only an Idiot would write such a thing

bathmad wrote:The Western Mail. If memory serves correctly, they've never run any deliberately antagonistic articles have they?

No, they're whiter than white.

Actually, change the Ws to Ss and you're closer to the mark...

Wasn't the Village Idiots incident in direct response to some fairly belittling comments about the global status of New Zealand?

Something about a debate about how many "poxy little islands" (about to be put in their place by the mighty Welsh) constituted the nation of New Zealand, as I recall.

TheGreyGhost wrote:Wasn't the Village Idiots incident in direct response to some fairly belittling comments about the global status of New Zealand?

Something about a debate about how many "poxy little islands" (about to be put in their place by the mighty Welsh) constituted the nation of New Zealand, as I recall.

I think you may have us confused with England, for what it's worth Wales is about the same size as Fiji.

TheGreyGhost wrote:

One of the more humorous efforts came from Australian Scott Johnson in 2004, assistant to coach Mike Ruddock, who described New Zealand as a "poxy little island in the Pacific".

"We are not calling them the All Blacks this week. They are New Zealand. New Zealand is a poxy little island in the Pacific Ocean," Johnson joked.

In a later press conference Johnson, wearing a t-shirt which read "Kiwi Target Practice" next to a bullseye, apologised for any offence caused.

"After a conversation that was private and has now been displayed around the world, I do make an apology. I wasn't misquoted, I just got it slightly wrong ... it's actually two islands."

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=10607249

Ah, now that was one of the proudest moments in Welsh rugby history...

TheGreyGhost wrote:Wasn't the Village Idiots incident in direct response to some fairly belittling comments about the global status of New Zealand?

Something about a debate about how many "poxy little islands" (about to be put in their place by the mighty Welsh) constituted the nation of New Zealand, as I recall.

I very much doubt that was the case, Wales and NZ enjoy great friendships from being traditional rugby nations and relationships between them IMO are among the most respected out there, that doesn't mean that there is equality between the teams just that they have respect for each other as rugby playing nations. Most, if not all of the welsh nation were appalled when the Haka had to be performed behind closed doors. You'll always get the odd sensationalist looking to be heard as is the case here but talk to Fitz, Going, Brian Williams and many a revered All Black and they will comment on the mutuality and respect between the 2 nations - I hope that never changes.

Or it would have been if they hadn't gone on to lose, again.

GG, Scott Johnson is an Aussie ya know?

Look nottins_jones...I've got in enough trouble for assuming nationality based on where people are from, rather than the team they're currently working/playing for.

If Scott Johnson was assistant Welsh coach in 2004, then he's Welsh. Just like any of those guys playing for England who happened to only arrive in the country in 2005 are English.

TheGreyGhost wrote: Just like any of those guys playing for England who happened to only arrive in the country in 2005 are English.

Fair point.

nottins_jones

"His name's Henry Jones Jnr... We named the dog nottins."

fair play to scott johnson that is an awesome apology. the problem is i can see New zealanders getting quite upset by that, they need to take it on the chin. anyway why are we having a discussion about some guy who labelled us village idiots? oh and in response to be fatual wales have 2 trainiee lawyers and a trainee doctor in their squad.

also the fact about the 1970's is that rugby wasnt pro so that meant players werent muscle bound and tactics focussed and played what ever opportunities that presented itself.

but in the fact of calling the welsh village idiots and losing their way, same goes to the AB losing their way in world cups never been able to do what they did in that 1st tournament.


hold i decided i wasnt going to get into an arguement on this???

If you actually listened to the Scott Johnson interview he was being sarcastic. He was saying that NZ is only a poxy island so can't be very good at rugby, i.e. tongue in cheek humour because, obviously, NZ is awesome at rugby even if they're a small country.

In fact, I don't think I have heard Scott Johnson being serious in any interviews. He talks in jokes and humour.

"He talks in jokes and humour" and strangely enough his team plays in a similar way

to be fair to Rattue, he had a point, has no-one else seen the Cash4Gold advert Lee Bynre got himself into?

idiot

Wasn't it Scott Johnson who got the ABs in a lather by running up and the down the touch line with a notebook pretending to decipher the line out calls?

That was actually a bit of genius, especially since our Hooker couldn't hit a barn door and our tallest prop was just under 5 feet and we weren't likely to win a lineout anway.

After reading the above its probably a good thing that that Herald dont put all of Chris Rattues' up on the website.

Given that at the time of the comment Wales' tactic (their only one) seemed to be to throw the ball around as much as possible until:

1) They drop it
2) Score a try by confusing their opponents more than themselves

The village idiots of rugby seemed a fair assessment (welshy824 key part is "of rugby" although working with some doctors, it doesn't mean they're smart)

fair point hammer, funnily enough my dad told me something similar today (he works in nhs) and since i want to do medicine he always tells me the ins and out of his days (although not confidential stuff obviously)

tbf though hammer in the 2nd option we have scored some beautiful tries from our confusion

Wasnt his comment about Wales be the village idiots jibe, wasnt it written after the game when Wales refuse to move for about 2 minutes after the Abs had done the Haka.

Or was it about the time when Wales kicked up a stink about the HAKA and the Abs peformed it in the changing room before the game started.

I think it was 1 or the other.

I don't think it was either of those.

The opening article says it was before a game not after it. I believe it was the one in 2006 but could be wrong [In fact it says it was 5 years ago so it would be 2006]

Welshy824, aye but it's not consistent enough for long term success. Might win the odd big game but that's it. I think Gatland's gone too far the other way but if he brings out the Welsh flair but keeps the organisation (a neat trick) there should be some fireworks.

'Village idiots' eye All Black 'chokers'
By Brendan Gallagher
12:01AM GMT 25 Nov 2006
Comment
Audio: Will Carling's Rugby Club
Blog: Mick Cleary
In pics: Last weekend's international action

So it's the "village idiots of world rugby" who allegedly resemble "a second grade team on tour in Majorca" against the World Cup "chokers" and "honest cheats" — aka the "poxy little island in the Pacific".

It has, as you might gather, been fun and games in Cardiff this week as Wales prepare to play New Zealand. It was ever thus. The banter has been fierce and increasingly edgy, stirred up by New Zealand journalist Chris Rattue and his publicity seeking "village idiot" remarks.

Welsh fans were in no mood to turn the other cheek. To summarise a few of their ripostes: Wales play at the magnificent Millennium Stadium, New Zealand at places called the 'Cake Tin' in Wellington or Jade Stadium, which is anything but a jewel in the crown.

The Welsh fans can all sing and drink, the Kiwis are rubbish at both. The New Zealanders cherry pick the best of the Islanders – good point, although possibly not best made by the nation that invented 'Grannygate'.

At least on this one issue, and possibly the two nations' mutual love affair with sheep, we can declare an honourable draw.

Strangely enough 78,000 enthralled spectators will still be at the Millennium stadium this evening to watch the idiots and cheats do battle and the ground could have been filled five times over.

The level of abuse, and just old fashioned wind-ups, is always world class when Wales and New Zealand are involved. Firstly because they are the planet's most passionate rugby nations and secondly there is every possibility that tonight's encounter might be a little closer than normal.

You can either take the banter seriously or you can just lap up the slapstick. Graham Henry got it absolutely right with his perfect put-down of Rattue: "Every village has its idiot."

With the roof closed against the anticipated rain and gales, tonight should be a humdinger. In-form Wales fancy their chances just a little and New Zealand reckon they have got a game on their hands, hence their decision to ask captain Richie McCaw, Dan Carter and the influential Carl Hayman to go to the well once more.

New Zealand will do what they have done all autumn — look to boss the match up front with their commanding pack in which their brilliant back-row always lead by example. With that platform their backs can probe away all afternoon and heaven help the side that kicks away hard-earned possession to the All Blacks' back three. Over 65 percent of all their tries come from opposition mistakes.

The key tactical decisions must, therefore, all come from Wales. Against most teams, they would fancy their backs to outrun the opposition. But against the All-Blacks they must box clever.

Hence coach Gareth Jenkins' decision to leave both James Hook and Gavin Henson out of the starting line-up. Jenkins feels he needs some cement in mid-field, at least initially, and put New Zealand under pressure by staying in contention for as long as possible. The plan has merit but equally his players must not become defensive. When the opportunity arises Wales must strike with all the panache of their 2005 Grand Slam.

Team details

Wales: K Morgan (Dragons); M Jones (Scarlets), T Shanklin (Blues), S Parker, S Williams (both Ospreys); S Jones (Scarlets, capt), D Peel (Scarlets); D Jones (Ospreys), R Thomas (Blues), A Jones, I Gough, I Evans, J Thomas (all Ospreys), M Williams (Blues), R Jones (Ospreys).
Subs: M Rees (Scarlets), G Jenkins (Blues), A Wyn Jones (Ospreys), A Popham (Scarlets), M Phillips (Blues), J Hook (Ospreys), G Henson (Ospreys).
New Zealand: M Muliaina (Chiefs); R Gear (Crusaders), C Smith (Hurricanes), L McAlister (Blues), S Sivivatu (Chiefs); D Carter (Crusaders), B Kelleher (Chiefs); N Tialata (Hurricanes), A Oliver, C Hayman (both Highlanders), K Robinson (Chiefs), A Williams (Blues), J Collins (Hurricanes), R McCaw (Crusaders, capt), R So'oialo (Hurricanes).
Subs: A Hore (Hurricanes), T Woodcock (Blues), J Ryan (Highlanders), R Thorne (Crusaders), P Weepu (Hurricanes), N Evans (Highlanders), M Nonu (Hurricanes).
Referee: D Pearson (England).

This is basically just one terrible source of rugby journalism running an article on another then?

I do find some of the banter on this amusing. Scott Johnson is the only guy who comes out of it with any credit! Or at the very least evidence of a sense of humour

Chris Rattue makes Stephen Jones look like a genius, who is accepting of other cultures and actually knows a thing or two about rugby