Yoshi Tatsu the Greatest Japanese Wrestler?

by **ADMIN** Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:31 pm

WWE.COM POLL RATES YOSHI TATSU HIGHER THAN JUSHIN LIGER, GREAT MUTA IN GREATEST JAPANESE STARS RANKINGS
By Justin Henry

Stamford, CT – WWE.com has devoted web space in the past to ranking the top matches, superstars, and moments in wrestling’s storied history. However, for reasons of self-interest and politics, the rankings don’t always jive with common fan sentiment.

This week, WWE unveiled its “Greatest Japanese Stars in Wrestling History” list, and the results were, well, interesting to say the least.

“F—KING BULLSH—!!!!” screamed Dave Meltzer, upon reading the story on his smart phone during a three hour tanning session.

The top ten list, in reverse order, went 10)Super Ninja, 9) Jushin Liger, 8) Great Muta, 7) Yokozuna, 6) Kung Fu Naki, 5, Kwang, 4) Taka Michinoku, 3) The Regular Funaki, 2) Yoshi Tatsu, 1) Mr. Fuji.

As one would imagine, many fans are angry about this.

“What kind of crap are they trying to put over on us?” wrote fan Jonard Dobler, of Mechanicsburg, PA. “Fuji, Kwang, Yoko, and Super Ninja aren’t even FROM Japan! And they put Funaki on there twice! Where’s Hiroshi Tanahashi? Mitsuharu Misawa? Geez, I’d have taken Jado and Gedo on there! It’s like they WANT us to get depressed and snack our way into an early heart attack so that they don’t have to hear from us smarter fans anymore!”

Indeed, WWE.com has been inundated with hateful response to the list, with some calling it “the most poorly-written, ill-informed garbage since James Caldwell began reviewing episodes of Raw and Impact”.

WWE.com, however, stands by the placement of talent on the list.

“I don’t know how anyone can question this list,” said WWE.com staff writer Jason Melatio. “I’ve been watching wrestling for sixteen years, and I’ve never seen the likes of Liger or Muta come to WWE and challenge real superstars like Cena and Orton. If Liger’s so good, can he break the STF? I doubt it. Fuji would use salt, and Tatsu’s good enough to hang with the roster now, so they get high placement. Until Liger and Muta prove they can do better than crappy looking palm strikes in front of a silent crowd, they better get used to their rankings.”

Debate continues feverishly on message boards throughout the web, as Melatio’s statement has only intensified the anger being felt by devoted fans of puroresu.

“What’s next, they’re going to make a list of the top Mexican wrestlers and have Pedro Morales be number one?”

Melatio responded, “He’s a Puerto Rican, you dumbass! The top five are clearly Del Rio, Mysterio, Eddie Guerrero, Vickie Guerrero, and Savio Vega!”

When it was pointed out that Vega is also Puerto Rican, Melatio excused himself for ten minutes, and returned with a well done Photoshop of a Vega publicity shot, now with him wearing a “Hello, I’m: MEXICAN” sticker tag.

“And if I hear anyone complaining about El Santo being #10,” threatened Melatio, “Mariachi Brock Lesnar will take his place!”

In a related story, Juan Rivera (who played both Vega and Kwang) is delighted to have been on both lists, and hopes to make the French wrestlers’ list by claiming to have been Sylvain Grenier.

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