Myffs, motives and mayhem.

It seems the Six Nations can bring out the worst in some and as a neutral it is really boring to see the same accusations, excuses, personal digs, my dad is bigger than your dad, we beat you last time so we are better, you are rubbish, we are brilliant and the like going on all day.

So purely from an entertainment point of view (for my benefit) to have something more enjoyable to read, I thought it was a good idea to write about myths of your own team. You aren't allowed to create a myth or generate an existing myth on another team. You may place myths about your country as a whole as well or it's spectators.

So I'll start with South African Myths.

We are thugs.
We don't have science at school, hence we keep on running at the man instead of around him.
We don't understand vectors, hence offloads and passing is taboo.
Our spectators love to tackle referees.
We aren't bright enough to cheat, so we rather commit fouls.
We do enjoy the odd tackle, well that's not true, we love to tackle.
We don't like Bruce Lawrence, we Loooooooooooooooooooooove him. NOT
Bryan Habana needs a head start to beat a cheetah.
PDV is a genius, it is just rugby he doesn't know much about.
Secretly we want Brad Barrit, but you can keep Mauritz Botha.
SARU administrators are useless on purpose, we love additional challenges.
We really are better than the other teams, we just don't like showing it.

Rugby, as originally played in England in 4004 BC was played without a ball. Which explains the English enjoyment of scrums and lack of flair in the backs. I still firmly believe the opposition should not be allowed to see the ball AT ALL in the first half.

Actually, on the Saffer thug thing - In those first years when you came back after the ban, you WERE pretty thuggish. I remember the Battle of Twickenham. But it changed quite quickly - I think it was mostly shock at finding the game had developed and you weren't automatic worldbeaters as the old Springboks were. Nowadays, England SA clashes are among the most brutal but generally pretty fair that I can recall.

You missed one biltong... You're all PK's

Billy, we dish out PK's

Ireland

-Most of our victories are achieved through cheating.
-We've also organized a complex anti-Wales refereeing conspiracy in the Pro 12.
-We all think the Irish team should have 13 starters from our own province.
-There's not enough room in the universe, let alone the Irish team, for both O'Gara and Sexton.
-Irish males love O'Driscoll so much it makes them feel uncomfortable.
-A Triple Crown is a major international trophy, even if you come 2nd in the 6 Nations behind the French.
-We never boo kickers. Unless we reeeeaaaally need them to miss.
-Seeing English people makes us play at least 5 times better.
-We're terrified of the French.
-There was no such thing as rugby before the year 2000.

Feckless Rogue wrote:Ireland

-Irish males love O'Driscoll so much it makes them feel uncomfortable.

Good one.

Of course you're right biltong Koekemoer

feckless... outstanding

Feckless you forgot:

- Losing the 6 Nations every year doesn't matter once a province wins a Heineken Cup.

Scottish myths - we can't score tries

Nope can't think of any, they're all true

AsLongAsBut100ofUs wrote:Scottish myths - we can't score tries

Nope can't think of any, they're all true

Welsh myth, We can beat anyone on our day
We didn't lose, it was the ref's fault

And last but not least, It is the same ball, HONEST.

Wales: our chest-beating confidence is just a cover for a suspicion that something's going to go very wrong any minute now. Unless it is actually genuine chest-beating confidence, which is usually followed by something going very wrong.

LordDowlais wrote:Welsh myth, It is the same ball, HONEST.

biltongbek wrote:

LordDowlais wrote:Welsh myth, It is the same ball, HONEST.

That was for our Irish brethren

LordDowlais wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

LordDowlais wrote:Welsh myth, It is the same ball, HONEST.

That was for our Irish brethren

Still hurts.....

The Welsh are skint. We have all the refs on our payroll. They can only afford to bribe the ball boys with sweets.

LordDowlais wrote:

biltongbek wrote:

LordDowlais wrote:Welsh myth, It is the same ball, HONEST.

That was for our Irish brethren

Yeah got that, but I didn't know that was only a myth, in my opinion that is the stuff fables are born from.


Fifty years from now, some Irish grandpa is going to tell his great grand child about that day.

Welsh myth:

We cant win any games, the opponents can only lose them.

Springbok myth, Quotas is an international handicap system devised by the IRB to give other teams chance to beat us.

Nice one Biltong,its true most fans think there side is the only side,everyone else is Rubbish.Boks are thugs? whoever could have said that MOST sides have there share of hard men.
Winning especially in the touring days was about domination first,then came the fancy stuff.AllBlacks versus Boks,or the provincial sides for that matter softened
tourists up for the test sides.
No quarter was asked or given,respect was earned with the fist and the boot
and France had hard cases too.Tales of what went on in scrums bought tears
to the eyes literally.
Names like Chollet,Domenech and Paparamborde spring to mind,because only one NH side has won a RWC.
It follows all NH sides are inferior to England?NOT truth is on any given day.
ANY of the 6Ns sides can win,favourites or home advantage is one thing proving it another.

Commonly us Welshies are lectured by other groups of supporters on how we can beat anyone on our day, which is quite flattering if I'm perfectly honest

Haha Ironmike and Knowsit, very good.

Biltong missed out a myth for SA: "We eye-gouge."

Morgan, the instruction was to generate myths on your own team, but I will let it slide.

the myth is in fact incorrect, every country has eye gougers, we just do it with reckless abondonment.

Wales don't win 6 Nations tournaments, they win flashes in the pan.

Wales Myth;our fly-half factory.It is actually a giant 3/4's factory!!!

We can beat anyone on our day.

Everything bad is England's fault.

Ireland send immigrants over the Wales to breed with our people, so they can come back 20 years later and poach the cross breeds.

The Welsh think the Scottish can't play rugby, we know you can, just not very well.

Andy Haden is the devil incarnate. The penalty was awarded for Geoff Wheel jumping off the shoulder of Oliver.

Max Boyce is one of the funny men with lip stick on, with evil minds and deeds in Soho.

saffers myth

you run about all day chasing your cattle and dig ingots of gold and diamonds from the earth with hand trowels-thats why you're so big and powerful.
Wait 'til you've all got IT jobs

the problem is when it comes to the england team- its other nations that create the myths.

but i will indulge.

englands youth never fullfill there potential
england are rubbish despite having the biggest pool of available players
england are rubbish even though there are the biggest rugby playing economy
england are arrogant
england players are all drawf tossing pissheads.
england win by being lucky
england loose bacause they are rubbish

i suppose the only myth us english share about england- is that JW is god

Wales myth:Shane was only human.Really is a deity.

senghenydd1913 wrote:saffers myth

you run about all day chasing your cattle and dig ingots of gold and diamonds from the earth with hand trowels-thats why you're so big and powerful.
Wait 'til you've all got IT jobs

Mate, that will take some time though, we only just started working with your old 286 PC's

Feckless Rogue wrote:Ireland

-Most of our victories are achieved through cheating.
-We've also organized a complex anti-Wales refereeing conspiracy in the Pro 12.
-We all think the Irish team should have 13 starters from our own province.
-There's not enough room in the universe, let alone the Irish team, for both O'Gara and Sexton.
-Irish males love O'Driscoll so much it makes them feel uncomfortable.
-A Triple Crown is a major international trophy, even if you come 2nd in the 6 Nations behind the French.
-We never boo kickers. Unless we reeeeaaaally need them to miss.
-Seeing English people makes us play at least 5 times better.
-We're terrified of the French.
-There was no such thing as rugby before the year 2000.

Emmm......................... myths, Feckless. Keep to the myths. Indeed, all of you keep to the myths! There is an unsettling ammount of true thought coming into these lists. So sorry, biltong, but looks like you're back to square one and my dad genuinely IS bigger than yours.

Fly, my list includes ONLY myths.

ABs:

Black is slimming.

Smoking and drinking before a test match are harmful to performance. Jane and Dagg proved them wrong.

Which leads me to the next myth. The ABs are chokers. Hardly. Jane and Dagg only smoke half a pack a week between them.

McCaw gets away with murder. Those claims are hugely insensitive. His grandmother died of natural causes. He just happened to be in her hospital room when it happened.

Half of the team were born outside NZ. That is false. London is NZ´s largest city and the overwhelming majority from there play for England not NZ.

Bryce Lawrence received death threats. Another malicious rumour. Biltong said to him I f***ing love you and want to hug you to death and he took it the wrong way.

Black is slimming. Not a myth but true.

Smoking and drinking before a test match are harmful to performance. Jane and Dagg proved them wrong. myth confirmed.

Which leads me to the next myth. The ABs are chokers. Hardly. Jane and Dagg only smoke half a pack a week between them. That makes them puffers, not choekr....I mean smokers.

McCaw gets away with murder. Those claims are hugely insensitive. His grandmother died of natural causes. He just happened to be in her hospital room when it happened. a curious case for CSI to invesitgate then.

Half of the team were born outside NZ. That is false. London is NZ´s largest city and the overwhelming majority from there play for England not NZ.

Bryce Lawrence received death threats. Another malicious rumour. Biltong said to him I f***ing love you and want to hug you to death and he took it the wrong way. you get me.


Nice on Kia.