A random Trash Talk episode I found!

comment by Hobo....BELIEVES! (U7935097)
posted Sep 9, 2008
The lights in the arena dim.

A booming voice rings out: ARE YOU READY?

crowd: yeah!

I SAID ARE YOU READY?

CROWD: YEAH! TRASH TV! TRASH TV!

PREPARE TO BE TRASHED.....

Hobo and Enforcer walk to the ring alone and hi five several fans who are wearing Tshirts with the logo 'Born in Fire, Immortalised on Trash TV'. The ring has been set-up for Trash Talk with bins and rubbish everywhere,

Hobo grabs the mic...

H: Riff Raffers, Trash heads, fans who like Enforcer.....the wait is over....do you have your cameras ready....Trash Talk is BACK!

E: And tonight is a prelude to Destiny, when Trash TVs opponents get the chance to give us their thoughts on their respective matches at Destiny.

H: So without further ado, please welcome our first guest.....Crimelord.

"Stand and Deliver" by Adam and the Ants plays and the crowd turn their attention to the ramp.

RJ: That's not Crimelords music! I wonder which idiot they have dressed up this week?

DL: I think you should go a little easier on the Trash, RJ. Firstly, they are tag and Hardcore champs. Secondly, we all remember what happened to Wire after he continually berated them.

RJ: Good point, Dave!

Hollywood comes through the curtains dressed in a stereotypical robbers outfit. He is carrying a large bag labelled 'swag' and moves cagely to the ring and climbs in.

Hobo: welcome crimelord!

CL: shhhhhh! Don't call me that.....if anyone from the DSS is watching, they think my name is Tony Kemp. Or Gary Hadley. Or Martin Spandau...depends which day of the week it is really.

Enforcer: Okay....errr......So firstly, sorry for the brutal defeat I gave you last night.

CL: That was nothing. Father MacKenzie used to dish out much worse beatings when he used to catch me apple scrumping from his orchard.

Enforcer: Is that what set you on your path of crime then?

CL: Oh definately! Once I'd felt the buzz of scrumping I couldn't stop.

Hobo: And things escalated from there?

CL: Yes, within a matter of years I was stealing pounds worth of penny sweets from my local corner shop! It was then on to running a dinner money racketering ring in school - I controlled a whole half of the third year in Malborough Grammar School!

Enforcer: and since then?

CL: my adult life has been one crime after another - I was once given the wrong change at Lidls and didnt own up. Another time I was caught doing 34mph in a built up area. The worst, however, was when I was 17 - I snuck into a 18 movie! I think the usher knew but I slipped him a curly wurly and he turned a blind eye.

Enforcer: That's it?

CL: What do you mean? I've spent years building my crime network and keeping this secret and you insult me when I tell you. I dont care anyway - I've gotta go as I am currently overseing a major crime...

Hobo: which is?

CL: dont tell anyone but I am recording the top 40 off the radio.

Crime Lord gets up and runs from the ring.

Hobo: Well that was Crime Lord, seems as if he's gone into hiding so without further ado we need to get our next guest out here!

Roses by Outkast plays around the arena and there is a delay before anyone appears on the ramp.

A flustered looking Hollywood appears on the ramp with an all green jumpsuit which he is still buttoning up, the stripey jumper Crime Lord was wearing can be seen underneath it.

He starts to make his way down the ramp...

Hobo: Stop! Wait! Cut the music! You've forgotten the head you idiot!

Hollywood: It's not my fault you didn't give me enough time...why couldn't PrimeTime have done it!

Enforcer: He's a bit....tied up at the moment! Get back there and put your head on!

Hollywood disappears behind the curtain and Roses by Outkast plays again. This time he makes his way on to the ramp wearing a green jumpsuit and a foam red rose on his head. He walks to the ring and after a few minutes manages to squeeze himself through the ropes and in to the ring.

Enforcer: Please welcome to the ring our second guest of Trash Talk....Phoenix Rose!

Hobo: Enforcer has apologised for the beating he gave Crime lord last night and he's got something to say...

Enforcer: Well I want to say sorry in advance for the beating you'll get at Destiny!

Rose: I won't be getting any beatings I'm the undefeated Phoenix Rose!

Hobo: Err...you're not undefeated anymore, you're on a two match losing streak!

Rose: Remember - I am the rose! And every rose has its thorn. Just like every night has its dawn. And every cowboy sings a sad sad song....

Enforcer: err...

Rose: Well never mind I'm the UFC Champion and I'll make you tap!

Enforcer: You haven't fought in UFC for months...I phoned them up...they were having trouble remembering you!

Rose: Well I'll...well I...well at least I can get off with my agent any time I want to!

Hobo: Far too much info there! We're going to take a commercial break whilst we try and find out what Phoenix is actually good at!

---Commercial Break---

6wf returns showing Dave Law and RJ sat at the announcer's table.

RJ: As we return from that commercial break Trash TV are still in the ring...

DL: Yes RJ, but in the break there seems to have been a bit of a...technical hiccup shall we say!

The camera pans to the ring where Hobo, Enforcer and Phoenix Rose can be seen pulling at a variety of ropes and shouting up towards the ceiling. The camera pans upwards to reveal a blue figure half up the rope seemingly hanging by his foot.

The camera slowly zooms in on the figure, the person is wearing a pair of Superman pyjama's that are far too small. His stomach can be seen and the sleeves and trouser legs only come to his elbows and knees.

Hobo: Look leave that alone E! Your making it worse!

Enforcer: Sorry, it wasn't me who rigged this stupid contraption up!

A cameraman approaches the pair and whispers in their ears.

Hobo: WE'RE ON AIR!? WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL....

Enforcer: And welcome back to another exciting edition of Trash Talk! Unfortunaltey Hero has managed to get himself tangled up for his big entrance!

Hobo: Ah it must be this one!

Hobo pulls one of the ropes and a whirring noise can be heard. Behind Hobo 'Hero' falls into shot, upside down being held by his foot. The rope catches again once he's about a few feet from the floor. Hobo walks over and cuts the rope, letting 'Hero' fall to the floor.

PrimeTime jumps up and performs a Hurricance Helms pose before snatching the microphone from Enforcer.

Hero: I am Hero! Come to save the world...all who stand before me will be crushed!

Hobo: Look, just calm down a bit...we need to get TGA out here first! Hit his music!

Hero by Enrique Iglesias blasts around the arena and 'TGA' makes his way onto the ramp.

RJ: That's not TGA's music either!

He is wearing a pair of baggy jeans and a large black hoody with the hood up. On the back of the hoody its reads 'just Roids And Rage'. He runs to the ring but stumbles on his low slung jeans and ends up crashing into the ring apron. He picks himself up, slowly slides into the ring and grabs a mic from Hobo.

TGA: I'm (censored)ing angry! Who put this stupid (censored) ring in front of me when I was (censored)ing running!

TGA walks to the ropes and kicks them.

TGA: And why have you id iot's dragged me to the ring with this (censored)ing clown who's stolen his brothers pyjama's!

H: We're a family show TGA, you need to tone down that language or we'll never be broadcast!

TGA: (censored) you, you (censored)ing (censored)!

Enforcer: Well thanks for that, do you have anything to say that might be shown on Tele before midnight?

TGA: (censored) off!

Hobo: Never mind, Hero...how do you rate your chances of winning the belt at Destiny?

Hero: I will win! No one can stop me and my super-powers! I am a Superhero! And everyone knows that a good Superhero needs a belt...and my brother lost....I mean mine was broken in a battle to save the Earth and I will claim a new one on Saturday! By the power of Greyskull, I will win!

Hobo turns around and sees TGA trying to start a fight with Phoenix Rose and Enforcer. Enforcer manages to push him away and in a fit of rage TGA storms around the ring kicking everything and knocking the set over.

He rolls out of the ring and looks at Hobo:

TGA: Consider yourselves TRASHED!!

Trash TV look around the ring, where TGA has hit everything he has managed to put most of the rubbish into neat piles and the ring looks tidier than it ever has for Trash Talk.

Hobo: NOOO!!! My beautiful set! You've ruined it...you'll pay at Destiny!

Enforcer is stood next to Hobo looking worried, he nudges him and starts whispering to him. The cameraman moves closer so that he can hear what is being said.

Enforcer: H, calm down! Me and you are here, Hollywood is Phoenix and PrimeTime is Hero...

Hobo: Yeah so what? They're supposed to be in character you're spoiling it!

Enforcer: I know but if the four of us are in the ring...who's that playing TGA?

Hbo: Ummm...errr....it could be Trish or Belinda?

Enforcer: I know Bel is a master of disuise, but I doubt that even she could sound that much like a man! And I sure as hell know that Trish doesn't!

Hobo: So who's th....

Hobo and Enforcer look up to see TGA sneaking up the ramp.

Hobo: Hey you! Stop! Who are you?

TGA starts to run up the ramp and as he runs behind the curtain his hood falls down, showing the back of a mass of white hair.

Enforcer: What was that?

Hobo: I've no idea!

Hobo loks at the crowd


Hobo: Well I'm afraid that's all we've got time for today! Join us again soon for another edition of insightful interviews, serious issues and high adventure on Trash Talk!

fin

HAving read that, I just realised that was the debut of Salsa Pygmento as TGA!

(link for this show is [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Epic!!!