Scott Steiner quotes

From NoDQ.com


Warning: You may laugh uncontrollably so don't read this if you're meant to be working or something...





* "You can get anything you want baby, you want my room number? You wanna be like be a real man?"

* "You look at this face! This is the face of pain! I'm the bringer of pain! And I'm gonna destroy you! You can cry for mercy, but I don't know the meaning of the word!" (as demonic wrestler "Mega Man" in the Charmed episode Wrestling With Demons)

* "Say something nice and I'll make you scream twice!"

* "This goes out to all my freaks out there: Big Poppa Pump is your hookup; holler, if you hear me!"

* "Now last week, I was watching TV, and I watched a 53-year-old man come out here who has more loose skin than a sharpé puppy come out here and say he's still the man!"

* "He's s'posed to be the limousine-ridin', jet-flyin' son of a gun, but I'm sayin' ONE TIME, you shoulda took a cab and used that money to fix yourse crooked, yellow teeth!"

* "You know, I stand here in Las Vegas, Nevada...In the town that never sleeps. But I've been going for 30 days and 30 nights with a freak on my left, a freak on my right, and one in a box. So being in Las Vegas is a night off for me. So I'm just here to tell ya, Big Poppa Pump is in town and he's ready to pound."

* "Now I just heard that sniveling, crying, littla mama's boy Marcus Buff Bagwell say he wants to be, at behind my brothers back

someone I've beat up my whole life. Now Macrus, I knocked you down in Chicago in front of your mother, and I beat my brother up my whole life, so you guys are a bunch of losers!"

* "All my hoochies say: 'there's nothing finer than Scott Steiner!'"

* "You are not Big Poppa Pump and I'm gonna kick your ass!" (Towards then World Heavyweight Champion, Triple H.)

* "You know where to find me: I'll be flexin' my peaks, pleasin' my freaks... and when they say 'boom-shakalaka!', that's when you know that I'm the Big Booty Daddy! So Big Poppa Pump is your hook-up; holler, if ya hear me!!"

* "Do you want to be mesmermized by the physical phenomenon?"

* "All I care about is my peaks, and my freaks, nation-wide!"

* "DDP, you need to get a sex-change so you can get the balls to come out here and fight me!"

* "So DDP, when you in the hospital screaming in pain...your wife is going to be on her back screaming my name!"

* "All I see is nothing but a bunch of gas-pumping, tobacco-chewing, inbred, white trash!"

* "Buff Bagwell ain't nothin' but a chippendale dancer!"

* "As Chris Jericho discovered last Monday night, and this jackass found out tonight; I haven't just been sitting at home, eating potato chips, and wasting away. I'm still the genetic freak, with the largest arms in the world. So this goes out to all my freaks in South Carolina, Big Poppa Pump is your hookup; holler if you hear me!"

* "Any of you Hooches out there, wanna get some action? The Big Bad Booty Daddy will give you satisfaction!"

* "I'm not only a man, I'm a Genetic Freak!"

* "No-one can duplicate the highest peaks on earth."

* "There's nothing finer then Scott Steiner!"

* "You can handle a man, but not a Genetic Freak."

* "No, your mother sucks! YOUR MOTHER SUCKS!" (responding to fans chanting "Steiner Sucks")

* "You guys are just white trash!"

* "Tonight...I kill you."

* "SIT DOWN FAT BOY!!"

* "Well this rudey poo, is unsellable!" (in reference to the Samoa Joe DVD "Unstoppable: The Best of Samoa Joe")

* "You put whoop-dee-do in your hair!" (talking about Christian Cage)

* "I got a problem with Samoa Joe calling himself Samoa Joe. You're a freakin' half breed, and I'm gonna treat you like a half breed."

* "I got the largest arms in the world; you see that Joe? That's a vein. Something you don't have you fat Bar Steward."

* "Big Poppa Pump is your hookup, and the next heavyweight championship of the world!"

* "Christian Cage, you made a big mistake bein' in Sting's corner. And when people make mistakes, the Big Bad Booty Daddy makes them pay for it!"

* "But you don't know me, and you don't know what I'm caple of."

* "Everybody knowww…wants to know where I've been…"

* "CUZ I'M READY TO SNAP!"

* "The way I see it, you already got two strikes against ya. One; you're not big enough, or strong enough to go one on one with the genetic freak. The other thing is, you're from that stinking country you call Canada. So watch, I think it's your time, to go back up, to that cesspool, that place we call MEXICO NORTH. And I apologize to all the Mexicans out there." (to Christian Cage)

* "Jeff and I thought maybe he'd pick the Ultimate Warrior, someone that's from his past, maybe his good buddy Lex Luger, or even Goldberg. But he picked Christian Cage, a guy who says he can't understand a word I'm saying. Well, you see, I come from a highly educated university, so when I come out and speak to this white trash, I gotta dumb myself down. But apparently that wasn't stupid enough for Christian Cage!"

* "See, everybody knows American white trash is up here-" (puts a hand above his head for emphasis) "-and then Canadian white trash is way down here." (points down to the ground for emphasis) "So Christian Cage, I got a question for ya: what's it like knowing you're the lowest form of homie sapien there is!?"

* "All I care about is my freaks and my peaks!"

* "HEH?!"

* "Big Poppa Pump is your hookup and the next Heavyweight Championship of the World!"

* "I'm one of the most decorated tag teams ever!"

* "GIMME THE f***IN' MIC!"

* "You wanna know what's casting a shadow?"
(flexes muscles, blocking and unblocking Jeremy Borash's face in the process)
"See your head, now you don't. See your head, now you don't. That's casting a shadow, bitch!"

* "So all you gotta do, is dot your T's and cross your I's, and step back, i'll show you how to win bitch!" (To Tomko)

* "You can't make chicken salad out of chicken Poopie."

* "Sting is a champion of trash."

* "I'll tell you when to kiss my ass! And that's at Slammiversary, after we beat you, and I say pucker up!"

* "HEH! Who's the man!?"

* "I'm the biggest sonofabitch that ever lived!"

* "Now I don't have a doctor's permission to wrestle, but I don't need an invitation to kick your ass!"

* "It's not gonna change mah focus on gettin' even with Go-berg for fractionin' my face!"

* "See when I have my freaks horizontal, they understand size, they appreciate size, and size does matter. And they know that they don't have to wait for the earth to rotate on a 47-degree axis so the stars can smuck the sky and create a equalax, so they can see the big dipper. No no no. All they gotta do is call up the big Poppa, cause I'm the man with the big dipper, and satisfaction's comin when I gobehein and do the bump'n'grind and its only a matter of time before they call me the BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY!"

* "Goldberg, you're not going to win the Royal Rumble, I AM!"

* "AW I DIDN'T WANNA HEAR HIS OPINION!"

* "Just like at Hirojima, when Pearl Harbor bombed the Germans!"

* "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! NO SHUT UP NED! Get a GPS in this thing! You're a redneck! You drive a redneck truck! Yuri dump! Get my bags! GIT MAH BRAAAGS! And you can shine my shoes if I want ya to!" (to Tomko driving to the arena)

* "I'm doing him an egg! You're not me and you paris! I'm sanding into your dumb redneck ass! I'm hungry!" (to Tomko)

* "Now I've wrestled alotta countries!"

* "At Sackerfice (Sacrifice)..."

* "See Kurt Angle, what makes you think you’re so special. You haven't done anything that I have already done. Who have you beaten that I already beaten. John Cena, I beat him; Batista, I beat him; and I don't care how many times Triple H had to sleep with the boss' daughter, I beat him."

* Scott Steiner: "You know, they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at Samoa Joe, and you can see that statement is not true! See, normally if you go one-on-one with another wrestler, you got a 50-50 chance of winnin'. But I'm a genetic freak, and I'm not normal, so you got a 25% at best at beatin' me! And then you add Kurt Angle to the mix? Your chances of winnin' drasticy go down. See the three-way, at Sacrifice, you got a 33 1/3 chance of wiinnin'. But I, I got a 66 2/3 chance of winning, cause Kurt Angle KNOWS he can't beat me, and he's not even gonna try! So, Samoa Joe, you take your 33 1/3 chance, minus my 25 percent chance, and you got an 8 1/3 chance of winnin' at Sacrifice! But then you take my 75 perchance chance at winnin', if we was to go one-on-one, and to add 66 2/3 ch… percents, I got a 141 2/3 chance of winnin at Sacrifice! See, McJoe; the numbers don't like, and they spell disaster for you at Sacrifice! See- but I'm gonna break it down for all you ladies." (turns to Lauren) "Would you rather be with me, or would you rather be with Joe?"
Lauren: "Well, I think Joe's kinda nice, I mean, you know?"
Steiner: "See, you're one o' those girls that like romance. I'm-a talk to all my freaks out there. Would you rather come home to me, a genetic freak, to be satisfied every night, or go home to that fatass Samoa Joe!? See, tonight, we're gonna win, and I'm gonna be the World Champion at Sacrifice! Come on, Petey! Let's go!"

The finest mic man in the history of professional wrestler, only Jumpin' Jeff Farmer comes close to Steiners capleilities.

They dont actually read as good as they sound, definately watch them on YT to get the full Steiner promo experience

Scott Steiner vs the english language

For those who have not seen this I urge you to watch it, hilarious comedy.

I think Steiner should just cut a huge 2 hour promo on each episode of Impact

If that happened Steve TNA would do an 8.5 rating every week.

Even better, just put Steiner on commentary, hell get him to the WWE to do it, imagine him and Michael Cole working together!

'You see Cole, there are 4 sides to your Cole Mine, if i take down one side, that makes you 25% less protected, then if i flex my peaks and please my freaks and take down another side, you are only 50% protected, and i've got your other 50%, so add that to the 100% i already have in my right arm, that gives me 150% to your 50%, so with 2 sides to your Cole Mine i have a 100% chance of beating your a*ss Michael Cole, because im your big bad booty daddy, and you can shut your ass up too Booker T you black trash'.

Ratings guaranteed! Vince, sort it.

Scott Steiner and Jim Ross would be epic on commentary.

"BAH GAWD! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!"

"You wanna know what carnage is Jim Ross? ~flexes bicep~ THAT right there is carnage! I'm full of carnage! I'll carnage your ass right now!"

"SOMEBODY STOP THE DAMN MATCH DAMMIT! THIS AIN'T RIGHT!"

"I stopped matches. I stopped everybody before! Big Poppa Pump can stop anybody with my peaks but I can't stop my freaks screamin' my name because when the Big Bad Booty Daddy fires up and busts them up then you know that I'm the Genetic Freak!"

"GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY! THAT KILLED HIM! HOW DO YOU LEARN TO FALL OFF A 20 FOOT LADDER?"

"See, Big Poppa Pump's been to the top. An' the top is bigger than 20 feet. But it ain't bigger than my peaks! I got the largest arms in the world! The Big Bad Booty Daddy don't fall, unlike that scrawny ass bitch did right there, the Big Bad Booty Daddy NEVER falls! I throw people around & I throw my arms up high so that you know when Scott Steiner does that then all my freaks are gonna lose their minds and call me the Genetic Freak cos I am the man that can do it Jim Ross!"

"1.....2......3....NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION! TRIPLE H IS THE WWE CHAMPION!"

"Triple H should be called Triple Bitch because he's a bitch 10 times over! I beat him, I'll beat you Jim Ross because Big Poppa Pump has got the ways and means to keep 'em keen so that all the hoochies know when Big Poppa Pump splits the stars and melts the atom that those freaks will be twitchin' and Triple H will be bitchin' because Scott Steiner is taking it down town all the way to the subway and the Genetic Freak is calling them out and makin' 'em shout right down to their fine behinds! Big Poppa Pump is all about the freaks and flexin' his peaks because everybody knows........wants to know what I'm caple of but they don't know what they need to know which is Scott Steiner is gonna kick their fat asses all the way to Pittsburgh and back which is over there if they don't know what's good for 'em! I'M HUNGRY!"

Since Steiner has come back to TNA he has been awful IMO; doesn't intrest me at all.