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THE MOST ACCURATE AND INTELLIGENT ENGLAND ASSESSMENT YOU WILL EVER READ!

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:39 pm

What a humiliatingly flaccid performance from England! You’d think that with such a huge amount of greedy ball fondling, and enough up front domination to satisfy even the most insatiable of fetishists, they’d have managed to erect some sort of hard thrust, but no. How can they expect to offer any kind of penetration with such a limp performance?

Danny Care did his best to stimulate some excitement for the spectators, but there’s only so much his little hands can do when dealing with such flaccidity. Time and again England’s hard on approach in midfield was easily handled, and beaten off by the Welsh defense, and even after an hour of hard pumping and loads of sweat, England never could cum good. Finally Wales were able to cum from behind and finish England off.

England has to do something to stiffen up and get creative. They can’t expect to have anything cum out of just banging away all day with the large, but soft, members of their team. They need to use their heads, and experiment with some new moves and maybe even think of switching positions if they really want to add some spark to their stale and unadventurous performances.

The better rugby teams of the world will handle them easily and score all day if this floppy performance is a sign of things to cum!
Cum on England: we’re gagging for a good hard showing that’ll make us throb with pride, and you should lust after nothing less.

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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:42 pm

I though 606v2 was for grown ups 🤦

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:48 pm

Did you? Well you were wrong. Sorry if you're above such things, but I'm not.

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Post by greybeard Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:51 pm

I think that assessment was a bit... premature.

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:53 pm

That, Greybeard, is both inappropriate and offensive. Grow up!

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Post by Shifty Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:54 pm

Countnefarious wrote:Finally Wales were able to cum from behind

You do realise Nigel Owen, Gareth Thomas and Lee Bryne weren't playing today dont you?

Joking aside, yes I agree with you Smile


Last edited by AlynDavies on Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post by rodders Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:55 pm

I think Sigmund Freud would have enjoyed this thread..... Whistle
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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:55 pm

If you find it entertaining then good for you Very Happy

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 5:58 pm

Yes, I find it both stimulating and satisfying. The fact that it upsets some of you only adds to my pleasure.

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Post by Thomond Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:01 pm

One or two bits were funny but it was offensive overall.

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Post by greybeard Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:01 pm

Countnefarious wrote:Yes, I find it both stimulating and satisfying. The fact that it upsets some of you only adds to my pleasure.

Oh, but of course. It's all about your pleasure, isn't it? A considerate and loving analysis would leave both parties satisfied.

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:03 pm

Well I went for slightly offensive and very funny, but it came out slightly funny and very offensive . . . rather like England's performance today.

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Post by flyhalffactory Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:03 pm

taxi..................
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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:04 pm

greybeard wrote:
Countnefarious wrote:Yes, I find it both stimulating and satisfying. The fact that it upsets some of you only adds to my pleasure.

Oh, but of course. It's all about your pleasure, isn't it? A considerate and loving analysis would leave both parties satisfied.

You knew the score when we entered this Greybeard! I'm not ready for a relationship.

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Post by greybeard Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:05 pm

You're like England at a ruck. Scared of commitment.

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Post by Thomond Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:07 pm

I think the Count is like school in July. No class.

Note: I have nothing against you I just needed to say something funny.

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:08 pm

Greybeard: And you're like Wales at a scrum/lineout. Desperate for balls.

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Post by Thomond Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:08 pm

Read the post now that I've updated it, I was just trying to be funny.

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:09 pm

Thomand: no problem. A lack of class is not something I take offense to. OK

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Post by greybeard Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:11 pm

Countnefarious wrote:Greybeard: And you're like Wales at a scrum/lineout. Desperate for balls.

...and unaccountably orange.

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Post by Knowsit17 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:19 pm

Never been one to hold back, eh Count? I must say, I find your strategy of not beating around the bush and ploughing on in there, hitting the nail bang on the head in your own particular way to be oddly refreshing. Some may disagree but your staying true to your own standards and refusal to be gentle does hold a bizarre charm to itself...want to write about next week too?

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:23 pm

If I feel sufficiently stimulated.

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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:30 pm

Countnefarious wrote:Yes, I find it both stimulating and satisfying. The fact that it upsets some of you only adds to my pleasure.

It didnt upset me in the slightest , but if schoolboy humour is your preference !! Now where's my Whoppie Cushion

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:39 pm

Perand25, Well it upset you on an intellectual level didn't it?

This article may seen immature and dull to you, but some would disagree. It wasn't supposed to be a comedic masterpiece, but I personally do find it funny. It's great that you felt the need to offer your oh so constructive criticism, and I'm sorry you didn't like it. I doubt I would find you the least bit entertaining either, no matter how hard you tried, but I wouldn't feel the need to tell you that. Woops! I just did.

Oh, and I don't think that a whoopie cushion would work online.

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:43 pm

I was wrong!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTsXtu3ivko

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Post by Notch Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:46 pm

I was thinking about this today. I never find funny things offensive really. But if you don't hit the mark with the funny... well, call it a swing and a miss Whistle

Humour is very subjective. Whatever makes you feel better about taking on the world with a Hape/Tindall centre partnership mate OK
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Post by Shifty Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:49 pm

flyhalffactory wrote:taxi..................
Where is Scott Gibbs when you need him! furious

greybeard wrote:You're like England at a ruck. Scared of commitment.
laughing
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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:50 pm

Well, I sort of make a living at the funny thing, but you're absolutely right Notch: it is totally subjective, and we can certainly disagree.

By the way, nothing could make me feel better about a Hape/Tindall partnership.


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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 6:58 pm

You probably would not find me entertaining but then again when you post something like that you have to be prepared for a bit of flak but your obviously a little agrieved at my replys as i did not personally comment on you but only on your sense of humour.

I did not find it dull as you finely said in your comment and my oh so constructive critisism was not maybe expanded enough for you so i do apologise .What concerened me more was that someone put so much effort for such a load of cr@p kiss

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:01 pm

What makes you think I put "so much effort" into this load of crap?

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Post by Taffineastbourne Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:01 pm

Thank the Good Lord that Hape is neither Welsh nor English!

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Post by Notch Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:02 pm

AlynDavies wrote:
greybeard wrote:You're like England at a ruck. Scared of commitment.
laughing

Now that... that was brilliant notworthy
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Post by Shifty Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:03 pm

Countnefarious wrote:What makes you think I put "so much effort" into this load of crap?

Hey calm down dude, the piece you wrote was funny Smile.

But when you spell come as "cum", and use words like "flacid", you are clearly putting a sexual tint into your post. which knowing this lot on the forum will distract them from the point of your article.
There's no need to be offended when they start having a bit of fun back. Hug
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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:06 pm

Sorry if I got a little too aroused.

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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:14 pm

Ale Hug

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Post by Shifty Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:14 pm

Countnefarious wrote:Sorry if I got a little too aroused.

That's ok but I think you shot perand25 in the eye

Oh god.. now I've started 🤦
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Post by perand25 Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:18 pm

Its ok ive got tissues Shocked

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Post by Countnefarious Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:25 pm

And I've got issues (apparently.)

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Post by Shifty Sat 13 Aug 2011, 7:29 pm

Tissues and Issues then Headscratch
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