Funniest thing you have seen on a golf course thread

[tarka]

Could be a bad shot, something stupid, something broken etc

I'll kick it off with a couple

I was playing my away course one evening this summer coming down the 4th when I saw what I thought was my mate on a distant hole (the course was deserted). I thought I would play a few holes with him so I phoned him to see if it was him (he was walking about 300 yards away in the opposite direction). When I phoned him I could see him reaching into his back which was on his back to grab the phone not paying attention and he stumbled straight into a steep bunker. I ran across and he was lying in the bunker thinking he had shattered his ankle. The bag was still in on his back. I rib him about this every time I see him now.


Secondly, the weekend before last I was playing a medal with a coulpe of lads I had not played with before. I left a chip from the edge of the green to about 2 ft so went to mark it and the other lad took the flag out and placed it at the edge of the green for the other boy to put a 20ft putt uphill. This guy pure leathered the putt and it was going off the green towards the flag. he shouted at the other guy "move the flag move the flag!" and this lad dived bodylength, putter in hand to skillfully hook the flag away with the putter. The flag went about six feet in the air and we all burst out laughing to the dismay of the captain and his partners on a nearby green.

[drive4show]

Bowood, Cornwall. Stood on the tee of a par 5 that runs along the top of the hill. Mate tees off with his driver, catches it thin and it hits the ladies marker post that gives you all the info about the hole. Ball flies behind us and rolls back down the fairway of the previous hole which happened to be an uphill par 4. Took a 3 wood just to get back to the tee!

Another story told to me by a friend at my club. He was playing TOC and pulled an approach shot right across to the far side of one of the double greens. As he made the long walk across the green, his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he answered, it was his playing partner asking if he wanted the flagged tended

[hend085]

This May playing on a wet course in a society a mate was in a golfkart with playing partner heading downhill towards a par 4 green with lake in front hit the breaks about 30 yards short but started to skid and twirl.
By the time the buggy reached the water he and playing partner had no option but to jump ship.
to make matters worse the kart went in backwards (ie clubs first).
it went right into the deepest part of the lake and sank to the bottom. he had to strip off and dive in in his birthday suit to recover the 2 sets of clubs/phones wallets etc.
Funniest thing i have ever and probably will ever see on a golf course! ... although him explaining the situation to the club pro was a very close second

[Maverick]

Firstly can we stop putting the word "thread" in the title to a thread surely by now we know what a thread is.....

Onto the funniest thing, well one I mentioned on a previous "thread" (damn i used the word) When playing a junior match we saw one of the lady members being given a good seeing to on the 16th hole back at the back tee box. She was totally bare naked and the man giving her the seeing to wasn't her husband but another male member both totally oblivious to the fact we were there they we so into it. We all found it a) hilarious b) good to see a live show however the lad in the group behind us didn't as it was his mum.

Other than that, one junior medal, one of the lads got caught short went into the trees to take a richard the third, realised needed to wipe thought he had picked up a hand full of leaves but upon wiping and hearing the screams we all knew he had in fact picked up stinging nettles.......... Walked funny for ages after that, and my score fell apart from nearly wetting myself with laughter

[tarka]

[quote="Maverick"]Firstly can we stop putting the word "thread" in the title to a thread surely by now we know what a thread is.....


sorry about that i've done it twice

[kwinigolfer]

Late one evening at HVGC (Shotrock will know the place) playing a four-man scramble eightsome. One of the golfers is deaf and dumb - we call him the Mute.

One player misses his birdie putt so the Mute steps in and everyone is respectfully quiet. The (late sad to say) Muffin pipes up:
"Why the f--- are you all so quiet? He can't hear a f---ing thing."
Not even our laughter as he holed the putt.

[Skydriver]

Anyone ever rolled a golf buggy?

I was a passenger when it nearly happened to me, but "thankfully", my playing partner's bag fell off the back first and the change in weight/balance meant that the entire vehicle didn't follow. Only just though.

She learned a couple of valuable lessons from the episode I think - (a) actually attach the bag to the cart with the straps provided and (b) don't just leave pedal to metal when navigating even moderately steep sidehill lie fairways.

[tarka]

This May playing on a wet course in a society a mate was in a golfkart with playing partner heading downhill towards a par 4 green with lake in front hit the breaks about 30 yards short but started to skid and twirl.
By the time the buggy reached the water he and playing partner had no option but to jump ship.
to make matters worse the kart went in backwards (ie clubs first).
it went right into the deepest part of the lake and sank to the bottom. he had to strip off and dive in in his birthday suit to recover the 2 sets of clubs/phones wallets etc.
Funniest thing i have ever and probably will ever see on a golf course! ... although him explaining the situation to the club pro was a very close second

Can picture this perfecly. Thank you for telling me this story, brilliant

[dynamark]

Mav well done at least 2 well hidden innuendo.
I have a couple recently both on the same tee with a pond to the rear.
Old guy who sadly has a virus affecting his balance fell back into the pond.wig floated away and one of the lads jumped in to fish him out.
On the same tee mates wife concentrating on her tee shot as a swan came in on low flightpath to land in the pond she didnt see it until the last second and flung herself to the floor before being flattened.One of same group of swans learing to fly went straight into driving range net and collapsed in a heap.Not funny really

[oldshanker]

Another story told to me by a friend at my club. He was playing TOC and pulled an approach shot right across to the far side of one of the double greens. As he made the long walk across the green, his phone vibrated in his pocket. When he answered, it was his playing partner asking if he wanted the flagged tended

Now that is not only funny, but also very clever. I wish I had done it! Mind you, now I probably will.

[super_realist]

Phones on TOC? Mac will be spinning in his grave.

[JAS]

There's been a few incidents of playing partners losing it, the funniest of which saw a partner emerge from woods after about 8 shots with a right angle bend in his 3 iron. The one that takes the biscuit for me though is (and I wasn't even golfing) was sitting on the patio of the Carnmarth Hotel in Newquay which overlooks the golf course and Fistral Beach. The road to the beach was packed as it was mid August. Out of nowhere a guy jumps the fence (NAKED) strides onto the nearest green, lifts the flag and proceeds to run up the fairway like Steve Backley about to launch his Olympic javelin bid. After running past the shellshocked 3ball of old duffers he launches the flag just before he falls flat on his face!! He recovers and is singing as he jumps back over the fence to his waiting (and equally drunk mates). The old boys just stood there having a debate about who should go and retrieve the flag. Glad I wasn't playing that day but it was hilarious to watch from the sidelines.

[super_realist]

Mav, brilliant story about the woman getting pumped on the tee box.

[Maverick]

SR to this day, my favourite ever golfing memory especially as she was a bit of a MILF and all us juniors used to wind our mate up about wanting to catch his mum in the shower or pop round and give her what his dad wasn't! Then when that happened we all got to see the goods in action.....

[super_realist]

Sadly it's a bit exposed and nippy up at St.Andrews for that to happen although I remember hearing that a schoolfriend once pumped a girl on the TOC 18th green banking late one evening.
Mac would be disgusted to hear of such desecration.

[Maverick]

18th Green at TOC, that must've been the only time the "hole" was worthing playing.

Have had my own biscuit dunking session out on the course when I was younger but that was risky as oldman mav was on the course somewhere at the time but she was a game girl that one

[Faldono1fan]

Did anyone see "A Question of Sport" the other week? In the "What happened next?" round a european lady golfer was marking her ball with a tee on a cart path. Right next to her mark was a buggy and the driver decided he better get out the way quickly. He veered off down the cart path nearly taking out a couple of spectators before swerving straight into an oak tree. The golfer (sorry can't remember her name) was a bit stunned to say the least! I laughed so loud that my 16 year old son who was upstaies listening to loud music with earphones in and his door shut heard me!

[Mercurio]

Did anyone see "A Question of Sport" the other week? In the "What happened next?" round a european lady golfer was marking her ball with a tee on a cart path. Right next to her mark was a buggy and the driver decided he better get out the way quickly. He veered off down the cart path nearly taking out a couple of spectators before swerving straight into an oak tree. The golfer (sorry can't remember her name) was a bit stunned to say the least! I laughed so loud that my 16 year old son who was upstaies listening to loud music with earphones in and his door shut heard me!

It's on YouTube somewhere.

I do an irreverent post-competition review for about 25 members at my club and I add a golf-related YouTube clip to it and I remember adding that one.

[Davie]

Someone once told me that my swing was the funniest thing they'd ever seen on a golf course

[BlueCoverman]

Not witnessed by me but seen by my Father on a Sunday morning in 1979. Dad was playing at his club in Essex which runs adjacent to the River Chelmer.

There were around 60 members on the course for that mornings competition. Suddenly the peaceful surroundings were disturbed by the roar of a motorbike that appeared at the top of the disused viaduct that crossed the river at the far end of the course.

It was Eddie Kidd filming a stunt for the film 'Riding High'. All golf came to a grinding halt as Eddie raced up to the hastily built ramp and jumped the 100 foot long gap across the river. It was pretty impressive to say the least and there is a fairly well known photo of it which I am sure some of you may have seen.

Not a funny story but something you will not see whilst on the golf course every day! It was certainly the talk of the golf club and the local town for some time!

[little_bit_of_draw]

This ones easy for me! Happened about 3 weeks ago at my local course at Burgham Park.

I invited two mates to play with me and upon arriving at the course we found out we were behind 3 lady members. They all seemed like fairly good players and the round went on at a good pace.

One of the guys who was playing had just bought himself a new electric trolley and I was asking him where he had gotten it from and how much etc etc and he was saying he was dead impressed with it and how happy he was with it. Mick (the other one of my mates) wasn't having a very good game and he had been all over the place off the tee, especially with his driver. I don't think he had hit one fairway until we reached the 18th. When we got to the tee box we discovered that one of the ladies had found the ditch that cuts diagonally across the fairway. We had all taken our drivers out and were just chatting away and swinging our clubs as you do on the tee.

It was a warm day and we had been troubled by those little black flys all day. There is a small aeroplane runway near the course and you often get little 2 seater planes taking off and flying over the course. As we were practicing our swings on the 18th tee a plane took off and flew directly over us. I looked up to see how low it was and as I did so I noticed thousands of those little black flys directly above our head. I then made a statement like "christ look at all those flys". Mick then proceeded to swing his driver at them saying something like "p*** off you little..." before totally overswinging and smashing his driver head straight into my other friends brand new trolley. The entire handle on the trolley seemed to explode into a million peices with plastic flying all over the tee box. I was in kinks already before the lad that owned the trolley just said "go on Mick mate, smash me f****** trolley marra". CLASSIC!

I thought I would wait 10 seconds before saying "hey Mick, thats the first thing you've hit all day" before rolling on the floor laughing. I was in tears by the time the ladies had played the hole out and Mick stepped up to smash his drive straight down the middle of the fairway. The guy thats trolley was smashed just said "it must have straightened your driver head up when you wrecked my trolley you b******"! I wish I could have caught it on video as it would have made me a fortune on you've been framed!

Still makes me chuckle now every time I step on the 18th tee box at Burgham!

[bluefoxgolf]

Annual tour with three mates, two incidents spring to mind.

1) Playing a short par 4 (reachable in one) at Coollattin golf club in Ireland. Mate tries to park his trolley by pushing it down what looked like a slight incline to a level piece of ground. However on glancing round to see if it had parked he was aghast to see it running down a sharp incline towards the green of a earlier hole. He proceeeds to chase the trolley whilst at the same time waving his apologies at a four ball who are preparing to take there second shots to the green. The trolley crosses the green at pace with said mate still chasing and is only stopped by an area of waist high grass. Not sure what the group preparing to tee off from our hole thought as we rolled around the green in laughter.

2) You probably had to be there for this one. Playing the 18th at Newquay on a cold and wet June evening all four of us have found the fairway for a change. Mate from earlier storey is first to identify his ball about 120yds from the green. Despite another ball lying about five yards directly behind his, he proceeds to take a stance as if to play. The three of all look at each as if to say what the hell is he doing, but never the less allow him to proceed. He catches the ball ever so sweetly and it eventually comes to rest about 6 feet from the flag on the 16th green. (some 30 yards left and long of the 18th). He turns to us with a huge grin on his face its then that we cannot hold our laughter any longer. took us some some time to explain that he had hit to the wrong green.

[oldparwin]

At our course we have what we thought was a friendly and sociable fox, that sits near to the 2nd tee and once you have teed off walks about 10 to 20 yards behind you up the fairway to the green.
Last week my mate got into trouble with his 2nd shot to the said green, and the fox was watching his shenanigans very closely, eventually he managed to get his ball onto the green, took out his putter and dropped his golf bag about 10 yards away just off the green, the fox then walked over to his golf bag, had a long sniff at it, then piddled down the bag.

Our conclusion was, that fox thought, that was the worst 2nd shot he had ever seen

[Doon the Water]

OPW.
I had a dog do that on my bag a few months ago. The guy walking it was sooooo embarassed.

My funny concerns my brother in law on his first outing on a golf course. I had been coaching him on the golf range for a couple of months and he was doing well.
Playing on a 9 hole par 3 course his first ever shot with 6 iron hooks 100 yards straight for the 3rd green. Four guys on the green dive for cover as we yell 'Fore'. Ball pitches just short of the green and rolls into the hole.

He played three holes in one shot on his first visit to a golf course.

[twoeightnine]

There have been a few but my favourite has to be from a lads golf tour to Portugal. We got to the first tee a little worse for wear following a good night and found that the course had got a photographer to take photos of you teeing off. She took the photos as you finished your follow through.

One of the guys stepped up, took a massive swipe, almost missed the ball completely and it just fell off the tee. Suffice to say that when they tried to flog us the photos after the round the only one we bought was the one of my mate in a great follow through position but with the ball about 2" from where it started. If it had also had the sound you would have heard a dozen guys cheering and laughing.

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