Random Thoughts.....

The following ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with Spice – the drug of choice for WWE mid-carders. It’s also the drug of choice for some WWE main-eventers but that’s by the by. Now take the 30 day suspension and quit your crying.


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The Rock came back to RAW, Rock Bottomed Mick Foley (welcome back Mick!), talked smack about John Cena then helped Cena beat up the Miz and R-Truth. This whole thing has been about as ass backward as you can get since it was announced that Cena and the Rock would team up at Survivor Series.

If they absolutely HAD to get the Rock involved at Madison Square Garden, then it should have been as the fifth man in a 5 on 5 elimination match, with all the babyfaces taking on a team of heels that were the BIGGEST THREAT THE WWE HAS EVER KNOWN!

I reckon the reason they bottled it is because WWE knew they had to get it down to Cena and the Rock as the last men standing so they could turn on each other or make out or whatever, but didn’t want any of their other top babyfaces who could have been in the team (Punk, Orton, Triple H or Sheamus) being eliminated, therefore made to look ‘weak’.

Pretty soon I reckon WWE won’t have any of their babyfaces doing any jobs, under any circumstances. They might as well go the whole hog and give each of their top guys a World title too while they’re at it.


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Mick Foley returned to the WWE to rehash another ‘This is Your Life’ segment on RAW. If all Foley is going to do in this stint with the company is recycle old material then they should just cut to the chase and start filming ‘Lost in Cleveland’ skits now.

Or else bring back Dude Love to partner the toughest SOB in the WWE;

“OWW! Tamina-o! It’s me, Dude Love! And I’m coming to save the day! OWW! Have mercy!”


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Once again, the Awesome Truth got their asses handed to them, although this time it took 2 guys to do it. So I guess that’s an improvement. If I were them I wouldn’t bother showing up for Survivor Series, I’d just send Iron Mike Sharpe and Virgil in a wig to do the job instead.


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The Michael Cole Challenge finally took place on RAW this week! And boy was it worth the wait! Aside from Jim Ross taking his first steps towards a bowler hatted rapper gimmick, and CM Punk locking in the Anaconda Vice on Michael Cole, it was a pretty pointless exercise done only to once again take Jim Ross out of his comfort zone.

I’m starting to wonder what it would take for Jim Ross to finally say enough was enough and quit the WWE. The only thing I can think of is if Vince McMahon forced Good Ol’ JR to cut a promo where he said John Wayne and Bill Watts were homosexual, vegetarian Nazis, who supplied weapons to terrorists from their base in Oklahoma, which was discovered by the French, and that Steve Austin is a sissy.

Even then he probably wouldn’t quit.


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Dolph Ziggler will once again pull double duty at a WWE pay per view. There’s a pretty good chance he’ll drop the US title to Zack Ryder (shudder) at Survivor Series but I think they should turn this into a bit of a gimmick for Ziggler. It’d set him apart from the others trying to break out of the pack if he was wrestling two, three or even four matches in the one night, as well as helping develop his in-ring skills.

Sod it, they might as well go nuts with it. Keep the US title on him, have him and Swagger win the tag titles, resurrect the European, Hardcore and Western States Heritage titles and have Dolph defend all the belts at pay per views.

They can rename the pay per views after him too; Tables, Ladders & Ziggler. The Royal Ziggler. Elimination Dolph. ZigglerMania. BackDolph. Extreme Ziggler. Judgment Dolph. Money in the Ziggler. SummerDolph. Capitol Ziggler. Night of Dolph. Survivor Ziggler. I’d buy them all.

Make it so Vince.


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How long before WWE repackage Daniel Bryan Danielson as the ‘Little Show’ in light of what’s been happening on Smackdown recently?

It’s coming people.


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You know how the Elimination Chamber pods are made of ‘unbreakable’ plexi-glass? And yet every year someone goes through the seemingly indestructible material? Well I have it on good authority that next year’s chambers are going to have pods lined with the most durable substance known to man;

The Lycra that Mark Henry’s singlets are made from.

Seriously, this stuff must be the toughest material ever created - it holds in the World Heavyweight champion’s front AND back boobs week in, week out.

That is some feat.


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Idea for the Diva’s division – A return to the glory days when we had Bulldogs, a Snake, a Birdman and a Rooster. That’s right, the ladies need animal gimmicks.

Kelly ‘The Cockatoo’ Kelly. Eve ‘The Duck Billed Platypus’ Torres. ‘The Terrier’ Layla El. Rosa ‘The Manatee’ Mendes.

All money.

F**ked if I know what they’re gonna do with Alicia Fox though.


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Triple H is being geared up to take over the reins from Vince McMahon but to be honest I hope Vinnie Mac stays in charge well into his 90’s when he’s losing the plot. The board meetings alone would be totally worth it.

“So Vince, we had a call from the WWF”

“The World Wrestling Federation? For over 50 years the revolutionary force in sports entertainment! WELCOME EVERYONE TO MONDAY NIGHT RAAAAAAAAAAAAW! WHATTA MANOUEVRE!”

“No Vince, the World Wildlife Fund. You know, the panda people? They’re moaning at us again about using our old logo on DVD’s and other merchandise”

“Panda people? YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU’RRRRRE FIIIIIIIIIARGHURGHED!”


“Yes Vince, the panda people. Not the ones who own TNA though”

“T&A? Test and Albert? What do they want?”

“Umm nothing Vince, actually one of them is dead”

“ALBERT’S DEAD?!?!?”

“No, Test”

“TRISH IS DEAD?!?!?”

“No Vince, Test is dead”

“Test?”

“Yeah Test. Remember Test? He was gonna marry Stephanie, eventually hooked up with Stacy Keibler, called his fans Testicles?”

“Testicles? THE SIZE OF GRRRRRRRRRAPEFRUITS! Balls? Balls Mahoney?! Screw ECW! I killed ECW! And I killed Bret Hart!”

“No Vince, you screwed Bret Hart”

“BRET HART! THE HITMAN! THE LEADER OF THE NEW GENERATION! BIG DADDY COOL DIESEL! THE LEADER OF THE NEW GENERATION! SHAAAAAAAWN MIIIIIIIIIIIICHAELS! THE LEADER OF THE NEW GENERATION!”

“Maybe we should cancel this meeting for another time?”

“ONE.............TWO..............THR-HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM! HE GOT HIM!............NOOOOOOOOOO!”

“Vince did you take your medication this morning?”

“UN...........BE............LIEVABLE!”

Senile Vince would rule.


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James Storm got attacked by a mystery assailant prior to his rematch with Bobby Roode for the TNA World title, which was followed by a classic backstage segment where Sting was asking James Storm where they were. It was great, made them both look like they had dementia;

“Where are we James?”

“I’m fine!”

“WHERE ARE WE?”

“............I’M FINE!”

“It’s windy today James”

“No it’s not, it’s Thursday”

“Me too, let’s go grab a drink”

Okay, I might have made the last part up but that’s how it should have gone down dammit.


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Now that Garrett Bischoff’s had his first match – a scintillating encounter if ever I saw one, it was like watching a young Ricky Steamboat except with bad hair and a vest – and won, do you think TNA will start pushing him as undefeated? Say bye-bye to your streak Crimson.

Bet you when Garrett Bischoff comes out next week Mike Tenay will claim he’s 32-0.

“THERE’S NEVER BEEN A STREAK LIKE IT!”


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Ric Flair is wasted in his current role as Eric Bischoff’s replacement son. He needs to bring back ‘A Flair for the Gold’. For those who didn’t see the original in WCW, it was basically Piper’s Pit, the Snake Pit, the Funeral Parlour, the Heartbreak Hotel, the Highlight Reel, the Cutting Edge, the Peep Show and Carlito’s Cabana all rolled into one. Back then it was great, today it would be epic;

Ric Flair (blading) is joined in the ring by his guest, AJ Styles. Flair takes the mic, then elbow drops his cream sports jacket, throws away the mic, blades his wheelchair and puts his cream sports jacket in the Figure Four before trying to talk into the wheelchair. Christy Hemme gets in the ring to hand Flair a microphone.

“WOOOO! MEAN BY GAWD GENE! A FLAIR FOR THE F**KING GOLD! WOOOO! IT’S BRIGHT LIGHTS! IT’S BIG CITIES! IT’S SPACE MOUNTAIN! IT’S FREE TICKETS! IT’S THE SAME F**KING CROWD EVERY WEEK! WOOOO! NOW MY GUEST TONIGHT! HERE HE IS! WHO ARE YOU? HUH? WHO ARE YOU? I KNOW WHO I AM! I’M THE NAITCHA F**KING BWAAAAH! RIC FLAIR! 16 TIMES! WORLD’S HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! ME! 16 TIMES! THE CHAMPION! YES! I AM! YOU! NO! ME! THAT’S RIGHT! CUSTOM MADE SH*T! FROM HEAD TO F**KING TOE! WOOOO! WHO ARE YOU HUH? WHO ARE YOU?”

“Well Ric, I’m~“

“WOOOO! THAT’S ALL WE GOT TIME FOR! SEE YOU NEXT WEEK! A F**KING FLAIR FOR THE F**KING GOLD! WOOOO!”

That’s how you use Ric Flair.


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Matt Morgan’s going around saying he’s the best big man in the business and no other 7 footer can do what he can do. Well Mr. Morgan that works both ways. If you’re 7 foot tall and don’t raise both arms above your head whilst bellowing “RAAAAAARGH!” then you ain’t nothin’.

You hear that Matt Morgan?

Nothin’.


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I’ve come up with a stonking idea for a piece of merchandise for TNA, based on a phrase made famous by Gordon Solie. I can’t believe it hasn’t been thought of before.

Crimson Masks.

Imagine the sight in the (Jefferson) Impact Zone when the undefeated ginger ninja strides out for his match, with hundreds of people wearing replica masks of his face. It’s foolproof.

Sod your ice cream bars, we want Crimson Masks.


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The only sticking point I can see with Crimson Masks is that they might make them a bit too realistic, which could lead to some problems;

Mike Tenay: “Here comes Crimson! And he’s wearing one of those Crimson Masks that are available now on the TNA website”

Taz: “Not for nuthin’ Tenay, but that ain’t no mask, that’s Crimson’s actual face!”

Mike Tenay: “Oh.....................OH!”

Other than that though, Crimson Masks are clearly the way to go.


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Chyna did an interview recently where she claimed that she wrote WWE a letter basically asking them if they wanted to do business. Their reply was something along the lines of “We’re not interested at the moment”.

For “We’re not interested at the moment” read:

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD WHO ARE YOU KIDDING?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ARE YOU FOR REAL?!?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LIKE THAT’S GONNA HAPPEN! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND YOU HAVE A P*NIS!”

Maybe one day Chyna.

God I cant wait for Jefferson Impact to debut!

Flair should host Flair in a chair, basically its Flair sitting in a chair shouting woo and blading himself over and over until his hair is more red than the Bigshows face after a 30 second squash match

Id buy that for a dollar

Love the bit about Vince!

Now have coffee coming out of my nose, so thanks Y2D2!

Not sure why but 'Money in the Ziggler' makes me laugh every time I think about it

Dr Gregory House MD wrote:Not sure why but 'Money in the Ziggler' makes me laugh every time I think about it

Would have prefered Money in the Dolph myself..

If Vince doesn't debut that gimmick one day I'll die a sad man

The Vince bit was hilarious hahaha

Loved the Vince bit too...you want to be careful though, WWE might see that and nick it. Be very suspicious if Vince gets a large bonk on the head soon..

The Flair bit made me lol at my desk at work and it was all i could do to stifle myself

I think they should have a Flair Dare's section that is a rip off of the old Duncan Dares.


Every week Ric is set a challenge which he has to complete on behalf of his chosen charity ("The Abused Ex Wives of Ric Shelter - Massachusetts Branch").

Every week, he fails but does manage to lose his clothes and blade himself somehow.