Wimps v Warriors

Based on real international players, if you were to *only* see a team sheet before taking to the pitch and not know anything about the players ... what names would have you quaking in your boots? And what names would make you feel like you were going to sweep the team off the pitch?

Let's list candidates, and after a while let's see if we can make two entire teams: wimps v warriors


Wimps:

Least Formidable:

1 John Yapp (Wales)
2
3 James Slipper (Aus)
4 Nathan Budgett (wales)
5
6 Kelly Brown (Sco) (sorry Kelly is a girl's name)
7 David Pocock (Aus)
8 Michael Owen (Wales) (lol)
9 Piri Weepu (NZ)
10
11 Nikki Walker (Sco)
12 Benoit Baby (Fra)
13 De Wet Barry (SA)
14 Cory Jane (NZ)
15 Leigh Halfpenny (Wales)

16
17
18
19
20
21
22 Topsy Ojo (Eng)

Warriors:

1 Benjamin Kayser (Fra)
2
3
4
5
6
7 Victor Vito (NZ)
8 Andy Powell (Wal)
9 Isaac Boss (Ire)
10 Phil Godman (Sco)
11 Rene Ranger (NZ)
12 Toby Flood (Eng)
13 Mathieu Bastareaud (Fra)
14 Sitiveni Sivivatu (NZ)
15 Israel Dagg (NZ)

16
17
18
19
20
21 Freddie Burns (Eng)
22 Regan King (NZ)

I found that backs, especially number 10s, tend to have much more colourful names: left out Pat Lambie, Butch James amongst others and had to stick Flood at 12.

Help me out here!

Warriors
1) Guthro Steenkamp
2) Sean Hardman
4) Vakhtang Maisuradze
5) Ockhurt Van Zyl
6) Rocky Elsom

17)Bismarck Du Plessis
18) Mako Vunipola
19) Shane Cleaver
20) Mamuka Gorgodze

Tim Payne (Eng)
Not sure what side he props, but has one of the best lastnames in the business, if only his firstname was Max...

Flood does conjure up an image of sweeping away the position but I'm sorry the name Toby wipes out his surname and puts him in the Wimps. Outside him can be Will Cup of Tea Carling.

Any Afrikaans or Polynesian or Melanesian name sounds warrior like.

Percy Montgomery should replace Halfpenny.

Michael I Lynagh sounds positively girly for the wimps.

Frank Skinner is a good prop name for the Warriors.

For Warriors like Andrew Hore at 2.

justified sinner wrote:For Warriors like Andrew Hore at 2.

I was going to put Andrew Hore in the wimp column. Also Toby Flood - how can you be a tough guy and named Toby?

For tough guys - warriors, if you like - simply populate your list with Georgians. Easy.

Schalks Burger and Brits sound like they should be in the Warriors
Martin Corry has a flinty quality to it (for non-geographers, a corrie or cirque is a basin ripped out of a mountainside by a glacier)

Felipe Contepomi at 10 for the Wimps?
Even Martin Johnson sounds kind of innocuous, but not as soft as Ben Kay

Warrior - Ronan O'Gara

red_stag wrote:Warrior - Ronan O'Gara

Wimp: Jonny Sexton.

Shoite, there'll be trouble now :run&hide:

How about Rory Best for the wimps? Or Keith Wood for the warriors?

Wimp - Courtney Laws at 4

Girls name.

Warriors - Sam Warburton, he has freaking WAR in his name, hes a warrior.

Warrior - Gerome Galleon at 9

Wimps - Danny Care at 9

IronMike wrote:Wimp - Courtney Laws at 4

Girls name.

Warriors - Sam Warburton, he has freaking WAR in his name, hes a warrior.

Warburton's is a brand of sliced bread. No.

What if we changed Toby Flood to Tobias Flood?

Keep 'em coming ..!

Wimps
Benoit Baby
Jason or Walter Little

Stirling Mortlock
A 'Little (w)Horan' is a warrior tradition and would be good for team bonding

George Harder, and Epi Taione (during the brief period when he changed his name to Paddy Power) for the Warriors. Mamuka Gorgodze needs to be in the Warriors too. His surname overcomes a dodgy first name.

Which team would you put John Eales in?

Fran Cotton and Bill Beaumont would make a fine (if deceptive) addition to the Wimps. Josh Lewsey also doesn't sound like a winner (pardon the pun)

[quote="Poorfour"]
Which team would you put John Eales in?
quote]

It might depend on what sort of pre-season he has had. The wikipage on Eels says "Eel blood is toxic to humans[6] and other mammals[7][8][9], but the cooking process destroys the toxic protein." Under-done he could be a warrior, but on a hot day with a little garlic he's Nobody to fear.

Marcus Rose as the full back for the wimps team (and in his case it didn't change opinions much if you saw him play). Alternatively, Matt Babycham (sorry, should say Perry) - named after a girly drink.

Also think Dylan Hartley sounds like a wimpy nerd's name - perhaps it's all over-compensating?

Not sure whether Daniel Grewcock quite fits in the wimps list, although you do have Pocock in there, so maybe (although of course he would have to be excluded by suspension for violent conduct).

I forgot Dean Mumm for the Wimps, although having witnessed child birth, it is an unfair selection.

Warrior - Shane Horgan, Stephen Ferris, Sterling Mortlock, Peter Stringer(gotta have the little man in there).

Wimp - Elton Flatley, Vincent Clerc.

Oz front row 2003 - Matt Dunning, Brendon Cannon, Al Baxter

Warrior Dan Lydiate anyone who comes back after breaking his kneck at 19 to play for his country has got to be classed as a warrior

Pat Lam sounds like stroking a sheep......

Inga the winga sounds like a conan character....

David Duckham sounds quite wet...

Loki Crighton sounds like a norse god....until you hear his second name...

Zinzan Brooke sounds tough...until you bring in the Valentine part

and ...Wade Dooley???

Surprised nobody has mentioned Joe Rokocoko, Tony Woodcock or Danny Grewcock for the Warriors yet