Random Thoughts.....

The following ‘Random Thoughts’ is brought to you in association with Zack Ryder’s wheelchair - clearly a rip-off of the greatest gimmick of all time. Flair in a Chair it ain’t. Stick to the internetz Zack, you’re not fit to lace Ric Flair’s sports jacket.


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So Sheamus won the Royal Rumble, guaranteeing himself a shot at a World title on the grandest stage of them all – Bragging Rights.......sorry, Wrestlemania. There’s a rumour going around that Sheamus was given the win because too many people had predicted that Chris Jericho was going to be the last man standing.

I don’t mind that Sheamus won it – although as things stand it’s hard to see if there’s anyone he could go up against in a one-on-one match at Wrestlemania – but I hate the fact that there’s a possibility he may only have won it because Chris Jericho winning was too ‘obvious’. If WWE had that kind of attitude back in the day Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold Steve Austin wouldn’t have won the Rumbles in 1996 & 1998 respectively, it would have been Head Hunter #2 and Tom Brandi.

Just because you know what’s going to happen doesn’t mean it can’t be entertaining. I mean if WWE produced a James Bond film, they’d change it up from the standard fare of Bond driving fast cars, using cool gadgets, saving the world, defeating the bad guy (not Razor Ramon) and getting the girl. In WWE’s version Bond would drive a Proton, Q wouldn’t have any gadgets for 007 to use, the girl would run off with M, the bad guy would kill Bond and the world would implode.

WWE = Eejits.


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As for the Royal Rumble itself, remember back in 2007 when WWE were harping on that it was the most star studded Rumble ever? Well, the 2012 version will probably be referred to as the LEAST star studded Rumble ever.

Did they really need to give 3 of the spots to Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and Booker T? Was Hacksaw Jim Duggan the best they could do on the ‘Legend’ front? And why oh why did they have the Big Show at number 30? There are numerous wrestlers that could have added to the match if they’d gone in as the last man – Yoshi Tatsu, CM Punk, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, John Cena, Kane, the Undertaker or Triple H at a push, Jefferson Impact – but instead they wasted the prime spot on the Fat Show.

I wish to Jebus that Kharma had nailed the Big Slow with the Implant Buster. That would have saved the whole damn Rumble.


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The Undertaker made his long awaited return on RAW this week and challenged Triple H to a match at Wrestlemania 28. I wonder how they’ll build this one up? Last year the Game-uhh buried the entire roster by saying that the only thing left for him to do was end the Streak.

Knowing how WWE tends to operate Taker’s going to say that he came back to do the one thing that he’s never managed to do – defeat HHH at Wrestlemania.

What’s that? 17 and 27? I don’t know what you’re talking about. They’re just random numbers that have no relevance whatsoever to Wrestlemania, the Undertaker or Triple H. Good day to you sir.

I SAID GOOD DAY!!


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To be fair, Triple H’s actions suggested he wasn’t too keen on the idea of squaring off with ‘The Phenom’, patting him on the shoulder and walking away. Taker looked a bit forlorn afterwards, which I reckon would make for a great storyline.

Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

It could get to the point where Taker’s walking around backstage, challenging the ring crew to a match at Wrestlemania by looking at a Wrestlemania 28 poster and doing the whole throat slash gesture thing, each time with a more and more desperate look in his eyes, like “PLEEEEEEASE have a match with me!”

That would be gold.


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Speaking of the Deadman, speculation is rampant as to why he was sporting a bit of a Bobby Roode style wet perm. I can exclusively reveal that he was wearing a wig, due to the fact that he contracted AIDS from kicking out of 3 Pedigrees at Wrestlemania 27.

Know who the last guy to kick out of 3 Pedigrees was?

Freddie Mercury.


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Chris Jericho interrupted the ‘Best in the World’ match between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan Danielson on RAW. So it looks as if the heavily rumoured Punk v Jericho match at Wrestlemania 28 has been set in motion. Unless of course WWE decide that it’s all a bit too ‘obvious’ and go with Punk versus Kurrgan and Jericho up against Freddie Joe Floyd.

The Rock / John Cena match has also been changed, due to the fact that far too many people are expecting it to happen. So now we’re looking at John Cena squaring off against Master P’s No Limit Soldiers and the Rock taking on the ECW Zombie.

Actually, that’s a hell of a card.


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Randy Orton came back – they thought he was a goner – to Smackdown this past week. Unfortunately, he returned with the same tired, old Viper / Apex Predator gimmick which means that he will never amount to anything. WWE need to act fast and repackage Orton because he’s got some potential and could conceivably win a singles title by 2013 with the right gimmick.

WWE need to go to the vault and pull something out that will fit young Randall. Maybe Randy ‘The Dumpster’ Orton? Reverend Randy? Dress him up as a woman and call him the ‘9th Wonder of the World’?

Or if all else fails they can rename him Justin Pattinson and have him the form ‘The New New Rockers’ with Marty Jannetty.


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Natalya suffered the indignity of ‘breaking wind’ on Smackdown, before being pinned by Aksana in a 3 second match.

Did she sh*t in Vince’s coffee or something?


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Word is that Evan Bourne is being sorely missed in the WWE locker room, and that everyone – well except maybe Kofi Kingston - hopes he’s able to return to the company following his 60 day suspension.

Now I know what you’re thinking: why would anyone miss Evan Bourne? Is it his electrifying charisma? His breathtaking conversational skills? Or is it because he’s everybody’s supplier?

I’m going with the charisma thing.


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Kelly Kelly has been ordered to attend a ‘defensive driving school’ – defensive driving? WTF?! – because she’s been stopped numerous times for running through red lights. Does that mean she was stopping at green lights? I like to think it does.

Never has the name ‘Barbie Blank’ seemed more appropriate. “Red means go and green means stop, right?”


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(Jefferson) Impact opened up this week with a Pier Six (where’s Pier Six?) brawl involving Jeff Hardy, Bully Ray, Bobby Roode, James Storm and a double-denim clad Sting. They brawled around the backstage area, and then they brawled in the ring. This went on for about 2 hours in total and the undoubted highlight of the whole thing was Sting nearly losing his baseball bat as he tried to calm down the fracas in the ring.

My question is: Where the f**k were D-Lo Brown? and Al Snow to break up the brawls? Huh? HUH?! Have they been released along with MVP?


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The AJ Styles / Christopher Daniels / Kazarian love triangle continued this week. I don’t really give a flying twiglet about why Kazarian is under Daniels’ command (my guess is Chris is holding Traci Brooks’ melons hostage) I just wish they’d get it over and done with and start having some matches.

Gotta admit though when Daniels was harping on about AJ always whining when something doesn’t go his way I thought to myself “Dude’s got a point”.


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Matt Morgan defeated Samoa Joe this past week on (Jefferson) Impact with a clothesline. A f**king clothesline! The old Joe would have laughed in the face of Matt Morgan’s clothesline then kicked him in the head (Matt Morgan getting kicked in the head = Ratings + Funny).

When Joe first came to TNA, he wasn’t exactly an Adonis but you could overlook that because he was a total badass. Now when you see him, you just think “Fat guy in shorts”.

Joe needs to rediscover the fire he once had, rather than rediscover the free buffet at every TV taping.


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I think that Eric Young and ODB are pretty funny together – although EY could do with cutting down on his stalling at the start of every match before it becomes overkill – so I’m just waiting for TNA to nonsensically turn one of them heel.

It’ll most likely happen after they decide to get married on an episode of (Jefferson) Impact, during the middle of the ceremony. I’m calling it right now: Angelina Love will come tottering out and claim she’s pregnant.

With ODB’s child.


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Tara’s the number 1 contender to the TNA Knockouts title after her win over Mickie James and Velvet Sky. Gail Kim cut an incredibly bad promo to the camera afterwards, saying extremely face-like things despite supposably (“Did he just say ‘supposably’?”) being a mega-heel.

As for Tara, she’s strange in that at times she looks really hot but at others she looks like her face has melted. I think TNA should give her Kane’s original storyline of being burned in a fire and having to wear a mask. That way when it finally comes time for her to unmask it’ll look like she actually did have her face melted in a fire, rather than just a couple of accidents with her mascara and a Remington.

“THROUGH HELLFIRE & BRIMSTONE, HERE COMES TARA!”


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According to Hulk Hogan, Dixie Carter is quite happy to let Ric Flair attend this year’s WWE Hall of Fame ceremony to be inducted alongside the Four Horsemen. Does that mean he’ll get to wear 2 HOF rings?

I can see this leading to all sorts of problems in the future, because not only will wrestlers be chasing Flair’s record of 16 (or 18) World titles, they’ll also be chasing his record of Hall of Fame rings. Will Flair get a third if Evolution go into the Hall of Fame? Will Shawn Michaels be given another two rings if Degeneration X and the Rockers get inducted? Will Abyss be able to ‘summon power’ from everybody’s Hall of Fame rings again?

Where will the madness end?!?!


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Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

The only way this could be better is if they add the Hulk closing theme as the opponent walks up the ramp, not looking back.

That was worth reading purely for this -


Know who the last guy to kick out of 3 Pedigrees was?

Freddie Mercury.[i]

Having a bad day and this made me smile! Thank you Y2D2

Adam D wrote:

Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

The only way this could be better is if they add the Hulk closing theme as the opponent walks up the ramp, not looking back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rccD1EWenio&feature=related

To be fair, Triple H’s actions suggested he wasn’t too keen on the idea of squaring off with ‘The Phenom’, patting him on the shoulder and walking away. Taker looked a bit forlorn afterwards, which I reckon would make for a great storyline.

Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

It could get to the point where Taker’s walking around backstage, challenging the ring crew to a match at Wrestlemania by looking at a Wrestlemania 28 poster and doing the whole throat slash gesture thing, each time with a more and more desperate look in his eyes, like “PLEEEEEEASE have a match with me!”

You ever wish you didn't read something?

If this doesn't happen Wrestling will never be as good ever again

When Joe first came to TNA, he wasn’t exactly an Adonis but you could overlook that because he was a total badass. Now when you see him, you just think “Fat guy in shorts”.

Joe needs to rediscover the fire he once had, rather than rediscover the free buffet at every TV taping.

i proper LOL'd at this, but has an element of realism that it actually might be true

Adam D wrote:

Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

The only way this could be better is if they add the Hulk closing theme as the opponent walks up the ramp, not looking back.

That would be friggin' epic!


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I Blame Coco wrote:That was worth reading purely for this -


Know who the last guy to kick out of 3 Pedigrees was?

Freddie Mercury.[i]

Couldn't believe it myself when I read it Coco, it's been verified by Dave Meltzer though.


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Miz NG wrote:Having a bad day and this made me smile! Thank you Y2D2

You're very welcome NG. I'm glad it put a smile on your face, and I hope your day picked up after it. Random Thoughts is like the Make a Wish Foundation, only without all those sick kids.


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the-gaffer wrote:

To be fair, Triple H’s actions suggested he wasn’t too keen on the idea of squaring off with ‘The Phenom’, patting him on the shoulder and walking away. Taker looked a bit forlorn afterwards, which I reckon would make for a great storyline.

Every week when there’s someone standing in the ring, the Undertaker could come out, look at the Wrestlemania 28 sign and do the throat slash gesture, challenging them to a match at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All. Then they could just look at Taker, shake their head like “Nah, you’re alright mate” before walking off and leaving a sad little Undertaker in the ring all by himself.

It could get to the point where Taker’s walking around backstage, challenging the ring crew to a match at Wrestlemania by looking at a Wrestlemania 28 poster and doing the whole throat slash gesture thing, each time with a more and more desperate look in his eyes, like “PLEEEEEEASE have a match with me!”

You ever wish you didn't read something?

If this doesn't happen Wrestling will never be as good ever again

At least until Jefferson Impact debuts gaffer!


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MetalMotty wrote:

When Joe first came to TNA, he wasn’t exactly an Adonis but you could overlook that because he was a total badass. Now when you see him, you just think “Fat guy in shorts”.

Joe needs to rediscover the fire he once had, rather than rediscover the free buffet at every TV taping.

i proper LOL'd at this, but has an element of realism that it actually might be true

Maybe these Random Thoughts threads aren't as random as they first seem to appear eh Motty?

Jefferson Impact's debut has been put back more times than Broduc Clay, I'm wondering what kind of funky gimmick he might get