Who's making breakfast?

Try and guess who is making breakfast.

Number 1:

“Well, obviously I’m very disappointed with the way the toast turned out.

Basically, my strategy of staying well back from the grill pan didn’t have its intended effect. The bread was slightly singed at the top of the slice but pale and cold at the bottom. Most of the eggs ended up on the backsplash but a couple of them went in so I’m happy enough at this stage.”

“Obviously I need to work on the mental aspect of breakfast and remember to think clearly when handling the big pots. Coach was doing the bacon and he seems to have brought a lot of it in, so, obviously we’ll see how the rest of the meal pans out.”

Spoiler:

Number 2:

"obviously I'm feeling great to be making toast, you know, I mean I've made so much toast over the years, more than I ever expected, and I'm still really enjoying making the bacon and eggs as well. We've been working on a few things but the main thing is that I'm feeling great about breakfast. I hope this is a good one and for sure I'm expecting to be making breakfast for a long time."

"I think people like to see breakfast turn up before lunch so, you know, I think that's a good thing and I'd like to see breakfast kept in the morning. It's kind of a tradition I'd like to see kept"

Spoiler:

Forget about breakfast, I need a pillow to scream into....

Novak Djokovic won $660,000 for winning the men's title; Radwanska won $712,000.

Number 3:

"I'm trying to make an omelette but my dad keeps interfering and he won't shut up. Can you please ask him to get out of the kitchen? Oh, and if that Hewitt comes along trying to get involved tell him he can clear off too. I've tried his bacon omelettes before and they're not good enough. I'm not cooking with him. But if he asks why, tell him I've got bird flu or something and I don't want to infect him. He'll believe that. Thanks"

Spoiler:

I had this for number 2:

“Um, well, I started breakfast off very strongly, at a very high level, I thought, you know.”

“I made my English muffins from scratch and made an unbelievable hollandaise sauce with one hand while lightly sautéing some spinach with the other. The next passage of cooking is a bit of a whirl you know and um, I can’t say for sure what happened next or how I ended up with jugged kippers instead of eggs benedict florentine – I suppose the kipper was the better fish on the day and hope to be back making breakfast tomorrow and for many more days to come.”

Spoiler:

Number 4:

“Well, breakfast is the most important meal of the history so I knew it would be very very difficult today and I would have to give one hundred and twenty five percent.”

“At the start I feel not so good but I keep running and eventually get the eggs in the frying pan, no? I show one side of the bread to the fire and again and again until it was done. My team says one side of it was burnt and one side not cooked, but this is not important. Also, the beans were unbelievable. Finally I want to thank all of the fans.”

Spoiler:

Number 5 - was going to be 3, but just seen Danny's post!

Sometimes it gets a bit hot in the kitchen, but you know what they say about being able to take the heat?

I'm a pancake type of guy and I'm pretty good at flipping those things and hooking them with my pan even when they threaten to fly off out of reach.

Recently I've progressed to five course dinners a deux - I serve up a mean pudding too. Well you know the thing about breakfast is that it may be the best meal of the day, but it's just over so quickly the majority of the time.

Isn't it an indictment of the game that we have little idea how anyone else in the top 10 might make breakfast?

Please can we not get into a weak breakfast debate...

Number 6:

"I got angry at my breakfast, the way I fried my eggs. I made stupid mistakes and I couldn’t make toast, and someone hid the bacon! It got on my nerves, so I didn’t like this moment."

"The eggs were like, oh, a pain in the ass, a real pain in the ass."

"At the end of the day, it gets on my nerves. I think I’m going to flip the egg. I’m going to flip it. And, oh, like it’s a rotten egg again. It pisses me off. I can’t cook anything!"

Spoiler:

Number ??

Again, again, again, like the same what was happen last time in kitchen. Have chance [to make good breakfast] and I didn't realize, and I lost.
Today, I don't know, it was complete different. I have good confidence in beginning and make well first toast. Second toast, I have so many chance to better, make break eggs. I think it's just one bad egg. I don't know what's happened there, like after three eggs and the second toast.
I can do this breakfast, and for sure after this one, if I have four eggs, I have chance to wind, like 99% chance wind second toast. But change something, like two toasts, and I lost then everything. Just I cannot come back losing so many eggs. Like up eggs on the ceiling, and, you know, already 1-egg, and really I don't know what's can happen.
Like say matches, okay, five-egg sandwiches. But it's was already was in the second breakfast. I lost second and third eggs, and so easy. I cannot explain yet what's happen.

Spoiler:

Number 8

"I don't know what happened. Every thing looked fine. I checked the egg box and there were six eggs inside. I checked the bacon pack and there were six rashers. There was plenty of bread in the bread bin. I counted the slices. There were 15 slices of bread which makes half a loaf. There was plenty of butter. Everything looked good. I was expecting to serve up a good breakfast.

Then I came down this morning and opened up the egg box and there were no eggs, the bacon was missing and there were only crumbs in the breadbin. It's all a bit of a mystery to me."

hahahah, good series guys, Reckoner thanks for opening a funny thread like this.

invisiblecoolers wrote:hahahah, good series guys, Reckoner thanks for opening a funny thread like this.

no worries!

"At the start my breakfast was pretty close to Novak's and the toast could have gone either way. But then I started to feel some pain in my spreading hand and Novak's breakfast-making went up a level and the end of breakfast was difficult for me.

But Novak's breakfasts are incredible and they really do something great for Serbia. Hopefully he'll make me one when we next go on holiday."

Spoiler:

HM Murdoch wrote:"At the start my breakfast was pretty close to Novak's and the toast could have gone either way. But then I started to feel some pain in my spreading hand and Novak's breakfast-making went up a level and the end of breakfast was difficult for.

But Novak's breakfasts are incredible and they really do something great for Serbia. Hopefully he'll make me one when we next go on holiday."

Nice! Is that the same as Number 1?

Number 9:

" How the ~@%& can you use a $%**£ wok to make @#~# breakfast!"

Spoiler:

Number 10:

"I embrace the quiet way and I walked the high road as best as I could” (sniff)

“Above all, I wanted to make bacon and eggs for myself, my family, and the art of making breakfast itself in a way in which we could all be proud.” (sob)

So as I take my place among the greatest grillers of tomatoes of all time here in the Hall of Fame, I stand before you both humble and grateful.”(sniiiiff)

I poach eggs and fry bacon - nothing more and nothing less. It's more than enough for me (sob, pause to gather thoughts), it always has been, I thank you" (hanky)

Spoiler:

reckoner wrote:

HM Murdoch wrote:"At the start my breakfast was pretty close to Novak's and the toast could have gone either way. But then I started to feel some pain in my spreading hand and Novak's breakfast-making went up a level and the end of breakfast was difficult for.

But Novak's breakfasts are incredible and they really do something great for Serbia. Hopefully he'll make me one when we next go on holiday."

Nice! Is that the same as Number 1?

Not unless I've drawn the wrong conclusion from number 1!

HM Murdoch wrote:

reckoner wrote:

HM Murdoch wrote:"At the start my breakfast was pretty close to Novak's and the toast could have gone either way. But then I started to feel some pain in my spreading hand and Novak's breakfast-making went up a level and the end of breakfast was difficult for.

But Novak's breakfasts are incredible and they really do something great for Serbia. Hopefully he'll make me one when we next go on holiday."

Nice! Is that the same as Number 1?

Not unless I've drawn the wrong conclusion from number 1!

Ah ok,... hmmmm.

"It looked like I was about to make a brilliant egg but when I tried to taste it, it made me choke. Ended up looking like a Spanish Omelette."

Spoiler:

Number 11 (?)

"That was a great breakfast. When's lunch?"

Guys, please expand... one line isn't enough for me to guess who's having breakfast!

JuliusHMarx wrote:Number 11 (?)

"That was a great breakfast. When's lunch?"

Nalbandian?

HM Murdoch wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Number 11 (?)

"That was a great breakfast. When's lunch?"

Nalbandian?

HM Murdoch wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Number 11 (?)

"That was a great breakfast. When's lunch?"

Nalbandian?

Yep!

Number 12:

I look at Simone and the thousands of young people she represents, and I say under my breath, “thank you, grapefruits.” I look at my wife and my children who I live for, and I say, “thank you, huevos rancheros.” I look to the future, my efforts to build high performing charter schools in inner cities across the U.S., schools that will impact tens of thousands of Simones, and I say, “thank you, scrambled eggs, for making that possible.

I fell in love with breakfast far too late in my life, but the reason that I have everything that I hold dear is because of how much breakfast has loved me back. I’m thrilled, humbled, quite terrified to be honest to stand in front of you right now. I’ve felt vulnerable on the kitchen floor many times but not quite like today. I’ve grown up in front of you. You’ve seen my highs, my lows. We’ve laughed together, we’ve cried together. But what is so clear to me standing here today is that you have given me compassion, understanding, love, marmite, more than I expected, many times more than I deserved.

Breakfast has not only given me much, it has taught me much. It’s no accident that breakfast uses the language of life: eggs, bacon, nutella, jam, marmalade; the lessons of breakfast are the lessons of maturity. In breakfast you prepare and you prepare, and then one day your preparation seems futile; nothing is working, and your coffee goes cold. So you improvise. In breakfast you learn what I do instantly affects what you do and vice versa. Breakfast makes you perceptive, proactive, reactive all at the same time. Breakfast teaches you the subtlety of human interaction, the curse and blessing of cause and effect.

After you make breakfast for a living, you never forget that we are all connected, and there’s nothing quite like a bacon sandwich dripping with brown sauce that teaches you the concept of high risk, high reward. Breakfast teaches you there’s no such thing as perfect. You want to be perfect, you hope to be perfect, then you’re out there and you’re far less than perfect. And you realize, I don’t really have to be perfect today, I just have to be better than corn flakes. It’s true. All you guys in burger vans remember that, okay?

One of the most influential people in my life I met only one time. It was the most vulnerable time, a time that I needed direction and inspiration, and just then, there I was, shaking hands with Nelson Mandela. He took my hand, complimented my pain au chocolat, and in the same breath told me the reason why we have been put here on earth. I can still close my eyes and hear his words of wisdom from that evening. He said, “We must be careful in our decisions, careful in our words, and we must be careful in our relationships. We must turn our sausages carefully.” Once you hear those words from Nelson Mandela, you can never un hear them.

Even when life’s challenges weigh us down, make us unrecognizable to ourselves, we can always begin again. There’s always time to make toast. It’s not too late to be inspired. It’s not too late to change. It’s not too late to put the kettle on.

So thank you, breakfast, for my life. Thank you, breakfast, for my wife. And thank you, breakfast, for enabling me to find my life’s work.

Spoiler:

Number 13.

"I am sorry but it was not possible although I would have liked not to have disappoint my breakfast people but the breakfast is suffering too much. So I had to cancel my breakfast for today and it gives me much pain the state of my black pudding. I will go later this week to the special organic Farm to get the calf's blood from my good friend the Farmer Fuentes. For sure I will be serving up a very good breakfast in two weeks time."

Nore Staat wrote:Number 13.

"I am sorry but it was not possible although I would have liked not to have disappoint my breakfast people but the breakfast is suffering too much. So I had to cancel my breakfast for today and it gives me much pain the state of my black pudding. I will go later this week to the special organic Farm to get the calf's blood from my good friend the Farmer Fuentes. For sure I will be serving up a very good breakfast in two weeks time."

"the state of my black pudding" LOL

11 A]

HM Murdoch wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Number 11 (?)

"That was a great breakfast. When's lunch?"

Nalbandian?

Well Nalbandian bakes his cookies for breakfast and now Murray has learned that art successfully

Number 14:

"You know what, it’s been... In the history of breakfasts, everybody’s an underachiever. Everybody. Every single person is an underachiever."

"Agassi should have been making, I don’t know, 15 waffles. Sampras should have been making 20 hash browns. Federer should be cooking banana crepes... already should have 25. Rios at least five."

"So you know what I’m saying. It’s like everybody’s underachiever. Everybody could do better."

Spoiler:

Number 15:

“Well, you know, breakfast used to be a chore for me.”

“I’d wake up, get down the stairs and stick the kettle on. The switch doesn’t always click on the first go so I’d find myself clicking it over and over and over again until it worked. Sometimes I’d be there clicking away 30, 40 times!”

“I’d get some eggs and bacon on the go and put some toast on, but then the strangest sensation would come over me.”

“The world would swim before my eyes and I’d have to steady myself on the counter. Sometimes I’d get the beans on, as often as not they’d end up on the floor. I’d end up going back up to bed or eating a bagel or whatever else was around.”

“Three years of terrible breakfasts later I went to see a doctor. And now?”

“Well, no toast for starters! Also I feel a sharp pang of sympathy when I crack an egg open. Other than that, it’s been the breakfast of champions for me, all day every day! Life’s not quite perfect though - I still need a new kettle…”

Spoiler:

That was Marat Safinski (number 14). Can't remember the source though.

ok, added answers! if you've added clues to this thread please consider adding your answer too. I've PM'd some instructions which may help. thanks!