Why is rugby important to you?

by **Biltong** Tue 15 May 2012, 8:24 am

When my son was born, my first natural reaction should have been to check whether he had all his toes and fingers, whether he was normal. Unfortunately at my son’s birth there were complications.

My wife wanted to give natural birth, and because we struggled to have children it took a number of years before she fell pregnant. So when the news came in December of 2002 that there is a little baby on the way, being at the mature age of 38, it was something I had almost written off as a “nice to have”, so the news was more a sense of relief than excitement.

Because my wife was 34 at the time, the gynecologist wanted her to look after herself so we ensured that she had a fairly uneventful pregnancy. Perhaps it was too uneventful as my son decided not to arrive on the due date. The doctor told us to come in the next Monday for induction if things didn’t progress naturally.

So the weekend came and went and Monday morning we set off to the hospital where my wife was put in a hot tub and we waited.

Things didn’t go according to plan so eventually the doctor decided they would do a caesarean section. Well when my boy came out it was immediately apparent that something was wrong, due to the fact that my wife went over her time, the amniotic fluid had reduced to such an extent that it wasn’t filtering anymore, so dirt collected in his lungs, which when he took his first breath burst some of the vessels and his right lung collapsed.

Whilst the doctors rushed him off to ICU, we could only wonder what had happened. To cut a long story short, on the fifth day we were allowed to hold him for the first time and at 8 days we took him home.

He still has scars on his right side from the procedures they did. But thank God he is healthy now and there is no permanent damage or effects.

When I found out my wife was pregnant my first thought was I would like to have a boy, when we found out, my next thought was, he could be ugly as long as he had a keen mind, as intellect was highest on my list of orders.

So I was very fortunate to get not only my boy, but a strapping young lad, with enough wit to outlast his mother on any given day and twice on Sundays.

Fast forward to age six.
Like any South African father I wanted my boy to play rugby, so at age six, I took him to the Cubs rugby in the hope that he would instantly fall in love with the game, Japie Mulder the world cup winning center of 1995 had enrolled his son in the same school as mine, so seeing him there was a confirmation that this is the right thing to do.

Unfortunately cubs rugby wasn’t for him, the idea that 30 boys ran after a ball in one rolling maul wasn’t his idea of fun, so he told me he didn’t like rugby.

Now that is probably the most disappointing and hurtful thing a South African boy can tell his father. At birth we dream of our boys scoring glorious tries in a springbok jumper, we live for the moment our boys will run onto the field for their first games, we want to live our lives vicariously through them, we want to will every meter they run with the ball and be there to see the smile on their faces when they succeed. We want to be there when they lose their first match so that we can tell them everything will be OK. I am sure you get it, as an Afrikaner there simply doesn’t exist a sport outside of rugby.

It was hard for me to swallow the fact that my boy didn’t want to play rugby, the first thought that comes to mind is how are you going to ensure he doesn’t become a sissy, how are you going to prevent him from being bullied, how will he become a confident young man, if rugby isn’t there to lead the way?

Anyhow, beginning of the rugby season (their first season of real 15 man rugby), my son comes to me with a permission slip, it is a notification that trials will be held at the school the next day.

For me it was a shock, because I had no time to prep him, there was no going over the laws, no advice on technique etc.

So he had to go at it cold, stone cold. After the first day of trials he got called back so at the end of the second day of trials, we had to now wait in anticipation the see whether he made the team or not.

He made the team, he has now played a number of games at loose head prop (like his old man) and hooker. This week they are playing their second league match and on Saturday there is a rugby festival in Rustenburg, where they will be playing two more games.

He is a scrumming machine, week before last he was scrumming against a boy much bigger than him, and he bent him sideways. Last week he got a knock on his head when the scrum collapsed, and had to go off injured. Whilst we were sitting on the sideline waiting for him to go back on I told him in no uncertain terms “I don’t care if your opponent goes sideways, up or down, but you keep straight and you scrum the daylights out of him”. He did go back on in the second half and once again bent his opponent in every scrum, doing exactly what the old man told him, keep straight, scrum and don’t ever hold back.

He is only 8 now, I don’t know whether he will become a Springbok, I don’t even know if he will continue to play, but when I asked him why he is playing his answer to me was this.

“I don’t want to break your heart, and I want to make you proud of me”

I am still not sure if he loves the game yet, but here’s to hoping he does.

Perhaps this story will provide you insight into what rugby means to me.

by **rodders** Tue 15 May 2012, 9:00 am

Lovely story Biltong

by chewed_mintie Tue 15 May 2012, 9:23 am

Biltong, what a great way to stir up the old emotions!

Rugby has taken on a new meaning to me since my first boy was born 7 years ago. I scaled back my first team commitments a couple of years ago when I started my professional accountancy exams but my son, since he was brought down to watch me at two weeks old has had the bug ever since. As a kiwi living in exile (Cheshire) it is extremely hard to swim against the football tide but to my joy, my son absolutely LOVES Rugby. He likes football and other sports but he LOVES rugby. On top of this, he’s half English by birth and has lived here all his life but he is a kiwi kid through and through. He loves the All Blacks, the Hurricanes were his favourite team until a couple of weeks ago when the Crusaders beat them (the lure of having Carter and McCaw in your team was too much).

He’s been playing 2 years now and I coach his team. Sadly, they can’t play contact until the age of 9 so he’s stuck playing tag rugby which he enjoys, but in the backyard it’s “Dad, teach me to tackle” or “Dad, let’s do a scrum!” sort of thing. He has no fear, he’ll run at me at full speed and I will have to get out of the way or absorb him as he doesn’t realise I could hurt him if I tackle him when he is running full tilt. He’s scored so many tries this season I’ve lost count.

I put up some posts in the backyard so he could practice goal kicking and he can kick them from all over the place!

I want my son to do well, but I’m not going to push him hard like some fathers do. If he wants to play Rugby then I will encourage him along the way, a gentle nudge here and there. If he wants to drop it and do something else, I’m fine with that. But the joy I get from seeing his beaming smile as he runs away for another try is something completely out of this world and I just hope it never ends.

Rugby used to be my life, I tried to make a career out of it but I didn't quite make it. It did give me a wonderful opportunity to travel though, and that has led me to the life I now have.

by offload Tue 15 May 2012, 9:28 am

Biltong, I understand completely.

My daughter is the same age as your son and I'm about your age. She has been watching rugby with me pretty much since she was born. Last year she was given options for various after school clubs and with no prompting from her parents, she was the only girl who turned up for rugby. When the teacher asked why she was there she said "because rugby is the best game in the world and girls can play it too".

Magic !

by MonkeyOwain12 Tue 15 May 2012, 10:56 am

Why it's important to me is tough to put down to be honest...

The rugby club environment in South Wales is probably what endeared it to me in the first place...and then of course having my Dad take me to watch Swansea as well as our local club. Didn't really realise at the time that my Dad was coaching at the club.

I begged him to start an under 8's team so that I could play with my mates...

Since then, I've played to a high level, took an academic interest in sport and physiology and sociology due to rugby. I've studied at Uni, become a PE teacher, travelled across the globe to play, now coaching in Australia with a view for some more...

It's been a very real and important thing in my life...I don't know how I'd cope with success/failure/team ethic/ social situations if it wasn't for my involvement in the game...and I'm still only 27...

Why is it important to me? Easy...friends, skills, travel, enjoyment, inclusiveness, banter, working outdoors...

by bluestonevedder Tue 15 May 2012, 1:12 pm

Great story

by HERSH Tue 15 May 2012, 1:44 pm

To some this may be a shock but I’ve always found winding people up to be rather humorous and I’ve always been competitive whilst playing sport, having played a wide range of sports whilst at a non rugby playing school and having been banned from most of them at some point one day one of my teachers suggested I went down to my local rugby club to vent some of my aggression.

I’ve never looked back since, rugby allowed me to openly wind-up the opposition and I was patted on the back for doing so by my team mates and coaches although sometimes the Ref didn’t see the funny side.

Rugby has also provided me with a great career and allowed me to travel and make life long friends.

Here’s to rugby the greatest sport in the world Bubbly

, apart from last years world cup and this years HC. Very Happy

by **Biltong** Tue 15 May 2012, 1:49 pm

You wind people up? Shocked

You must be joking, you're always so polite, diplomatic and rarely if ever go of topic. Erm

by Guest Tue 15 May 2012, 2:27 pm

Some great stories on here.

It's difficult for me to put into words what rugby means to me or why it's important but I'll keep thinking on it, and hopefully come up with something coherantly written later Smile

by mr_stonelea Tue 15 May 2012, 2:37 pm

Well unlike you Bilton I have 2 daughters, who don't play rugby, absolutely adore the sport and adorn their bedroom walls with rugby posters.

But your story prompts me to tell the story of a lad I knew at school. He was from a rough background and had no knowledge of rugby in his early teens. He was a trouble maker and probably troubled future ahead of him.

And me, rugby-mad in a school which hardly played rugby. As captain I had to cajole lads around me to play. This particular lad was a huge, athletic lad, and I got him to play for us and he was quite a player.

I then introduced him to my clubside, playing first youth rugby and then seniors. The thing about being part of a rugby club, means that you get to mix with plenty of 'influential' people - doctors, chief inspectors of police, military policemen etc. The sort of people who this lad would never meet in normal life.

Anyway, on leaving school, he got a job with a bloke from the rugby club who owned a building company. Now he's 42, with his own building firm and still playing.

The point of the story is...a rugby club is the perfect place for a young lad to grow up in. I don't know where this lad would have ended up, had I not introduced him to rugby....but I'm proud that I did introduce him to the game because it made his life.

by **Biltong** Tue 15 May 2012, 2:49 pm

I like that mr stonelea. I don't knw if you know much about Ashwin Willemse, member of the 2007 world cup springbok squad.

He has a stroy similar to the one you told, came from a rough background, I'll see if I can find his story.

From zero, to world cup winner under Jae white, now he comments on supersport and has been appointed our ambassador for the JWC to be held in SA this year.

Rugby transitions all.

by **Biltong** Tue 15 May 2012, 2:55 pm

The story of Ashwin Willemse, courtesy of Sports illustrated.

At first glance, Ashwin Willemse shows little of his past. In his green and gold jersey, he looks like a Springbok rugby player. But closer inspection reveals clues to his troubled past — the tattoos on his forearms, the gold tooth.

It’s no secret that gangsterism played a part in his youth. To date his story has been depicted as a typical ‘ghetto kid makes good’ tale, but now in the first-ever genuinely in-depth public revelations Willemse makes about his troubled past a story far more profound than that is revealed.

In an interview with Mike Behr for SA Sports Illustrated, Willemse opens up like never before, speaking honestly about his stint as a gangster, his drug use and an attempted teenage suicide.

Willemse remembers his childhood as a painful, bitter experience. Painful because he grew up never knowing his biological father, bitter because he struggled to come to terms with being poor.

There are boys who cope without fathers. But there are also those who turn self-destructive. Willemse was one of the latter. In primary school he began filling his emotional void with petty theft: “I can’t remember the first thing I stole. All I know is I stole a lot of stuff.”

By the time Willemse hit high school, stealing was as second nature as playing rugby. By Grade 9 he was into housebreaking, and by the following year he was a gangster in the making.

“Gang life was always there,” he explains. “It was part and parcel of growing up. It was in my face the whole time. There was always the temptation of the good life. Eventually gangsters become role models because they have achieved something.”

By the age of 16, Willemse felt so bad about himself that he decided to kill himself. He admitted to SA Sports Illustrated that he’s never talked about his suicide attempt before.

“I wasn’t happy,” he reveals. “All that pain and hatred was killing me inside. All that wanting to fit in and feeling like an outsider built up and up until it broke me down.”

Going back to school and facing the shame and humiliation was one of Willemse’s toughest times. “The worst part of suicide was that I didn’t die. I don’t wish that on any man. It was the worst thing ever. That’s what cracked me up. That’s when I thought, Flip all this, I don’t care what anyone thinks.”

More angry and bitter than ever before, Willemse hooked up with a notorious Cape Flats gang and plunged headlong into a life of hard crime and drug addiction.

“I did a whole lot of Poopie,” he says, preferring to leave it up to the reader’s imagination rather than provide gratuitous, headline-grabbing detail.

“The worst Poopie you can think of, I’ve done it. I just went straight to business. If you think of something I would do it. If you think go there, I was first to go.”

But Willemse was leading a double life – that of a gangster and that of a budding rugby player. Craven Week 1999 had a huge impact on Willemse. “It was the first time I’d ever been in a provincial team,” he recalls. “And it was an eye-opener. I suddenly realised, Flip, you can make a living out of this and get self-respect and self-esteem. All those things I was getting as a gangster I could get as a rugby player.”

On the strength of Willemse’s Craven Week performances, then-Boland coach Rudy Joubert invited the promising 18-year-old to join his training camp at the end of 1999. An invitation to join the Boland Academy followed shortly afterwards and Willemse moved away from Caledon and its gangs into Jack Abrahams House in Wellington.

As promising as he was, though, a contract didn’t fall into Willemse’s lap. It took Chester Williams, in the SA Sevens set-up, and Jake White, at under-21 level, to help him become the player he is today — South Africa’s top performer at Rugby World Cup 2003.

Willemse’s amazing transformation is an inspiration to all and gives kudos to the South African rugby community. “As much as it is a sorely-needed demonstration of the value of transformation through rugby, it is a feel-good account of broader transformation in a human being,” says Rob Houwing, SA Sports Illustrated editor.

Willemse doesn’t want his lessons to go to waste. “I want to inspire young kids. I want to visit schools and let them know that no matter how bad they’re feeling there’s always hope… that when they’re feeling like there’s no way out they must sit still and think of it this way: that Ashwin Willemse, who is a Bok today, also went through these emotions. And look where he ended up.”

by mckay1402 Wed 16 May 2012, 8:21 am

I understand your son. The only reason I carried on playing rugby was for my dad but then I found that it had got under my skin and now I'm a dual code player.

Your story definitely rings true for me and when your father is so passionate for something you want to carry it on.

by Mr Bounce Wed 16 May 2012, 8:51 am

I first played rugby at boarding school in 1983. I was never a great sporting person, being a bit barrell-shaped and not having much skill with the boot in football. However, carrying a bit of extra baggage and having relatively good hand-eye co-ordination saw me chucked into the front row. Whilst I never set the world alight (actually I was pretty rubbish!) I thoroughly enjoyed my exploits at the junior coalface. Despite being "the fat kid", I felt useful and part of a team.

I was never really good enough to represent the school. I was once selected on the bench for the Under 13s A team (there was only one "bench" spot in those early days) but sadly due to a couple of people not turning up I was seconded to the "C" team where our scratchbuilt side was torn to pieces by about 25 points. Maybe the "A" team selection could have been my "big" missed opportunity! Further school representations were few and far between - a couple of U14 "B" team appearances at hooker and my final selection on the bench for the 3rd XV in 1989 where I eventually came on as a tighthead prop (ironically the first position I had ever played was also my last).

The house squad was excellent but with many school team players which meant that when I was 15, the non school team inter-house league squad was led by me and we won it. I actually played at No8 for these matches (being a lofty 5ft 6 at the time!!) and during this time I scored my only try and my only conversion. We had a great, hard-running centre and a hard-working honest pack which we based our game plan around (drive through the opposition players and give the ball to Sam) which made for great camaraderie because we never lost!!

In 1992, whilst at university I was asked to come along for a trial, despite not having played for 3 years. They saw I could actually catch, kick and pass a rugby ball I guess!! Three days before the trial I was playing indoor cricket (very dangerous sport, you understand) and fell awkwardly, damaging my knee fairly badly (anterior cruciate ligament issues). I was advised not to play any more rugby at the time, and seeing as I have had various other injuries throughout my years (achilles tendon and shoulder surgery), my wife has suggested that a late return to the game at age 40 would be akin to getting a Platinum Card at the local A&E unit.

I miss the "togetherness" of playing in a tight-knit team, and hate not being as fit as I should be. However I am also very aware that my injury-prone 40-year old body would not stand up to much pummelling so I now watch with interest from the comfort of the sofa, criticising loudly by saying "I wouldn't do it that way" a lot. laughing

by pontylad Wed 16 May 2012, 12:16 pm

Good bunch of stories on here ,if I was to sum rugby up for me I would say that rugby has given me a whole additional extended family.

I love wandering in to my local clubhouse and some guy will pitch up with whom I played twenty odd years ago and it will be like yesterday once more .It doesn't matter what walk of life they are from either as all are equal. You aren't judged on your job or your house or your car but on yourself .

With my formative years being the 70's I was brought up on legendary exploits even (as a Pontypridd/Rhondda lad) having a Cardiff RFC season ticket so I could go and see Gareth Edwards play for them . It helped when John Bevan already a British Lion came to our school as a trainee PE teacher for a term or two .

I've got two daughters too now in their twenties and guess what they both play one having got a Welsh under 19's cap and the other was captain of her university side being the Welsh girl who actually knew the laws of the game ,after 18 years of her father "explaining" them to the referee in front of her she would do !

Having watched rugby throughout Europe I find rugby supporters to be just about the best company you could hope to keep.

by kiakahaaotearoa Wed 16 May 2012, 1:28 pm

As an expat Kiwi living in Madrid, rugby is nostalgia, it´s a connection to my homeland, it's a source of pride and it's a form of entertainment that I love to watch. I get dragged to football games and tolerate it but all the theatrics make me want to yell harden the f*** up and get up! In fact I did once and everyone looked at me like I was a raving lunatic, which in a way I was.

Good to hear your son taking up the game as well as cricket Biltong. I think though we all know what the important thing is though with regard to your son and it´s not that he plays rugby.

I saw a brilliant video the other day on Youtube of what the World Cup victory meant to many NZers. It stirred up emotions but to put them into words doesn't do them justice. I think for many in NZ rugby is a natural thing as drinking water or eating lamb. To consider life without rugby is to contemplate life with no meaning and, therefore, rugby can be seen as life itself. And what an amazingly enriched life it is. kia kaha

by Submachine Wed 16 May 2012, 2:47 pm

Water? Did you say drinking w a t e r?

by pharmachris Wed 16 May 2012, 4:24 pm

Why is rugby important to me? You may as well ask me why air is important, or water.....? Can't really do without those either! Very Happy

by MrsP Wed 16 May 2012, 6:02 pm

Rugby started for me when my brother went to the Grammar School when I was 7.

My dad had never seen a rugby match having been raised by a footie mad parent and played semi-pro himself. This was a whole new experience and I was now dragged outside to have a ball passed to me instead of being made to stand in goal!

When I followed him to the same school 4 years later I had stood on the touchline enough and been used as a passing partner enough to have a fairly good grasp of the game.

Not long after I started I was asked by a PE teacher to fetch something from the store at the far end of the gym. The First XV were training in there so I quietly walked around the edge trying to remain un-noticed. Not too difficult as I was the height of nonsense.

On the way back out the ball landed at my feet. I, of course, did what I thought anyone would do in those circumstances and spun a pass back to them just as I had been taught. The looks on their faces was something to behold. I didn't know that not everyone had a big brother who had taught them to pass properly!

For the next few years rugby was watching my bro and then my classmates on a Saturday morning. The quickest way to the hockey pitches was across the rugby pitches and so the lads would come down a bit early for their match and watch us for a while and thenm we would watch them after our game was finished. I will accept that we all were probably not only there to watch the sport!

In my last year of school we had a charity match with the First XI (+ 4) against the first XV. The lads had to scrum and lineout on their knees. They weren't allowed to run with the ball or tackle us and we were allowed to do pretty much anything. The match ended an honourable draw with the boys scoring by picking up the girl with the ball and carrying her over the try-line.

Too busy for much sport at Uni although we did have at least one match in which our faculty challenged another and we had to field several GAA players with no idea of the rules. they hadn't a clue why the ref kept blowing his whistle when they fist passed the ball!

Recently rugby is playing in the garden with the kids, going to watch them play or watching Ulster and Ireland with them. The son is playing at school and one of the our daughters was the only girl in her Mini Rugby Club! Another has just won a trophy as captain of her primary school Tag Rugby team.

Biggest moment for me apart from watching them play has been us all gathered round the telly watching the first match against England at Croke Park.

They were all far too young to understand why we had tears rolling down our cheeks during the anthems.

by Looseheaded Wed 16 May 2012, 6:28 pm

As a member of a Welsh family raised in Twickenham, it was literally impossible for me not to become a rugby fanatic. Bar a few years in the sports wilderness where I played soccer, it's been staple in my life since I was about 4. Also, every Sunday's rugby training/matches as a kid were me and my brothers' time with our father (seperated parents) so really I guess rugby has always been important to me due to the whole father/son bond previously mentioned. Oh and for me the only great mates I've ever made (except one or two) have been through rugby so yeah, top quality sport.

At Uni now and still playing which about three years ago nobody would have believed (fourth choice prop at school) so rugby's also managed to teach me about commitment and belief and all that soppy Hollywood movie bullcrap.

by kiakahaaotearoa Wed 16 May 2012, 6:29 pm

Submachine wrote:Water? Did you say drinking w a t e r?

I train a lot (no longer for rugby) so I do drink water. A lot. But you can feel free to replace water with beer if it´ll make you feel better, which I know it will.

by Guest Wed 16 May 2012, 6:33 pm

Well I did say yesterday I'd give it a shot but couldn't find the words so I hope they come more easily now.

Simply put: I don't know life without rugby.

Some of my earliest memories are me being sat by my dad watching the rugby with him, and quite frankly not understanding why he was shouting at the tv so much. (oh how I understand now....)

Fast forward a couple of years, and my parents started taking me and my older siblings to Stradey Park to watch the Scarlets. We didn't go very often, sometimes only once a year, but it was nearly always around Bonfire night, and there was always a big fireworks display afterwards, that for me as a 7yr old, it was just simply magic. Being able to run on the pitch afterwards and try and meet the players too was just brilliant.

Back in the house it was always a bit strange as my Mam's Welsh and my Dad's English. All throughout the 90's lets face it Wales weren't very good, and England kept winning (except 99 I guess, or at least that's the one I remember! 32-31 and all that Wink

), and I remember the horrors of having to listen to my Dad stomping round the house belting out 'Swing low Sweet chariot'. It certainly made for a healthy rivalry anyways!

As I got a bit older, I used to go and watch my brother a bit play for our local team Llandeilo RFC, but the Scarlets and Wales were always my main focus.

Put it this way, in 1999 when Wales were staging the RWC, my secondary school said they weren't going to show the opening ceremony on tv.

My parents actually wrote me a note to say I had to attend a "family occasion" on the day of the opening ceremony so wouldn't be in school. No guesses as to what that occasion was! And how big rugby is in my area? I was by no means the only pupil that had done that! SO many of us came in with notes from our parents to say we wouldn't be in school that day, that the teachers crumbled and let us watch the opening ceremony live.

Rugby has shaped my life completely. Even at Uni, when I moved into halls I was the only Welsh girl there (despite going to uni in Aberystwyth!) and I soon had them all converted to watching rugby (well at international times anyways). Some are even Wales fans now as they got to know about the sport through me!

Since moving to Cardiff I've managed to go to some of the more traditional rugby grounds like Rodney Parade, the Arms Park and Sardis Road. I remember watching the crowds at those places when I was younger and wondering at the magic of it all, the atmosphere, and I'm just so glad I've experienced some of it now for myself.

I may not have played the game much due to them not teaching girls at school how to play (they brought that in when I was almost finished at secondary school) but I've watched it and supported my teams for as long as I can remember.

I just honestly wouldn't know a world without it, and I wouldn't want to. Rugby has helped me make so many friends, and travel to so many places, I think it's fantastic. The best sport out there.

I still haven't put this quite how I would want, but hope it goes to show some way what it means to me.

by PenfroPete Thu 17 May 2012, 10:02 am

When the battle scars have faded and the truth becomes a lie
And the weekend smell of liniment, could almost make you cry.
When the last rucks well behind you and the man that ran now walks
It doesn’t matter who you are, the mirror sometimes talks
Have a good hard look old son! The melon’s not that great
The snoz that takes a sharp turn sideways, used to be dead straight
You’re an advert for arthritis, you’re a thoroughbred gone lame
Then you ask yourself the question, why the hell you love the game?

Was there logic in the head knocks? In the corks and in the cuts?
Did common sense get pushed aside? By manliness and guts?
Do you sometimes sit and wonder why your time would often pass
In a tangled mess of bodies, with your head up someones ar$e?
With a thumb hooked up your nostril scratching gently on your brain
And an overgrown Neanderthal rejoicing in your pain!
Mate – you must recall the jersey that was shredded into rags
Then the soothing sting of Dettol on a back engraved with tags!

It’s almost worth admitting, though with some degree of shame
She was damned right in asking why the hell you love the game?
Why you’d always rock home legless like a cow on roller skates
After drinking at the clubhouse with your low down drunken mates
Then you’d wake up – check your wallet, not a solitary coin
Drink Berocca by the bucket, throw an ice pack on your groin
Copping Sunday morning sermons about boozers being losers
While you limped like Quasimodo with a half a thousand bruises!

Yes – an urge to hug the porcelain and curse sambuccas name
Would always pose the question, why the hell you love the game!
And yet with every wound re-opened as you grimly reminisce it
Comes the most compelling feeling yet , God you bloody miss it!
From the first time that you laced a boot and tightened every stud
That virus known as rugby has been living in your blood
When you dreamt it, when you played it, all the rest took second fiddle
Now you’re standing on the sideline, but your hearts still in the middle

And no matter where you travel you can take it as expected
There will always be a breed of people hopelessly infected
If there’s a teammate, then you’ll find him like a gravitating force
With a common understanding and a beer or three, of course
And as you stand there telling lies, like it was yesterday old friend
You’ll know that if you had the chance you’d do it all again
You see – that’s the thing with rugby It will always be the same
And that, I guarantee is why the hell you love the game!!

by **Biltong** Thu 17 May 2012, 10:10 am

Beautiful Penfro!

And yet with every wound re-opened as you grimly reminisce it
Comes the most compelling feeling yet , God you bloody miss it!

These memories are vivid, they'll never go away.
Oh how I wish, for one last game to play!

by red_stag Thu 17 May 2012, 10:36 am

Unlike many others from here I don't come from a house where my dad and my grandad and his grandad all played rugby.

I started playing when I was 13 and having been dreadfully bad at soccer, hurling, swimming, gaelic football, tennis and basketball finally found a sport I loved to play.

I played all my school and most of my university years and after a heavy fall on my neck in a lineout took up refereeing/coaching.

I got to coach in both Germany and Africa - both amazing opportunities.

I got a job which gets me to see rugby matches regularly and gets me posting on several forums!

In short its been a massive influence on me. My pals, my hobbies, my work has all become centred around the sport which I think has a great inclusive ethos of camaraderie, hard work and entertainment.

And the wheel has come full circle. 10 years ago nobody in my family was interested in rugby. Now my dad sits down to watch the likes of Dragons v Edinburgh on S4C with as much enthusiasm as watching Munster take on Leinster.

Its a really inclusive game and the people involved in it are simply fantastic. It can take you anywhere

by Driver Thu 17 May 2012, 2:30 pm

Great article.

by fa0019 Thu 17 May 2012, 5:49 pm

As a new father I too have gone through the same thoughts of most of those with young sons…. The dream of them loving the sport as much as their Da’s etc.

For me I guess I loved playing rugby even before I started playing the game as a young teenager… this wasn’t through television etc but rugby type games like speedball, British Bulldog etc. From a young age I love the physical aspect of sport, putting in bid hits etc and once I started playing the sport at school I realised that I had that sort of dogged physical personality which suits this game and most of the guys that play it. I got reasonably far, county and region honours (SW ENG) but that pretty much was my limit… beyond that everyone was seriously good, seriously fit and seriously motivated… in fact I would admit that the Welsh academy sides were the best I ever faced… although with them all boozing and smoking in the changing rooms post match you knew most of those guys would fall by the wayside eventually (real shame). After that it was just London club rugby post university.

My son (my first and currently only child) is only a toddler. Great little lad and I certainly look forward to teaching him the game, taking him to Newlands and watching rugby with him.
Sometimes I fear that he won’t want to play the game, that he’ll tell me (lord forbid) that he wants to do ice-skating or ballet etc!!! but in some ways I find that unlikely….

When I emigrated to SA I realised that there are those who like rugby and those who don’t… but everyone is a bokke fan… everyone is a passionate supporter. I look at that, my enthusiasm and my Afrikaner rugby mad inlaws and wife and I realise…. Its in his genes and fingers crossed he’ll be the same as the rest of his family…. I have high hopes for my boertjie… his oupa played age grade for WP and was a decent player so I hope he takes the best of me, the best of his Mammie’s genes and turn him into an awesome rugby player.

I actually took him to his first Super Rugby match in Newlands a few months ago… he cried through most of it but I’ll always remind him WP & the Stormers have been his team since birth and the emotion he displayed when he first went there… albeit for nothing to do with rugby Smile

I stopped playing myself when I came to SA… I was invited to join a club side in the northern suburbs through some boere pals of mine…. One look at their match against some tough coloured platteland side was enough to make me think twice about putting my boots on again!!!! Perhaps I’ll play again but every year stopped makes it more and more difficult and to be honest I don’t have the time.

If my boertjie was fortunate and dedicated enough to be a top rugby player and play tests could I cheer on the bokke… hmmm, I’d cheer on my boy anyhow Wink

.

PS – BB, not sure if you heard about the infamous story of Schalk in his youth as a moutain biker??? I read it in a SARugby magazine a while back.

It wasn’t told by him but by his father, Schalk Burger Snr. Apparently Jnr was a top mountain biker in his youth and competed in national events. They said that he was national champion age grade at one point.
Anyhow, the story goes that 2/3 towards the end of a race his chain snapped whilst leading which effectively ended his race… rather than just give up he apparently picked up the bike and ran to the finish line… he came 3rd!!! Jnr confirmed that it was true but ever the gent he played it down.

Now that’s the dedication that makes a test rugby player. Jake White said no one beats Schalk on the bleep test… he will just keep on going until the last man gives up. What a legend, great guy too.

by **rodders** Thu 17 May 2012, 7:58 pm

I'm not sure if there is one particular reason why rugby is important to me.

My first exposure to rugby was when I went to a rugby playing Grammar school. I'd never been much of a footballer or athlete and initially I hated it. I was small and had no skills and hated when the ball came my way.

Then one day in 2nd year something strange happened, one of the bigger kids was ploughing through everyone and I chased him down and hauled him to the ground...all of a sudden I came into the coaches radar... a week later the same kid, none to pleased at being hauled down by someone half his size came tearing down the wing straight at me.... I closed my eyes...braced...and then instinct took over and I threw him to the floor! I had found my niche! I was small and had no skills but I loved tackling!

From then on I was hooked, I went to every training session, started making the 'B' team, then the fringe of the 'A' team and finally earning a starting spot on my school medallion team for the medallion shield SF. Getting that newly made for our year, CCC no 11 shirt was the proudest moment of my rugby..no school boy life by miles..... ok we got tanked by Methody but hey ho.

From then the passion went out, adolescent angst took hold and I drifted in and out of rugby..playing for the school 3rds and 2nds a few times and then a season for the local team u-18s...other interests took hold and that was it....

....then at University I joined the team to try and relieve some of the boredom and isolation of living away from home....initially I didn't enjoy it, training was fun but the cliques and social demands of University rugby weren't my bag...Roy Keane was my hero and I was prone to Siapanesque meltdowns when people didn't take training serious...... but then in my final year we put a RL team together and things just clicked again, the cameraderie, the physical challenge...... half way through the year my Father died suddenly...I spent the final 6 months at University in a state of shock, but for 80 minutes on Wednesday afternoon I was free from the pain, sorrow and guilt...if it wasn't for rugby I don't know if I could have got through those final few months of University.

As a player that was it....rugby helped me develop discipline, commitment, self confidence as an adolescent and social acceptence as an ex pat student.....

..as a fan I've watched Ireland grow and develop from a team of whipping boys to a world class team..the Irish provinces, most recently my beloved Ulster, become powerhouses of European rugby and its given me immense cultural and national pride in a troubled and divided country where sport has often been a source of division rather than inclusion.

This year may have been the best yet, as a player or fan,... following Ulster through Ravenhill to Limerick, Dublin and now Twickenham... despite being on the periphery of the game rugby still provides a lot of the highlights in my life and this Saturday will be another guinness

.

by disneychilly Thu 17 May 2012, 8:04 pm

I was never the quintessential Kiwi. Like Kia I suppose I'm a long term expat having only spent 18 months in NZ since 2003. I love travel more than rugby which is saying something-by year's end I will have 70 countries under my belt which is why I post in fits and starts on here. I'm musical and quadrilingual (I know I know us Kiwis should work on our English before learning anything else), and am not the most masculine fellow in the world (I was a 10 go figure). In fact the only testosterone outlet I have now is plugging into a Marshall amp and playing big fat metal riffs.

But rugby is home to me. It's the warm familiarity you feel when you see someone in a rugby shirt in a place where the locals have no idea what it means. It's the quip about said shirt that starts a conversation, a friendship, and telling other people present about the great game we love. I took my German girlfriend to meet my family friends at Hutt Old Boys rugby club in NZ, where I ran around as a wee fella, and couldn't help but feel that I was sharing something very personal with her, a place that had so many memories for me.

Whenever my Dad and I talk, we always talk about the All Blacks. I remember as a kid setting my alarm then jumping into my Mum's bed at 3am and screaming at the TV for 80 mins before getting back between my own now freezing sheets. I went to NZ for a week in 06 and did the same to see NZ thrash Wales-I felt like the same 8 year old kid all over again.

I never played rugby past school, I was a cricketer. But I always felt rugby was more important-maybe because I was involved with it more despite not playing. Plus I'm very proud of the All Blacks. I don't buy into the patriotism thing. You can't help where you were born and I don't see the point in bragging about something like you had something to do with it. But I am lucky that I love the place where I am from. And rugby is a big part of that place. I played rep cricket and went to school with Allan Hewson's son Mark. Andy Leslie used to drive me home after working for the WRU. I'd see ABs galore at functions etc and meet them. Please don't think I'm name dropping as I'm not. I'm just trying to show that NZ is that small that the All Blacks are literally the team of my friends, my family, my town. Everyone in NZ knows an AB pretty much. And to have a team, made up of said friends and family, not lose 84% of its games over 107 years (non tests including draws), that's pretty special.

Just a snippet of what rugby means to me. If you want a reinforcement ask the Woolshed in Dublin for the security tapes of the World Cup Final. I'm there in all my glory.

by **Ozzy3213** Thu 17 May 2012, 8:25 pm

These are just 6 of a million reasons of why rugby is important to me.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A58261908
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A64519842
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A75409581
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A79070853
http://www.rugbynetwork.net/main/s97/st167443.htm
http://www.rugbynetwork.net/main/s97/st176801.htm

by Cari Thu 17 May 2012, 8:28 pm

red_stag wrote:

Its a really inclusive game and the people involved in it are simply fantastic. It can take you anywhere

Totally agree with that in terms of being a spectator. If I'm honest though, rugby is, and never was, massively important to me in terms of cultural and personal influence as such, but I do really enjoy watching it and being Welsh, I guess it was inevitable that I'd see rugby somewhere at some point. So, I don't really have any witty anecdotes or romantic stories about rugby and my past I'm afraid. I just find it enjoyable to watch and accessible to me more than some other sports I could mention. However, it was through rugby that I was able to do two things (not rugby related) that I'd always wanted to do that were important to me but probably never would have had the courage to. I won't post them here, because they're personal to me, but for that I'm eternally grateful.

by gregortree Thu 17 May 2012, 8:37 pm

Biltong, v touching story. You can be proud of your son for just being here after that difficult start. He and you will grow (or have grown) to love each other more than anything, rugby included. And that matters more than anything else. My son is a grown man of 28; his knee is crocked so he will never play again, but I still hug him and kiss him when he comes home. Be proud of your son any way you can.

by **Biltong** Fri 18 May 2012, 7:09 am

My little WPC cadet says, "thank you for bringing me daddy, this is great," and the score suddenly seems incredibly irrelevant

Gibson and Portnoy are half cut, and Mick(TEFC) is cheering for ASM Clermont Auvergne. MBTGOG has convinced the WPC cadet to shout louder, and AsLongAs has received a text from the Hound of Harrow saying he hopes we are all enjoying the game.

the large South African gentlaman behind us taps my forlorn looking 8 year old on the shoulder and says to her that nobody is worried about the result anymore, because she is the best and cutest supporter in the ground. Cue a huge smile and if she's happy, so is her daddy.

PenfroPete, representing the Ospreys, is in fine form with the banter, and Portnoys Complaint takes off his Tigers shirt, and hands it to my daughter, as a memento of her day out at Welford Road. A lovely gesture from a lovely man

Nice Ozzy!

by **Biltong** Fri 18 May 2012, 7:10 am

gregortree wrote:Biltong, v touching story. You can be proud of your son for just being here after that difficult start. He and you will grow (or have grown) to love each other more than anything, rugby included. And that matters more than anything else. My son is a grown man of 28; his knee is crocked so he will never play again, but I still hug him and kiss him when he comes home. Be proud of your son any way you can.

cheeers gregor. Hug

by doctor_grey Fri 18 May 2012, 2:51 pm

What does Rugby mean to me? Funny, because I never thought about this before. Reading the posts on the thread made me think about it and I can’t come up with a single idea of what it means.

Rugby has always been here. Hard to put into words.

Rugby simply is.

But I can share a few short examples of how Rugby has played and continues to play an important part of my life.

Growing up the son of parents in the Foreign Service, we moved a lot. Regardless of where we were, my parents always found a Rugby club for me to have friends. I am now incredibly fortunate to have maintained some of these friends over the years, and they are all around the world.

Over the years, the Army has volunteered me in my medical role to support our soldiers or on peacekeeping duties in some rough places. In the mid 1990s in Yugoslavia we were in quite some trouble a few times and escaped by some fairly narrow margins. One day a messenger comes running up telling me I was summoned to a park in Sarajevo. Some lunatic scheduled a Rugby match in the midst of the craziness and sadness - we had a small break. I will never forget.

A few years later in Iraq, another Rugby match broke out. Don’t know where some guy stashed his ball, but a brand new Gilbert showed up out in the middle of nowhere. Never been kissed, so to speak. As we played, for us a respite from the violence. But for the guys watching, most of whom had severe injuries, some of whom I had tried to help, it was a small bit of normalcy, maybe a small bit of home. After the match was over, looking at the faces of these guys was one of the most emotional days of my life.

And now, watching all my kids grow up into adults is one of the great things in my life. My two teenage lads play Rugby with skill, joy, and bloodyminded focus. As my lads grow to men, the Rugby is really a small thing. But it seems to encapsulate so many of the values we all want kids to grow up with: Team, hard work, not giving up, respect, intelligence, creativity, joy.
Also how to cheat, but only a little.

I asked my boys what Rugby means to them. They couldn’t put it into words, except to say:

Rugby simply is.

by bluestonevedder Fri 18 May 2012, 3:58 pm

Great post Dr.Grey.

by Driver Fri 18 May 2012, 4:26 pm

Here's an article i wrote a few months back

Driver - RIP 606 wrote:With Stewart Lancaster taking his England team back to there roots at West Park Leeds , i decided to think about my rugby routes. My rugby career takes me back to the age of 9 in my primary school when we took part in a tag rugby tournament with other schools and to be honest all i wanted to do was get the football from the bus and kick that about whilst pulling the front of my Newcastle United shirt over my face and running off with 'Speed scores again' yelled at the top of my voice!. The game didn't interest me as it was just people pulling tags off each other and i discovered by folding the tags on the inside they couldn't be ripped off so i was scoring trys for fun until Mr.Stubbs found out what i was doing and told me i wasn't allowed to play anymore and i took a instand dislike to the sport and went home and carried on playing football until secondery school.

The 2003 RWC victory by England saw rugby's popularity sore through the roof and my dad suggested i give it another go so i signed up to the school's rugby team and ended up playing for the year 8s who where all 6ft tall brutes who had been born with a rugby ball in there hands. compared to my 5ft 6 , 7 stone frame who was still wondering what a ruck and maul was and how to catch a ball. I started off on the wing because i used to quick from right back in football so i bagged a few touch downs as i called them back then before being instructed that they were called trys. After 2 years of school rugby i joined a club which a few of mates played for the club i am activly involved with today. Through playing for Seaton Carew i'v made some freinds who i will know for life and met some fantastic characters!.

I switched clubs when i was 15 to West Hartlepool and by then i'd been eating my veg so i'd shot up to 6ft and 14st and was playing in the back row or second row. At West i won so many trophies it was un true we dished out 100 point hammerings every week but it never felt as if there was a place for me at West and i rejoined Seaton just before my 18th birthday.

On my return to Seaton i had entered senior rugby and put the pounds on through about a hour in the gym and days on end in the bar. I had came back to the rugby club i still call my second home. What a fantastic place it was and still is to be.

On the 5th November 2011 my entire world was turned upside down about 25 minutes into a home game against Bishop Auckland 3rds. Packing down in the 2nd row at the scrum i felt a sharp pain in my neck and the next thing i remember was being layed on a stretcher with physios from both teams and paramedics stood over me and i had been taken from the pitch and was heading to hospital. I tried to move my right arm and couldn't i had been paralyzed down the right hand side of my body and would remain so for a few hours after. I spent 3 days in hospital with countless tests being ran on me and unlimeted sympathy from my mother.

I had slipped a disc in the C6 section in my neck and trapped nerves which paralyzed my right hand side , i'd been milimetres away from being in a chair the rest of my life and had got off lucky and to this day and every day after i owe the physios , paramedics and NHS staff my life and can't thank them enough.

At the age of 19 years 360 days my rugby career was over before it had even took off but if anyone asked me would i change a thing i wouldn't. Rugby isn't just about winning or loseing it's about the people you meet and the memories you make.

Rugby was and always will be a massive part of my life.

What's your rugby routes?

by **Biltong** Fri 18 May 2012, 5:48 pm

good to hear, you ended up all healthy mate, these can be scary moments for a player. thumbsup

by welshy6 Sat 19 May 2012, 10:32 am

hi all, new but old member- was welshy824 if anyone remembers but problems with internet means new account.

well still being the youthfull 17 i am, although after last nights rugby presentation i feel alot older!
being a welshman i guess it was always in me to play rugby, but my family were never huge rugby fans. but since i have started playing rugby not only have my parents become rugby fans but also have a much deeper pride in wales.
I started rugby at age of 7 when my parents were trying to find something for me to do, tried football, was rubbish at it, tried rugby and was rubbish at it but i enjoyed. so joined my local side and started off as a forward as i was chubby, as things developed i started playing hooker, then to prop then second row as 5 man scrums were introduced, finally at u13's i found my place on the rugby field... flanker.
I was never the naturally talented person on the pitch and as i was told by one of my oldest team mates- when i was 10 they didnt want me to play as i was so bad, i was chubby, slow, scared of tackling, couldnt catch very well and generally a bit of a big girl.
but one day something clicked, and my skills developed.
and now at the age of 17 i have been a member of rgc 1404, had fitness trials for wales u16's and had the best moments of my life. and while despite being a bigish lad (6ft 1) i am not one of these big macho lads who gets into fights or has to go round acting all tough, my team mates respect me and know that i can handle myself when i need to.

And thats why i love rugby, anyone can do it and have fun, and there is a position for everyone. ( as i said i wasnt the best and i am still not. but i use my attributes to my advantage, i read the game, i fear noone, and i am not afraid of getting stuck in, i pt my body on the line. oh and i am a sneaky bar steward who will do anything to annoy the opposition.)

i also love it not just because of the game which allows me to use my skills to my advantage but off the field they are some of your best mates you will ever have.

oh and being a rugby players pulls girls (no offence meant, but i am teenage lad...!!)

so while rugby has taken a huge part of my life so far, i hope it carries on doing so, through university and my working life.

by doctor_grey Sat 19 May 2012, 10:52 am

welshy6 wrote:oh and being a rugby players pulls girls (no offence meant, but i am teenage lad...!!)

Laddy, don't apologise for that! Crickey, that's just another benefit! Ride it as long as you can.
But sooner or later, we all figure out the girls are attracted to the dude in the jersey, not just to the jersey.

by SirBurger Sun 20 May 2012, 8:51 pm

Rugby is important to me for several reasons.

I grew up as a football mad kid, who originally hated rugby when made to play it at school. I was a lanky kid who even hated tackling in football (although I was pretty skilful in attack), so the prospect of playing Rugby was one I dreaded. In 2001 my Grandad was diagnosed with cancer. This was obviously about the time that England were becoming a great side. I remember spending countless weekends watching England dismantle all before them. Most of these were spent in the hospital ward. My interest in the sport began to increase. Eventually he passed away in the summer of 2003. He saw England win the Grand Slam but missed out on the World Cup. That Autumn I moved to a new school and started playing a lot of Rugby. It effectively became my life. Playing, watching, talking about. I have always felt that when he passed away he left me with the sport. I still play now, and whenever I step onto the pitch I try and make him proud!

Rugby has also given me my best friends. Despite playing a lot at school to a good standard I was a bit of quiet kid. At University I met the best group of guys imaginable and we had such fun together. I had the privilege of captaining the side and some wonderful memories.

Finally, my club London Irish has given me so much. Watching them score beautiful tries gives me a thrill like no other. Despite her initial lack of interest my girlfriend now comes to almost every game with me and we have a right craic.

Rugby has made me who I am and makes me happier than anything else. Without it I sometimes think I would be lost!

Sorry - that got a bit emotional!

by bluestonevedder Mon 21 May 2012, 10:26 am

This weekend I was in London for a friend's leaving do. My friends and I are very different when it comes to sport; I am an avid rugby fan, and they are football fans. Personally, I dislike football a heck of a lot but tolerate it because I know it's so popular. To account for all of our sporting passions, the journey up was planned around the big matches of the day. We got to a pub in time for the Heineken Cup final kick-off, and all was brilliant. Leinster and Ulster fans merged and chatted, bantered, and joked. It was a brilliant atmosphere. My friends mingled with fans even though they didn't have a clue what was going on, and I became a sort of in-house 'referee'; explaining to them all the complexities of the game and the rules. Guinness flowed and life was good.

After the rugby match, we decided to stay in the pub and watch the Champion's league final because we'd acquired a perfect view of the television (I use the term 'watch' very loosely). By kick-off, most of the Ulster and Leinster fans had moved on to other pubs, presumably as part of their plan to- as one fan put it, 'slowly drink themselves back to Ireland'. The pub steadily became crammed with Chelsea fans. As the game progressed and intensified, the fans became more and more vocal. All was fine, and it was quite an electric atmosphere to be honest. After half time though, things took a turn. Out of no where, the songs turned into xenophobic and racist chants, taunting the players on the television. Things just escalated, primarily catalysed by a group of 8-12 guys who seemingly thought that it was acceptable behaviour. Swearing and taunts were accompanied by the smashing of feet on the floor and even the occasional glass. Certain fans started turning on other spectators around them, who were just innocently trying to watch their team. If there's anything I can't stand, it's intimidation. By being loud and abusive, these brainless idiots were trying to intimidate everyone in the pub, even though everyone there was suupporting the same team. There was no sense of 'team' or spectator tribalism. I have a bit of a temper at times, and enraged by the scenes unfolding, I had to remove myself and went to a different part of the pub. As I was getting up from the table, I noticed a small family sat at a table in front of the group of Chelsea fans. They looked sheepish and scared. I saw that the father and son were wearing Bayern Munich tops, and were obviously a family on holiday who had sought a pub to watch the game in. I can only imagine what was going through their heads, witnessing the barrage of abuse.

I can honestly say at that point in time, I was absolutely ashamed to call myself British and recognise football as our national sport. I know that this is a very isolated case, and by no means am I extrapolating this to all football fans.

Two finals, but two very different experiences.

This is why I love rugby. Because despite its evolution over the last few decades, it's managed to retain that sense of humanity and community.

by **George Carlin** Wed 23 May 2012, 6:43 am

Very little to add and very little time to add it.

1. Biltong - lovely story. There were problems when my daughter was born too and the ice cold terror is like nothing else. Solidarity brother.

2. Rugby is important to me because it's simply the best team sport that there is and uses every skillset that we have. It's still a sport of gentlemen too and long may that continue.

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