Cern Scientists announce 5 -sigma draw "discovery"

Scientists at the CERN have announced the "discovery" of a draw particle at a press conference in Switzerland.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-18702455

Scientists investigating the so-called "socal particle", a phenomenon which acts to prevent Novak Djokovic from winning all the Slams he enters, have announced that the new particle was spotted in the draw carried out at Wimbledon a week ago last friday. The "socal particle" acts by giving the names "Federer" and "Nadal" sufficient mass to repel each other in the draw, ensuring that Djokovic always gets the worst of it.

The discovery was based on smashing 606v2 posters heads together at ever-increasing regularity with thousands of identically written articles until a fragment of the particle spun off and forced the words "Federer" and "Nadal" to separate on the page under laboratory conditions. The probability of this was tested to the 5-sigma level, which sounds really complicated but translates as the level at which Prof Socal says "seriously guys, this is like really blatent and totally obvious that they've all got it in for Djokovic". The "discovery" was greeted with thunderous applause from socal himself in a packed telephone box.

This confirms the standard model of seige mentality, and opens the door for all sorts of further aspects of the model to be validated, including "How Djokovic is saving Serve and Volley on his own by doing less of it than his contemporaries", "How The Shot triggered the Arab Spring" and "How Uncle Toni pulled the strings to prevent the RG final being played in a swimming pool".

Further research is required to determine whether it is the exact socal particale predicted or whether it's the other one, where anyone Federer or Nadal has ever beaten was a hopeless loser but everyone from Gael Monfils and up is now better than Federer & Nadal every were, including themselves.

Good stuff

'The "discovery" was greeted with thunderous applause from socal himself in a packed telephone box.'


Let's see how Socal responds

bogbrush wrote:The probability of this was tested to the 5-sigma level, which sounds really complicated but translates as the level at which Prof Socal says "seriously guys, this is like really blatent and totally obvious that they've all got it in for Djokovic".

It Must Be Love wrote:
Good stuff

'The "discovery" was greeted with thunderous applause from socal himself in a packed telephone box.'


Let's see how Socal responds

It's just fun, I'm not trying to start (or restart) a war.

That's really not my style.

Yea, I know, it's all in good spirits

He can't complain about the draw as 'Luck of draw' couldn't be any further from the truth.

Berdych taken out, Gasquet taken out, Almagro taken out, Monaco taken out.

What more could you want?

Ha, very good.

I do think socal gets a bit of a hard time on here. He's not the only one to look at things only through his favourite players eyes. I enjoy his posts, and have had a few good debates with him.

I'm sure he'll take this in the right spirit.

The phone box bit was very funny.

I am alright with jovial posts like these to break the tension.

The draw's irrelevant, beating Nadal over 5 sets on clay is the problem !

Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

socal1976 wrote:Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

Witty comeback!

bogbrush wrote:

socal1976 wrote:Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

Witty comeback!

I least expected a touche

legendkillarV2 wrote:

bogbrush wrote:

socal1976 wrote:Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

Witty comeback!

I least expected a touche

I was hoping for something apposite.

bogbrush wrote:

legendkillarV2 wrote:

bogbrush wrote:

socal1976 wrote:Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

Witty comeback!

I least expected a touche

I was hoping for something apposite.

Well it is fair to say that the olive branch was well and truly snapped

Pretty decent effort BB.

Here is one of mine on a very vaguely similar theme and CERN does get a mention. I wrote it after Federer lost to Soderling snapping his semi final streak. http://news.bbc.co.uk/dna/606/A69319092

legendkillarV2 wrote:

bogbrush wrote:

legendkillarV2 wrote:

bogbrush wrote:

socal1976 wrote:Not even Cern scientists can find away to pull your head out of your ass bogbrush.

Witty comeback!

I least expected a touche

I was hoping for something apposite.

Well it is fair to say that the olive branch was well and truly snapped

Wait a minute how is it that an olive branch was extended and snapped? What olive branch are you talking about? The troll/stalker/groupie I have follows me around threads attacking my everypost? Or the olive branch extended by the guy who writes up several paragraphs distorting my positions and making lame insults and attacks, is that an olive branch? If you find this guy's concerted smear campaign against me funny I suggest any of you go get your funny bones examined.

The funny thing is he sucks at being funny. I was funnier in my 8 word or whatever post then he was in his lame satire or distortion is what is the more likely description. No not amused, I point out this guy's track record of ridiculous denigration of Nadal and Djoko and I am accused of character assassination by a poster I respect. Although everything I said was absolutely true. This ultra-buffoon does 200 word or so post dedicated to distorting my record and arguments and we all gather around and have a chuckle. I ain't chuckling. But after having it out with this guy for the one thousandth time I am done.

Not going to engage the groupie/stalker/troll any longer. I am actually a little frightened by his obssession with me. I don't want to feed his addiction and acknowledge him but you all try to make that impossible. Well no more. He is dead to me.

Wow socal this seems a bit of an overreaction, it was only a bit of topical humour, I'm sure bb didn't mean anything too awful!

reckoner wrote:Wow socal this seems a bit of an overreaction, it was only a bit of topical humour, I'm sure bb didn't mean anything too awful!

No it isn't I don't really have the desire and energy to carry on a dialogue with everyone my time is precious to me and I enjoy this as a pastime. But it seems that my attempts to ignore their stupidity is taken as motivation to do entire threads attacking me and warping my arguments. As an attorney I am usually paid to suffer fools, I choose not to do it for free on my spare time.

http://funny-pictures-blog.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/I-dont-always-MEME.jpg

socal1976 wrote:

reckoner wrote:Wow socal this seems a bit of an overreaction, it was only a bit of topical humour, I'm sure bb didn't mean anything too awful!

No it isn't I don't really have the desire and energy to carry on a dialogue with everyone my time is precious to me and I enjoy this as a pastime. But it seems that my attempts to ignore their stupidity is taken as motivation to do entire threads attacking me and warping my arguments. As an attorney I am usually paid to suffer fools, I choose not to do it for free on my spare time.

I take exception to that statement; it's quite impossible to warp your arguments. I do you a favour by making them the subject of light relief - the forum was becoming increasingly baffled by your latest idea that Djokovic was single-handedly bringing volleying back to Wimbledon and here I am saving you by making it a subject for a chuckle.

No BB, I don't agree that you are saving him. The article did amuse me to be honest (I thought it was pretty funny) but it is basically taking the urine out of him. It's hardly a surprise that he got annoyed and he is quite right that there is no olive branch.

It's perhaps making a light joke, but given your history with him, can be seen more like bullying as well. OK, he might have been better judged to respond with a bit of humour but if he's going to take offence I think it's probably best to do no more articles of this sort and leave him alone for a while. There's no sense in a petty feud. If you don't comment on each others articles that might be for the best?

No Bill, I will exercise my discretion as I see fit and within the rules of the forum. I will also reject your suggestion that a humerous article should ever be misrepresented as bullying. I do tire of serious issues such as that being trivialised by waving the words around loosely.

I'm sure you mean well but almost everyone who commented on this thread got it that this was just fun.

The sensitivity to this discussion is reflected in the divide that respective supporters of Djokovic and Federer are exhibiting prior to a big match tomorrow.

It should be a nice match for the record books.

Laverfan I am the only supporter of Djokovic who regularly posts. Hence part of the reason that I am become the lightening rod for much of this stuff. The reality since Nitb left other than Murdoch i don't know of a single self desrcribed Djoko fan other than me who posts regularly, and i certainly don't shy from stating my opinion even if it is controversial. There are few passive pro Djoko Roger fans, but a 100 percent Novak fan who posts regularly its just pretty much me, which frankly I don't mind. Let them zig when I zag.

socal, there's no lightning rod effect as you describe. I doubt I ever had a cross word with nitb and she was flying the flag for Noval way back on the old 606.

The disagreements I have with you are over matters of fact, not allegience.

I really think you two guys should finally meet over a pint of beer and make up once and for all, be it in London, or California or Theran

Jeremy_Kyle wrote:I really think you two guys should finally meet over a pint of beer and make up once and for all, be it in London, or California or Theran

I don't drink!

Seriously, I harbour no ill will - I get up for an argument sure, always have and probably always will, but for me there's never anything lasting, no grudge. I don't even know the guy!

This thread was honestly just a laugh - and as socal advertises some strong opinions they are fertile ground.

I see they've now extended the Higgs confidence level to 5.9 sigma - a one in 300 million chance of being in error.

Is that anywhere near as high as Djokovic's draw probability?

Jeremy_Kyle wrote:I really think you two guys should finally meet over a pint of beer and make up once and for all, be it in London, or California or Theran

Why no Afghanistan?