John Terry Celebrates Not Guilty Verdict By Having Sex With Anton Ferdinand's Girlfriend

John Terry is planning to celebrate the not guilty verdict in his racial abuse trial and the reinstatement of his ‘good name’ by having sex with Anton Ferdinand’s girlfriend.

Terry left court victorious yesterday and his spokesperson said he was looking forward to getting back to normal by having sex with someone other than his wife. “Mr Terry is delighted by today’s verdict, and his first call was to Mr Ferdinand’s girlfriend in the hope she would join him to ‘celebrate’.”

“Mr Ferdinand is currently in Hong Kong with his team, and so Mr Terry is keen to ensure all three of them put this behind them as soon as possible. Over cocktails and a weekend of spit roasting."

Chief Magistrate Howard Riddle said he had heard a great deal of evidence to show Mr Terry was a complete and utter Dick, but that unfortunately this was insufficient legal reason to send him to prison.

In his judgement, he wrote, “Sure, putting John Terry in jail would make a lot of people very happy, but if being a risible human being was enough to get you prison time, then the entire mainland of England would be one massive nick and the free part of the population could live comfortably on the Isle of Wight.”



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Jennifer be careful, the law is a funny thing. You should have added the word "allegedly". People have been in court for a lot less.