The Inaugural TV Cup - Round Five: Best Non Human Character

First topic message reminder :

Another hotly contested round has ended, as has Azzy's faith in his fellow man as Only Fools and Horses wins the best TV Programme of the 1980s. 

There were points for Mr T and Arnold Rimmer, Homer Simpson and Baldrick too, and Hero's pick of Bullseye has done enough to keep him with a little cushion in first place overall.

The results were as follows, the ones not given were all decided by our panel as score draws.

Marky – Only Fools and Horses - 12
Kenny – The A Team - 10
onlytreblewinners – Red Dwarf - 10
Adam D – The Simpsons - 7
ChequeredJersey – Blackadder Goes Forth - 6 
NickisBHAFC – Auf Wiedersen Pet - 5
Rowley – Boys from the Black Stuff - 4
Hulking Up – Quantum Leap - 4
Nakatomi Plaza – Knight Rider - 2
Hero – Bullseye - 2


This week you will be voting for your Favourite Non Human Character. Doctor Who and Gromit are two I have banned from this round, much to the chagrin of all involved (or the two people that picked them). As ever, remember you are voting for your TWO favourities. Tino got a weird pick because, well, you'll work it out.

Next round we move onto a round that will no doubt cause controversy. Round Six will be "Guilty Pleasure". Awkward isnt it? I want something that you are either embarrassed to watch, or at least you dont bring it up in conversation. I will do some judging on this, I want no "Well, it is a bit embarrassing watch Game of Thrones cos its old n that". You arent embarrassed, you are trying to win, and for that Tino hates you. 

Bear in mind that those voting will be looking for the same criteria, you want to pick something interesting but also a bit odd/frowned upon. If you are content watching TOWIE, Made in Chelsea, Britain's Got "Talent" or Rugby League then you may be an idiot but you could well win this round. TNA will be accepted but rightly booed out of the building.

Note: Rugby League will not be accepted as people are apparently proud of themselves for watching this nonsense. 

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I was largely on the fence about Paddington but having realised Clarkson is in any way shape or form involved has sealed it for me. I now hate him.

That makes little sense Rowley.  You hate a bear (possibly orphaned) because he was exploited by a Clarkson?

Logic has little to do with my pathological but wholely justified hatred of Clarkson and his top gear cohorts.

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I quite like Clarkson. Once nobbed one of his au pairs.

Was that before or after your daliance with Sonia from Eastenders?  

Or at the same time?

Hang on, hang on. Mr Spock is half human - half vulcan. Get him out of there!

superflyweight wrote:Hang on, hang on.  Mr Spock is half human - half vulcan.  Get him out of there!

Nerd.

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I quite like Clarkson. Once nobbed one of his au pairs.

Was that before or after your daliance with Sonia from Eastenders?  

After. Cassidy was circa 2002, Clarkson's au pair 2005. I didn't nob Cassidy though. Just a struggle on the dancefloor.

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:So everyone is in agreement then, Paddington is a bit of a t!t.

Shall we move on?

I think you want to move on because you know the subject will eventually get to the fact that giant centipedes make up a good proportion of the Peruvian Bear's diet.

Whatever, michaels.  There is about as much chance of Paddington eating a Scolopendra gigantea as there is you actually sleeping with a female, let along Clarkson's au pair.

Both are facts dear.

Besides the Giant Panda, the Spectacled Bear is perhaps the most herbivorous living bear species.[28] These bears also eat cultivated plants, such as sugarcane (Saccharum ssp.), honey (made by Apis ssp.), and corn (Zea mays), and have been known to travel above the tree line for berries and more ground-based bromeliads.[29] When food is abundant, such as large corn fields, up to nine individual bears have feed close by each other in a single vicinity. Animal prey is usually quite small, but these bears can prey on adult deer, llama (Lama glama) and domestic cattle (Bos primigenius taurus) and horses (Equus ferus caballus).[14][23][30] Animal prey has included rabbits, mice, other rodents, birds at the nest (especially ground-nesting birds like tinamous or lapwings (Vanellus ssp.)), arthropods, and carrion.[

and marmalade sandwiches

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I was largely on the fence about Paddington but having realised Clarkson is in any way shape or form involved has sealed it for me. I now hate him.

That makes little sense Rowley.  You hate a bear (possibly orphaned) because he was exploited by a Clarkson?

Logic has little to do with my pathological but wholely justified hatred of Clarkson and his top gear cohorts.

So if the three of them buggered a flamingo you'd hate flamingos?

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Galted wrote:

Rowley wrote:I was largely on the fence about Paddington but having realised Clarkson is in any way shape or form involved has sealed it for me. I now hate him.

That makes little sense Rowley.  You hate a bear (possibly orphaned) because he was exploited by a Clarkson?

Logic has little to do with my pathological but wholely justified hatred of Clarkson and his top gear cohorts.

So if the three of them buggered a flamingo you'd hate flamingos?

Depends if the flamingo was dressed like a slut or not.

superflyweight wrote:Hang on, hang on.  Mr Spock is half human - half vulcan.  Get him out of there!

Oh, I go, "It's like saying I've got a new pedigree dog breed. It's half Alsatian, half Labrador". I go on to Crufts, I go, "Can I enter this dog in the Labrador section?" "No." "Why?" "Because it's not a Labrador." "Correct." "Can I enter it in the Alsatian section?" "No. For the same reasons. Now get that dog out of my sight." "Thanks, I will. You've proved my point." And that's Crufts.

Rowley wrote:

superflyweight wrote:Hang on, hang on.  Mr Spock is half human - half vulcan.  Get him out of there!

Oh, I go, "It's like saying I've got a new pedigree dog breed. It's half Alsatian, half Labrador". I go on to Crufts, I go, "Can I enter this dog in the Labrador section?" "No." "Why?" "Because it's not a Labrador." "Correct." "Can I enter it in the Alsatian section?" "No. For the same reasons. Now get that dog out of my sight." "Thanks, I will. You've proved my point." And that's Crufts.

He went home to get a book.

seanmichaels wrote:

superflyweight wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:I quite like Clarkson. Once nobbed one of his au pairs.

Was that before or after your daliance with Sonia from Eastenders?  

After. Cassidy was circa 2002, Clarkson's au pair 2005. I didn't nob Cassidy though. Just a struggle on the dancefloor.

did you try to lift her?

Lassie always came across as a bit of a know it all to me, showing off all the bloody time.

People have got to stop voting for the non picks!

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Lassie always came across as a bit of a know it all to me, showing off all the bloody time.

I'm sure I remember hearing somewhere that there were lots of different Lassies, and all of them were boy dogs with their lipsticks taped to their undersides. I may have dreamt it though.

wonder what work think when they see what i have googled.....

All the dogs portraying Lassie have been male. A female collie was hired to play the lead in Lassie Come Home, but when an opportunity came to film "Lassie" negotiating some rapids, the female reportedly would have nothing to do with the rushing water. Rudd Weatherwax's collie "Pal" was substituted, and not only stole the stunt but won the role. Weatherwax continued to use male collies in the role for a good reason: both sexes shed in the summer (when most movies and television shows traditionally film most of their episodes), but since the male has a thicker coat, he wouldn't look so scrawny during filming. Also, fans tend to think of Lassie as a "big heroic dog." Female collies are usually 10-15 pounds lighter than their male counterparts, therefore a male dog playing Lassie would look more impressive. Female collies were not ignored because they are any less intelligent; in fact, some of Lassie's stunt doubles have been females.

You have weird Dreams Union

Adam D wrote:You have weird Dreams Union

He also has an imaginary wife but we leave him be.

Adam D wrote:You have weird Dreams Union

Did you want to borrow it? I did have it for the Commodore 64, but got rid of it many years ago, sorry mate.

Here's a taster :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TzpbUtV3zPw

All this talk of fictional dogs and noone has mentioned that educational little feicer, wishbone!

or spit the dog.....

The Boss wrote:All this talk of fictional dogs and noone has mentioned that educational little feicer, wishbone!

Boss, did you ever hear Springsteen's cover of the Littlest Hobo's theme tune?

It rocks.

seanmichaels wrote:or spit the dog.....

Or Bouncer.

Or Dag Dog.

Ethel's Willy?

I can do 1 of 2 things here, Tino.

Say yes and be exposed as a liar due to it not existing.

Or say no and look like I'm not the biggest Springsteen fan on here as you convince the rest that there is in fact such a version.

So il say I prefer his acoustic version of The Teenage Mutant ninja turtles theme as Beenop and Rocksteady have also been scandalously omitted from the list.

Am I missing something or has "A PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" got as many votes as the sublime and majestic Paddington Bear?

The Boss wrote:I can do 1 of 2 things here, Tino.

Say yes and be exposed as a liar due to it not existing.

Or say no and look like I'm not the biggest Springsteen fan on here as you convince the rest that there is in fact such a version.

So il say I prefer his acoustic version of The Teenage Mutant ninja turtles theme as Beenop and Rocksteady have also been scandalously omitted from the list.

I didnt believe it either but sure enough!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Galted wrote:Am I missing something or has "A PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" got as many votes as the sublime and majestic Paddington Bear?

And the sublime, majestic and double hard bombardier beetle.

Life ain't fair, Galted. Life ain't fair.

What a performance. What a song. What a man!

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:Am I missing something or has "A PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" got as many votes as the sublime and majestic Paddington Bear?

And the sublime, majestic and double hard bombardier beetle.

Life ain't fair, Galted.  Life ain't fair.

It ain't.  And just to drive home the point I'm going to punch every Big Issue seller I see today really hard in the face, even the ones I've already punched.

Galted wrote:Am I missing something or has "A PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" got as many votes as the sublime and majestic Paddington Bear?

I don't like lime and I rate Paddington Bear as sub-lime.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Am I missing something or has "A PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" got as many votes as the sublime and majestic Paddington Bear?

I don't like lime and I rate Paddington Bear as sub-lime.

How wantonly callous.

Good to see Miss Piggy has no votes yet. Can't think of anything that would make me change channels quicker than that tw@t coming on.

Il Gialloblu wrote:Good to see Miss Piggy has no votes yet. Can't think of anything that would make me change channels quicker than that tw@t coming on.

Tough day at school?

I can't stand Miss Piggy either, I'm not a fan of porkers.

Just realised I could have had Marina from Stingray.
(I don't mean I could have had her - she was way out of my league)

JuliusHMarx wrote:Just realised I could have had Marina from Stingray.
(I don't mean I could have had her - she was way out of my league)

Aqua Marina ?

Very needy girl, there were always strings attached.

Kenny wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Just realised I could have had Marina from Stingray.
(I don't mean I could have had her - she was way out of my league)

Aqua Marina ?

'Aqua' only in the theme tune, iirc

yes but it's stuck in my head now JM !!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD96RQ1-wnY

Union Cane wrote:Very needy girl, there were always strings attached.

True, although I hear she's very happy to be controlled by a man.

Union Cane wrote:Very needy girl, there were always strings attached.

You're on fire today Union.

I know, that's two in one day.

seanmichaels wrote:

Il Gialloblu wrote:Good to see Miss Piggy has no votes yet. Can't think of anything that would make me change channels quicker than that tw@t coming on.

Tough day at school?

Day off actually.

Rowley wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Very needy girl, there were always strings attached.

You're on fire today Union.

If only.

You're not fit to carry Union's jockstrap Tina, he has his reverse linear borderline autism thing, you only have your strange insect obsession.

Rowley wrote:You're not fit to carry Union's jockstrap Tina, he has his reverse linear borderline autism thing, you only have your strange insect obsession.

There is nothing strange about Arthropods. And it is a love, not an obsession.

Bender and Danger Mouse, but where the flock is SuperTed?

kingjohn7 wrote: but where the flock is SuperTed?

He's been thrown away, like a piece of rubbish, into an old, dark storeroom.

So far the "PICK I AINT GOT YET YA PLUMS" has tried two picks I have had to reject:

Homer Simpson
Donkey from Shrek

Il Gialloblu wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Il Gialloblu wrote:Good to see Miss Piggy has no votes yet. Can't think of anything that would make me change channels quicker than that tw@t coming on.

Tough day at school?

Day off actually.

I always had you as a calm chap. Everyone has their tipping point and it seems miss piggy is yours.

If an admin could change the last pick to Schmeichel the dog from Coronation Street then id be happy and grateful