The Inaugural TV Cup - Round Five: Best Non Human Character

First topic message reminder :

Another hotly contested round has ended, as has Azzy's faith in his fellow man as Only Fools and Horses wins the best TV Programme of the 1980s. 

There were points for Mr T and Arnold Rimmer, Homer Simpson and Baldrick too, and Hero's pick of Bullseye has done enough to keep him with a little cushion in first place overall.

The results were as follows, the ones not given were all decided by our panel as score draws.

Marky – Only Fools and Horses - 12
Kenny – The A Team - 10
onlytreblewinners – Red Dwarf - 10
Adam D – The Simpsons - 7
ChequeredJersey – Blackadder Goes Forth - 6 
NickisBHAFC – Auf Wiedersen Pet - 5
Rowley – Boys from the Black Stuff - 4
Hulking Up – Quantum Leap - 4
Nakatomi Plaza – Knight Rider - 2
Hero – Bullseye - 2


This week you will be voting for your Favourite Non Human Character. Doctor Who and Gromit are two I have banned from this round, much to the chagrin of all involved (or the two people that picked them). As ever, remember you are voting for your TWO favourities. Tino got a weird pick because, well, you'll work it out.

Next round we move onto a round that will no doubt cause controversy. Round Six will be "Guilty Pleasure". Awkward isnt it? I want something that you are either embarrassed to watch, or at least you dont bring it up in conversation. I will do some judging on this, I want no "Well, it is a bit embarrassing watch Game of Thrones cos its old n that". You arent embarrassed, you are trying to win, and for that Tino hates you. 

Bear in mind that those voting will be looking for the same criteria, you want to pick something interesting but also a bit odd/frowned upon. If you are content watching TOWIE, Made in Chelsea, Britain's Got "Talent" or Rugby League then you may be an idiot but you could well win this round. TNA will be accepted but rightly booed out of the building.

Note: Rugby League will not be accepted as people are apparently proud of themselves for watching this nonsense. 

Rowley wrote:What is all this reference to hi tech? Buy yourself some better footwear people.

Wingrove's chosen footwear for assassination I believe.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

Il Gialloblu wrote:

Union Cane wrote:I have a bird-box in my garden which is currently home to a flock of bees.

A flock?

Yes, a flock. I know that the correct collective noun is swarm, but that conjures images of Michael Caine and killer bees wreaking havoc and destruction, whereas mine are quietly going about their business and not doing any harm to anyone. So yes, flock.

So basically, you got it wrong and are frantically trying to back track to get yourself out of it?

It is not nice when people correct you all the time.  Is it Union?

 
I'll defend Union here. I'm sure he knew what he was saying, and probably looking for a bite. Although the highlighted sentence did make me think that Caine was acting with the bees, smashing windows and snapping car ariels off while the bees were stinging everyone up.

Il Gialloblu wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

Il Gialloblu wrote:

Union Cane wrote:I have a bird-box in my garden which is currently home to a flock of bees.

A flock?

Yes, a flock. I know that the correct collective noun is swarm, but that conjures images of Michael Caine and killer bees wreaking havoc and destruction, whereas mine are quietly going about their business and not doing any harm to anyone. So yes, flock.

So basically, you got it wrong and are frantically trying to back track to get yourself out of it?

It is not nice when people correct you all the time.  Is it Union?

 
I'll defend Union here. I'm sure he knew what he was saying, and probably looking for a bite. Although the highlighted sentence did make me think that Caine was acting with the bees, smashing windows and snapping car ariels off while the bees were stinging everyone up.

You were only supposed to sting the bloody postman

Swarm contains the best line Caine ever delivered in a film. "I never thought it would be the bees. They've always been our friends."

Remember seeing a quote from Caine about either Swarm or Jaws the Revenge when someone asked him if he had seen the film since he made them, he said no but he saw the swimming pool they had paid for every day and that was lovely.

I haven't seen the film but I've heard it is terrible. I've seen the house it built and that is fantastic.

seanmichaels wrote:I haven't seen the film but I've heard it is terrible. I've seen the house it built and that is fantastic.

I suppose you slept with one of Caine's daughters as well?

Eh?

Union Cane wrote:Eh?

Caine. Not Cane.

Oh.

Carry on then.

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

So is Jay from the inbetweeners if you listen to him, just an observation.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

Cassidy and Clarkson's au pair aren't exactly lookers or celebrities.

Anyway, I hung up my johnson a long time ago. These days I'd prefer to be sat on a cricket roller with a 4 pack or defending my lavender bush from arthropods.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

So is Jay from the inbetweeners if you listen to him, just an observation.

Michaels reckons he looks like the New Zealand spinner, Daniel Vettori. I think Jay or Catweazle is much closer to the truth.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

So is Jay from the inbetweeners if you listen to him, just an observation.

Such a cynic Jeff.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Oh.

Carry on then.

Although I know you have a couple of daughters though, Union.

I would keep them away from michaels if I were you, he seems to be irresistible to females.

So is Jay from the inbetweeners if you listen to him, just an observation.

Michaels reckons he looks like the New Zealand spinner, Daniel Vettori.  I think Jay or Catweazle is much closer to the truth.

Hard couple of years Tina. Jurgen Kloppf seems to be the go to nickname these days.

seanmichaels wrote:

Hard couple of years Tina. Jurgen Kloppf seems to be the go to nickname these days.

I have no idea who that is?

seanmichaels wrote:Anyway, I hung up my johnson a long time ago.

He had quite an innings by the sound of it, standing in for Sonia Jackson's trumpet and what have you.

Union Cane wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:Anyway, I hung up my johnson a long time ago.

He had quite an innings by the sound of it, standing in for Sonia Jackson's trumpet and what have you.

Cassidy didn't get access to the Hampton. I bottled it and went back with my mates intead.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:

Hard couple of years Tina. Jurgen Kloppf seems to be the go to nickname these days.

I have no idea who that is?

borussia dortmund manager

I just googled Jurgen Klopp.

He looks like a tramp who has stolen a shell-suit off a scouser.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I just googled Jurgen Klopp.

He looks like a tramp who has stolen a shell-suit off a scouser.

tramp is what i'm called at cricket.

seanmichaels wrote:I bottled it and went back with my mates intead.

You now sound like a Sausage Nigel.

sausage nigel?

seanmichaels wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I just googled Jurgen Klopp.

He looks like a tramp who has stolen a shell-suit off a scouser.

tramp is what i'm called at cricket.

 
It's better than looking like a scouser who stole a shell-suit off a tramp though.
 
edit: is it? That might not be right.
 
Anyway:
 

michaels tattoo:

Have got a consultation for a tattoo on Friday, not particularly relevant but like to share with the group. I find it cathartic.

Rowley wrote:Have got a consultation for a tattoo on Friday, not particularly relevant but like to share with the group. I find it cathartic.

You're 40 years old man. They look ridiculous on teenagers, let alone a grownup.

What is the world coming to.

I'm a youthful 40 though Tina

You'll be buying an MX-5 next...

You just want to join Dave in the mosh pit of a SLAYER gig, right?

Can't afford one Union. Am thinking of getting another scooter though. Is this a mid life crisis? If so guess I should be grateful I am too fat and ugly to have an affair.

What sort of consultation? Don't you just decide what you want then get it done?
 
Out of interest Jeff, would it be your first? I'm 32 and have none and am of the opinion that since I haven't by now, I probably never will. Note, probably.
 
I quite like being a blank canvas. It must be almost rarer than having a tattoo these days.

Is a cover up for a drunken one, one of my mates is a tattoo artist so going to see what sort of thing is viable and what I like

Rowley wrote:Can't afford one Union. Am thinking of getting another scooter though. Is this a mid life crisis? If so guess I should be grateful I am too fat and ugly to have an affair.

If you're fat and ugly, how is a tattoo going to improve things?

You should rely on your charm, wit and intelligence to impress people.

On second thoughts, good luck for Friday.

Am hoping it will become a conversation piece Tina.

Passer By - That looks like it hurt

Me - Yes it did.

The hours have the potential to fly by.

Rowley wrote:Is a cover up for a drunken one, one of my mates is a tattoo artist so going to see what sort of thing is viable and what I like

 
Fair enough.
 

Rowley wrote:Am hoping it will become a conversation piece Tina.

Passer By - That looks like it hurt

Me - Yes it did.

The hours have the potential to fly by.

 
It's going to be in a place that a passer by would see it?

Rotherham.

I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.

C'mon tina, lets keep the coincidence streak going!

superflyweight wrote:I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.  

C'mon tina, lets keep the coincidence streak going!

It really is rather freaky but....

I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.

I'm starting to think that I might be an alias of you, Tina.

I'm starting to think that I might be an alias of you, super.

You're not tina. Superfly is considerably more likeable than you.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.  

C'mon tina, lets keep the coincidence streak going!

It really is rather freaky but....

I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.

I am 35 and have a tattoo of the littlest hobo.

Adam D wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

superflyweight wrote:I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.  

C'mon tina, lets keep the coincidence streak going!

It really is rather freaky but....

I'm 35 and don't have a tattoo.

I am 35 and have a tattoo of the littlest hobo.

I think they mean years old, Adam, not stone.

Rowley wrote:You're not tina. Superfly is considerably more likeable than you.

winchester is considerably more likeable than you, I still wouldn't put it past him being your alias.

You could cut the sexual tension here with a knife

  Maybe tomorrow...  , Union.

ChequeredJersey wrote:You could cut the sexual tension here with a knife

You think?

Rowley is soooooo last year.

Rowley wrote:I'm a youthful 40 though Tina

Bleeding mid-life crisis, me thinks. Why not buy a porsche like any self respecting man

You're the second person in two days to accuse me of being an alias of Winchester. If this continues even I will start to have doubts.