POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
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Rowley
Mike Selig
TRUSSMAN66
TopHat24/7
jimmyinthewell68
Mind the windows Tino.
ONETWOFOREVER
rIck_dAgless
Bull
bhb001
Galted
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POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Legolas (Lord of the Rings trilogy) – really gets my goat, whether it's his stupid comments, the infinite amount of arrows his quiver contains, surfing down the steps of Helm's Deep on a shield while laying to waste half of Saruman's army, or just being the kind of long-haired prat that gets drowned by people with tattoos, he really is a complete waste of space. Elves are just sh1t anyway.
Jar-Jar Binks (Phantom Menace) – floppy-eared w*nker.
Mr Yunioshi (Breakfast at Tiffany's) – excruciatingly embarrassing. Why it was necessary for a chubby, dwarf-sized white man who resembles a pedophile photofit to portray an angry and clumsy Japanese stereotype so racistly that Nazi Germany would have been offended is beyond comprehension. Even if they had a Japanese actor playing him the character would add nothing but irritation to a film that would be unwatchable if it wasn't fort Audrey Hepburn. Bizarre.
Susanna Kaysen (Girl, Interrupted) – thanks, love, we're all very impressed with how crazy you and your friends are but One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest this is not so either show the camera your fannies or f*** off.
Chewbacca (original Star Wars trilogy) – seriously, what is the point of Chewie? Some lanky, deformed collosus dressing up in a shag pile with absolutely no impact on the film other than to cause the viewer to mutter "actually, this is a bit sh1t, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend".
Pi Patel (Life of Pi) – a tiger in a boat is interesting, quite funny actually. You, however, are not.
Mel Gibson (Braveheart) - because what every butchering of history needs is a tw@t in the lead role (yes, I know Gibson was supposed to be playing William Wallace but he didn't, he played Mel Gibson with blue paint on his face).
All the characters (Jurassic Park) – f*** off people, we want to see velociraptors hunting swiftly in pairs.
Chris McCandless (Into The Wild) – just take a few pretty shots of the Alaskan wilderness, no need to have a cretinous soon-to-be corpse stinking up the screen with his college-rebel philosophy.
Sgt Barnes (Platoon) – yeah mate, we get it, you're a bit hard-ar$ed and evil.
Nullah (Australia) - Kids have no place in film unless they're finding dead bodies or being massacred and you're no exception. All those funny little comments you made weren't actually funny and that cute little face of yours won't look so cute with a load of buckshot emptied into it.
Jar-Jar Binks (Phantom Menace) – floppy-eared w*nker.
Mr Yunioshi (Breakfast at Tiffany's) – excruciatingly embarrassing. Why it was necessary for a chubby, dwarf-sized white man who resembles a pedophile photofit to portray an angry and clumsy Japanese stereotype so racistly that Nazi Germany would have been offended is beyond comprehension. Even if they had a Japanese actor playing him the character would add nothing but irritation to a film that would be unwatchable if it wasn't fort Audrey Hepburn. Bizarre.
Susanna Kaysen (Girl, Interrupted) – thanks, love, we're all very impressed with how crazy you and your friends are but One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest this is not so either show the camera your fannies or f*** off.
Chewbacca (original Star Wars trilogy) – seriously, what is the point of Chewie? Some lanky, deformed collosus dressing up in a shag pile with absolutely no impact on the film other than to cause the viewer to mutter "actually, this is a bit sh1t, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend".
Pi Patel (Life of Pi) – a tiger in a boat is interesting, quite funny actually. You, however, are not.
Mel Gibson (Braveheart) - because what every butchering of history needs is a tw@t in the lead role (yes, I know Gibson was supposed to be playing William Wallace but he didn't, he played Mel Gibson with blue paint on his face).
All the characters (Jurassic Park) – f*** off people, we want to see velociraptors hunting swiftly in pairs.
Chris McCandless (Into The Wild) – just take a few pretty shots of the Alaskan wilderness, no need to have a cretinous soon-to-be corpse stinking up the screen with his college-rebel philosophy.
Sgt Barnes (Platoon) – yeah mate, we get it, you're a bit hard-ar$ed and evil.
Nullah (Australia) - Kids have no place in film unless they're finding dead bodies or being massacred and you're no exception. All those funny little comments you made weren't actually funny and that cute little face of yours won't look so cute with a load of buckshot emptied into it.
Galted- Galted
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Have you thought of taking anger management classes? May help with your blood pressure as well.
bhb001- Posts : 2675
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
bhb001 wrote:Have you thought of taking anger management classes? May help with your blood pressure as well.
You sound like my mum.
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Yeah it may help indeed, no need to get so winded up over a film
Oh and i liked Legolas my favoirite character in TLOTR from the 2 ive watched well 1 and half i got bored of the 3rd one half way
Oh and i liked Legolas my favoirite character in TLOTR from the 2 ive watched well 1 and half i got bored of the 3rd one half way
Bull- Posts : 17546
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
frodo - lord of the rings - just go away, stop whining, and let Sam crack on taking the ring!!
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Henry "Mutt" Jones III - dont think i need to say anything
Bull- Posts : 17546
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
the bloke in any adult movie ever
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Don't know if you guys remember Blade 1
there was this fat Jubba the hut looking slob of a creature. Not sure WHY he was included was enjoying the film up until then.
Vinny Jones charactor in Gone in 60 seconds
there was this fat Jubba the hut looking slob of a creature. Not sure WHY he was included was enjoying the film up until then.
Vinny Jones charactor in Gone in 60 seconds
ONETWOFOREVER- Posts : 5510
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Galted, I do enjoy it when you drop your handbag in the film section. I still periodically giggle over the memory of Arwen, and I quote you, "dropping her guts and sticking a tampon up her snatch"
Can't agree with Sgt Barnes though. He makes Platoon the film it is. Without him it would just be those two soft lads Taylor and Elias quietly w*anking each other off in the middle of the Vietnamese jungle.
Mind the windows Tino.- Beano
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Chris Donald as robin in the two batman films he was in . lets be honest in every film hes done
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Glad you approve Tino, it's all just a furious cover up for still not having one single point to show for my efforts in the TV cup.
Don't think either Barnes or Elias were a fully-fledged character, just varying extremes of what may as well have been the same person. Thought the idea of an idealistic volunteer in Vietnam was enough to sustain a film without resorting to soap opera villains and heroes.
Don't think either Barnes or Elias were a fully-fledged character, just varying extremes of what may as well have been the same person. Thought the idea of an idealistic volunteer in Vietnam was enough to sustain a film without resorting to soap opera villains and heroes.
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Sophia Coppolla - Godfather 3
ONETWOFOREVER- Posts : 5510
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
the annoying limo driver in the first die hard
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
jimmyinthewell68 wrote:the annoying limo driver in the first die hard
I think that is probably the perfect example. McClane himself wouldn't have been a bad choice either.
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Julia Roberts playing a pretty rubbish character anyway playing Julia Roberts in Ocean's 12.
Speaking of that trilogy, the tw*t playing the explosives expert that has the worst English accent since van Dyke in Mary Poppins.
Mike Tyson in the Hangover films.
Controversial one, but, Jeff Daniels as Abe in Looper. Couldn't take him seriously, just kept seeing Harry from Dumb & Dumber.
Speaking of that trilogy, the tw*t playing the explosives expert that has the worst English accent since van Dyke in Mary Poppins.
Mike Tyson in the Hangover films.
Controversial one, but, Jeff Daniels as Abe in Looper. Couldn't take him seriously, just kept seeing Harry from Dumb & Dumber.
TopHat24/7- Posts : 17008
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Galted wrote:jimmyinthewell68 wrote:the annoying limo driver in the first die hard
I think that is probably the perfect example. McClane himself wouldn't have been a bad choice either.
PC plant...........You aren't going to have a black in a so called white supremacist terrorist block...The black policeman can't be the funny element...So get mr Cliche black boy...........
TRUSSMAN66- Posts : 40681
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Legollas yes - particularly as "played" by Orlando Bloom. Seems to exist just to say things which don't make sense and try to make them appear profound.
The Phantom Menace didn't need Jar-Jar Binks to butcher it to be fair, it did a fine job of that by itself. Whilst we're on the subject, kid Anakin is soooo annoying. Mind you teenager Anakin is not much better. As for that Padme...
No mention of the Ewoks yet?
The Phantom Menace didn't need Jar-Jar Binks to butcher it to be fair, it did a fine job of that by itself. Whilst we're on the subject, kid Anakin is soooo annoying. Mind you teenager Anakin is not much better. As for that Padme...
No mention of the Ewoks yet?
Mike Selig- Posts : 4295
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
The limo dirver is called Argyle. And folk would do well to remember I will ban anyone who speaks ill of the original Die Hard.
Rowley- Admin
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
that screechy gimboid from the 6th Element
rIck_dAgless- rik
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
sorry rowley oh and rick its called the fifth element .sorry for that too . people are annoying when they correct you
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Okay I'm going to vouch for Diane Keaton as Mrs Corleone..........She was just plain dull, boring and didn't serve a purpose.........
Her scenes could have been cut and the films made more compact...
Great films though.........
Her scenes could have been cut and the films made more compact...
Great films though.........
TRUSSMAN66- Posts : 40681
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Every black token buddy from the 80's.
Winston from Ghostbusters yes i'm looking at you.
Winston from Ghostbusters yes i'm looking at you.
ONETWOFOREVER- Posts : 5510
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Biggest cliche was the black guy out of Starsky and Hutch......Painful..........
TRUSSMAN66- Posts : 40681
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Biggest cliche was the black guy out of Starsky and Hutch......Painful..........
It was the 70's man. S and H needed a man on the streets. I bet there was thousands of Huggy bears around back then.
ONETWOFOREVER- Posts : 5510
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
the 80s black guy in films was the equivalent of the poor guys dressed in red in the old star trek series . cannon folder
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
operation human shield.......
TopHat24/7- Posts : 17008
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Mike Selig wrote:Legollas yes - particularly as "played" by Orlando Bloom. Seems to exist just to say things which don't make sense and try to make them appear profound.
The Phantom Menace didn't need Jar-Jar Binks to butcher it to be fair, it did a fine job of that by itself. Whilst we're on the subject, kid Anakin is soooo annoying. Mind you teenager Anakin is not much better. As for that Padme...
No mention of the Ewoks yet?
re Legolas - and to exclaim "A diversion!" when Gandalf & Aragorn have spent the last five minutes explaining the diversion they're going to create.
You're right about Jar-Jar & Phantom Menace, he was really just a maggot in a rotting carcass and not the accidental butcher.
Will take exception to mentioning Padme but Anakin was deserving of relentless torture.
As for the E*oks, I would've included them but the thought of the hairy little turds makes me shake too much to type properly.
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Darth Maul...by virtue of being a potentially brilliant character/villain who was woefully under-used in favour of (if the early scripts are to be believed and it's not just one massive merchandising advert) a jive-talking, funky walking, space-age Huggy Bear rip-off with a speak impediment.
Guest- Guest
Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
keeping with the star wars theme , how about lukes uncle . what a barstool he was . talk about slave labour . at least he got what was coming to him . burnt to a crisp .
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
All of the Ewoks
ChequeredJersey- Posts : 18707
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
agree with Frodo, I mean just stop moaning and get on with it you little sod.
welshy824 (new)- Posts : 162
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
jimmyinthewell68 wrote:keeping with the star wars theme , how about lukes uncle . what a barstool he was . talk about slave labour . at least he got what was coming to him . burnt to a crisp .
- This bloke:
I'm going to say John Connor from Terminator 2. What a little sh1t he was. Summed up far better in this article than I ever could:
Cracked wrote:Edward Furlong was one of many people to play John Connor, the future savior of humanity against Skynet. In T2, Skynet sends a Terminator back in time to kill John Connor at age 10, but the future John Connor sends back his own Terminator to protect his past self, probably forgetting what a huge dick he was when he was a kid.
We know what you're thinking at this point and no, we don't hate children. We really don't. But let us summarize Edward Furlong's role in T2 with this one scene. It's supposed to be a powerful exchange where Connor learns that humanity is destined for Armageddon, no matter what:
John Connor: "We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean."
The Terminator: "It is in your nature to destroy yourselves."
John Connor: "Yeah. Major drag, huh?"
- A major drag:
Look, kids are tough to work with. It's hard to write authentic little-kid dialogue, it's hard to make their role in the action plausible, it's hard to find a kid who isn't horrible at acting. Filmmakers seem to do it as a way to appeal to young audiences, but as Plinkett points out in his excellent Star Wars prequel reviews, kids don't go to movies to see other kids. They want to fantasize about being an adult Han Solo, not a young, annoying Anakin Skywalker.
This is especially true when the little kid is written by some middle-aged screenwriter to be cute and hip and sassy, putting into his mouth all sorts of "hip" lingo the kids are using these days. So, our first impression of John Connor is him hacking an ATM machine and stealing $300, then turning toward us and saying, "Easy money!" as if it's his catchphrase.
And he's all about the catchphrases. Later we have the scene where he decides to teach his robot protector to be human, giving him a course in how the kids talk here in 1991:
"You say, 'No problemo.' And if someone comes up to you with an attitude, you say, 'Eat me!' And if you want to shine them on it's, 'Hasta la vista, baby!' or 'Later, dickwad.' And if someone gets upset, you say, 'chill out!' "
- someone chilling out:
When confronted by some bad guys (bad because they... tried to rescue John because they thought Arnold was assaulting him) one of them calls him a dipshit, which he is. Then he proves it by saying, "Did you call moi a dipshit?" in the dipshittiest way possible.
We understand that lots of us were douchebags when we were little kids, so it's perfectly logical that maybe the future savior of humanity was one, too, at that age. But you don't need to include that part in a movie.
http://www.cracked.com/article_18698_the-7-most-irritating-characters-from-otherwise-great-movies.html
Il Gialloblu- Posts : 1759
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Leo Getz.
They you go. I win.
They you go. I win.
Mr Bounce- Posts : 3501
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
john conner from terminater 3 was a lot worst . this guy gets beaten up and locked in a cage by a girl . Im not talking about the hot robot Im talking about the girl vet . he such a wimp .how could he ever be the leader of men . Im sure i saw him cry at one point . Christian bale is the best conner so far . lot more assertive and aggressive . just ask the lighting guy on set
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Isn't that the point? To show how he has been forced to mature by the knowledge of the fate he doesn't want but can't avoid?
ChequeredJersey- Posts : 18707
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
yeah but he was a big girls blouse and dont forget this bloke been training since he was in nappies . i can see where you coming from but they could have picked a better actor who comes across bit more tougher
jimmyinthewell68- Posts : 1237
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Re: POINTLESS CHARACTERS WHO REALLY BUTCHER THE FILMS THEY'RE IN
Edward Furlong was smacked off his faced on various substances hence why he didn't get the part.
Mr Bounce- Posts : 3501
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