Exclusive Interview with Jim Ross

http://v2journal.com/23/post/2013/09/exclusive-interview-with-jim-ross.html



In a major coup for 606v2, I managed to obtain an exclusive interview with recently retired / fired WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross. Read on intrepid 606v2ers!



theundisputedY2D2: Hello everyone and welcome to this exclusive interview on 606v2 with the voice of the WWE, Hall of Famer Good Ol’ JR: Jim Ross. Thanks for joining us today Jim.

Jim Ross: You’re welcome BAH GAWD! It’s a pleasure to be here with a real blue chipper. A stud. A hoss. I’ve been following your career ever since you were a Tight End at the University of Humpy Creek, Alaska. I’m a huge fan of Random Thoughts; it’s the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen in my 40 years in the business. When in the hell is it coming back?

Y2D2: Soon Jim, soon. Thank you for those kind words. So Jim you recently retired from the WWE, how are you enjoying your retirement?

JR: Jim Ross may have retired from the WWE but he hasn’t retired from life BAH GAWD! I’ve been keeping busy with my various business interests.

Y2D2: Good to hear. You mention ‘various’ business interests. Obviously we all know about your barbecue sauce, what other ventures are you pursuing?

JR: Well we got the ol’ BBQ sauce selling like hot cakes... and we sell hot cakes too. And they’re selling like... umm... like.... barbecue sauce?

Y2D2: Okay.... and the other business interests?

JR: We got ketchup. And mustard. And catsup BAH GAWD!

Y2D2: Right..... anything outside the condiments business?

JR: Jerky!

Y2D2: That’s a bit harsh, we’ve only just met!

JR: NAW GODAMMIT! I wasn’t calling you a jerky! We sell jerky! Beef jerky BAH GAWD! It’s tougher than a two dollar steak! And it costs a damn sight more than two dollars let me tell you.

Y2D2: Oh I see. So outside of sauces and jerky what other business endeavours are you involved in?

JR: Endeavours? Future endeavours? “We wish you well in your future endeavours” TWENTY YEARS BAH GAWD! TWENTY BAH GAWD YEARS! BAH GAWD TWENTY YEARS I GAVE THEM KING! IT’S NOT RIGHT DAMMIT!

Y2D2: Umm JR... are you okay?

JR: WHAT?..... oh.... I.... yeah sorry I don’t know what happened there. I love the WWE and I’m grateful for the opportunity they gave me to work there for twenty years and we parted on good terms.

Y2D2: Moving on. There has been some controversy surrounding your departure from the WWE. It’s rumoured that you were fired because of what happened at the WWE 2K14 panel where yourself and Ric Flair were said to be slightly ‘refreshed’ shall we say and deviated from the script somewhat. Would you care to address these rumours?

JR: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY THAT’S A HEINOUS AND HELLACIOUS ACCUSATION TO LEVEL AT GOOD OL’ JR! IT’S A BUNCH OF HORSE’S ASS IS WHAT IT IS! JIM ROSS DIDN’T DEVIATE FROM THE SCRIPT! I WASN’T DRUNK, I WAS TIRED BAH GAWD! I’D BEEN DRINKING FOR 3 DAYS AFTER ALL, THAT’LL MAKE ANYBODY TIRED! AND RIC FLAIR WASN’T DRUNK EITHER! PROBABLY! THE NAITCHA BWAAAAH RIC FLAIR IS THE GREATEST WRESTLER OF ALL TIME! OTHER THAN SHAWN MICHAELS! AND STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! AND THE GAME TRIPLE H! HELMSLEY IS A TECHNICAL MARVEL QUITE FRANKLY! DAMN YOU HELMSLEY YOU SONOFABITCH! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!

Y2D2: So these rumours all over the internet are untrue?

JR: YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT THEY’RE UNTRUE! AND THEY’RE LIES TOO BAH GAWD! DAMN THE INTERNET! WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THE INTERNET KNOW ABOUT WRESTLING? DAMN THE INTERNET ALL TO HELL I SAY! IT’S ALL LIES AND GOSSIP AND RUMOURS AND CONJECTURE AND SPECULATION AND LIES BAH GAWD!

Y2D2: So how did your ‘retirement’ from the WWE play out then?

JR: I got called in to see Satan himself; that damn Vince McMahon. He sat me down and he said “Jim, that WWE 2K14 panel got a little out of hand. We’re not happy with the publicity it generated. So how would you like to retire?” and Good Ol’ JR looked him in the eye and said “NAW VINCE I DON’T WANNA RETIRE GODAMMIT!” and he said to me “Jim” he said “In that case YOU’RE FIIIIAAAAUUUURRRRGHED!” So I looked him in the eye again and said “Vince, I’d like to retire”.

Y2D2: So you WERE forced out of the WWE?

JR: WHAT?! HOW IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT’S HOLY DID YOU COME TO THAT CONCLUSION BAH GAWD?! LISTEN TO WHAT I SAID! I SAID “VINCE, I’D LIKE TO RETIRE!”

Y2D2: Yes but what about the things you said before that? About Vince not being happy with the publicity from the WWE 2K14 panel and saying if you didn’t retire you’d be fired?

JR: THAT NEVER HAPPENED BAH GAWD! YOU’RE PUTTING WORDS IN MY DAMN MOUTH!

Y2D2: But you actually said that.

JR: THAT’S A BUNCH OF BULLHICKY! IT WAS THE INTERNET! THAT DAMN INTERNET! THE WWE IS THE GREATEST PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ORGANISATION IN THE HISTORY OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING OR ORGANISATIONS!

Y2D2: So they didn’t fire you then?

JR: NAW YOU DUMBASS THEY DIDN’T FIRE ME! I WASN’T WISHED WELL IN MY FUTURE ENDEAVOURS! AND SOME JACKASS SITTING AT HOME SAYS ‘WELL HE KNOWS HOW TO BE WISHED WELL IN HIS FUTURE ENDEAVOURS’! HOW IN GAWD’S NAME DO YOU LEARN TO BE WISHED WELL IN YOUR FUTURE ENDEAVOURS KING?!

Y2D2: Umm...... you don’t?

JR: THAT’S RIGHT! YOU DON’T!

Y2D2: Alrighty. How would you like to be remembered by wrestling fans?

JR: AS THE GREATEST ANNOUNCER OF ALL TIME! THE TOUGHEST ANNOUNCER IN THE WWE! WHEN JIM ROSS PUT ON THAT HEADSET YOU KNEW THAT GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY BUSINESS WAS ABOUT TO PICK UP! YOU WERE IN FOR A KNOCK DOWN, DRAG OUT, SLOBBERKNOCKER OF AN ANNOUNCER! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! STONE COLD! THE RATTLESNAKE!

Y2D2: I’m sure that’s how we’ll all remember you Jim. Now you’ve got some more spare time on your hands, outside of your business ventures how do you pass the time?

JR: Well, every chance I get I’m down at The Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium to watch the greatest team in all of sports: The Oklahoma Sooners. BOOMER SOONER! BOOMER SOONER! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY BOOMER SOONER!

Y2D2: One thing I’ve always wondered Jim, what exactly IS an Oklahoma Sooner?

JR: IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF AN OKLAHOMA LATER BAH GAWD!

Y2D2: Good one.

JR: WHADDAYA MEAN ‘GOOD ONE’?!

Y2D2: Umm..... nothing. So what else do you do besides watching football?

JR: I enjoy writing my blog which I then post up on the internet..... THAT DAMN INTERNET! IT’S FULL OF LIES! LIES DAMMIT! THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON! IF JIM ROSS EVER GOT HIS HANDS ON THE INTERNET IT’D BE RUNNING LIKE A SCOLDED DAWG BY THE TIME I WAS FINISHED WITH IT BAH GAWD!

Y2D2: Anything else?

JR: Well, I also like to twit on Tweeter.

Y2D2: You mean Twitter? On the internet?

JR: THAT DAMN INTERNET! THE WHOLE INTERNET CAN KISS MY OKLAHOMA ASS THE LOUSY BAR STEWARD! EVERYTHING THAT’S ON THE INTERNET IS LIES AND GOSSIP! LIES THAT AREN’T TRUE! AND GOSSIP THAT ISN’T FACT! WHICH AS FAR AS I’M CONCERNED IS THE WORST KIND OF LIES AND GOSSIP BAH GAWD!

Y2D2: I concur; they are indeed the worst kind of lies and gossip. Do you have anything else you want to add Jim?

JR: GOOD GAWD! GOOD GAWD! WILL SOMEONE STOP THE DAMN INTERVIEW? ENOUGH’S ENOUGH!

Y2D2: Would you like to end it there Jim?

JR: GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY LOOK AT THE CARNAGE! THE BLOOD! THE BONES! THE BROKEN BONES! SOMEBODY CALL THE EMT’S!

Y2D2: Okay then.... I think that’s as good a place as any to call it a day. Thank you very much for joining us today Jim and all the best in your future..... umm never mind.

JR: It was a pleasure to be here. FOR theundisputedY2D2 THIS IS GOOD OL’ JR JIM ROSS SAYING GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY! WE’LL SEE YOU SUNDAY AT IN YOUR HOUSE! NOW BUY THE DAMN PAY PER VIEW!

Y2D2: Umm Jim..... it’s Thursday afternoon. And there’s no pay per view this Sunday. And there hasn’t been an In Your House since 1999.

JR: ................... BUY THE DAMN PAY PER VIEW! TATSU! TATSU! BAH GAWD TATSU!

    

  Brillaint, just brilliant.

It is my mission to get this RT'd by Jim himself.

Will put it up on the journal a little later

Its up on v2 - now to get Jim Ross to RT!

http://v2journal.com/23/post/2013/09/exclusive-interview-with-jim-ross.html

Tara just RTd it to 191k followers!

 

You're the greatest Wrestling poster of all time

Kay Fabe wrote: 

You're the greatest Wrestling poster of all time

This.

Or Pauline/Leslie/Barry Black