Most unfortunate names?

Had a good mate at school, married now. Finding out he was married a day ago caused a little chuckle internally. Not due to the fact that he has married a 34-year old Dutch mother of one he met playing World of Warcraft, or something similar - but rather because I read his name for the first time in a while. I never found his name funny, but that was because I knew him for so long that the familiarity dulled the wordplay possibilities. Any way, the unfortunate goom was Christened Deacon Payne, but going to an Afrikaans school, sadly, the accent caused the name to pronounced Dik-in-Pain. Got a chuckle out of it anyway. Know any similarly unfortunately named suckas?

There was a name on the end credits of "Cheers"(?) and she was called Mary Fukuto

There used to be a Richard Cheese where I worked.  I'll assume I don't need to explain it and no, I'm not bullsh*tting.

A few years ago there was a fishmongers in the high street in our local market town owned by and called Douglas J. Balls
 
Quite what Mr Balls was thinking when he christened his daughter Ophelia remains a mystery. I kid you not, poor girl.

I used to work in a cash and carry supplier for local shops and everytime a particular customer used to come to my till i used to crack up. The name of her business was Sheetal News.

Knew a Nigerian in school whose surname was Achekibabumbaki

Acheki-ba-bum-baki

we made his life hell for 5 years

Knew a kid at school called Sean Sex.
I believe he now goes by the name of Sean Sexton.

I was once at a football club that had a number of sides. There were brothers there that played in different sides and I knew both of them. I knew the elder one as Kingy and the other one as Wayne. One day we were all due to play together in the same side, Kingy says to me "have you met my brother Wayne?" I said yes and that was when the penny dropped; Wayne King. I had to work really hard to keep a straight face.

Not unfortunate in the same way, but we seem to have a few clients who share their names with fictional characters.

I doubt Michael Knight really minds (although I bet he doesn't have a talking car), but I'm pretty sure Harry Potter finds the jokes a bit old now...

There was one guy whose parents decided to call him Michael, which is a fine name, if your surname isn't Michael. Michael Michael was just odd.

A couple of notables that I didn't personally meet, but have been told to me:

Friend working in a restaurant was taking payment by credit card from a "Mr Cockrammer". He laughed.

Ex-girlfriends stepfather worked with a man called Johnny Conquest, which always struck me as the most awesome name ever.

sodhat wrote:There was one guy whose parents decided to call him Michael, which is a fine name, if your surname isn't Michael. Michael Michael was just odd.

A couple of notables that I didn't personally meet, but have been told to me:

Friend working in a restaurant was taking payment by credit card from a "Mr Cockrammer". He laughed.

Ex-girlfriends stepfather worked with a man called Johnny Conquest, which always struck me as the most awesome name ever.

Isn't Gary and Phil Neville's dad called Neville Neville?

As for Johnny Conquest, surely he's a WWE superstar?

Galted wrote:There used to be a Richard Cheese where I worked.  I'll assume I don't need to explain it and no, I'm not bullsh*tting.

Lucky his sirname was'nt Head.

When I worked for a bank, as part of the training they gave you an account number to look up when checking the systems.

The account they used belonged to a guy called:

Roger Mashita

I've worked with a Laura and Emma Adcock. Quite fitting for one of them.

And I had dealings at work with a Hugh Johnson. Genuine (not homo).

Not really unfortunate, just a bit ridiculous, but I had to deal with someone briefly at another company who had been christened 'Sunshine'. So whenever I spoke to her on the phone I'd get funny looks from everyone else in the office when I'd open with "Morning, Sunshine".

What was worse was that her surname was Stewart. So if I called and it went via switchboard I sounded like something off a Guy Ritchie movie: "Can I speak to Sunshine Stewart, please?".

Ridiculous.

seanmichaels wrote:I've worked with a Laura and Emma Adcock. Quite fitting for one of them.

I've a friend with the same surname. Unfortunately, his first name begins with an 'M' and his company would alter their automated email creation so his is madcock@.....

Says it on all his business cards and when he's asked his email address there's always that awkward moment when he has to say "MADCOCK, AT....".

went to school with an Emma Dale, and worked with a guy called Rich Coffee.

Once went to school with a girl called Nikyta Mashishi. Which doesnt sound too bad until I tell you that in the upper north South African dialects, Mashishi is literally translated as "Pubic hair"...

Thinking about it, quite a few African names have a not-so tasty translation - my best friends surname, Shoapha translates to "having a flat as.s"

Was reading this sobering article on the BBC about Congo and came across quite a beaut:

Mobutu became a tyrant. In 1972 he changed his name to Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga, meaning "the all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake".

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24396390

When I was at Uni, there was a house opposite ours that had a guy live there. He was a painter and decorator I believe which is all well and good. However, on his white van emblazoned on the side was his name (and the company name I think). His name was Paul Mycock.

I. Kid. You. Not.

The Womble wrote:When I was at Uni, there was a house opposite ours that had a guy live there. He was a painter and decorator I believe which is all well and good. However, on his white van emblazoned on the side was his name (and the company name I think). His name was Paul Mycock.

I. Kid. You. Not.

Hopefully his parents were as cruel to his brother and called him Phil... 

There's the two Irish homosexuals Gerald Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzgerald.