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IRB ruling - Scotland to start each match with +10 points

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IRB ruling - Scotland to start each match with +10 points Empty IRB ruling - Scotland to start each match with +10 points

Post by RDW Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:25 am

The IRB has released the following statement:

Bernard Lapasset wrote:"The IRB has reviewed the recent 6 Nations and has decided to make things a little bit more competitive, as no one wants to see Wales, England, Ireland and France doing well all the time.

Given that the SRU are as useful as a Durex in a nunnery, we are taking things into our own hands. From henceforth Scotland will be given a 10 point head start against any opposition ranked higher than them in the random number generator that is the IRB rankings. We appreciate that this might not be enough in most cases, but we can only help them so far.
 
In addition the following players are banned from playing against Scotland in a bid to make things more competitive:

Wales - anyone with the surname Jones, Jenkins, Davies or Roberts.  We appreciate this rules out 95% of the Welsh population but you will still find yourself competitive against Scotland.

Ireland - anyone with O' at the front of their surname.

France - any player that likes wine and cheese.

England - no restrictions, the IRB likes seeing England give Scotland a good old rogering.



When asked about this change in rules Scott Johnson said the following:

"Fair dinkum mate, you know, Scotland is like a bikini, a bikini on my body, not nice to look at with random hair coming out all over the place."

That was all he said on the matter.

We hope this makes the game more competitive, and we look forward to future Scotland internationals.


p.s. we're not doing anything about Italy, because we don't like them.


Link

IRB ruling



Last edited by RDW_Scotland on Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:45 am; edited 1 time in total

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Post by George Carlin Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:44 am

Inevitable. Not sure it will go far enough to make any practical difference, but it's a step in the right direction.
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Post by Biltong Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:45 am

The best handicap would be to have opposition tries only count 1 point. Conversions must be taken via a drop goal from the halfway line.
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Post by George Carlin Tue 01 Apr 2014, 8:47 am

Biltong wrote:The best handicap would be to have opposition tries only count 1 point. Conversions must be taken via a left footed drop goal from the halfway line by a prop forward nominated by the Scottish captain.
Now we're talking. IRB ruling - Scotland to start each match with +10 points Cancan16
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Post by Biltong Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:02 am

George Carlin wrote:
Biltong wrote:The best handicap would be to have opposition tries only count 1 point. Conversions must be taken via a left footed drop goal from the halfway line by a prop forward nominated by the Scottish captain.
Now we're talking. IRB ruling - Scotland to start each match with +10 points Cancan16

Isn't that kinda too obvious?
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Post by George Carlin Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:06 am

You're right. Straight drop goal from the half way line only.
I mean, fair's fair.
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Post by EWT Spoons Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:07 am

George Carlin wrote:You're right. Straight drop goal from the half way line only.
I mean, fair's fair.

Blindfolded?

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Post by cakeordeath Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:14 am

I was going to suggest that maybe it would be better if the opposition were only let out for the second half. Then I realised we would probably still lose  Sad Sad 

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Post by jimmyinthewell68 Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:52 am

how about wearing kilts and nothing underneath . not many opposite players would risk a tackle with a loose tackle flaring at them

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Post by Biltong Tue 01 Apr 2014, 9:55 am

jimmyinthewell68 wrote:how about wearing kilts and nothing underneath . not many opposite players would risk a tackle with a  loose tackle flaring at them

Gives a whole new meaning to the term "cheese and Whine"  Laugh 
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Post by GunsGerms Tue 01 Apr 2014, 10:04 am

Nice article. Like it!!

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Post by tigertattie Tue 01 Apr 2014, 10:27 am

apparently the Welsh have already lodged an appeal

"In addition the following players are banned from playing against Scotland in a bid to make things more competitive:

Wales - anyone with the surname Jones, Jenkins, Davies or Roberts. We appreciate this rules out 95% of the Welsh population"

They are not happy with this ruling as it means Mike Phillips and Rhys Pristland are still still eligable to play!
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Post by munkian Tue 01 Apr 2014, 10:40 am

I think Scotland should actually get a 'get out of jail' card considering how many times they play with less than 15 players
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Post by funnyExiledScot Tue 01 Apr 2014, 10:43 am

The following appeals have been lodged today against the new rules:

Ireland appealed because the new rules were clearly an anti-BOD conspiracy, and notwithstanding his retirement want the rules to clearly state that he is/was/will always be the undisputed greatest player, and man, of all time.

England appealed because the new rules don't include a proviso to the effect that England be awarded a penalty at each and every scrum, regardless of what happens. This "clarification" would be helpful.

Wales have appealed as well. They don't really know why, but England lodged one so they felt they had to as well.

Scotland appealed. The SRU read the IRB release and got confused. They weren't sure who the IRB were, and whether starting with a 10 point lead was a good thing, given they play golf every day before a long lunch. So they appealed anyway, sending Scott Johnson to deliver the message. Sadly the message got lost, as Johnson picked a dead pigeon to fulfil the delivery duties, rather than the postal service.

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Post by munkian Tue 01 Apr 2014, 10:53 am

Hey, if England protested we'd support it  Wink 
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Post by SneakySideStep Tue 01 Apr 2014, 12:41 pm

Australia will doubtless decide to use this enlightened IRB ruling to see if they can get the scrum rules changed "on safety grounds".

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Post by doctornickolas Thu 03 Apr 2014, 2:28 pm

RDW_Scotland wrote:The IRB has released the following statement:

Bernard Lapasset wrote:"The IRB has reviewed the recent 6 Nations and has decided to make things a little bit more competitive, as no one wants to see Wales, England, Ireland and France doing well all the time.

Given that the SRU are as useful as a Durex in a nunnery, we are taking things into our own hands. From henceforth Scotland will be given a 10 point head start against any opposition ranked higher than them in the random number generator that is the IRB rankings. We appreciate that this might not be enough in most cases, but we can only help them so far.
 
In addition the following players are banned from playing against Scotland in a bid to make things more competitive:

Wales - anyone with the surname Jones, Jenkins, Davies or Roberts.  We appreciate this rules out 95% of the Welsh population but you will still find yourself competitive against Scotland.

Ireland - anyone with O' at the front of their surname.

France - any player that likes wine and cheese.

England - no restrictions, the IRB likes seeing England give Scotland a good old rogering.



When asked about this change in rules Scott Johnson said the following:

"Fair dinkum mate, you know, Scotland is like a bikini, a bikini on my body, not nice to look at with random hair coming out all over the place."

That was all he said on the matter.

We hope this makes the game more competitive, and we look forward to future Scotland internationals.


p.s. we're not doing anything about Italy, because we don't like them.


Link

IRB ruling




Ok a Welsh Team Without any Jones, Jenkins, Davies or Roberts

1. Paul James
2. Richard Hibbard
3. Samson Lee
4. Jake Ball
5. Luke Charteris
6. Lydiate
7. Warburton
8. Faletau
9. Mike Phillips
10. Dan Biggar
11. Leigh Halfpenny
12. Scott Williams
13. George North
14. Alex Cuthbert
15. Liam Williams


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Post by RDW Thu 03 Apr 2014, 2:30 pm

See all these Welsh players without stereotypical Welsh surnames!

I miss the days when 75% of the team was called Jones.

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Post by jimmyinthewell68 Thu 03 Apr 2014, 3:25 pm

Jones passes to Jones who kicks for Jones to chase . reminds me of the church scene in blazing saddles .

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Post by George Carlin Thu 03 Apr 2014, 3:29 pm

You should see the comic Mo Amer (who is Syrian) do the bit about how he didn't realise how many people in Egypt are called Mohamed until he starting watching the national football team and he thought the entire team constituted one guy.
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