Culture Cup rd 3 (Books)

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 20 May 2015, 4:01 pm

First topic message reminder :

Round 2 of the Culture Cup 2.0 finally comes to an end, and what a controversial round it turned out to be. There were accusations of vote rigging (by me, about Adam. I still think he has cheated), arguments, swearing and threats of physical violence. But, that’s what great art does. It inspires opinions, it creates extremes of emotion, it forces people to look into their souls. Round 2 was great art. Great art happening in front of our eyes, people. There were one or two questions about the validity of some picks and, as usual, some invective spewed my way. But I can handle it. That’s what great leaders do, provide inspiration in the face of adversity. It’s water of a ducks back to me. Or jizz off Sean’s chin if you need a better metaphor.

So who were the movers and shakers in round 2? Well, the biggest winners were Hero and Harrier who both scored 10 points with Madge and Dusty. I voted for Madge so I can’t say I’m too disappointed with those choices. Son Of A Preacher Man is a great song as well so no complaints from me. Hero and Hammer are at the top of the table with Paul, Treb “Tik Tok” Trebs and 'fathead' Adam breathing down their necks. That f*cking lunatic Ziggler somehow managed to lobby enough people to vote for his choon and finds himself in second place for round 2 with 8 points. Adam with Hit Me Baby One More Time somehow claims the last podium position in round 2 with a truly awful song. I’d like to hit all the people that voted for it one more time with a massive claw hammer. Although that would just involve hitting Adam over his stupid, fat head numerous times as he clearly cheated and rigged the votes. Jeff and superfly continue their titanic “who is the least sh*t out of two sh*t posters” battle with Jeff’s solitary vote this round enabling him to snuggle up to his great rival on 2 points each in the table.

A few posters continue to languish with no points, with Sean “I lie more than Jay from the Inbetweeners” Michaels, Galted “Massively Gay Way” Mears and Julius “I’m old so I moan. Deal with it” Marx all yet to break their 2.0 virginity. Stella has become a bit of an enigma. He joined late, and now won’t answer my PM’s. This has forced me to choose for him in round 3. Hopefully my choice will lift him from the foot of the table.

So the updated table looks like this:

1) Hero 16 pts
2) Harrier 14 pts
3) Paul 12 pts
4) Trebs 10 pts
5) Adam 10 pts
6) Ziggler 9 pts
7) SerialDAVE 7 pts
8) C&R 6 pts
9) Azzy 6 pts
10) weeman 5 pts
11) Nakatomi 4 pts
12) Beadle 4 pts
13) Union Cane 3 pts
14) Shah-abu bakr 3 pts
15) The Boss 3 pts
16) superfly 2 pts
17) Jeff 2 pts
18) Grumpy G*lfer 2 pts
19) Dagless 1 pt
20) Michaels 0 pts
21) Jules 0 pts
22) Ray Mears 0 pts
23) Stella 0 pts

Round 3 takes us to books and question was this: WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE OF FICTION WRITTEN BY A EUROPEAN?

Please remember, THIS IS OPEN FOR ANYONE ON 606v2 TO VOTE

Thanks.

by Guest Thu 21 May 2015, 11:12 am

seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:As this is a place of intelligence can someone suggest a word to describe an illegitimate child?

Sean?
Given that "b*stard" means "unwanted" I think "Sean" is a perfectly acceptable alternative

Saw a program on Bradford last night. Sheeesh

not sure of the relevance to you being used as a perfectly acceptable alternative to the word "b*stard"

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:18 am

current affurs Dave.

In all fairness i reckon most lower level recruitment agencies across the country deal with scumbags

by Adam D Thu 21 May 2015, 11:18 am

Galted wrote:B*stards.

I thought that Tino said this word was uncensored

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:19 am

Tino has a tiny penis

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:22 am

DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:As this is a place of intelligence can someone suggest a word to describe an illegitimate child?

Sean?
Given that "b*stard" means "unwanted" I think "Sean" is a perfectly acceptable alternative

Saw a program on Bradford last night. Sheeesh
not sure of the relevance to you being used as a perfectly acceptable alternative to the word "b*stard"

You don't have to type 'b*stard'. The word 'Tino has a tiny penis' gets through the filters. Tino taught me that.

by The Womble Thu 21 May 2015, 11:23 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:As this is a place of intelligence can someone suggest a word to describe an illegitimate child?

Sean?
Given that "b*stard" means "unwanted" I think "Sean" is a perfectly acceptable alternative

Saw a program on Bradford last night. Sheeesh
not sure of the relevance to you being used as a perfectly acceptable alternative to the word "b*stard"

You don't have to type 'b*stard'. The word 'Tino has a tiny Winkle' gets through the filters. Tino taught me that.

Shouldn't that be the 'phrase' 'Tino has a tiny Winkle'?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 11:26 am

Adam, you're such a fatheaded Tino has a tiny penis.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:26 am

'Tino has a tiny penis' is a word not a phrase

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:27 am

could make the big 10k today if i continue to shirk the responsility of training family guy

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:31 am

seanmichaels wrote:could make the big 10k today if i continue to shirk the responsility of training family guy

Do something different for the big 10000 sean - tell the truth.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:34 am

The Womble wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:
Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:As this is a place of intelligence can someone suggest a word to describe an illegitimate child?

Sean?
Given that "b*stard" means "unwanted" I think "Sean" is a perfectly acceptable alternative

Saw a program on Bradford last night. Sheeesh
not sure of the relevance to you being used as a perfectly acceptable alternative to the word "b*stard"

You don't have to type 'b*stard'. The word 'Tino has a tiny Winkle' gets through the filters. Tino taught me that.

Shouldn't that be the 'phrase' 'Tino has a tiny Winkle'?

Good point. 'Winkle' only seems to get through as part of bastard - but then gets subsequently changed. A quirk of the filtering software I guess - it can't change something that's already been changed.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:35 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
seanmichaels wrote:could make the big 10k today if i continue to shirk the responsility of training family guy

Do something different for the big 10000 sean - tell the truth.

I may.

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Thu 21 May 2015, 11:36 am

Has someone changed the swear filter so that 'b*stard' comes up as 'Tino has a tiny Winkle'?

Here's a test...

Bastard.

If not, I'm getting very confused.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:39 am

bastard

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:39 am

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 11:40 am

It was like that JB, but now bastard is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

by Azzy Thu 21 May 2015, 11:41 am

Which bastard took the filter off then?

by Guest Thu 21 May 2015, 11:44 am

Has some bastard taken the filter off Tino's tiny Winkle so it's now enormous, but not as enormous as Sean reckons his is?

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Thu 21 May 2015, 11:48 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:It was like that JB, but now I am a twonk of the highest order is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

Presumably it was all the people discussing it that caused it to grow.

by Guest Thu 21 May 2015, 11:54 am

jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:It was like that JB, but now I am a twonk of the highest order is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

Presumably it was all the people discussing it that caused it to grow.

If that was the case then Sean's would be visible from space what with all the supermodels mentioning it more often that Carl Froch mentions knocking out 80,000 Wembley stadiums in front of George Groves

by The Womble Thu 21 May 2015, 12:54 pm

jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:It was like that JB, but now I am a twonk of the highest order is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

Presumably it was all the people discussing it that caused it to grow.

Maybe Tino has been lying and that has caused it to grow. Like a modern day Pinocchio.

by Silver Thu 21 May 2015, 12:59 pm

I don't know who put it up, but the Count of Monte Cristo gets my vote.

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Thu 21 May 2015, 1:02 pm

The Womble wrote:
jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:It was like that JB, but now I am a twonk of the highest order is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

Presumably it was all the people discussing it that caused it to grow.

Maybe Tino has been lying and that has caused it to grow. Like a modern day Pinocchio.

Maybe that's why politicians manage to be so popular with the ladies.

by jbeadlesbigrighthand Thu 21 May 2015, 1:03 pm

Silver wrote:I don't know who put it up, but the Count of Monte Cristo gets my vote.

Finally! Someone with some taste.

by Adam D Thu 21 May 2015, 1:11 pm

Was he the guy who invented the Monte Christo sandwich?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 1:12 pm

jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
The Womble wrote:
jbeadlesbigrighthand wrote:
JuliusHMarx wrote:It was like that JB, but now I am a twonk of the highest order is allowed again. I can only assume it's because Tino's winkle has grown in the meantime.

Presumably it was all the people discussing it that caused it to grow.

Maybe Tino has been lying and that has caused it to grow. Like a modern day Pinocchio.

Maybe that's why politicians manage to be so popular with the ladies.

It's my personality, charm and collection of Next jumpers that make me a hit with the ladies, Beadle.

Nothing to do with my massive wooden p*nis.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 1:19 pm

How is Kim?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 1:24 pm

Right at this moment, she is sat at her desk eating a tub of Singapore fried noodles with pulled pork that she has just bought from the deli down the road.

Smiling away, happy as you like. She engaged me in conversation in the kitchen the other day. She is delighted that her beloved Chelsea won the league again.

by **seanmichaels** Thu 21 May 2015, 1:30 pm

Pulled pork and noodles for lunch? Putting on some timber? I had feared she couldn't wait for me.

by Trebs Thu 21 May 2015, 1:43 pm

Someone's voted for me and taken it away Sad

by The Womble Thu 21 May 2015, 1:48 pm

Trebs wrote:Someone's voted for me and taken it away

Same thing happened to Galted

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Thu 21 May 2015, 1:52 pm

Fairly depressed by the literary standards of our voters.

Not at all surprised to find that Hero has nominated a book he doesn't like, which was his second choice because his first, another book he doesn't like, was already taken.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 1:56 pm

The Womble wrote:
Trebs wrote:Someone's voted for me and taken it away

Same thing happened to Galted

And Al Gore.

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 1:59 pm

Galted lost 2 votes. He hasn't been on since. Poor little lamb.

by The Womble Thu 21 May 2015, 2:01 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Galted lost 2 votes. He hasn't been on since. Poor little lamb.

I hope he's ok.

by The Womble Thu 21 May 2015, 2:02 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:
The Womble wrote:
Trebs wrote:Someone's voted for me and taken it away

Same thing happened to Galted

And Al Gore.

Maybe Galted is Al Gore.

Does Al Gore wear Gore-tex?

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 2:04 pm

I've know someone who works for Al Gore. Genuinely, I do. I'll ask him to find out if Gore wears Gore.

by **Galted** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:11 pm

his cup's
a farce
he takes it up the arse
Tino
Tino

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 2:12 pm

He's got
no votes
He sucks off blokes
Galted
Galted

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:12 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:I've know

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 2:16 pm

Jules wrote: Sherlock Homes.

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:20 pm

JuliusHMarx wrote:You w@nker Tino

by Mind the windows Tino. Thu 21 May 2015, 2:21 pm

Jules wrote: Can I w@nk you off, Tino?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:24 pm

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:
Jules wrote: Can I w@nk you off again, Tino?

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:25 pm

Phuck Homer, this is culture!

by Silver Thu 21 May 2015, 2:27 pm

It's like paint by numbers, but for books. You two will have the 50 Shades market cornered in no time at this rate Smile

Adam D wrote:Was he the guy who invented the Monte Christo sandwich?

Yes! He was also known to moonlight as MC CMC for a time.

by Guest Thu 21 May 2015, 2:30 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Fairly depressed by the literary standards of our voters.

Not at all surprised to find that Hero has nominated a book he doesn't like, which was his second choice because his first, another book he doesn't like, was already taken.

Hard to tell if people are nominating the "classics" because they read/enjoyed them or are simply appealing to the populist vote. Same goes for people who listen to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" or Bach's "Air on a G String" or Beethoven's Fifth. They look ignorant no matter how much they actually like it because they're surrounded by people who value ideas (including the idea that they're clever/unusual/difference) rather than experience. The sort of people who think it's better to admire something than actually like it....

....also known as c*nts!!!!!

by **JuliusHMarx** Thu 21 May 2015, 2:40 pm

Best not to mention G String with sean around. There will no doubt be a ~~completely made-up fantasy~~ completely true story of sexual conquest forthcoming.

by Rowley Thu 21 May 2015, 2:44 pm

DAVE667 wrote:

Not at all surprised to find that Hero has nominated a book he doesn't like, which was his second choice because his first, another book he doesn't like, was already taken.

Hard to tell if people are nominating the "classics" because they read/enjoyed them or are simply appealing to the populist vote. Same goes for people who listen to Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" or Bach's "Air on a G String" or Beethoven's Fifth. [/quote]

Never trust any man who picks the fifth over the glorious ninth for Beethoven Dave. Agree about those classical types Dave, now jazz listeners on the other hand, those boys are cultured up to the eyeballs.

by Rowley Thu 21 May 2015, 2:44 pm

Michaelsed that I am a twonk of the highest order right up.

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What is the best piece of fiction written by a European?