14th Press Conference (Week 12 Matches)

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Tue 19 Feb 2019, 10:40 am

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?

8. What shoes are you wearing?

9. Which insect is the best?

10. Which of these questions was the worst?

by Marky Tue 19 Feb 2019, 12:20 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Probably Rof. Those damn Scots and their obsession with independence...

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
Of the four, I'd say FGR are the favourites, I'll go with them but it could easily be any of the four.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
Chasing Mediocrity - The Crawley Town Story

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
Main - Burger King, XL Bacon Double Cheeseburger
Side - KFC, 3 Hot Wings
Fries - McDonalds, by default
Drink - KFC, Milkybar Krushems

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
Yes, but only if he buys a ticket. Not having him waltz up trying to blag freebies.

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Lionel Hutz. Untouchable.

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
Probably the multiple fracture to my ankle, that I then stood up on (thinking it was sprained) and promptly dislocated, went full Luc Nilis. Three years out of 6-a-side, few months of being miserable as f*ck and nearly losing a marriage over it. I can laugh now though

8. What shoes are you wearing?
Brown slip on shoes, for work, because my uniform is all black and I'm a bit of a rebel.

9. Which insect is the best?
A daddy long legs. Completely useless creatures. Yet somehow majestic.

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
Q7 is the one that made me feel sad. F*ck you Chris. F*ck you.

by **Hero** Tue 19 Feb 2019, 12:41 pm

1. Trebs, he’ll get stroppy over TM at some point and come up with his own version which no-one will then join.
2. Carlisle are on a roll but my money is on FGR as the best team.
3. Silk Road to Ruin. How one man’s dream became a club’s nightmare.
4. TBH I don’t often go to them. Erm some spicy chicken from KFC, don’t know who does what sides wise, something with jalapenos in? McDs milkshake.
5. Yeah sure he’d love to sit next to Sol Campbell, Andy Cole and Shaun Goater.
6. Ned Flanders or Moe
7. Having to ref kids matches and put up with parents giving you abuse.
8. Pretty normal for me, Adidas cloudform trainers as going straight out for a jog once finished work.
9. Praying Mantis, they just look awesome
10. This one. The fast food one afterwards, Subway tends to be the fastfood choice of my kids.

by Azzy Tue 19 Feb 2019, 1:16 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Me. Especially if that Independent League is sponsored by The Entertainer.

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
Could not care less. I'll say Bury, because their name has the fewest letters.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
"Ugh: A season of not giving a crap"

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
20 piece bucket. No side, fries or drink, they get in the way.

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
Yes, there are hardly any random blacks in Colchester.

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Principal Skinner. Reminds me of Trebs.

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
I got sent off in a cup final on my debut for my school, 2 mins after coming off the bench. Me and my best mate broke each other's noses, both going up for the same ball, missing it, and headbutting each other. I broke my wrist saving a penalty, then scored a hat-trick up front wearing a sling. But being nutmegged by Paul Peschisolido in Monkspath Park in the mid-90s was the worst thing I've ever seen happen. I was mortified.

8. What shoes are you wearing?
Curiously, I'm not. I'm at my desk having lunch, and have kicked the mothers off.

9. Which insect is the best?
Stick insect. Gives us all something to aspire to.

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
The one about who's winning the tinpot cup. I don't understand any fake online manager who cares whether his team wins or loses. I play a 64-rated RM at AM week-in, week-out, because I don't care if I win, I just want to see that Japanese saucepot playing in my game heart

by Fernando Tue 19 Feb 2019, 1:39 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then? Trebs cos he's a Frak shambles of a tactician

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it? Gotta go for the League & Cup Double since down to 4

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one) Grim to Bae #NoRegrets

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
Chicken Royale
KFC Fries
MaccyD's Apple Pie
Strawberry milkshale

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games? I need something to lure in the racists/nonces of lower leagues so may use him as a mascot

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family? Ralph. Anyone else is a liar and a fraud

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch? I got subbed on after an injury in the 65th minute then subbed off again in 80th for being Poopie and missing an open goal twice.

8. What shoes are you wearing? none im at home, im not a farmer.

9. Which insect is the best? Buttefly

10. Which of these questions was the worst? Liam Neeson by a distance

by BamBam Tue 19 Feb 2019, 1:45 pm

Only nonces like KFC fries

by nadeem2099 Tue 19 Feb 2019, 1:51 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
I honestly don't think anyone would defect tbh. This league is the best there is, the best that was, the best there ever will be.

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
I'm going for Bury. They haven't got a manager telling them what to do and they are free to express themselves whatever way they want on the pitch with no limitations.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
Sun Tzu - Dynasties may fall, but Crewe will rise!

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
I'll be honest I don't eat from any of those. These bug multinational businesses are not deserving of my money. There's a local milkshake shop I go to which I would rather help sustain and support with my custom.

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
Yes, but he has to sit in between Akinfenwa and Terry Crews.

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Comic Book Guy. He reminds me of Marky.

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
Getting hit in the face with a football at point blank range, made all the worse as I was wearing glasses and they shattered and the pieces went into my eye and retina and I sadly lost my eyesight. But now I'm daredevil so it's all good Cool

8. What shoes are you wearing?
As Sun Tzu once famously said "It is very important to wear good footwear in a battle. It may be the difference between life and death. A strong warrior with inadequate footwear may slip and lose his footing, the enemy will take advantage and the superior warrior will be slain. A person's footwear is as important as his sword and armour. Choose your footwear carefully, as it may be the difference between winning and losing"

9. Which insect is the best?
Praying Mantis.

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
None of them. It was a privilege answering them.

by **Afro** Tue 19 Feb 2019, 9:12 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Nad - someone will promise him the chance to sign a whole squad of Real players and he won't be able to resist!

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?

I fancy Forest Green. He's got a lot of good players who were on my list. Grimsby look the strongest, but I just have this feeling for Forest Green.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)

Morecambe on your face. A tale of the last end of season trip to Blackpool

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?

Double Whopper from Burger King, McD's fries and KFC hot wings. And a McD's Banana shake.

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?

Yes, as it keeps him off the streets looking for people

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?

CHief Wiggum.

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?

Played a game at Ashton Gate a few years back. Was my first game for about 10 years, super unfit and playing on what felt like a massive professional pitch. Nearly killed me.

8. What shoes are you wearing?

At the moment, none.

9. Which insect is the best?

The ant. They're boss, working hard and carrying massive weight on their shoulders, and you never hear them complain about it!

10. Which of these questions was the worst?

The shoes one

by Renege Tue 19 Feb 2019, 9:50 pm

1. None, they’d make an arse of the exit and end up failing to agree terms on the new league. They’d have to come crawling back once the realisation that they were lead astray by Tory kumquat false promises.

2. Grimsby are flying in the league, they’re the team to beat.

3. Mansfield cany kick a ball - A true pish story

4. Main - KFC - Zinger stacker burger
Side - MacyDees - Cheeseburger
Chips - Burger King by default
Drink - Just a Diet Coke mate

5. Yes the man has a pair of balls and is honest to admit his mistakes. These unempethetic outraged jokers should show some understanding, this was a young man forty years ago who grew up in Belfast a catholic, the moral outrage is laughable. Ignorance breeds ignorance, thankfully we’ve moved on from those times and so has he.

6. The knifey spoony guy

7. Was playing out in the sticks against some small town team in the Scottish youth cup, go on a run down the wing and one of their local hard men on his big day out let’s his Staffy chase after me. Almost certain I was like Tom trying to run watching over his shoulder as Jerry trys take a bite out his ass. Luckily was only a small thing got me in the ankle/boot while running and the back swing of my boot and the commotion of the other team did enough for to get it and me away

8. Smart black work shoes

9. Ants, ant man was surprisingly good film. Anyone that likes praying mantis must have a thing for their psycho ex, the females eat the males after sex...

10. None, good questions cheers made the train home quicker clap

by Take a boo Wed 20 Feb 2019, 8:55 am

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Going on previous experience I would have to say Trebs.

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
Given the form of Carlisle and Grimsby its going to be tough however we fancy our chances against any opponent.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
Run Forest Run

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
Bacon Double Cheeseburger from Burger King, McDonalds fries and KFC hot wings. Drink would have to be a strawberry shake from McDonald's.

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
So long as he's Vegan.

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Groundskeeper Willie.

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
Not so much on the pitch however I remember playing my first game of Men's football at 15 and earning man of the match. As was the custom, I was then forced to stand on a chair and down a yard of ale in front of the entire club, which I immediately brought back up all over the clubhouse floor. It was a real introduction into the Men's game!

8. What shoes are you wearing?
Smart work shoes

9. Which insect is the best?
Ants

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
The previous one

by Fluxy Wed 20 Feb 2019, 12:29 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Can't see anyone doing it, the league is quite stable at the moment.

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
We are! Although I can see Grimsby and Forest Green being tough obstacles.

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
"Carlisle don't do football teams... but if they did..."

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
Bacon Double Cheeseburger / Hot Wings / McDonalds Fries / McDonalds Strawberry Milkshake

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
He can, from the safety of his own VIP area behind the bus shelter in the park and ride down the road.

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Groundskeeper Willie, but for a different answer Hank Scorpio

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
Being part of a side that lost 21-0. Or saving a potential goal with my face, for the rebound to then end up going in anyway.

8. What shoes are you wearing?
Desert boots - wellies later

9. Which insect is the best?
Ants

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
The previous one.

by Trebs Wed 20 Feb 2019, 1:39 pm

1. There are certainly flaws in the league setup, but I can deal with that. The bigger issue is that I get far less enjoyment from a FIFA league than from the 'old' traditional' leagues. I must say that others seem to have taken to the FIFA league though and that's great.

32 weeks is a long time and as we near the halfway stage I actually can't see myself here at the end of the season. There's no enjoyment in it anymore for me, as it's lost what made these leagues fun. Thanks to Nadz for bringing me back in it, you're one of the best guys on here and it's been an honour to have Nick and Viva on my coaching team. There's a few others on here who really are great guys.

To be clear though, I won't be spearheading any breakaway or independent league. I will also be handing in a set of tactics on a weekly basis for the time being.

2. It all comes down to luck on any given day really - Carlisle.

3. Disjointed - The BrExeter City Strategy.

4. KFC Chicken, McDonald's fries and a Coca Cola. If KFC offered proper Coke instead of Pepsi it would be a whitewash though.

5. I can confirm that Adebayo Akinfenwa has been in touch and personally offered him a season ticket. He said he was too busy to attend though.

6. Liam Neeson

7. Playing in goal in a new six a side team for a friend of a friend. Getting a passback a couple of minutes in and having the ball roll under my foot. Think Gary Neville and Paul Robinson, without the divot. I just lost concentration. But I blamed everyone and everything around me because taking responsibility sucks.

8. I wear safety boots at work every day.

9. Bees.

10. Question 1 has really brought out the worst in me. But Dolph, don't be so negative on yourself - you're the best Press Conference man we've ever had.

by Trebs Wed 20 Feb 2019, 1:39 pm

1. There are certainly flaws in the league setup, but I can deal with that. The bigger issue is that I get far less enjoyment from a FIFA league than from the 'old' traditional' leagues. I must say that others seem to have taken to the FIFA league though and that's great.

32 weeks is a long time and as we near the halfway stage I actually can't see myself here at the end of the season. There's no enjoyment in it anymore for me, as it's lost what made these leagues fun. Thanks to Nadz for bringing me back in it, you're one of the best guys on here and it's been an honour to have Nick and Viva on my coaching team. There's a few others on here who really are great guys.

To be clear though, I won't be spearheading any breakaway or independent league. I will also be handing in a set of tactics on a weekly basis for the time being.

2. It all comes down to luck on any given day really - Carlisle.

3. Disjointed - The BrExeter City Strategy.

4. KFC Chicken, McDonald's fries and a Coca Cola. If KFC offered proper Coke instead of Pepsi it would be a whitewash though.

5. I can confirm that Adebayo Akinfenwa has been in touch and personally offered him a season ticket. He said he was too busy to attend though.

6. Liam Neeson

7. Playing in goal in a new six a side team for a friend of a friend. Getting a passback a couple of minutes in and having the ball roll under my foot. Think Gary Neville and Paul Robinson, without the divot. I just lost concentration. But I blamed everyone and everything around me because taking responsibility sucks.

8. I wear safety boots at work every day.

9. Bees.

10. Question 1 has really brought out the worst in me. But Dolph, don't be so negative on yourself - you're the best Press Conference man we've ever had.

by TwisT Wed 20 Feb 2019, 2:11 pm

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?

Trebs......I think it is due around about now.

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?

Bury for me

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)

How past winners fail......a guide to tweaking

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?

Whopper, KFC Coleslaw, Maccy D Fries - Wimpy Choc Milkshake

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?

More the merrier to attend twistyball

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?

Mr Burns

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?

Usually playing at all is a worst experience! I remember I got a fly in my eye and missed a simple pass which led to a goal. Oh and being told to stop saying back door all the time

8. What shoes are you wearing?

Trainers at the mo

9. Which insect is the best?

Wasp; something so little causing so much drama when you can argue a simple fly is actually more hazardous to your health

10. Which of these questions was the worst?

Who would win the hardcore cup....it was league related.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Fri 22 Feb 2019, 12:19 am

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?
Hero, so all he has to do is stream one match a week against obvious co-defector Trebs

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?
Grimsby have the clearer path

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)
Old-fashioned whingers

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?
Big Brekkie Burger from McD's (if you dont have it there, look it up), Hungry Jack's (Aussie BK) chips (they have chicken salt on), KFC popcorn chicken - frozen coke from McD

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?
Yes

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?
Lenny (I do have a Lenny tattoo), Lionel Hutz or Troy McClure

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?
I once took a shot so hard to the balls that I spent 3 days in hospital

8. What shoes are you wearing?
None, I'm in bed

9. Which insect is the best?
All insects are pointless

10. Which of these questions was the worst?
Neeson

by BamBam Fri 22 Feb 2019, 10:37 am

1. The season lasts for 32 weeks - which one of us is most likely to have defected to an Independent League by then?

Trebs - 4/6
Azzy - Evens

2. Forest Green and Carlisle, Bury and Grimsby are the four teams left in the Hardcore Cup - who is gonna win it?

FGR look like they have had the best performances of any team this season, but as we all know, cup games are anyones

3. What is the name of your team's/season's Netflix documentary? (similar to the Sunderland one)

Fyre Festival 2 - the story of how a dream was sold to so many, then went up in flames

4. KFC/Burger King/McDonald's - one main, one side, one fries and a drink from any - you can only choose from each one once (other than drink) - what is the meal you create?

Zinger Tower, McDonald's fries, KFC wings and gravy (yeah I'm cheating)

5. Is Liam Neeson allowed to attend your home games?

No he fookin isn't. But I'm not telling him, will send my 2 starting centre backs to pass on the message

6. Who is the best Simpson's character outside of the family?

Millhouse - or as I think of him, Olly

7. What is your worst experience on a football pitch?

Chasing down a short pass to the opposition keeper, only for him to beat me to it and absolutely nail the ball full power into my gonads. Pretty sure that was worse than the separate occasions where I tore my ankle ligaments and broke the other ankle

8. What shoes are you wearing?

Adidas trainers. Why do you want to know you freak

9. Which insect is the best?

Bumblebee's are the only useful insect

10. Which of these questions was the worst?

Either the shoes or the insect

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