The Culture cup Presents: The Cumquat Cup - The Semi-Finals - Tim Martin vs Katie Hopkins

We have one female survivor, the lone "lady" is the failed-Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins. She comes off against Wetherspoons' Tim Martin, Britain's Brexit Barman. 

Hopkins just beat Julia Hartley-Brewer, an encounter that would have brought no complaints had it been a final. And Hopkins smashed it. 

Martin took down Jeremy Kyle in probably the weakest tie of the round. Can he step up against this brash woman of hate?

This is tough as all hell. Need to give it more thought before I vote.

Clearly it has to be Hopkins. I still don't know who Tim Martin is. Someone definitely told me in a previous round but whoever it was, was probably a c*nt, so I paid no attention.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Clearly it has to be Hopkins. I still don't know who Tim Martin is. Someone definitely told me in a previous round but whoever it was, was probably a c*nt, so I paid no attention.

LIW if you would be so kind...

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Clearly it has to be Hopkins. I still don't know who Tim Martin is. Someone definitely told me in a previous round but whoever it was, was probably a c*nt, so I paid no attention.

LIW if you would be so kind...

He's the very brexity friend of the Tories best known as the man behind the Weatherspoons pub chain. He looks (and probably sounds) like a less coherent and much hairier version of Father Jack.

Most recently he's been in the news bemoaning the lack of cheap EU staff, although he's now denying it
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57314682

lostinwales wrote:

rIck_dAgless wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Clearly it has to be Hopkins. I still don't know who Tim Martin is. Someone definitely told me in a previous round but whoever it was, was probably a c*nt, so I paid no attention.

LIW if you would be so kind...

He's the very brexity friend of the Tories best known as the man behind the Weatherspoons pub chain. He looks (and probably sounds) like a less coherent and much hairier version of Father Jack.

Most recently he's been in the news bemoaning the lack of cheap EU staff, although he's now denying it
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-57314682

Perfect.

Tim Martin is a bit of tw*t but on the flipside cheap booze.

Katie Hopkins however is just pure grade a C*nt, on the flipside...

When you peel back the layers, Hopkins is just a rent-a-gob who said increasingly controversial stuff to keep herself in the limelight until she established a large enough following of thick racists, so she just panders to them now.

Tim Martin has managed to convince people he is a successful businessman despite his business model being as simple as “sell Poopie beer cheaply”. A few of my favourite Tim Martin moments:

- convincing people that Brexit would be a good thing because it would allow us to do trade deal with countries outside the EU. To prove this point he started selling a range of beers, wines and spirits from these countries. While we were still EU members.

- telling his staff to go and work for Tesco while furloughed, and refusing to top up the governments payments to 100% of their wages despite Wetherspoons making £1.8bn turnover.

- calling for more EU immigration to help his pubs after campaigning furiously for the exact opposite.

Even looking at him from outside the Brexit argument, the man is a Kumquat who treats his customers like idiots and his staff like Poopie. Frak Tim Martin - and all business owners like him.

Soul Requiem wrote:Tim Martin is a bit of tw*t but on the flipside cheap booze.

Katie Hopkins however is just pure grade a C*nt, on the flipside...

... that tastes like detergent. Must be company policy to stick gallons of bleach through the pipes on an hourly basis. I've worked and drank in all kinds of pubs, but have never tasted anything as consistently bad as a Wetherspoons pint.

For that reason, I'm voting for the c**t.

superflyweight wrote:

Soul Requiem wrote:Tim Martin is a bit of tw*t but on the flipside cheap booze.

Katie Hopkins however is just pure grade a C*nt, on the flipside...

... that tastes like detergent.  Must be company policy to stick gallons of bleach through the pipes on an hourly basis.  I've worked and drank in all kinds of pubs, but have never tasted anything as consistently bad as a Wetherspoons pint.  

For that reason, I'm voting for the c**t.  

Think of the positives of that Fly, all the undesirables who don't bother you when you're enjoying whatever drink it is in any other pub because they're too busy lining up rows of cheap Jagermeister in the local Wetherspoons.

Used to drink every Saturday afternoon in a pub in Dundee that was deadly quiet at that time of day. Generally just me and my mate sat at the bar talking to the landlord. A group of about a dozen neds/chavs clearly on a session came in, took one look at the three of us and the horse racing on the TV and decided it was far too exciting for them and left.

I doubt I've ever been happier.

Tiger Tim's finally won a semi-final. Amazing.

Having seen the first minute of the No Lockdown Anymore video, James Corden needs an emergency reintroduction into the competition.