Worst player to ever play test cricket for England

First topic message reminder :

Following on from the topic listing the best players that have never played for England, who in your opinion is the worst player to have ever played test cricket for England?

A few suggestions :

Mcgrath (the yorkshire player, not the rather better aussie fellow)
Salisbury
Schofield
Mike Smith

Guys - thanks for such surprisingly positive comments on a 'worst ever' thread.

Mad for Chelsea - Taylor was selected to tour the West Indies with England in the 1980s. He was quickly dubbed 'Lord Lucan' as he was never seen on the pitch due to a mixture of bad form and niggling injuries. Like his Lordship, Taylor also had a ridiculous moustache. Taylor was also a genuine number eleven - I'll leave others to draw comparisons between his batting and Lucan's.

I accept I may have been a bit harsh on Clarke. Surrey bias.

Particularly good calls on Maddy and Blakey.

How, Corporal, could I have overlooked Adams as an 'immense' cricket manager?

I think it's a bit harsh on Lathwell. I personally think he could have been a damn fine player in a different era (not too dissimilar to Ian Bell perhaps).

Maddy? Goodness me I remember that...

Rikki Clarke took 3 for 30 today against Somerset - with that sort of form he is probably in line for the chop from this team.

OK, so here's what I come up with for the worst teams of the 80s and 90s

80s:
Wilf Slack
Paul Terry
Matthew Maynard
Rob Bailey
Paul Parker
Chris Cowdrey
David Capel
Paul Downton
John Childs
Neal Radford
Jonathon Agnew (sorry Aggers, but you deserve it)

90s
Alan Wells
Steve James
Jason Gallian
Aftab Habib
Darren Maddy
Richard Blakey (narrowly keeping out Warren Hegg on their respective keeping ability)
Gavin Hamilton
Ian Salisbury
Min Patel
Martin McCague
Paul Taylor.

Imagine a match between the two line-ups - would the lack of penetration of the bowling be off-set by the incompetence of the batting line-up in either side?

Oh yes Steve James! And Aftab Habib! My goodness I'd forgotten those. A bit harsh on Maynard and Patel who were probably better players than their records at test level suggest. I'd go for Schoefield for Patel personally...

Mike

Only reason Schofield isn't there is that he debuted in 2000, so just must misses the 90s era.

I agree with the likes of Maynard, perhaps Maddy and Patel, being unlucky in that they were good (even very good) county players who only got a couple of matches at Test level and didn't have the opportunity to establish themselves. However, their (short) test career's were not exactly glorious. England do now seem to have grasped that giving a county player 2 matches to prove his international credentials is not really enough.

I did consider doing a team of one cap wonders, against a side of players with more than one cap

what about uzman afzaal? I know he got his chance due to injuries, but there must have been better players available than him.

Its interesting reading so many names on here that I had completely forgotten about e.g. Aftab Habib and Min Patel. How much were the selectors drinking when watching county cricket?

Gareth Batty,poor bowler and batter god knows how he kept getting back into the England side.

Ah yes the requirement for players of the 90s side to have actually been picked in the 90s... Sorry.

Paul Collingwood.

OK he could field but it was a joke that his was in the test team for so long.

BATH_BTGOG wrote:Paul Collingwood.

OK he could field but it was a joke that his was in the test team for so long.

harsh

but true!

Bath

Collingwood was a much maligned cricketer. He may not have been the most naturally gifted player ever, but he had a test batting average over 40 (the mark of a good player), was a useful extra seamer and was an outstanding fielder. Heck, South Africa picked Jonty Rhodes for many years, and his batting record was no where near as good as Collingwood's (he may have been an even better fielder though).

It's a pity that you couldn't combine Collingwood's mentality with Bell's technical ability - that would make one outstanding batsman rather than one good one and one very good one.

Aftab Habib! goodness me I'd forgotten about him...

How about Ian Austin? Did he ever play for England - i can't remember?!

He was quite awful though, and if he did manage to grab a cap or 2 i'm sure he wouldn't be out of place here.

Don't think he ever played test match Cricket for England but I would agree just didn't deliver for England and all-round wasn't a brilliant county player either.

don't think Austin ever played a test match. Seem to remember him doing half-OK in some ODIs (with the ball)

Seem to remember austin being picked for the 50 over world cup in England, must have been 1999, but don't think he ever made a test appearance.

I guess I somehow knew that somebody would mention Collingwood, 68 matches is probably a few too many to allow entry into the category for the worst test player

I can still remember watching Alan Wells' dismissal! What a 'mare he had. Also votes for these guys, who all played during my living memory (mid-90s and beyond): Simon Brown, Jason Gallian, Chris Schofield. Probably some more -- will have to think about it!

LondonLion

Wikipedia provides a good list of England test players, broken down by decade - you'll find quite a few more shockers on there

dummy_half wrote:LondonLion

Wikipedia provides a good list of England test players, broken down by decade - you'll find quite a few more shockers on there

Oh wow, some serious tripe on there.

rose
lathwell
ward
habib
adams
cowdrey
blakey (w)
pigott
salisbury
mcCague
pattinson

now this is an awful england test xi

Fernando
Salisbury ahead of Schofield? Must have been a lot of discussion in the selection committee about that one.

Also, no self-respecting worst England 11 can miss out the awesome contribution of Gavin Hamilton - picked as an all-rounder and in his one match clearly demonstrated his all round ability as a test player with a pair and no wickets at about 4 an over.

Pattinson, although he should not have been picked, was not as bad as some make out - he at least got a coupe of wickets.

Oh Ian ward! Forgotten about him. Although again in the noughties rather than the 90s right?

How about Jimmy Ormond? That said, in his two tests the two wickets he picked up were Dravid and Ponting! You could probably make an argument for Aggers to be there or there abouts too.

Ian Blackwell has played a test for England as well. Decent in limited overs, but never a test player.

Given our predilection for picking players of their type, I would guess the worst player to play for England would probably be either a standard county trundler or a 'new Botham' all-rounder.

"Seem to remember austin being picked for the 50 over world cup in England, must have been 1999, but don't think he ever made a test appearance."

If they had walk-on music in those days I imagine it would have been "roll out the barrel"

Jimmy Ormond I think he must be there or thereabouts for selection.

Jimmy Ormond should however be commended for his sledge towards Mark Waugh. Classic!

I'm sure you've all heard it, but if you haven't, or if you'd like to hear it again:

Mark Waugh to Jimmy Ormond on his Test debut, 2001: “Mate, what are you doing out here? There's no way you're good enough to play for England.”
Ormond: “Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my own family.”

There's a decent Surrey line up of candidates emerging.....

Ian Ward
Afzaal
Rikki Clarke
Adam Hollioake (good capt - but not test quality player)
Chris Schofield (was Lancs when he played test cricket)
Gareth Batty
Ian Salisbury
Jimmy Ormond

Corporal - in order to make up a ''worst ever'' England test side with Surrey connections, you could add Ian Greig and Chris Lewis to the middle order with seamer Paul Taylor coming in at number eleven.

Cricinfo refer to Greig as ''fortunate'' to play for England and describe him as being ''a scaled down version'' of his brother Tony - ''less tall ....less loud .... less ability''.

Lewis (a test player before joining Surrey) had ability but insufficient application and even less common sense. Rather than comment upon anything in more recent times, I'll just refer to the occasion in the West Indies when he fielded all day without a sun hat having shaved his head and missed the next few days with sun stroke!

If Taylor is a household name, it will only be in his own home. He is now apparently Surrey's Director of Cricket development and played a couple of pretty anonymous test in the early nineties when a county pro at Northants.

Guildford - very tactful to draw a veil over more recent activities by Chris Lewis!

With the help of two of Guildford's fine additions - for which thanks - the team of worst England players from Surrey is nearly complete. Tho' I've left Taylor on the bench as the Surrey connection seemed a bit tenuous at the point he was playing cricket. We are lacking a wicket keeper - a serious omission. I think it would probably be unfair to select Jack Richards who for a very brief period looked good as an England keeper who could bat and once hit a pretty rapid century. Any other suggestions?

Ian Ward
Afzaal
Rikki Clarke
Adam Hollioake (good capt - but not test quality player)
Chris Schofield (played T20 for England while at Surrey - albeit selected for tests earlier, while he was at Lancs)
Ian Greig
Chris Lewis
Gareth Batty
Ian Salisbury
Jimmy Ormond

What's remarkable about this team is the preponderance of lower middle order players who were neither good enough as batsmen nor as bowlers.

Tufnell and Pattinson are both awful, awful picks.

Engage your brains or do some research before spouting such rubbish.

Gavin Hamilton was a good shout.

Anyway, Aftab Habib.

Stuart Broad according to current internet trending