Proper Rugby

A story from Proper Rugby.

"I was on the wing on Saturday. I didn't get the ball once. I was so cold I peed myself just to keep warm, twice."

Would you like to share some real world rugby experiences?

Nice story Glas a du.
When I used to play Prop in my early 20's I did look at the scrum as a chance to have a rest and a breather, I got the impression everyone else was doing the same at our club, hence why are scrum wasn't the toughest unit in the league.

Walked out of the changing room to play a mtach for trinity against Kew Occasionals I was playing scrumhalf.

Found out that their scrumhalf was ex-all black Robinson from the justin marshall days!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mark_Robinson_(scrum-half)

For a very slow minute I debated going down with cramp during the warm up!

Then there was the time that I had cramp in both legs when playing for 'Y Geltaidd' in an inter hall rugby match in Aberystwyth Uni. Our 'physio' was our only sub and spectator and had to go on in my place (even though I was a prop and he was a winger) meaning I had nobody to stretch out my legs and I had to drag myself to the touchline. I watched the remaining ten minutes lying on the touch line having occasional spasms of cramp, much to the mirth of my team mates.

I once talked a very hungover and green looking prop into bringing up his breakfast on the pitch. Unfortunately it must have been just what he needed co he played much better thereafter.

Played against Italian U21 side at University

We played in Sicliy, home of the mafia

We were warned not to win

We needed no warning, this was not going to happen

When they walked out their scrum half was bigger than me and i was 6'2....I felt sick.

It was the biggest pitch in the world...by the time you had got from one side to the other the season had changed.

That night someone took a Poopie in my boots.

Are you sure that wasn't you?

Glas a du wrote:Are you sure that wasn't you?

Perhaps it was...hadn't thought of that. For years i thought it was the scrum half. I kept failing to protect him at the base...i am sure one of their back row players was a wise guy...there was a fella on the touchline wearing a trilby and shades ffs.

When on a rugby trip to Paris, on the Pigale, a guy with a trilby, shades and a full length leather coat strides down the street. The patron of a strip club holds his hand out and the guy takes the contents without missing a beat blithely transfering whatever he'd had into his inside pocket, only touching the brim of the hat in acknowledgement whilst striding to the next place. French strip clubs are Poopie though.

At my uni team our training sessions only ever consisted of touch and line-outs (no idea what the backs did when we were doing line-outs). We had the best catch and drive around and we won the league off the back of it.

at our old club we used to have magic mushrooms growing at one end. By the end of the first half our full back was a broken man...

our u17s team used to sing the advert for club biscuits going into every scrum. "if you like a lot of chocolate on your biscuit join our club..." quite off putting. we also used to do massively over the top pushing sounds which got us penalised on tour in cardiff for taking the pee out of our opposition...

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving with Christmas approaching.

Some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years. Well, I had done something about it!

A couple of nights ago my wife and I were out for pre-Christmas drinks with some friends and had a few too many bourbons as well as some Sauvignon Blanc and some rather nice cabernet; but knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before - I took a bus home.

We arrived back home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, because I had never driven a bus before and am not even sure where I got this one.

On tour in Ireland there were majorl protests when they wanted to close the hotel bar at a very early hour like 3 am however when the bouncer pulled out a revolver I think we became sober in about 3 seconds before trooping off to bed very meekly .

That reminds me of Graham Price and Charlie Faulkener trying to get home from Cardiff after winning the 1976 Grand Slam (or was it 1978). It was too late for the train and they had no money for a taxi. They stumbled across a Bus depot. Faulkener goes in and starts shifting buses around in the back. After a bit Price had had enough "Charlie what are you doing mun" "the bus to Pontypool is back here" "don't be so blydi stupid will you, the bus to Blackwood is in the front here, we can walk from there!"

Gatts wrote:
That night someone took a Poopie in my boots.

Sorry Gatts

I once tackled a guy and in doing so managed to pull his shorts and underpants right down to his ankles. Unfortunately, I 'landed awkwardly' and spent the ensuing ruck (which seemed interminably long) only millimetres from his a**hole, and unable to retire to a safe distance because I was pinned down by several rather heavy forwards.

Mr Fishpaste with a name like that I bet you were tempted!

We went on tour to Jersey. The performance enhancing drugs were doled out to those that way inclined on the bus for 'use later'. It was only in St Hellier though I realised it was a tour with a difference. We didn't actually have any games to play! I did manage however to get banned from every pub on the island for tipping the water from the Johny Walker jug into the drip tray on the bar. It sounds innocuous, but to be fair I'd had four warnings!

On tour in Edinburgh we had a game that whoever wasn't wearing their shoes at any stage (showering and sleeping included) could have their shoes stolen and once stolen anything could happen. One of the lads took them off in a moment of absent mindedness at the hostel one night, (a bad call he was the only one to bring only one pair of shoes) and our no.8 picked and went (literally)! Clattered down the stairs with Ara close behind. They got out on to the main road and Ara caught him but our 8 kept him at arms distance with a mighty handoff and then just before he was brought to ground he threw the most amazing offload.

Ara's shoes sailed through the air and landed on top of a bus.....heading to Newcastle!!!!!

Here's a link to an article on rugby memories.

Once played against Leicester u19s and the year before one of their players had been brain damaged in a collapsed scrum and they wanted us to kick off and let this unfortunate chap score a try as he could now walk, run etc despite horrific mental injuries. Should not laugh but our second row missed the ref explaining we had to let the lad score and dive all over the place to make it look good and after he had ran 40 metres hit him with a huge tackle knocking him out cold.

The lad bounced up a minute later and kept on running. Most amusing and disturbing rugby incident I have been in

Hmmm, yeah, didn't hear, hmmm.

On a rare occasion when I actually started a game I hurt my arm playing (opposition's knee landed on it when it was in an awkward position on the floor). Our fullback who was a paramedic took a look at it and said it would be fine. He started to strap it before he went back on the field and left some of the opposition supporters (away game) to finish strapping it. My arm was clearly broken, when I held it out straight there was a dip in it, so I thought it best to be subbed despite my captain clearly thinking I was a wimp, well fair play I was a wing not a forward. My arm was broken just above the wrist in two places.

Playing again Bletchley U17s we went there and it was immediately obvious that they weren't in any way interested in playing a game of rugby but would rather be fighting. We beat them 0-72. Very satisfying. In the return match we were just going down into a scrum when there second row punched our loosehead and made him drop to his knees crying. I had to put my arm round him after that... Very embarassing but we still cained them 54-0.

To be fair they were playing chess.

anonmattyt wrote:Once played against Leicester u19s and the year before one of their players had been brain damaged in a collapsed scrum and they wanted us to kick off and let this unfortunate chap score a try as he could now walk, run etc despite horrific mental injuries. Should not laugh but our second row missed the ref explaining we had to let the lad score and dive all over the place to make it look good and after he had ran 40 metres hit him with a huge tackle knocking him out cold.

The lad bounced up a minute later and kept on running. Most amusing and disturbing rugby incident I have been in

haha. terrible but that made me laugh a lot.

We against a team who's hooker was deaf and dumb. It wasn't surprising given that they were a fishing village with a reputation for inbreeding. Their captain came into our dressing room and told us the score "oh and if he hits you, don't hit him back, it's just that he doesn't understand..."

Flip great

The most common stories i know are from when i was in school. We were a decent side but being a small sized high school compared to most, we were never the best. So when it came to playing the better and bigger teams, we used to shorten the pitch to gain some sort of advantage (god knows how). Well you should have seen the amount of disallowed tries from both sides as they forgot that the try line was now the deadball line.

Blues, my primary school was so small we had to join another primary school to play in a Sevens competition!

Yes but if girls were allowed to play then you'd have won it hands down between the quarrymen and farmers daughters