Inaugural 606v2 Major Championship Banter Tournament

by Il Gialloblu Wed 30 May 2012, 4:48 pm

First topic message reminder :

The Short Premise

Get a team assigned, big them up and belittle your opponents, win awards... and have fun.

The Original Long Premise

Spoiler:

The Awards

Insult of the Tournament (within site rules)
Verbal Comeback of the Tournament
Pun of the Tournament
Outlandish Prediction Come Good of the Tournament
Egg-on-the-Face of the Tournament

+ more to be revealed later (when I think of them)

The Groups

Group A

Poland - GG
Greece - martyr_94
Russia - mystiroakey
Czech Republic - owen10ozzy

Group B

Netherlands - TheBrahmaBull
Denmark - Il Gialloblu
Germany - mobilemaster8
Portugal - Gregers

Group C

Spain - compelling and rich
Italy - King Beer
Republic of Ireland - Hibbz
Croatia - Graeme Swann's Cat

Group D

Ukraine - JamesLincs
Sweden - MockingJay33
France - Dodger Dave
England - trottb

All teams have now been assigned... let the verbal diarrhoea commence!

by Il Gialloblu Wed 06 Jun 2012, 3:17 am

owen10ozzy wrote:If there are teams left then count me in. Fantastic idea...im like the El Hadji Diouf of the sweepstake world! No loyalties to any club or team, a dislike for all others unless they can in some way financially aid me in which case im your best mate...and a self assured swagger & belief in my insane god like attributes I have been given! Yes thats right GOD like!!

''Whats that your game is full?...Im crap and have never been any good? How dare you, this idea of a game you have come up with is rubbish! you insolent son of a ... oh I can be involved in this game..fantastic..where do I sign up I love the idea...

owen10ozzy, trash talking on his application. Good stuff mate. You've got the Czechs.

GG wrote:I'm in if there's space.

Thanks GG. Co-hosts Poland for you.

TheBrahmaBull wrote:how does this game work then?

Quite simple really mate. I'll assign you a randomly drawn team and you just need to verbally boxing

with everyone else, bigging up your team and running theirs down. Just a bit of fun really. Do you want in?

Only Group B left to fill gentlemen.

by CFCNick Wed 06 Jun 2012, 7:26 am

Thought I'd add to Gregers post
Inaugural 606v2 Major Championship Banter Tournament - Page 2 Robben-meme-7

And, if only this was World Cup/European Club banter
Inaugural 606v2 Major Championship Banter Tournament - Page 2 561834_10150706170183668_12190913667_9675722_504204548_n

Inaugural 606v2 Major Championship Banter Tournament - Page 2 561834_10150706170183668_12190913667_9675722_504204548_n

by **Crimey** Wed 06 Jun 2012, 10:14 am

Guys, can you make sure all images are kept in spoilers please.

by trottb Wed 06 Jun 2012, 11:18 am

The banter hasn't even started yet and already the red pen has been brandished, not a good sign.

by mystiroakey Wed 06 Jun 2012, 8:04 pm

Lol- this place could turn ugly.

By the way trottb- how did you swing England.

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 6:07 am

Luckily for me money talks and Il is as crooked as those inept muppets running the beautiful game. Although he's not as bad as the vodka swilling, dour-faced, commie bar stewards you're representing.

1000-1 A russian person of note actually manages to smile should they score/win.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 8:07 am

I don't even have a team and you're abusing me! Nice work.

mystiroakey: trottb was the 8th person to join, after the first draw, and it looked like we were getting no more so I just gave him England to fill the group.

I wasn't going to join in with this as the time difference means I won't be able to have as much quick back-and-forth banter as everyone else, plus I'll be on holiday during the group games and will only be online sporadically, but if the remaining teams don't go tonight, I'll take one.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 8:40 am

Okay, sod it. I'm in. I'm not going to draw myself a random team, I'll just take Denmark and leave the Group B big boys for other people.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

trottb - we've got history son and it's not looking good for you if we meet in the knock-out stages.

Observe:

Spoiler:

Ireland are lucky that Norway didn't qualify, Scotland are lucky that they didn't qualify and get battered by the Swedes... again... but you, Sir, are in an unfortunate position. Should you make the knock-out stages (which is unlikely) and meet us, be prepared for some raping and pillaging.

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 8:58 am

Lets not get into an argument about raping when we've got a squad filled with sex offenders. Terry, Cole, Rooney and Carroll. Your wives and wags beware...

by CFCNick Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:07 am

Whoa.... sex offenders is a bit of a strong term. But the Swedes will wipe you out, we'll distract you with some trademark sexy Swedish twins.

Spoiler:

by Bull Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:07 am

still intrested do we do teams or something?

aim of the game is?

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:14 am

Wives and wags? What does the w in wag stand for?

Anyway, only your unscrupulous players would have wives and girlfriends. Here, amongst our honourable players, we'd have wife or girlfriend.

Which is why we don't use an acronym for it...

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:20 am

MockingJay33 wrote:Whoa.... sex offenders is a bit of a strong term. But the Swedes will wipe you out, we'll distract you with some trademark sexy Swedish twins.

Spoiler:

The Swedish can barely wipe their own rear ends. A team so useless and boring that the TV cameras will spend more time looking at their fans rather than their stagnant style of football.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:22 am

TheBrahmaBull wrote:still intrested do we do teams or something?

aim of the game is?

Mate, say you're in and I'll give you a team to trash talk about.

The aim of the thread (not really a game) is... to basically talk rubbish for the next three weeks.

You're a Rock fan eh? You admire his microphone work do you? Be like him. Cut some promos on our candy asses.

You'll get one of Germany, Netherlands or Portugal.

by Bull Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:23 am

ok then im in!

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:24 am

Il Gialloblu wrote:Wives and wags? What does the w in wag stand for?

Anyway, only your unscrupulous players would have wives and girlfriends. Here, amongst our honourable players, we'd have wife or girlfriend.

Which is why we don't use an acronym for it...

It stands for what you all are, Wan.... no too far can't say that. Erm

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:39 am

TheBrahmaBull wrote:ok then im in!

You've got the Netherlands mate.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 9:45 am

trottb wrote:
Il Gialloblu wrote:Wives and wags? What does the w in wag stand for?

Anyway, only your unscrupulous players would have wives and girlfriends. Here, amongst our honourable players, we'd have wife or girlfriend.

Which is why we don't use an acronym for it...

It stands for what you all are, Wan.... no too far can't say that.

Ooh, the uncouth English. Originators of the language but always the first to take it to the gutter too...

by Bull Thu 07 Jun 2012, 10:50 am

Darn it i wanted Germany!! Sad

by Gregers Thu 07 Jun 2012, 10:55 am

Go on then, I'm in!

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 10:57 am

TheBrahmaBull wrote:Darn it i wanted Germany!!

Germany, Hollland = tomato, tamato

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 11:02 am

TheBrahmaBull wrote:Darn it i wanted Germany!!

Sorry mate, you'll have to make do with weed and hookers instead of efficiency and no sense of humour. Not that I'm generalising of course...

Gregers wrote:Go on then, I'm in!

Two days after posting a picture of Robben being a satsuma , Gregers finally joins...

Portugal mate.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 11:06 am

trottb wrote:
TheBrahmaBull wrote:Darn it i wanted Germany!!

Germany, Hollland = tomato, tamato

I think you'll find that's tomate, tomaat.

by Gregers Thu 07 Jun 2012, 11:10 am

Portugal, a team that apparently has players not named Ronaldo...

by Gregers Thu 07 Jun 2012, 11:11 am

Spoiler:

by GSC Thu 07 Jun 2012, 12:27 pm

Italy, Spain and Ireland?

Might as well give us the group now Laugh

by mobilemaster8 Thu 07 Jun 2012, 2:16 pm

Ill play if there is space left. Something for work!

by trottb Thu 07 Jun 2012, 2:19 pm

Turning up when the only team left is one of the favourites, how transparent mobile...

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 2:33 pm

mobilemaster8 wrote:Ill play if there is space left. Something for work!

Great! All teams assigned.

Cheers mate. Now stop being so polite and start ribbing folk.

by Il Gialloblu Thu 07 Jun 2012, 4:12 pm

So, who are you up against first? We've got the Dutch... I feel for them, I really do.

I think we can judge who will have the more fearsome team by looking at the nations' traditional boats.

Denmark:

Spoiler:

Holland:

Spoiler:

Easy.

by mystiroakey Fri 08 Jun 2012, 7:20 pm

The MIGHTY RUSSIA are about to Kick off.

Come on the SYBONAYA .

The czechs are brown bread

by Liam Fri 08 Jun 2012, 8:40 pm

Well well. If it wasn't for the mighty Greek spirit we would have been robbed today. Can someone tell me when you could get booked without actually fouling anyone. I'm just happy this Spanish referee is in the sh*t at home like we are here in Athens.

Decent point I suppose in what was in effect an away game. Glad to see some of the bourgeosie from Greece could make it from the game, hiding away from our tax reforms I see warning

Onwards and upwards. Don't think I've ever seen us attack with that much ferosity before and we deserved the victory. We will muller the Czechs and we'll take a draw with the Russians and the inevitable Greek triumph for the second time 8 years, c'mon GREECE appletini

by GG Fri 08 Jun 2012, 9:09 pm

Us Poles played well against soon to be communist Greece. Surprised they had enough money to make it to the tournament. Could have been about 5 nil up at half time but oh well, we'll come good.

Lewandowski is a lethal finisher, expect goals from him to come. Did anyone see Samaras' finishes? Laugh

About as accurate as a US drone strike.

Two tricky games to come, but our defence is much better than the Czech one, and the Russians couldn't finish their dinner. Must have had about a million easy chances this game.

Spoiler:

by Liam Fri 08 Jun 2012, 9:17 pm

GG wrote:Us Poles played well against soon to be communist Greece. Surprised they had enough money to make it to the tournament. Could have been about 5 nil up at half time but oh well, we'll come good.

Lewandowski is a lethal finisher, expect goals from him to come. Did anyone see Samaras' finishes? About as accurate as a US drone strike.

Two tricky games to come, but our defence is much better than the Czech one, and the Russians couldn't finish their dinner. Must have had about a million easy chances this game.

Spoiler:

Well GGzchiwitz, you were very lucky to get away with a draw. You had home advantage, a man advantage for 70mins of the game and yet you couldn't put away the might 04 champions Greece. Your lucky none of us can afford to follow our team in Poland otherwise we would have definately won that game with a little more fan support king

by Liam Fri 08 Jun 2012, 9:26 pm

I'm not as confident of a 2-1 win for the Russians. They have been quality tonight against what is a weak defensive side in the Czechs. Saying that, they have been ruthless tonight and have some serious threats going forward. Not bad at all when you can bring on Pavylachencko is it.

by GG Fri 08 Jun 2012, 11:20 pm

martyr_94 wrote:
GG wrote:Us Poles played well against soon to be communist Greece. Surprised they had enough money to make it to the tournament. Could have been about 5 nil up at half time but oh well, we'll come good.

Lewandowski is a lethal finisher, expect goals from him to come. Did anyone see Samaras' finishes? About as accurate as a US drone strike.

Two tricky games to come, but our defence is much better than the Czech one, and the Russians couldn't finish their dinner. Must have had about a million easy chances this game.

Spoiler:

Well GGzchiwitz, you were very lucky to get away with a draw. You had home advantage, a man advantage for 70mins of the game and yet you couldn't put away the might 04 champions Greece. Your lucky none of us can afford to follow our team in Poland otherwise we would have definately won that game with a little more fan support

Well Martyrounis, I'm sure I saw plenty of tax dodging, hairy Greeks in the crowd! Good news is that Sczcesney is out and other legendary keeper is in. What a penalty save! Kragounis' face was priceless. Laugh

at him.

Czech's were poor, fancy our chances there. Russians have had their purple patch, easy victory against 'em too, methinks. zen

by mystiroakey Sat 09 Jun 2012, 7:00 am

Lol to the rest of you in group A, hahah- you play like ze amatuers

Get to the refs quick and falsefy racism. The only chance you have of a draw is to get the matches abandoned

by GG Sat 09 Jun 2012, 12:11 pm

Mystirov

Kerzhakov Laugh

. If you played an actual decent team you might have struggled, not a bunch of oldies/nobodies.

by GG Sat 09 Jun 2012, 8:07 pm

Spoiler:

by Il Gialloblu Sun 10 Jun 2012, 11:48 am

Well well, the shock of the tournament so far as the spirit of '92 is rekindled with a 1-0 destruction of the Dutch. I see us beating Portugal and making the knock-out stages now. Netherlands who? king

by compelling and rich Sun 10 Jun 2012, 12:26 pm

holland doing the usual choking bit whenever there fancied they man sausage up, last world cup nobody fancied them and they got to the final. just another hurdle out the way for the mighty spanish to romp home!

by Jennifer1984 Sun 10 Jun 2012, 10:12 pm

Graeme Swann's Cat wrote:Dont we have a prediction league already?

I predict that very soon we will have a prediction league.

by Jennifer1984 Sun 10 Jun 2012, 10:49 pm

You want banter..? You've got it. Disclaimer: Do not read if easily offended.

Before the tournament, Mario Ballotelli said he would walk off the field if anybody makes racist chants at him. Platini replied that if he did that, he would be shown a yellow card. Let's just hope nobody cuts it into the shape of a banana.

But hey.... it's not been a bad first weekend at Euro 2012.

After an opening ceremony that lasted less time than the pre match handshakes and national anthems, we got down to playing some football... well... Poland versus Greece, anyway.

The Poles got away to a flyer with team full of players whose names look like the bottom line of an eye test chart. The Greek manager sitting on the bench looked like the second saddest, most depressed man in Europe (after the Greek Government's finance minister, that is). Nothing much happened during the game.... only two red cards, a couple of goals and a missed penalty.

The Czechs were so bad in their game against the Russians that the doping co-ordinator didn't even bother taking urine samples from them after the game. If they had been taking anything, it certainly wasn't performance enhancing. Russia made Cech, the Czech goalie check out the ball flying past him from all distances and angles. His mind might have been elsewhere though... for once, he couldn't see where John Terry was and probably just wanted to get off the pitch and phone his wife to make sure she was alone.

Denmark cheered us all up by beating Holland and seeing the Oranje get beaten is never a bad thing. But isn't this supposed to be the "Group of Death"..? Perhaps we could bring this to reality by taking all the mirrors out of the Portugal dressing room. If Christiano Ronaldo can't see the thing he loves more than anything in the world, he may just cut his own wrists and that would be doing us all a favour.

And then there are the good old Oirish bhoys. Salt of the earth lads, the lot of them, and how fitting that their goal was scored by a player named after a horse race..!! I wonder what odds Paddy Power gave on that happening..? It must be strange for Robbie Keane though, playing in the Euros against so many of his boyhood countries. Still, I'm sure he's enjoying himself.

Surely Spain versus Italy would produce some quality..? Super Mario came closest to scoring when he robbed the ball near the touchline and set off towards goal, with only Casillas to beat. The problem was, he set off so slowly, that the defender had time to get up, change his kit, relace his boots, go for a pee, phone his mum back home on her birthday and still catch up with Mario before he got his shot away. Mario got the hook and within two minutes, his replacement had given Italy the lead. Does that tell you anything, Mario..?

The last word though, has to go to Roy Hodgson. I have intercepted a secret communication between the England supremo and FA HQ, where he gives the real reason why he chose John Terry instead of Rio Ferdinand. It was because the rest of the team threatened not to go to the Euros if it meant leaving Terry in England with their wives.

[i]

by compelling and rich Mon 11 Jun 2012, 8:31 am

spanish starting slowly as usual, just remember switzerland game!

by trottb Mon 11 Jun 2012, 9:17 am

Great scalp by the big nosed danes. Only one you'll get.

Expect a fantastic display from the mighty English tonight as we teach the French a thing or two about football with Hodgsons invigorated heroes.

Jennifer leave the banter to the men, what do women know about football...

by **Crimey** Mon 11 Jun 2012, 9:56 am

It must be strange for Robbie Keane though, playing in the Euros against so many of his boyhood countries.

by GSC Mon 11 Jun 2012, 10:04 am

Was Shay Given peed?

Looks like we're top of the group of death already, too easy.

by Gregers Mon 11 Jun 2012, 10:07 am

Robbed by the Germans!

Well at least we didn't get embarrassed by Denmark. Although did anyone have the match on with subtitles? Well the bar I was in did and my god it was great. One particular line of

"I am a Robin" had us in stitches as did "Arm Then Rob Then"

Laugh

by Beer Mon 11 Jun 2012, 10:12 am

Hark at Fabrecash whinging about the state of the pitch. Bunch of bottle jobs. Thats what you get for not playing a striker. Still, a draw seems like a fair result. Mario's been studying tapes of Torres prior to the tournament, the clown.

He does make me laugh old Mario. Walking off the pitch cause of monkey chants, he should consider himself lucky Aragones isn't in charge. He'd be given him belters from the touchline. Monkey noises, bananas, Puyol dressed as Donkey Kong and Planet of the Apes beemed around the stadium.

Croatia next, should be a walkover.

by Il Gialloblu Mon 11 Jun 2012, 10:24 am

trottb wrote:Great scalp by the big nosed danes. Only one you'll get.

Expect a fantastic display from the mighty English tonight as we teach the French a thing or two about football with Hodgsons invigorated heroes.

Jennifer leave the banter to the men, what do women know about football...

Don't be so sure of that min engelske ven*. We'll be drinking Carlsberg from Portuguese craniums come Wednesday night.

As for your game, you're remembering 1966 but forgetting 1066. Something in your eye?

*my English friend

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