TNA Impact 7th April Review

Article from: http://www.straightedgereport.com/2011/04/tna-impact-04072011-review.html

Daniels relates his history with TNA and that hes been in and out of quite often. Christopher Daniels is quickly interrupted with Immortal's music and ageless Ric Flair walks down the ramp leading Abbys, Bully Ray and Matt Hardy as slow as he can. Ric Flair at his imperious best on the mic once more as he delivers his "I am god" routine. He continues "if I am god of wrestling, I don't even know who you are" as he speaks to Christopher Daniels. If there is ever a person that can cut a promo at this age, it has to be Flair. Best line of the night? Well that has to be "You know that cowboy" - referring to James Storm.

The promo was going good but was cut short - Eric Biscoff and Hulk Hogan arrive. If Ric Flair is mean on the mic, then Hulk Hogan is quite lean on the mic. Cue an onslaught of "brother", "man" and "dude". Hulk Hogan must have limited vocabulary brother. He is what can be likened to a pokemon, limited to four or five expressions. Hulkamania must be getting senile, he is forgetting what made him mean on the mic before dude.

Surprisingly the promo ends without a fight and we see Hogan and Bischoff in their office with the doors ajar (as per usual) discussing the "network". Apparently the network is getting influenced by an unknown individual in TNA in order to sabotage Immortals. Even Eric Bischoff has started saying brother, borther. Bischoff promises to get to the bottom of the case before Hogan notices that the door is open and shuts it in a fit of rage.

First match of the day
Its the Mexican pairing of Super Mex Hernandes, Anarchia accompanied by the lovely Sarita nd her cousin Rosita. Tommy Dreamer and Devon run into the ring and get the action started. Dreamer and Devon are too old to be still wrestling - Dreamer struggled to do a simple scoop slam. Devon continues with the fez press ont Hernandesm before Rosita decides to interrupt. Devon wasn't having any of it but he was having plenty of Rosita. On screen kissing has been missing from TNA but didn't expect it from Devon. Sarita also interrupts and lectures the referee whos back is turned to Anarchia and his chairshot to Devon from the ringside. Sarita leaves the Ring and the referee sprints into action seeing that Hernandes has pinned Devon - but wheres Tommy Dreamer? Hernandes and Anarchia win and send Sarita and Rosita to expose the concrete floor ringside. Mexican America continues to mete out punishment before the Blueprint Matt Morgan prevents Hernandes from border tossing Dreamer. Poor match but execution was decent.

Short segment, doors are ajar once more and Winter is seen brainwashing Angelina Love in their dressing room. She is apparently spiking Angelina's drink in order to control her.

Samoa Joe vs Murphy
The match doesn't go underway before the Pope De Angelo Deniro's music plays and he joins the announce table. He used the mic instead of the headset. Quite funny what he had to say - "you are so gullible professor"- referring to Mike Tenay, "this is TV daddy". Joe quickly ends the match with a submission. Murphy taps out which Pope describes as Joe "think hes hungry...trying to bite the guys ear off". Joe turns his attention to the pope (who turns tail - "I think hes still hungry"). TNA would do well to give The Pope a push once more instead of

Sarita and Rosita vs Angelina Love and Velvet Sky
The gorgeous knockouts put on another great showing. Velvet may not be entirely athletic but she can be forgiven for her lack of skills, we obviously watch the Knockouts for other reasons, no need to sugercoat that fact. Velvet Sky looks for a tag but gets none from Angelina and Winter comes out calling Angelina and gestures breaking something to which Angelina reacts and attacks Velvet. Rosita pins Velvet Sky for a slow three count - what the hell is Hebner doing? Why does he look so disgusted. His job is to call it down the middle not cheat on the count.

Backstage segment continues with Ken Anderson looking for Sting. He confronts Eric young and Orlando Jordan who remarks that he is totally "into your asshole thing". Anderson just walks off shocked. "Stinger, Stinger, come out baby. Come out, come out wherever you are" Anderson says childishly. Pipe in hand he enters the rafters. RVD guised as Sting attacks Mr Anderson. The assault is one sided and Anderson is soon left battered on the floor.

Sting's music plays. His new entrance is really good for some reason and his new attire is all the same. He calls out RVD and Rob Van Damme obliges. Sting then says that his major reason for returning to TNA was to stop Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff but now he has been distracted by Anderson and RVD. Sting apologizes for assaulting RVD March of last year but demands that RVD apologizes for using the Stinger against Mr Anderson. Promo is going smooth except for RVD lack of mic skills. Get ready for the power men brother. Bischoff and Hogan come out once again. "Rob I am really starting to digg this brother", Hogan starts. The Hulkster is pleased with RVD's new attitude and books RVD vs Stinger for the night. However, why was Bischoff out if he had nothing to say?


Robbie E, Young Bucks (Jeremy and Max Buck) vs Brian Kendrick, Chris Saben and Suicide. 6 man X-Divisin Tag Team match

Just a quick point, is Cookie hot or what? The match immediately begins with combos between Suicide and Chris Saben on Robbie E. Cookie is heard screaming on the top of her voice "get him out of the corner". Thats playing the character. Max Buck tags and gets to work on Suicide begining with a dropkick to the chest and. Soon Jeremy tags and takes control of Suicide. The angst between the Buck brothers continues as Max Buck tags himself back in much to the dissatisfaction of Jeremy. Max tags Robbie E and he too tags in Jeremy before long and Max than tags his brother to become the legal man.

Suicide manages to tag Brian Kendrick and he slingshots himself into action. Kendrick is quite an athlete but is underused. He is also quite entertaining on the mic but his new gimmick seems to be wasted. Kendrick is on the mat but Max attacks Jeremy with a DDT before Brian Kendrick takes advantage and wins. To be honest the match was very poor. It served primarily to further the feud between the two brothers. Chris Saben hardly had any action and there was none of the high flying action these stars are known for. Wasted match.

Bully Ray vs Christopher Daniels
This is a lumberjack match and the lumberjacks are Fortune and Immortal. Not much worthy of mention here except Christopher Daniels makes Bully Ray look good. Some great athletic moves from Daniels and the short match is over when Hulk Hogan wraps steel chains around his hand to hit Daniels in the head. As you might have guessed the referees back was turned but is alerted to the pin. Bully Ray wins much to the displeasure of the crowd.

Rob Van Damme vs Sting
Mr Anderson got himself involved in the match by requesting Hogan to make him the referee. A slow match with classical Sting moves and a Scorpian Deathdrop on RVD, but Ken Anderson had other plans and he quickly put the Mic Check on the Stinger before proceeding to count both men on the mat. RVD turns around and does his frogsplash to take the win. Hogan comes out to congratulate Anderson for screwing Sting before his goons get beaten by Anderson and his pipe of fury.

That about wraps it for this weeks TNA. Overall whilst the storylines were very well executed, some of the matches felt very ordinary and perfunctory. TNA needs to put in great matches like they used to. TNA ratings are about average and looks to be on the mend but only time will tell how much progress they are making.


If you saw the show, what did you make of it?