Euro Division Media Page

First topic message reminder :

Welcome to the 606v2 Euro Division Media Page.

This is where you get to announce new player purchases, pre match hype and build up and post match interviews.
You want exclusives with the managers on what they think? Here's where to come!

NOTE - there is no bonus for posting on the media page, it is purely for fun!

Press Conference questions for Week 1, Season 3...

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?

1. How do you feel about your result?
Good point against the best team in da lee

2. Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
Stand up.

3. Do you wipe north to south or south to north?
East to West

4. Have you ever used a bidet?
No

5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?
Uni Library Basement everytime

1. How do you feel about your result?
Now that's out of the way... Relieved like after a good poo

2. Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
Hop on one leg, mostly the left.

3. Do you wipe north to south or south to north?
East to West & West to East

4. Have you ever used a bidet?
Whats one of those?

5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?All over Soddy, skat skat skat !

1. How do you feel about your result?
Very happy, injuries dealt us a cruel blow so to come away with a draw against a very good team, away from home, is a good result.

2. Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
Sit down. For everything.

3. Do you wipe north to south or south to north?
South to North.

4. Have you ever used a bidet?
Nope.

5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?
The centre circle at Old Trafford.

1. How do you feel about your result?
It was ok, a decent start to not lose. We need to snap out of drawing left right and centre though, it only helps in the cup...

Now that's out of the way...

2. Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?
I sit. Standing seems to make no sense to me, traction would be far harder to attain.

3. Do you wipe north to south or south to north?
I can go both ways. I do accept Marky's points on the risks of the north/south approach though.

4. Have you ever used a bidet?
Yes, my aunt had one because she was really rich. It was alright.

5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?.
I think mine is more time than place. I'd wouldn't mind where it was, but I would want to go during a very important historical moment. That way when someone says, "where were you when....." I can always say, "taking a crap".

Azzy Mahmood wrote:5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?
The centre circle at Old Trafford.

Good answer. I nearly went for Alex Ferguson's seat in the dugout.

Marky wrote:

Azzy Mahmood wrote:5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?
The centre circle at Old Trafford.

Good answer. I nearly went for Alex Ferguson's seat in the dugout.

At his age its probably already covered

1. How do you feel about your result?

Pleased. The league is going to be a tight affair with lots of draws, so any win is a plus for me

2. Do you stand up or sit down to wipe?

Definitely sit down since the Taylor Report. Also don’t want to risk any unseen droppage, which you find as you take your first step

3. Do you wipe north to south or south to north?
South to North. Is it even possible to do the other?

4. Have you ever used a bidet?
Never for a poo. It tends to block the plug

5. If you could pick one single place in the world to take a poo, where are you taking that poo?
Definitely not in Oscar Pistorius’ bathroom

SAVE US.MARKY

1. Decent draw, missed a key player so can't complain.

2. Maybe force people to use more of the squad

3. Pogba given he did the job.

4. Yes, hilarity. Our fans aren't spoilt brats like Chelseas also.

5. Sex?

Marky wrote:Week 3 Season 2
5. You're at an Arsenal FC press conference, and Arsene Wenger asks you "Why are you looking at me? You?". What's your witty answer?

"You look a little like my sister Arsene, if you know what I mean..."

1. What are your thoughts on your result and feedback this week?

I was pleased to win. The feedback was ok, I need to get more of a cutting edge up front potentially.

2. The cup begins this week for most sides, what one rule change would you enforce if you were running the cup?

I don't know, there isn't much wrong with it.

3. A lot has been made of ZZZ's feedback regarding his marking of Verratti. If you could replace one of Lampard/Kroos with another player to best stop Verratti, from within the league and without changing the formation, who would it be and why?

Biglia. Because Biglia > the world.

4. Would you have Rafael Benitez at your favourite club?

Yes, he's a pretty good manager. He is a bit of a smarmy cockwipe sometimes, but I reckon he knows what he is doing. We'd probably get the ball down too, which'd be nice.

5. You're at an Arsenal FC press conference, and Arsene Wenger asks you "Why are you looking at me? You?". What's your witty answer?

I will fight you.

Week 3 Season 2

1. What are your thoughts on your result and feedback this week?
Pleased with another draw, it makes me think my side is hard to beat although a win or two would be nice. Feedback is fair, nothíng much that shocks.

2. The cup begins this week for most sides, what one rule change would you enforce if you were running the cup?
Perhaps make a rule of no starting player from the previous league game can feature, which would put more emphasis on squad rotation.

3. A lot has been made of ZZZ's feedback regarding his marking of Verratti. If you ould replace one of Lampard/Kroos with another player to best stop Verratti, from within the league and without changing the formation, who would it be and why?
Personally I'd choose Dembele, the guy's been a beast for Spurs IRL and my favourite signing. From other clubs I'd suggest maybe Moussa Sissoko or Abou Diaby when fit.

4. Would you have Rafael Benitez at your favourite club?
I don't think Crawley Town are in a position to turn down a World Club and European Cup winning manager, although i'd eventually become frustrated with him.

5. You're at an Arsenal FC press conference, and Arsene Wenger asks you "Why are you looking at me? You?". What's your witty answer?
I'd reply with a compliment about his hazy eyes and forehead lines because I'm 26 and love him. He'd say I'm 12 years too old.

Alvaro Negredo
Sevilla FC to la Chorizo
£16 million

http://www.transfermarkt.co.uk/en/lvaro-negredo/profil/spieler_18644.html

Manager Azzy has No Respek for Dos Cervezas signings
Mahmood umimpressed with Marky's transfer dealings
After hearing of Marky's Harry Redknapp-esque dealings in the transfer market yesterday, outspoken FC No Respek manager Azzy Mahmood had this to say about the moves.

"Marky is under the impression that he has improved his team. Losing Cabaye for Motta, Anyukov for Iraola and Garcia for Xhaka is something I have No Respek for. I just hope that Nagamootoo was worth the upheaval."

This isn't the first time that Mahmood has criticised other managers' transfer moves. He recently poured scorn on former VFL Fassbender manager CF's decision to pay £5m for German legend - and national icon - Thomas 'Germans Love Me More Than David Hasselhoff' Hitzelsperger, a move which showed his lack of football knowledge.

Azzy Leaves Post!
FC No Respek manager Azzy has left he's post after some say due to "rule breaking" with the EDFA, he will be missed
by the team and this week's game will be he's last in charge.

Bullsene Wenger Becomes "Interim" Manager!
Bullsene Wenger takes over till the end of the season as Interim Manager for FC No Respek, Bullsene was last seen as manager of VFL Fassbender before he resigned and it was taken over and destroyed by CF Di Canio.

Press Conference at The German Team

Those in attendance

Manager:- Fan
Chairman:- Adolf Butt
New Team Captain:- Adil Rami

Thrilled fans await the arrival of there new manager Fan Gilhaus as he turns up to huge cheers outside the stadium..
Inside he awaits some media questions along with his chairman and new team captain Adil Rami

R: You are back after what some say is a self imposed exile, how do you feel on your return?
FG: I am delighted, I needed some time out to recharge the batteries, I now feel its time to return.
R: You have taken over a team bottom of the league and doomed for relegation, can you turn it around?
FG: Maybe its too late to stay up, but I will have time to assess the team over the next few weeks and see what is needing done
R:It hasnt taken you long to stamp your authority on the club and you have made some big changes already
FG: Yup i have, there were some players here not fit to wear the Black and Gold of this club, I mean Danny Simpson! Damien Duff! ffs what was the previous manager thinking? Yes Draxler, Holtby and James have left but as soon as I saw them in training I thought they were full of themselves so got rid of them and brought in some real talented lads like Adam Maher and Stevan Jovetic, I want to revamp this club and show the Chairman it was worthtaking me out for fish and chips to bribe me into taking charge
AB: I never bribed you, you paid for the chippy
FG:- Shut up chairman, am the boss now, you PAID for it..
R: Bribed?
FG: No I meant salt and vinegar
R:-Eh?..nevermind you have mad Adil the captain, what does he bring?
FG: He has all the leadership qualities I desire in a captain, I have admired Adil for a while now and am sure he will become a great for this club.
AR:- Yes I am delighted to be named the new captain, we will focus on making this club great again, I trust Mr Boss man with all my wives and children
R: Any changes to onfield matters?
FG: Yes probably, I will bring a new dimension to this club and we will attack, no point being defensive when your bottom of the league fighting to stay up
R: New formation?
FG: I have a few we will try out in training otherwisenone of your business
FG: Am bored now
R: Well we have no more questons Mr Gilhaus, any thing you would like to say to fans?
FG: yeah, at the end of the season go on holiday it will be a rollercoaster ride for them and they will need a break
FG: Now f off I have training to take and am away to sign some players and get rid of the nasty eggy smell around this club, I know who it is and he will be gone by the end of the day.
R: Egss?
FG yeah he stinks and I want all bad eggs out of this club...Goodbye

Mole City Withdraw From the Cup

This is a public service announce due to injuries and the lack of willingness to buy more U21's Mole City will be withdrawing from the Cup with immediate effect

Have a good day

I'll loan you U21s if you're that fussed

FCE4J make claim for cup


Seeing as we got the better result agaisnt the team that dropped outand our defeat to the other opposition was soley down to internet contection, also coupled with the fact that we would 100% give a more competitive fixture aswell as a different set of tactics than the last 5 weeks. its a simp,e desicion really, we are ready and do have the resources to compete, and we will take that chance.

Fernando wrote:Mole City Withdraw From the Cup

This is a public service announce due to injuries and the lack of willingness to buy more U21's Mole City will be withdrawing from the Cup with immediate effect

Have a good day

Bottle job

To be honest, you lost Muniain and I lost Lukaku, two U21's who were pretty much guaranteed starters, you could always keep toys in the pram and sign a cheap replacement (like I may have to) and try and make the final.

Marky wrote:

Fernando wrote:Mole City Withdraw From the Cup

This is a public service announce due to injuries and the lack of willingness to buy more U21's Mole City will be withdrawing from the Cup with immediate effect

Have a good day

Bottle job

To be honest, you lost Muniain and I lost Lukaku, two U21's who were pretty much guaranteed starters, you could always keep toys in the pram and sign a cheap replacement (like I may have to) and try and make the final.

I have done so and i will see you and your 3-4-3 formation on Friday

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
To challenge for the championship title! Though anyone can walk away with it. I believe the defining factor for this season will be injuries.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
Everyone, no weak sides in this league.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Vidal to UsC or any of Afro transfers (out)

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
I wouldn't poke anyone, rather I'd slap everyone with a wet fish!

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
I'm pretty sure I'm finishing bottom, so anything above last

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
Top of the other division

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
100m spent on 2 players

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
6 fingered tractor boy. Why not

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
I'd like my title back but top 3 is the aim as always

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
Marky and Afro

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Marky signing Willian and Martinez for a ludicrous amount of money

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
Nando for refusing to sell me Muniain

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
To finish above GSC

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
No one

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Vidal for 50m+

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?

Gregers for trying to get Muniain Otherwise O.L.L.Y

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
First and foremost securing a top three finish again. After that, the league title becomes the aim.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
Everyone. No easy games, but main rivals will be known once the season starts. Unless you mean local rivals, in which I have two other Spanish sides to contend with.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
I think my business caught a lot of people out, however I'm the one who has signed three world class midfielders and two world class attackers, if people want to focus on their varying costs then so be it. Other than mine, Afro's and Azzy's dramatic changes.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
I'd go straight for Gregers, as he's the Vilanova to my Mourinho, Chorizo are the Barcelona to my Real Madrid.

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
Our main aim is to survive the division. Then it is to ruffle some feathers with our fearless, attacking football.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
I think the division is tight, but if I had to pick who I think will be contenders, I think either Marky or Soddy will win the league, whilst GSC could run them close with some shrewd tactical performances.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
I don't really care how much was spent on certain players. There was plenty of cash knocking around, so prices went up. It is the quality of the players that were bought is important, and Vidal and Martinez were clearly the picks of this window. I think the most eye catching move was the brief arrival of Zlatan at Azzurini. I think we shocked a few by sneaking him in the backdoor whilst others were watching for the headline TP transfers.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
No Soddy because me and him have a history of just selling each other the same players back and forth each close season. I'd say Azzy, just so I could then buy the popcorn and sit back to enjoy the fireworks

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
Try and get as many points as possible, and enjoy the toughness of the league we find ourselves in.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
The others that came up in the first instance I suppose, we want to be the best of those that came up.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Quite a few bits, the ins and outs at Afro and Azzy's team for sure. Cherries did well overall.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
A split-finger double eye poke to 6 fingered tractor boy for consistently voting for me in games of Mafia.

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?

To go out there and avenge the final day relegation from the Premier League. We want promotion. We will get promotion.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?

Everyone is a rival. Bar maybe Cherries. I really like to look of Trebs's side, and Azzy's team would've been great 5-10 years ago

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?

You got the obvious TP ones like Vidal etc, but I liked Marky's pick up of Fernandinho last night. I think that could prove to be a signing of the season moment.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?

VOTE SODHAT

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
Promotion is the bare minimum, however I would like to win the league, which is the ambition.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
I have to beat 6 fingered tractor boy, my old team must be beaten.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Vidal's price was huge, and Afro has changed things up.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
I wouldn't poke any of my fellow managers in the eye, I you all.
However if Viva comes back though then he would get all the instead and I would have to poke all of you in the eye.

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
Finishing bottom.

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
I have no rivals, they're all better than me.

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Marky buying Lampard just to spite me.

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?
Afro, I've always wanted to poke him.

1. What are your aims for the forthcoming season?
We will win the league

2. Who do you consider your rivals in your division?
There are alot of strong teams but i dont see any one team as a specific rival

3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
not really paid attention to other teams dealings over the Summer, will check them out the week I play them

4. If all 12 managers got involved in a touchline brawl, which manager would you poke in the eye a la Jose Mourinho, and why?.
Poke in the eye? thats a bit girly, I would heed butt any c**t that came near me

Azzy Mahmood wrote:3. Which bit of transfer business caught your eye over the "summer"?
Marky buying Lampard just to spite me.

That'll be it, nothing to do with Fat Frank still being a good player and able to cover my CM position in the event of an injury to Fernandinho. It was to spite you.

(Make an offer if you want him).

New Chief Scout signs in at Il Azzurini


After an extensive search and thorough interview process, Il Azzurini are delighted to announce the appointment of it's Nursey Manager Head of Youth Development Chief Scout.

VivaPaulScholes takes on the role, which will see him responsible for identifying the next big up and coming stars to allow Il Azzurini to build on the exciting promise that already exists at the club. He has been given carte blanche and a season ticket to the world's hospital car parks. As soon as any future superstar is born, Viva will be there to sign him up.

I hope he has a long coat and dark glasses

He does. And an endless supply of sweets