Thickest rugby player?

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Who is the thickest rugby player?

In Wales I always thought it was Andy Powell. One of my west Wales farmer customers told me today that it's actually Tavis Knoyle. Quite surprised to see a player in a reasonably intelligent position to be of the two planked variety.

formerly known as Sam wrote:Ben Youngs is supposedly slow on the uptake. I heard an example of when asked whether it was true that Bracken was coming in every fortnight to do scrum half specific coaching his reply was "no, he comes in every two weeks".

There was. Twitter thing dedicated to it but I'm not down with the kids so don't know what It's called.

Theyd be well suited then, given that Brackens nickname when he played for England was "Village".

GunsGerms wrote:

John Cregan wrote:Must be the winking Tom Williams after he took the Blood Capsule for Harlequins a few years back.............

That was really dumb. Id say he still has nightmares about that.

Really glad he's come through that episode. Played really well in the last game I saw. As a young player he should never have been put in that position.

Absolutly not. I can also honestly say when I was his age I would have been sh1tt1ng myself if I had to something like that.

GunsGerms wrote:

John Cregan wrote:Must be the winking Tom Williams after he took the Blood Capsule for Harlequins a few years back.............

That was really dumb. Id say he still has nightmares about that.

It's all contextual, though - he made one bad decision after another throughout that whole debacle, but on the pitch he's one of the smartest players I've seen. Possibly the best reader of the game at Quins, which is not a trivial achievement.

Andy Powell must surely be the front runner. On the pitch, I've watched him bash himself against a brick wall (well, Nick Easter) continuously for 40 minutes and still think that if he keeps doing it the result will change. Off the pitch, the golf cart incident takes some beating.

Honourable mentions for Haskell and Henson, who seem to have almost no emotional or social intelligence. A Welsh friend tells me that Henson used to be in the habit of going into nightclubs and trying to buy a round of drinks for everyone in the club, which used to offend people.

Dafydd James (Wales & British Lion) He wasn't the brightest apparently and was nicknamed "trigger" within the welsh camp, after the fools and horses character. Story goes that during fitness testing with the welsh squad, he got distraught that he had the lowest fat percentage. Players, management & fitness staff tried to explain to him that it was actually a good thing that he was the "lowest" but he just couldn't get it.

Ross Ford is absolutely thick.

One of my friends knew him in his school days and apparently he was a total dunce, but was popular and successful because he was good at rugby!

Rugby ability goes a long way in borders towns!

Has to be an Aussie!

Most of the NH players are privately educated so whilst they appear dump I bet they're not as bad as they make out.

But saying that Manu doesn't seem to be that sharp, how many more times does he need to be told to pass the ball.

I think we're getting confused between players who are genuinely intellectually challenged and players who have made bad errors of judgement - which we can all be guilty of from time to time.

HERSH wrote:Manu doesn't seem to be that sharp

He doesn't sound too bright in interviews. Nor does Chris Robshaw. Nor does Neil Jenkins. Not that articulacy is a true indicator of intelligence, of course.

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

HERSH wrote:Manu doesn't seem to be that sharp

He doesn't sound too bright in interviews. Nor does Chris Robshaw. Nor does Neil Jenkins. Not that articulacy is a true indicator of intelligence, of course.

True, but looking at Andy Powell, you'd have to think that perhaps the professors who invented craniology were onto something after all...

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

HERSH wrote:Manu doesn't seem to be that sharp

He doesn't sound too bright in interviews. Nor does Chris Robshaw. Nor does Neil Jenkins. Not that articulacy is a true indicator of intelligence, of course.

If it was Munster would be the thickest team in the NH.

So far then, from those mentioned above, a possible team would be:

15. Cullen
14. Tom James
13. Dafydd James
12. Henson
11. Lomu
10. Norton-Knight
1. Bruce Douglas
2. Mark Regan
3 Matt Dunning
4. Justin Harrison
5. Brennan
6. Jerry Collins
8. Andy Powell
7. Chris Robshaw

Some good players in there, but even if it had been possible to get them all to play in the same team we'd probably never find out how good or bad they would be as in all likelihood they would never find their way out of the dressing room!

Amazed no-one has mentioned Colin Smart (him of the aftershave down in one).

HERSH wrote:Has to be an Aussie!

Most of the NH players are privately educated so whilst they appear dump I bet they're not as bad as they make out.

But saying that Manu doesn't seem to be that sharp, how many more times does he need to be told to pass the ball.

Not the Welsh ones! (maybe Cuthbert?!)

Wasn't Dafydd James a winger?!

Indeed, Germs, Munster are a cerebral team that masquerade's as a collection of of lost village idiots. It takes true genius to fool people into thinking you are stupid.

And while Donners won't ever be a Nobel Prize winner, he was sharp enough with the comeback to Geordy's joke.

He was a few years behind me in school, but the prevailing opinion of Irelan's and Leinster's LH, is that Cian Healy's professional sports career hasn't robbed the academic world of a leading light. But rumour has it he has some equine DNA in him where it counts, so you can't have it all, that would just be unfair.

Don't put your lads down Griff

BlueNote wrote:Amazed no-one has mentioned Colin Smart (him of the aftershave down in one).

That was a pretty funny story.

I always though Gordan Darcy was pretty thick until he outscored me in the leaving cert. That shut me up.

debaters1 wrote:He was a few years behind me in school, but the prevailing opinion of Irelan's and Leinster's LH, is that Cian Healy's professional sports career hasn't robbed the academic world of a leading light. But rumour has it he has some equine DNA in him where it counts, so you can't have it all, that would just be unfair.

That would explain why he's going out with Miss Ireland!

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

debaters1 wrote:He was a few years behind me in school, but the prevailing opinion of Irelan's and Leinster's LH, is that Cian Healy's professional sports career hasn't robbed the academic world of a leading light. But rumour has it he has some equine DNA in him where it counts, so you can't have it all, that would just be unfair.

That would explain why he's going out with Miss Ireland!

She is no genius herself.

I'd say Healy's rod is the smartest thing that has ever come out of her mouth.

How do you know your coach thinks your thick?















When he sends a letter to your and it says one of the following.

1. When his IQ reaches 50, SELL.
2. If his IQ was one higher, you could water him and cause photosynthesis.
3. The wheels are turning, but the brain is dead.
4. It seems the lights are on, but nobody is home.
5. Your husband is depriving some village of their idiot.

Tavis is a smart lad, has intelligent parents and just hypes up the valley boy image for a laugh - Powell on the other hand is a classic example, his postcode is actually SA11 IQ9

One candidate has to be Jamie Cudmore, the Canuck who's in the Clermont second row. Looks like a lumberjack and has a yellow and red card record as long as his arm, usually for the dumbest things. The dumbest has to be the red card he got against Munster a few yeares ago for punching POC right in front of the touch judge and kept punching even after POC gently drew the TJ's attention.

Still they some to love him in Clermont and Vern Cotter seems happy to indulge his frequent bouts of stupidity, probably when Cudmore does decide to play he's not a bad second row

He is just a thug. Old habits die hard. He was a former enforcer for a drug dealer.

That one was funny. POC was looking at the TJ demonstrating the fact that he was being hit while not hitting back. But Cudmore kept at it, and retaliation graduated to self defence.

Banter.

Charlie Faulkner from the Viet Gwent was of the extreme bovine sort

RubyGuby wrote:Tavis is a smart lad, has intelligent parents and just hypes up the valley boy image for a laugh - Powell on the other hand is a classic example, his postcode is actually SA11 IQ9

SO IT IS YOU SHRINK

Ashton didn't come across as particularly smart in the "o2 inside line" vids.

I also think Dallaglio is a bit "stupid". He says things with enough authority and conviction but when you actually listen to the words, there is very little coherency or sense amongst them.

RogerLewis wrote:

RubyGuby wrote:Tavis is a smart lad, has intelligent parents and just hypes up the valley boy image for a laugh - Powell on the other hand is a classic example, his postcode is actually SA11 IQ9

SO IT IS YOU SHRINK

EnglishReign wrote:Ashton didn't come across as particularly smart in the "o2 inside line" vids.

I also think Dallaglio is a bit "stupid". He says things with enough authority and conviction but when you actually listen to the words, there is very little coherency or sense amongst them.

I remember his speech after the 2003 Premiership Final as being very lucid and to the point.

Regarding Ashton, my initial reaction towards him was that he was an unlikable individual, but I dodn't think he was one of the stupider players. However, there was an extended enough interview with him on Sky in the wake of the Tuilagi incident and he grew on me a bit. And I think it was in another BBC interview around his 'Ash Splash' antics that he was talking about his switch of codes and how his friends and family basically didn't, and perhaps still dont, watch him since he defected to Union. That's a lot for an individual to have to deal with in fairness. Still don't like him mind but I'd be reluctant to call him stupidin any way. Swan dives notwithstanding.

The player nicknamed "Mongo", or another nicknamed "Bungalow"!

http://www.munsterfans.com/threads/31834-Nicknames-who-s-who

Bungalow is a great name for Healy

Alfie has to be the most intellectually challenged captain that Wales or the Lions ever had.

formerly known as Sam wrote:Ben Youngs is supposedly slow on the uptake. I heard an example of when asked whether it was true that Bracken was coming in every fortnight to do scrum half specific coaching his reply was "no, he comes in every two weeks".

There was. Twitter thing dedicated to it but I'm not down with the kids so don't know what It's called.

I believe Youngs is severely dyslexic? Which may explain the difficulty surrounding numbers and dates/his perception as being slow. He may also be dyslexic and thick, however.

TycroesOsprey wrote:Alfie has to be the most intellectually challenged captain that Wales or the Lions ever had.

What is the captain doing?
WHAT IS THE CAPTAIN DOING?

GunsGerms wrote:

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

debaters1 wrote:He was a few years behind me in school, but the prevailing opinion of Irelan's and Leinster's LH, is that Cian Healy's professional sports career hasn't robbed the academic world of a leading light. But rumour has it he has some equine DNA in him where it counts, so you can't have it all, that would just be unfair.

That would explain why he's going out with Miss Ireland!

She is no genius herself.

I'd say Healy's rod is the smartest thing that has ever come out of her mouth.

Just got home from work and having tea which has now shot across kitchen!!

gregortree wrote:Brian Moore commentating from Paris:

".. Well, that ball didn't even land in the right arrondissement.." (sp?)
made me laugh though


Jiffy
has a very limited vocabulary.

I remember that greg, but it's not quite right. Moore was referring to Balshaw trying to field a garryowen and getting nowhere near it. Balshaw was 'not even in the same arrondissement'.

As I recall, beer was spat.

I can't remember which NZ player was being interviewed on the beach at Durban and being asked about what it's like playing at altitude in SA. His response...

"How far above sea level are we?"

Hound_of_Harrow wrote:

gregortree wrote:Brian Moore commentating from Paris:

".. Well, that ball didn't even land in the right arrondissement.." (sp?)
made me laugh though


Jiffy
has a very limited vocabulary.

I remember that greg, but it's not quite right. Moore was referring to Balshaw trying to field a garryowen and getting nowhere near it. Balshaw was 'not even in the same arrondissement'.

As I recall, beer was spat.

I can't remember which NZ player was being interviewed on the beach at Durban and being asked about what it's like playing at altitude in SA. His response...

"How far above sea level are we?"

I thought that was Victor Ubogu on tour with England. Mind you there maybe more that one rugby player who has made that mistake.

Before the 1st test on the2009 lions met Regan (another Bristol boy) in the Lions village behind the main stand at kings park - asked me where the ground was?? - mind you alcohol may have had something to do with that.!

Brizzle

FFS get promoted back to the Prem

I miss the away trips to the Mem

Some of us Wasps were having a bit of leg pulling with Haskell after the game in Mogliano. Can't be arsed to tell the details, but it went right over his head.

Hound_of_Harrow wrote:Brizzle

FFS get promoted back to the Prem

I miss the away trips to the Mem

Some of us Wasps were having a bit of leg pulling with Haskell after the game in Mogliano. Can't be arsed to tell the details, but it went right over his head.

We're trying to Hound. Hit and miss at present. The Mem pasties are a thing of joy and idiots corner never changes.

BristolDave wrote:

GunsGerms wrote:

Luckless Pedestrian wrote:

debaters1 wrote:He was a few years behind me in school, but the prevailing opinion of Irelan's and Leinster's LH, is that Cian Healy's professional sports career hasn't robbed the academic world of a leading light. But rumour has it he has some equine DNA in him where it counts, so you can't have it all, that would just be unfair.

That would explain why he's going out with Miss Ireland!

She is no genius herself.

I'd say Healy's rod is the smartest thing that has ever come out of her mouth.

Just got home from work and having tea which has now shot across kitchen!!

Ha, love it!!

Jamie Heaslip, that turn in his eye doesn't help.

HERSH wrote:

Most of the NH players are privately educated so whilst they appear dump I bet they're not as bad as they make out.

Shouldn't that be the other way round?

BristolDave wrote:

Hound_of_Harrow wrote:Brizzle

FFS get promoted back to the Prem

I miss the away trips to the Mem

Some of us Wasps were having a bit of leg pulling with Haskell after the game in Mogliano. Can't be arsed to tell the details, but it went right over his head.

We're trying to Hound. Hit and miss at present. The Mem pasties are a thing of joy and idiots corner never changes.

Good luck Bris.

The Robin Hood's Retreat on the Gloucester Road for a pint, or several, when you make it back. Miss the Bris fans, and the pasties.

Back on topic. Apparrently Cullen was nicknamed 'beer bottle'.

Nothing from the neck up.

I believe Youngs is severely dyslexic?Which may explain the difficulty surrounding numbers and dates/his perception as being slow. He may also be dyslexic and thick, however.

I think is brother is a good deal sharper which between sibling pi$$ taking and the fact he house shares with Flood mean that he loses out on banter and things tend to sound worse/get reported.

Dunno about dyslexia, might explain it. Supposed to be a nice lad as long as you don't expect an indepth conversation on anything other than rugby I'm told by the boss at work who knows a few Tigers players.

I know a few dyslexic people who earn good money from their own business,
they defiantly lack in academic ways so a good accountant is essential but you try and get one up on them a they are as sharp as they come.

formerly known as Sam wrote:

I believe Youngs is severely dyslexic?Which may explain the difficulty surrounding numbers and dates/his perception as being slow. He may also be dyslexic and thick, however.

I think is brother is a good deal sharper which between sibling pi$$ taking and the fact he house shares with Flood mean that he loses out on banter and things tend to sound worse/get reported.

Dunno about dyslexia, might explain it. Supposed to be a nice lad as long as you don't expect an indepth conversation on anything other than rugby I'm told by the boss at work who knows a few Tigers players.

Read in the paper this morning that both brothers are dyslexic

Hound_of_Harrow wrote:

BristolDave wrote:

Hound_of_Harrow wrote:Brizzle

FFS get promoted back to the Prem

I miss the away trips to the Mem

Some of us Wasps were having a bit of leg pulling with Haskell after the game in Mogliano. Can't be arsed to tell the details, but it went right over his head.

We're trying to Hound. Hit and miss at present. The Mem pasties are a thing of joy and idiots corner never changes.

Good luck Bris.

The Robin Hood's Retreat on the Gloucester Road for a pint, or several, when you make it back. Miss the Bris fans, and the pasties.

Back on topic. Apparrently Cullen was nicknamed 'beer bottle'.

Nothing from the neck up.

Defo there Hound -know it well. With the amount of cash Steve Lansdown has hopefully wont be long

Bris.