Eleven Films That Have Seriously Misleading Titles (And A Few That Don't)

Eleven films that have seriously misleading titles:

Trainspotting
No, it's not about a fat middle-aged man perched on the end of the platform at London Bridge with a notepad & thermos, having a furtive w@nk when the 15:54 to Orpington goes past. It's about smackheads.

Three Men & A Baby
Sounds like it should feature Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter & an, as yet unnamed, BBC presenter. But it doesn't, it's just a sh1t film.

Three Men & A Little Lady
Similar to above. Why couldn't it be called "Three Men & Mila Kunis"?

Jaws
Wasn't really about jaws, was more about the couple of tons of great white shark attached to the jaws & the hundreds of teeth at one end of the aforementioned great white shark. Title suggests the film is about a three-way conversation between Jimmy Hill, Jay Leno & Quentin Tarantino.

Cloverfield
Seriously, wtf?

Fanny By Gaslight
Don't bother, massive disappointment.

Fanny & Alexander
See above.

Alive
Eh? Most of them were dead!

A Clockwork Orange
It's about Beethoven, ultra-violence & the state removing the ability of the individual to make moral choices, not about the latest limp-wristed Turner prize nomination.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Nothing's eating Gilbert Grape, Gilbert is fine (it's really just Johnny Depp looking pensive & moody).

400 Blows
400?! There's not even one! Stick with Deep Throat.


And three that don't:

Kick-Ass
Yup. Should really have been called "Serious Kick-Ass".

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?
This film does actually exist, though there's no need to watch it after reading the title.

Dude Where's My Car?
Dude can't remember where he parked his car which is like… totally not awesome.


And one that sort of does:

Sling Blade
Karl has a sling blade (some people call it a Kaiser blade but Karl calls it a sling blade). Karl is a bit of a nutter. Doyle annoys Karl. Karl kills Doyle with a lawnmower blade. Mmm.

Nice ones Galted

The Great Escape - Most died/got caught.

American Pies 2/3/3.... - No pies.

City Slickers - Those three were far from slick.

The Silence of the Lambs

Anyone expecting a Welsh farmer, over sized wellies and some gaffatape will be bitterly disappointed.

Reservoir Dogs

Not even canals and cats involved.

Die Hard

He didn't die and unless he got off on the adrenalin rush of being shot at I don't think he was hard.

Snatch

Yeah not going there.

Goodfellas - They were naughty fellas

The Shining - nothing shines.

Green Street - not a green street in sight.

Blade Runner - there is no f*cking ice skating!!

The NeverEnding Story - it ends.

The Karate Kid (2010) - kid learns Kung Fu.

good choices people - no longer will 606 v2ers have the wool pulled over our eyes by film studios

Ah Galted, you and your alternative film universe. Good work again.

Blade Runner - Although Darryl Hannah has a passing resemblance to Reeva Steenkamp, Harrison Ford looks nothing like Pistorius.

Hero wrote:The Silence of the Lambs

Anyone expecting a Welsh farmer, over sized wellies and some gaffatape will be bitterly disappointed.

As a Welshman, I was.

Ron Burgundy: Anchorman

No nautical weights of any kind were involved in this film.

Tyrannosaur

Anyone expecting a Jurassic Park spin off will be left disappointed

Million Dollar Baby

Not about the most expensive surrogacy in history

Free Willy

it's about a whale ? wtf

The Constant Gardener

Not Alan Titchmarsh's life story

The Squid and The Whale

no squid , no whale

Marathon Man - No chocolate bars in sight

Escape to Victory - They won BEFORE they escaped.

127 hours - pretty sure the film was a bit under 2 hours (unlike the closing scenes in the LOTR, which were 127 hours long).

Bit of a 2 Pac film related theme:

Poetic Justice - this is not a film about a crime fighting poet!!

Juice - not about fruit being pressed into a liquid form.

Gridlock'd - no traffic jams!!

dummy_half wrote:Escape to Victory - They won BEFORE they escaped.

127 hours - pretty sure the film was a bit under 2 hours (unlike the closing scenes in the LOTR, which were 127 hours long).

The game finished 4 - 4 so there wasn't even a victory !

Falling Down - Nobody comically falls down anywhere.


One Flew Over a Cuckoo's Nest - No cuckoos, no nests and certainly no flying mental patients.

Pretty Woman - It had Julia Roberts

Cheaper by the Dozen

seriously ? it costs me a fortune feeding 2

Twister

very disappointing to find out no-one was putting left hand on red , right foot green

Kenny wrote:Twister

very disappointing to find out no-one was putting left hand on red , right foot green

Or that no-one was eating a green and white stripey ice cream.

Shag - turned out to be a film about an American dance craze.

Chariots of Fire - no chariots, no fires - bunch of f'ing jokers!

Mission Impossible. There was a mission but it turned out to be possible.

Howard's end.

Thankfully it wasn't about the titular anatomical part.

Gone in 60 seconds: I counted this film at 1hr 45mins.

Snow White- Imagine my shock when I realised it wasnt about Winter.

White Men Cant Jump- Only to be shown for two hours that they can

Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King- Okay, it might have been correct, I dont know wasnt awake for long enough to find out.

The Terminal- I was convinced I was about to watch a film about a man with terminal cancer.

Forrest Gump- Had very little to do with a forrest, or GUMP ( G - Gas U - Undercarriage M - Mixture P - Propeller)

Philadelphia - had sod all to do with cream cheese.

superflyweight wrote:Philadelphia - had sod all to do with cream cheese.

Just got back from Sainsbury's & was going to mention Philadelphia - I'm sure you can imagine my anger when I saw that you'd beaten me to it.

I feel for you, man!

Layer Cake - A cake was never shown.

The Cannonball Run. No sign of any cannons at all. Just Burt Reynolds & Dom DeLuise in a souped up ambulance with a weird Doctor & Farraf Fawcett plus a couple of chicks in tight fitting bodysuits in a Lamborghini. At least the Gumball Rally had some gumballs in it.

And as Clarkson once said, the "reboot" of The Italian Job (that rubbish Marky Wahlberg movie which was really a BMW marketing tool for the new Mini...), it wasn't in Italy and there was no "job" so it should have just been called "The".

Halloween 3

Primary Colors - Nothing about an art class at all.

Enter the Dragon - The dragon missed his cue! Where was he for 90 minutes?

Nowhere Boy - Does Liverpool count as "nowhere"? Honestly?

Fast Five - There was no sign of Abs, J , Ritchie , Scott or Sean giving up food

Safe House - Safe ? everyone got shot !

man on fire - i was expecting some religious protest flick

The Warriors - No sign of Carl Froch anywhere

Alien 3...........There was only one in it..

Wall e - I was expecting a film about the childhood classic football game played against a wall

Pulp Fiction - A slapstick comedy involving a caricature of Jarvis Cocker it was not!

Signs - I was disappointed to find that it wasn't two hours of examining the history of Britain's highway code.

Star Wars - Not a Royal Rumble between Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, Elvis, Buddy Holly, Arnie and others, you say?

compelling and rich wrote:Wall e - I was expecting a film about the childhood classic football game played against a wall

Brilliant