About v2Post match head lines
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quinsforever
beshocked
Scrumpy
Taffineastbourne
George Carlin
gregortree
Casartelli
doctor_grey
OzT
Cyril
fa0019
SecretFly
Biltong
munkian
jimmyinthewell68
Bathman_in_London
GloriousEmpire
kiakahaaotearoa
Mr Bounce
Duty281
bedfordwelsh
R!skysports
26 posters
The v2 Forum :: Sport :: Rugby Union :: International
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Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:39 pm
Just for a wee bit of fun (and something that started on another thread), I thought it would be enjoyable to write the headlines across the country if your team won or lost...
To start, if Scotland lost to South African this weekend, the headlines in each country could be
In Scotland
"Braveheart Scots heart broken by spirited defeat"
or
"Third division football provides thrilling nil- nil draw in front of record crowd of 2 sheep and a heron, in other news Scotland have a rugby team... allegedly"...
In England
"South Africa Rumble on"
In Wales
"Scotland's pre-season hits a bump"
In Ireland
"Sunday rugby leads to higher Guinness Sales, but less crac"
Have fun on Friday (and remember this is just some light hearted fun)
To start, if Scotland lost to South African this weekend, the headlines in each country could be
In Scotland
"Braveheart Scots heart broken by spirited defeat"
or
"Third division football provides thrilling nil- nil draw in front of record crowd of 2 sheep and a heron, in other news Scotland have a rugby team... allegedly"...
In England
"South Africa Rumble on"
In Wales
"Scotland's pre-season hits a bump"
In Ireland
"Sunday rugby leads to higher Guinness Sales, but less crac"
Have fun on Friday (and remember this is just some light hearted fun)
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Re: Post match head lines
by bedfordwelsh Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:45 pm
If Wales win
Mighty Wales get back to winning ways against the SH.
If We lose
We doomed doomed I tell the end of the World is nigh bring back Barry Benny Gareth and the like etc etc
Mighty Wales get back to winning ways against the SH.
If We lose
We doomed doomed I tell the end of the World is nigh bring back Barry Benny Gareth and the like etc etc
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Re: Post match head lines
by Duty281 Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:49 pm
If England win, any of these:
New Zealand caught Coled.
Ash to splash.
Fo-midable.
Laying down the English Lawes.
England very (Rob) Shaw of win.
England Launch to victory.
All Hart and soul.
It's a Goode day to be English.
New Zealand's defence Flooded.
Well you get the idea.
New Zealand caught Coled.
Ash to splash.
Fo-midable.
Laying down the English Lawes.
England very (Rob) Shaw of win.
England Launch to victory.
All Hart and soul.
It's a Goode day to be English.
New Zealand's defence Flooded.
Well you get the idea.
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Re: Post match head lines
by Mr Bounce Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:51 pm
In England: "Ashton in 4 try shocker as undisciplined ABs throw away certain win as two are sent off" (well it MIGHT happen...) 
In NZ " 'Biased refereeing is a disgrace' says Hansen after McCaw & Read sent off. 'They were perfectly within their rights'"
Wales: "Where now? Gatland's men in desperate late minute loss AGAIN"
Scotland: "Deep-fried Mars Bars not the way forward, says Scotland rugby nutritionist"
In NZ " 'Biased refereeing is a disgrace' says Hansen after McCaw & Read sent off. 'They were perfectly within their rights'"
Wales: "Where now? Gatland's men in desperate late minute loss AGAIN"
Scotland: "Deep-fried Mars Bars not the way forward, says Scotland rugby nutritionist"
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Re: Post match head lines
by kiakahaaotearoa Fri 15 Nov 2013, 1:04 pm
Scotland Kebabs Provoke Violent Behaviour says a McDs survey
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Re: Post match head lines
by bedfordwelsh Fri 15 Nov 2013, 1:20 pm
[quote="Mr Bounce"]
Wales: "Where now? Gatland's men in desperate late minute loss AGAIN"
Thats most probably the nearest to a true headline
Wales: "Where now? Gatland's men in desperate late minute loss AGAIN"
Thats most probably the nearest to a true headline
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Re: Post match head lines
by GloriousEmpire Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:11 pm
Daily mail following All Blacks victory:
"Thieving Foreign Referee Cannot Be Deported due to Human Rights Act Despite Stealing Victory From England"
"Thieving Foreign Referee Cannot Be Deported due to Human Rights Act Despite Stealing Victory From England"
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Re: Post match head lines
by Bathman_in_London Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:13 pm
Being realistic:
'Agony again for Wales'
'Blackout' - Always seems to appear
'Springboks too much for spirited Scotland'
'Irish eyes are smiling' - again, always seems to appear at some point
'Agony again for Wales'
'Blackout' - Always seems to appear
'Springboks too much for spirited Scotland'
'Irish eyes are smiling' - again, always seems to appear at some point
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Re: Post match head lines
by Bathman_in_London Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:17 pm
I think you forgot to mention house prices.GloriousEmpire wrote:Daily mail following All Blacks victory:
"Thieving Foreign Referee Cannot Be Deported due to Human Rights Act Despite Stealing Victory From England"
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Re: Post match head lines
by Mr Bounce Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:22 pm
The Daily Express will probably mention Princess Diana.Bathman_in_London wrote:I think you forgot to mention house prices.GloriousEmpire wrote:Daily mail following All Blacks victory:
"Thieving Foreign Referee Cannot Be Deported due to Human Rights Act Despite Stealing Victory From England"
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Re: Post match head lines
by jimmyinthewell68 Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:23 pm
Wales lose . Wales been argy bargdy again .
Wales win . gatlands giants grind game to win
Wales win . gatlands giants grind game to win
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Re: Post match head lines
by munkian Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:25 pm
Pumas singed by Wales
All Black all better again
Wee Jock Poo McPlop
BOD not picked for Wallabies shame
All Black all better again
Wee Jock Poo McPlop
BOD not picked for Wallabies shame
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Re: Post match head lines
by Bathman_in_London Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:27 pm
Maybe 'Keith Wood fury as Wallabies prevent BOD from scoring'munkian wrote:Pumas singed by Wales
All Black all better again
Wee Jock Poo McPlop
BOD not picked for Wallabies shame
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Re: Post match head lines
by Biltong Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:27 pm
Irish news - Irish eyes are smiling.
English news - The dark descent.
Scottish news - the Murrayfield Massacre.
Wales news - The Dragon breathes fire once again.
English news - The dark descent.
Scottish news - the Murrayfield Massacre.
Wales news - The Dragon breathes fire once again.
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Re: Post match head lines
by SecretFly Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:30 pm
If New Zealand win:
McCaw's frequent offsides go unpunished again.
If England win:
New Zealand on the toilet seat again
McCaw's frequent offsides go unpunished again.
If England win:
New Zealand on the toilet seat again
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Re: Post match head lines
by fa0019 Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:31 pm
SA news.... "Big Jim Hamilton is the biggest thug in world rugby according to Bakkies".
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Re: Post match head lines
by munkian Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:32 pm
Horwill drops BOD ! (on head)Bathman_in_London wrote:Maybe 'Keith Wood fury as Wallabies prevent BOD from scoring'munkian wrote:Pumas singed by Wales
All Black all better again
Wee Jock Poo McPlop
BOD not picked for Wallabies shame
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Re: Post match head lines
by SecretFly Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:32 pm
Wales win:
The ref ruined the game
Argentina win:
The ref ruined the game
The ref ruined the game
Argentina win:
The ref ruined the game
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Re: Post match head lines
by SecretFly Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:33 pm
Nice one...I'd read that article.fa0019 wrote:SA news.... "Big Jim Hamilton is the biggest thug in world rugby according to Bakkies".
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Re: Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:34 pm
If Scotland win
In Scotland
"Braveheart Scots bish bask bosh the boks"
In England
"Scotland beat weakened South Africa"
In Wales
"Pre-season jump as Scotland down the Boks"
In Ireland
"To be sure, to be sure - Scotland sure footed win"
In Scotland
"Braveheart Scots bish bask bosh the boks"
In England
"Scotland beat weakened South Africa"
In Wales
"Pre-season jump as Scotland down the Boks"
In Ireland
"To be sure, to be sure - Scotland sure footed win"
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Re: Post match head lines
by Cyril Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:35 pm
Russell Crowe, Lucy Lawless, Peter Jackson, Neil Finn, Shortland Street - Your Boys Took A Hell of A Beating!
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Re: Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:37 pm
Wales win:
"Wales re-discovers winning form and now are second best team in the world"
Argentina win:
"Gatland blames wrong sort of roof over stadium"
"Wales re-discovers winning form and now are second best team in the world"
Argentina win:
"Gatland blames wrong sort of roof over stadium"
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Re: Post match head lines
by SecretFly Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:38 pm
Scotland win:
Scotland tell Vern Cotter to stay away
South Africa win:
South Africa snub Scotland by not showing for the second half.
Scotland tell Vern Cotter to stay away
South Africa win:
South Africa snub Scotland by not showing for the second half.
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Re: Post match head lines
by OzT Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:45 pm
Lucy taking a beating, hmmm ,now that'll be a show worth watching......
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Re: Post match head lines
by doctor_grey Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:45 pm
All Blacks go down to a bunch of Ash-holesDuty281 wrote:If England win, any of these:
New Zealand caught Coled.
Ash to splash.
Fo-midable.
Laying down the English Lawes.
England very (Rob) Shaw of win.
England Launch to victory.
All Hart and soul.
It's a Goode day to be English.
New Zealand's defence Flooded.
Well you get the idea.
or, conversely
ABs jump on the Ash-holes
Or the ever popular
Ref controversy ruins rugby win for (fill in the blank)________________
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Re: Post match head lines
by Biltong Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:48 pm
How about ash- es to ash-es, dust to dust
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Re: Post match head lines
by OzT Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:49 pm
Can't do that Bilts, that was an aussie cricket chant....
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
if lillie don't get ya
thommo must
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
if lillie don't get ya
thommo must
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Re: Post match head lines
by GloriousEmpire Fri 15 Nov 2013, 2:54 pm
England win nzherald:
"All Blacks refuse to blame scapegoats or excuses, despite scapegoats and excuses being to blame"
"All Blacks refuse to blame scapegoats or excuses, despite scapegoats and excuses being to blame"
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Re: Post match head lines
by Casartelli Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:06 pm
Western Mail front page;
"Halfpenny & Henson for Strictly Xmas Special?"
Back page might have something about the actual rugby.
"Halfpenny & Henson for Strictly Xmas Special?"
Back page might have something about the actual rugby.
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Re: Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:06 pm
Any NH team win
In the GreyGhost times
"Petty small minded refs ruin game while biased fans sing songs that disrespects the Haka by making noise"
In the GreyGhost times
"Petty small minded refs ruin game while biased fans sing songs that disrespects the Haka by making noise"
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Re: Post match head lines
by GloriousEmpire Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:27 pm
NH paper (any) following narrow England victory due to small minded petty refereeing blatantly cheating for 80 minutes to hand a marketing victory to the RFU to bolster their profile prior to 2015:
"World beaters England Simply The Best Ever As They Crush Hapless Arrogant Kiwis In Display Only English Team Could Produce Due To Our General Superiorness at Being Human"
"World beaters England Simply The Best Ever As They Crush Hapless Arrogant Kiwis In Display Only English Team Could Produce Due To Our General Superiorness at Being Human"
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Re: Post match head lines
by gregortree Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:33 pm
Not the Western Mail. More like "Lucky England helped by homer ref", before moving on to extoll the virtues of the open running style of Wales Rugby'GloriousEmpire wrote:NH paper (any) following narrow England victory due to small minded petty refereeing blatantly cheating for 80 minutes to hand a marketing victory to the RFU to bolster their profile prior to 2015:
"World beaters England Simply The Best Ever As They Crush Hapless Arrogant Kiwis In Display Only English Team Could Produce Due To Our General Superiorness at Being Human"
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Re: Post match head lines
by George Carlin Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:40 pm
I'm waiting for:
Dylan Hartley removes opponent's testicles and throws them into Row K.
That's a lot of balls, says Hansen.
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Re: Post match head lines
by Taffineastbourne Fri 15 Nov 2013, 3:47 pm
If Wales put a record score on Argentina,here in England the headline would be:
Kettering Town 0 Eastbourne Borough 0 !
Kettering Town 0 Eastbourne Borough 0 !
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Re: Post match head lines
by Scrumpy Fri 15 Nov 2013, 4:06 pm
If England beat NZ
The Forgotten Lions Roar (Again!)
Ireland beat Aus
BOD is GOD Warren.
Wales beat Arg
30-3....
Scotland beat SA
Celtic still Top
The Forgotten Lions Roar (Again!)
Ireland beat Aus
BOD is GOD Warren.
Wales beat Arg
30-3....
Scotland beat SA
Celtic still Top
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Re: Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 4:28 pm
Scotland win
"Scotland dark horses for 6 nations"
reality
"Scotland raises hopes to dash them on the rocks of dispair"
"Scotland dark horses for 6 nations"
reality
"Scotland raises hopes to dash them on the rocks of dispair"
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Re: Post match head lines
by beshocked Fri 15 Nov 2013, 4:28 pm
New Zealand win: Dan's the man.
England win: A tale of Two Billy's.
Scotland win: Taylor made victory.
South Africa win: Bismark sinks Scotland.
England win: A tale of Two Billy's.
Scotland win: Taylor made victory.
South Africa win: Bismark sinks Scotland.
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Re: Post match head lines
by quinsforever Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:00 pm
Daily Mail (NZ win): best ever ABs finish the year unbeaten first time ever
DM (NZ loss): Lancaster's Bombers end ABs unbeaten run...again
DM (NZ loss): Lancaster's Bombers end ABs unbeaten run...again
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Re: Post match head lines
by ChequeredJersey Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:23 pm
And doctors and how they are systematically ruining the universeBathman_in_London wrote:I think you forgot to mention house prices.GloriousEmpire wrote:Daily mail following All Blacks victory:
"Thieving Foreign Referee Cannot Be Deported due to Human Rights Act Despite Stealing Victory From England"
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Re: Post match head lines
by GloriousEmpire Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:36 pm
Ok
"House prices soar as filthy euro-MPs gorge in orgy of trafficked Roma girls at tax payers expense whilst you will be arrested and thrown in prison if so much as mention St George in passing despite terrorist immigrant asylum seekers using the human rights act to hand victory to the All Blacks before killer asian storm threatens royal family..."
"House prices soar as filthy euro-MPs gorge in orgy of trafficked Roma girls at tax payers expense whilst you will be arrested and thrown in prison if so much as mention St George in passing despite terrorist immigrant asylum seekers using the human rights act to hand victory to the All Blacks before killer asian storm threatens royal family..."
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Re: Post match head lines
by R!skysports Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:38 pm
Bit long for a head-line imoGloriousEmpire wrote:Ok
"House prices soar as filthy euro-MPs gorge in orgy of trafficked Roma girls at tax payers expense whilst you will be arrested and thrown in prison if so much as mention St George in passing despite terrorist immigrant asylum seekers using the human rights act to hand victory to the All Blacks before killer asian storm threatens royal family..."
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Re: Post match head lines
by GloriousEmpire Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:41 pm
True. I was forgetting the semi-literate readership. It's not the guardian.
How about just "THEY'RE ALL SCUM!"
How about just "THEY'RE ALL SCUM!"
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Re: Post match head lines
by ChequeredJersey Fri 15 Nov 2013, 5:45 pm
Also, if the All Blacks won, wouldn't the Mail do what they usually do and just make up their own facts and claim an English victory?
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Re: Post match head lines
by quinsforever Fri 15 Nov 2013, 6:05 pm
after a close match with england losing at half time, they stage an incredible recovery and win the match...
DailyMail: Lions take Kiwis from behind
DailyMail: Lions take Kiwis from behind
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Re: Post match head lines
by KiaRose Fri 15 Nov 2013, 6:13 pm
Or distort the facts?ChequeredJersey wrote:Also, if the All Blacks won, wouldn't the Mail do what they usually do and just make up their own facts and claim an English victory?
How's about
England 3 New Zealand 1 (cards ...)
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Re: Post match head lines
by George Carlin Fri 15 Nov 2013, 6:37 pm
"England let those jolly decent Black chaps take a record victory. Because that's what people with proper wicker picnic baskets do. Tally ho."
The National Enquirer might not be the only paper that covers it.
The National Enquirer might not be the only paper that covers it.
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Re: Post match head lines
by doctor_grey Fri 15 Nov 2013, 8:10 pm
England Win: GloriousEmpire to parade naked down Regent Street holding a placard reading "Owen Farrell has the cutest bum"GloriousEmpire wrote:England win nzherald:
"All Blacks refuse to blame scapegoats or excuses, despite scapegoats and excuses being to blame"
ABs win: Doc Grey is Phooked
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Re: Post match head lines
by Cyril Fri 15 Nov 2013, 8:13 pm
Replace "Owen Farrell has the cutest bum" with "Subway Meal Deal This Way" and you're describing his average day. They're not keen on him doing it naked, but that's the way he rolls.doctor_grey wrote:England Win: GloriousEmpire to parade naked down Regent Street holding a placard reading "Owen Farrell has the cutest bum"GloriousEmpire wrote:England win nzherald:
"All Blacks refuse to blame scapegoats or excuses, despite scapegoats and excuses being to blame"
ABs win: Doc Grey is Phooked
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Re: Post match head lines
by doctor_grey Fri 15 Nov 2013, 8:30 pm
Best laugh of the day, mate.............
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Re: Post match head lines
by Breadvan Sat 16 Nov 2013, 11:00 am
Daily mail..NZ win marred by portly kiwi pitch invader attacking referee after penalising all black crocked scrum feed.
Western mail...Welsh squad rampage down St Mary st after narrow win. Saint appeals for calm
Irish inde... BOD and wood in Gatland effigy shame.
Daily record...Salmond declared win over SA victory for independence.
Western mail...Welsh squad rampage down St Mary st after narrow win. Saint appeals for calm
Irish inde... BOD and wood in Gatland effigy shame.
Daily record...Salmond declared win over SA victory for independence.
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