Why I stopped watching porn

In this TEDx talk Ran Gavrieli talks about the why he stopped watching internet pornography and describes that damage watching porn can do to yourself and society.



THe points he raises are

1. Porn is an extension of the prostitution business and sex trade.

2. Watching porn has dangerous emotional and psychological consequences for those who watch it.


I have to say I agree with both these points and believe he makes a compelling case for not watching porn, especially as its link to abuse of women is established and therefore it is immoral on those grounds alone. By watching you are creating demand for the abuse of women. I of course accept it is hard to give up and the user - like other addictive behaviors such as alcohol and gambling - is not fully at fault for the actions they take. But the driving force exists to provide a reason to at least try and give up on internet porn.

Well what else I'm I supposed to do when she has ANOTHER "headache"???

I think porn is brilliant.

Acting in porn is one of the few industries or professions where women are paid more than men. By watching it I am making a feminist statement.

Rowley wrote:Acting in porn is one of the few industries or professions where women are paid more than men. By watching it I am making a feminist statement.

I watched some feminist porn just the other day.

Cytherea is my favourite feminist. It would be Winona if she did a bit for the feminist movement.

Sounds like a bible basher...

Jameson, Carrera, Tyfanny Million,Victoria Paris, Kylie Ireland and of course Nina Hartley all got rich off the industry...

You ask them and they will tell you what garbage the article is...

Most models make a thousand bucks a shoot...Most like Boxers have little or no education...

Like Boxers you are either smart with your money or stupid..

Like boxing it tends to be the ones who don't think of tomorrow who feel exploited.....

Much rather know a weirdo is at home watching porn than hanging around parks...

Don't like it don't watch it but don't tell other people what to watch or what is right...

They can think for themselves..

BTW...10% of the porn made is gay porn...So if you think it's exploitation.
.Men get exploited too !!

Doesn't have to be a bible basher to hold that view Truss.

Point 1 i'd say is correct,

Point 2 muddies the water as anything can have a physcoligical effect depending on the person.

At the end of the day it's the performers choice and if you as an individual are finding a problem with it, then don't watch it and let the rest of the people that don't enjoy something that is at the end of the day legal.

Every job is exploitation in a capitalist system, none of us are paid the true value of our labour. If female porn stars are getting $1000 for an hour or 2 then they are getting a very good deal. Also, women in porn are paid far more than men so who's getting exploited?

Whilst I don't have a problem with porn industry after all it raises millions in taxes...Internet porn is a problem as it is easily found by kids who get exposed to it at a ridiculously young age....and I believe kids grow up to early these days and don't get a chance to be kids...Way more pressure on conformity than we had..

I agree with you on that Truss, but i also think that the onus falls on parents to learn how to set up firewalls etc to stop access. There's always going to be some kid that can learn to get round them, but not every kid.

Most kids know more about the internet than their parents...That's the problem.Robbie knows I'm sure where all the best porn sites and It's disgusting..

Because the little B*****d won't tell me where they are

Porn is only a problem in the same way alcohol is.

Used responsibly there is nothing wrong with it, which is why it is legal but restricted to over-18s (under 18s are kids, therefore the parents should be the responsible ones). I.e. exactly like booze.

As for exploitation, that's largely pedalled BS. My friend in the States has spent the last few years making a documentary (called 'All in a (sex) days work', if a network ever picks it up...) interviewing women working in various elements of the sex industry, and she views things very different from this faux-fended nonsense generated by the frigid and the religious. The women she speaks to say that it's these people that make theirs lives hardest, that they are doing something they either enjoy or simply put up with, in order to make good money. No coercion or exploitation.

As many have said, if anything it's the men that get exploited, in mainstream porn at least, getting paid pittance despite them being the ones with 'performance' and physical requirements. Same as in strip clubs, it's the men getting mugged off.

Randy West, Peter North, Cal Jammer and Ron Jeremy were all rich..

Fact is though most Men pay to see the Women...So like any other business the most in demand get paid more..

Men aren't exploited ..

I saw one bloke getting exploited by a 12inch strap on not so long ago. Didn't sound as if he was enjoying the gig.

Plenty of mirrors in your house...Sean ??

Most models make a thousand bucks a shoot

Those women doing Special face cream must be rolling in it...to coin a phrase

Cheaper than moisturiser

DAVE667 wrote:

Most models make a thousand bucks a shoot

Those women doing Special face cream  must be rolling in it...to coin a phrase

Can't believe you censored b.u.kkake.....there are people on here who think it's a form of martial arts...although technically it's a lack of self defence on the lady's part.

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Cheaper than moisturiser

Do you enjoy a good protein shake truss??

Love one...shaken not stirred.

I agree that porn is dangerous.

but sex is taboo. With porn we can visualise our fantasies instead of just thinking about it. I will allow the late Bill Hicks to explain

[size=12.222222328186035]“Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts; that's their definition, essentially. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmm. . . . Sounds like . . . every commercial on television, doesn't it?”[/size]

The British definition was, at some point "That which is deemed to corrupt and deprave"

They used a very broad brush then.

There was a Lynda La Plante mini series in the 90's called "Comics" and the main character, a maverick American comedian called Johnny Lazaar (kind of a Bill Hicks character) did a skit about porn and how people get desensitized to it. He said that in the USA people use sex to advertise so many products that when he was in England and saw some porn his first thought was, "Hmm, I really must buy some stamps"

Porn is fine in moderation. However if you start to develop carpal tunnel syndrome, "tennis" elbow or any other type of repetitive strain injury then its probably time to get help.

The argument that a tiny minority of porn actors make a decent living is an extremely weak defense of watching porn when you consider that for every actor making a decent wage there will be hundreds on exploitative wages. When watching porn there is currently no way for the user to check if those acting in the production were treated with respect and not abused in any way.

Given that we cannot check the welfare of those we are watching is it really acceptable to watch? Every time you watch a scene - even unknowingly - where a woman is abused you are adding to the sex trade demand, and adding credibility to abusing women.

Again, I agree it is hard to give up porn and would equate it with any other addiction, but to state that there are no moral issues with watching an abusive porn industry is to ignore the brutality and unfairness of the business model.

Only a small minority make money because most chuck it away on partying...

Most have the capacity to make good money...

McLaren wrote:The argument that a tiny minority of porn actors make a decent living is an extremely weak defense of watching porn when you consider that for every actor making a decent wage there will be hundreds on exploitative wages.  When watching porn there is currently no way for the user to check if those acting in the production were treated with respect and not abused in any way.

Given that we cannot check the welfare of those we are watching is it really acceptable to watch?  Every time you watch a scene - even unknowingly - where a woman is abused you are adding to the sex trade demand, and adding credibility to abusing women.

Again, I agree it is hard to give up porn and would equate it with any other addiction, but to state that there are no moral issues with watching an abusive porn industry is to ignore the brutality and unfairness of the business model.

How small is that 'minority' though? We're not just talking about millionaires here, were talking about people making a good living wage. What's exploitative? Do you even know what you're talking about as the way you articulate your arguments sounds like you've never actually known or spoken to anyone involved in the sex industry.

Exploited is girls being illegally shipped over and made to work in dingy brothels for £50 a pop, not strippers earning £300 a night or porn actresses earning up to ten times that for a shoot.

What is abuse? You say a woman is being 'abused', but how are you measuring this? Are you saying there is no consent (strikes me as a very different thing) or are you just talking about the more extreme end of the spectrum where girls are extremely roughly f***ed?? What about homemade/gonzo porn? What about webcamming which has really taken off in recent years (even featuring in national newspapers recently) where either singles or couples play around in the comfort of their own home in return for 'tokens' which correspond to monetary value.

In short, you're talking out your arris and your attitude does nothing to help those you pertain to concern about.

Lara Roxx contracted Hiv in her first picture...She was on ABC being interviewed got paid 2000 bucks for her scene...An hour's work..

Asia Carrera and Victoria Paris had degrees and turned down careers in the City to make big money in the porn business..

If you have the goods and the right attitude....You can make a fortune..

Most though pee it all away.

Porn is objectification of women (and men if you count gay porn) in its purest sense. Nothing about the woman is of any consequence except her body; and in the mind of the user, she exists for no other reason than to give pleasure. She is then 'discarded', so to speak, once the user is satisfied. This attitude toward a woman in a real relationship would be catastrophic, and porn-use blurs the boundaries between real-life interaction with women and cyber-objectification of women.

Hence, porn in the hands of teenagers (an awkward phrase given the topic: my apologies) is especially dangerous, given their lack of experience of real sexual (and platonic) relationships, sets them up with wildly unrealistic and even destructive expectations for sexual relationships.

Porn is essentially a solo activity. Whereas real sex is a co-operative activity. Research has indicated that in some instances the more people use porn, the less satisfying they find real sex, because the porn user is not accustomed to having to satisfy another person in the process of being satisfied themselves! Furthermore, as a solo-activity, porn is like the icing on the cake - all the titillation and dopamine release - without cake, the sustenance of a real relationship and intimacy with a real human being. This can, in some instances lead to a cycle of depression, wherein people seek to fill the relational-emptiness created by their sex-drive with a non-relational substitute for an intimately relational activity; and then are depressed by the fact that they're still relationally frustrated and un-satisfied!

Objectification?

It's a contract. They're getting paid and accepting what it entails to earn that much money that quickly/easily.

And believe it or not some do actually enjoy their jobs.

Tophat

What a naive world you live in where woman happily sign up to porn just because they want to.

I think you're equally naive if you think they all don't want to.

I refer primarily to the damage done to the user/viewer, rather than to the actress , and that porn promotes objectification of women who aren't porn actresses by people who've grown accustomed to objectification of women because of their frequent porn use.

TopHat24/7 wrote:Objectification?

It's a contract. They're getting paid and accepting what it entails to earn that much money that quickly/easily.

And believe it or not some do actually enjoy their jobs.

And this, while it may be true in some instances, is not relevant to the question, which I was addressing, of whether it is healthy for society.
For example: a criminal hitman may enter a contract freely, get paid well, and enjoy his job, this does not mean that his profession is encouragable or even permissible in a healthy society.

Please note: this is not to say that I am equating the level of 'criminality', shall we say, of a hitman and a porn actress.

Mr Fishpaste...What a load of pretentious drivel...

Hundreds of thousands of family men like myself watch porn...It doesn't affect my relationship....

Women actually watch porn too..

It's fantasy like watching an Arnie movie...

Get out more..

Mr Fishpaste wrote:

TopHat24/7 wrote:Objectification?

It's a contract. They're getting paid and accepting what it entails to earn that much money that quickly/easily.

And believe it or not some do actually enjoy their jobs.

And this, while it may be true in some instances, is not relevant to the question, which I was addressing, of whether it is healthy for society.
For example: a criminal hitman may enter a contract freely, get paid well, and enjoy his job, this does not mean that his profession is encouragable or even permissible in a healthy society.

Please note: this is not to say that I am equating the level of 'criminality', shall we say, of a hitman and a porn actress.

As per McLaren though, what porn counts? In your eyes?

Just the really rough stuff? What about the porn targeted at the female market which is less hardcore and more heavily emphasise storyline? What about soft-core, i.e. just a flash of boob? Or do you want us to retrench to full on Victorian style 'flash of the ankle' stuff (would note at this point that, behind closed doors, the Victorians were absolutely filthy bugg.ers, invented the d!ldo ffs)?

And re impact on relationships, 1) as per Truss, the reality is the vast amount of evidence disputes your theory as there are literally millions, if not billions, of men in healthy respectful relationships across the world that watch the odd bit of porn now and again; and 2) ever thought that maybe part of the impact is not to do with objectification, there's no loss of respect, it's just men are being shown what CAN be done in the bedroom therefore are holding their partners (perhaps unfairly) to higher standards?

McLaren wrote:Tophat

What a naive world you live in where woman happily sign up to porn just because they want to.

You really are a clueless narrow-minded sheltered little man.

You've clearly never made any effort to speak to any woman involved in these industries as you've no idea what you're talking about. I talked this point through with a woman who'd interviewed almost a hundred (by that point) women involved in various guises of the sexual industries and if she were on the thread now (as a vastly better informed person than you) she would be flipping her lid at your patronising small-mindedness.

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Mr Fishpaste...What a load of pretentious drivel...

Sorry

TRUSSMAN66 wrote: Hundreds of thousands of family men like myself watch porn...It doesn't affect my relationship....

I'm glad your relationship is unaffected. However, there is a growing body of research that seems to indicate that your unaffected relationship might not be representative of the other 'hundreds of thousands' as you think!

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Women actually watch porn too..

Yes and women can also objectify men (and other women, and themselves) none of which, in my opinion is healthy.

TRUSSMAN66 wrote: It's fantasy like watching an Arnie movie...

Except that the dopamine release associated with 'porn-related' activities, leads to reinforcement of neural-pathways and therefore is much more habit-forming and attitude-forming than Arnie

TRUSSMAN66 wrote:Get out more...

I do get out a lot: I've only posted on the website 472 times!   

Finally. I've said all I have to say. Don't feel obliged to agree.

Mr Fishpaste wrote:, and that porn promotes objectification of women who aren't porn actresses by people who've grown accustomed to objectification of women because of their frequent porn use.

Same applies to midgets. Can't look at one without thinking back to that scene.....

'A growing body of research', based on minute samples of men compared to the planets entire population.

I'd say the treatment of women is infinitely worse in countries with the least liberal attitudes towards sexual freedom and women's individuality.

Why I stopped watching porn...the endless arguments with my wife were making it increasing difficult to remain aroused?

Why I stopped watching porn...my neighbor was getting annoyed that I was always round his house watching it on his his tv/computer

Why I stopped watching porn...I went blind

Why I stopped watching porn...there's a woman who lives near me who bears a striking resemblance to a porn actress/star and she doesn't appreciate me asking if she'll come round my house and do "that thing she does with her tongue"

Why I stopped watching porn...the internet debate/handwringing sessions were far more arousing.

Once I took a photo of my willy with a Polaroid and I didn't feel that exploited.

Galted wrote:Once I took a photo of my willy with a Polaroid and I didn't feel that exploited.

Have you ever been to a wedding / birthday party where they leave a disposable camera on the table? Mate did that, schoolboy error. His mum got them developed and it was reel to reel hampton.

  

It's incidents like that that give me faith in people.

My hampton often makes an appearance at weddings. Another one took place in a marquee next to the ruins of a castle. The ruins were lit up by spotlights fixed in the surrounding lawns. I managed to project a silhouette of my hampton on to the ruins although it would have had a much more pleasing effect if i'd been able to muster a boner and I didn't have to hold it.

You've just become a legend amongst my colleagues, michaels.

Im not sure I'd ever heard of a man who stopped watching porn because it is exploitation.... Good on you.

Don't change the subject, kingraf. Michaels has seen the shadow of his John Thomas on the side of a castle.

Galted wrote:Don't change the subject, kingraf.  Michaels has seen the shadow of his John Thomas on the side of a castle.

You can recreate it quite easily with a torch in a bedroom although missus stopped finding that funny a long time ago

Think I may have mentioned this before but another good trick is going to the urinals next to a stranger and pull your jeans and boxers/pants down around your ankles and urinate just as a young child would. You usually need one guy to commit the deed and another to act as a 'spotter' for the strangers reaction. You can have endless fun with that one.

I admit, that is a rather impressive feat - I tried to show mine off once in Koln, was too drunk to properly take off my pants... Ahh I miss being 16 and in Germany...