Jeff Stelling consumption game

I am no way advocating drinking, but as its the last day of the season sunday and its always fun to have your friends around, what will you all be doing?

B/S!! What rules do you all have for your versions of the Jeff Stelling Drinking Game? Obv's the easier ones to remember are the best.
Ill collate them into the original post, so we can all follow them.

Ill Start:

If Kammy Says "Unbelievable Jeff" then Consume all of your Beverage!

I remember playing this with a few friends a couple of years ago, never again!

Some of the rules I remember;

Any commentator shows obvious bias towards their own team. A finger of beer.
Paul Merson uses cockney rhyming slang. A finger of beer.
Merson mispronounces a players name. A finger of beer.

Each player nominates a game. If a goal is scored in that game, they must drink a finger of beer. If there's a red card they must drink the rest of their drink.

Ud be majorally hammered if did a beer every time Merson mispronounces a players name.

I'll probably hit the vodka if we actually manage to win.

Every time Matt le Tissier shouts GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL at the top of his voice while somebody else is trying to give a report on their game, offer your soul up to Satan in return for having the irritating Sc***er possessed by demons and throwing himself off Beachy Head.

Other than that:

Neck a pint every time Stelling calls Chris Kamara "Kammy"

A shot to be consumed whenever the following are spoken:   "To be fair",  He's done well" or "Stall being set out".

If any reference to Hartlepool United is made:  Everybody finishes the drink of the person to their right.

Failure by any individual in the group to spot a "Stelling" at all in either half of the game:   Get a round in.

Failure to spot a "Stelling" in the entire match:   Stand a broom handle upright, place your forehead on it and run around it ten times, then try to  neck a pint in one.  If that doesn't give everybody a laugh, nothing will.