10 Bold Predictions - 2016/17

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Tue Aug 09, 2016 5:07 am

As most of you will remember, aside from a real prediction thread, we often have had "bold" predictions - ranging from some of us trying to be funny, to more outlandish predictions that don't fit with a standard prediction format. And instead of making it Prem only, thought I'd shove it here. So:

1. Koeman to leave Everton before the season's end

2. Llorente to score 6 or fewer goals

3. A public falling out between Mourinho and Rooney

4. John Terry to cry

5. Nottingham Forest to be relegated from the Championship

6. Klopp to receive a touchline ban for a physical altercation during a match

7. Glenn Murray top Championship goalscorer

8. Liverpool to do the double over Everton

9. All English teams to make it through the CL group stages

10. Mark Clattenburg to get his face branded on all his red and yellow cards this year

by Guest Tue Aug 09, 2016 6:18 am

1. Leicester to win the Europa League
2. Andre Gray receives an England call-up
3. Olivier Giroud top PL goalscorer
4. Victor Fischer to win a PL player of the month award
5. Leroy Sane to be the first player sent off for diving
6. Roberto Mancini to take a PL job during the season
7. Hull fail to win a single away game
8. Andros Townsend hits the first PL hat-trick of the season
9. Ibrahimovic scores against Man City, runs over to the touchline, slides on his knees in front of Pep, causing a big confrontation between players & staff.
10. In a single game, Grant Hanley scores for Newcastle, scores an own goal & receives a red card

by **Crimey** Tue Aug 09, 2016 6:50 am

1. Jurgen Klopp to serve a touchline ban.

2. Mourinho to fall out with Paul Pogba.

3. Zlaatan to score less than ten league goals.

4. Claudio Ranieri to retire at the end of the season.

5. Dimitri Payet to leave West Ham in January.

6. Mark Noble to get an England cap.

7. Steve Bruce will be back in work in the Premier League before the end of the season.

8. Hull to have less than ten points at Christmas.

9. Divock Origi to outscore Harry Kane.

10. Everton to win a cup, but finish bottom half.

by Duty281 Tue Aug 09, 2016 9:11 pm

1) Southampton to win the Premier League
2) Leicester to win the Champions League
3) Palace to finish in the top four
4) Oldham to win the FA Cup
5) Leicester to get relegated
6) Jamie Vardy to score less than 10 goals
7) England to lose a simple qualifying match, leading to much outrage
8) Arsene Wenger to depart at season's end
9) Harry Redknapp to return on his white horse to save some ailing club from relegation...only for said club to get relegated after 'Arry spends £150 million+ in January. 'No one could have kept 'em up,' says 'Arry, and the media swoon with delight.
10) Premier League attendances to fall substantially, the start of a long decline which will see the complete collapse of the Premier League in 5-6 years time.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Tue Aug 09, 2016 9:39 pm

I said bold, Duty. Don't be so conservative

by Guest Tue Aug 09, 2016 10:19 pm

1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man.

2/ Robert Huth to be sent off for trying to seriously injure Paul Pogba

3/ Robert Huth to be injured as Zlatan leaps to the defence of Paul Pogba.

4/ Fellani to pick on the smallest person on the pitch and suckerpunch them like the dirty fouling **** he is but annoying fail to hit Eden Hazard who is still due a smacking in my opinion.

5/ Arsene to strip to the waist and scream, "Come on let's f*cking 'ave it you c*nt!" as relations between him and Jose reach an all time low.

6/ Sean Dyche to leave Burnley and go on tour as NAPALM DEATH's replacement vocalist

7/ Sean Dyche to be hit on the back of the head with a stray ball, cough up whatever's in his throat and sound like Louis Spence for the rest of the season.

8/ Joe Hart to leave City and sign for Liverpool.

9/ PL footballer to be involved in scandal that makes Giggs/Terry look like a littering offence.

10/ Daniel Sturridge to go an eye-watering scoring spree and fire Liverpool to the title and at least one final (come on STURRIDGE, you can do it, son!)

by Duty281 Tue Aug 09, 2016 11:45 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:I said bold, Duty. Don't be so conservative

Oh OK then...England to lose two simple qualifying matches. Wink

by westisbest Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:17 am

1 Bournemouth to finish bottom of the league.

2 Jack Grealish to get championship player of the season.

3 one of the 3 promoted clubs to do the double over one of city Utd Chelsea Arsenal.

4 Musa to be prem top scorer.

5 Pearson to be first championship manager sacked.

6 First prem hatrick scored by Defoe.

7 Arsenal will not win a London derby.

8 Neville and Carragher to come to blows at some stage of the season.

9 Graeme Souness to actually smile at some stage of the season.

10 Will Grigg to actually be on fire and be championship top scorer.

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:43 am

westisbest wrote:
7 Arsenal will not win a London derby.

London, or North London? Surely they are gonna beat one of Watford, West Ham, Crystal Palace, Spurs or Chelsea!

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:43 am

Arsenal to resist buying someone decent then in January spending a fortune on three players from Iceland.

The "volcano clap" become extinct by November (despite it being a good way to keep your hands warm)

Clattenburg to paint the fingernails on one hand bright pink, get his nipples pierced and start wearing extra tight shirts to show them off

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:54 am

DAVE667 wrote:1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man

not really bold, it's an inevitability. I remember when Di Maria scored at Leicester, the commentators literally nearly drowned in their own cream. I imagine it will take one-step or a cruyff turn against Burnley & Gary Neville will be spunking in his pants & Sky's new addition Rachel Riley will be squirting all over Jeff Stelling's face.

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 12:55 am

John wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man

not really bold, it's an inevitability. I remember when Di Maria scored at Leicester, the commentators literally nearly drowned in their own cream. I imagine it will take one-step or a cruyff turn against Burnley & Gary Neville will be spunking in his pants & Sky's new addition Rachel Riley will be squirting all over Jeff Stelling's face.

Unbelievable!!!!!!

by Duty281 Wed Aug 10, 2016 1:04 am

Now Rachael Riley is someone who I would properly, seriously go straight for.

by westisbest Wed Aug 10, 2016 3:30 am

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:
westisbest wrote:
7 Arsenal will not win a London derby.

London, or North London? Surely they are gonna beat one of Watford, West Ham, Crystal Palace, Spurs or Chelsea!

Not counting Watford as they are not 'in' London.

Any London derby, hence why it's called 10 Bold predictions.

by nadeem2099 Wed Aug 10, 2016 6:31 am

1. Messi to get life imprisonment for tax fraud.
2. Neymar to break both his legs while 'diving' off a swimming board
3. Suarez to try and bite someone's balls off.
4. Pique to break up with Shakira when she finds out he's been banging her mother.
5. Iniesta to go bald.

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 8:40 pm

Duty281 wrote:Now Rachael Riley is someone who I would properly, seriously go straight for.

Seriously?!! FFS Duty, she has all the sex appeal of a CPR dummy and even less personality. Can't think of another woman as pretty who is as manufactured a "sex symbol" as Riley. Watching her on Strictly, it's clear that sex with her would be a tedious process only made more enjoyable by the fact it wouldn't take very long and I could go home afterwards as talking to her would drive me round the twist.

Can see why some people might fancy her but Dear Lord above, she's like Taylor Swift...bland, beige, vanilla and vapid.

by dyrewolfe Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:12 pm

DAVE667 wrote:
Duty281 wrote:Now Rachael Riley is someone who I would properly, seriously go straight for.
Seriously?!! FFS Duty, she has all the sex appeal of a CPR dummy and even less personality. Can't think of another woman as pretty who is as manufactured a "sex symbol" as Riley. Watching her on Strictly, it's clear that sex with her would be a tedious process only made more enjoyable by the fact it wouldn't take very long and I could go home afterwards as talking to her would drive me round the twist.

Can see why some people might fancy her but Dear Lord above, she's like Taylor Swift...bland, beige, vanilla and vapid.

Lol! Glad to see not everyone is taken in by superficial beauty. Agree that while she is stunning, she's not the sort of person I could imagine being in a long-term relationship with. Good as a one-night stand or possibly a "friend with benefits" but not marriage material.

Okay, on to predictions...

1. Leicester scrape into the top 6 to qualify for the Europa League
2. Man Utd to start like Usain Bolt but implode spectacularly midway through the season when Jose has another backroom bust up.
3. Rooney leaves Man Utd and follows Beckham in signing for a MLS club - also retires from international duty.
4. Chelsea cruise to the PL title, as Arsenal, Man City & Spurs are consistently inconsistent.
5. Following yet another 4th place finish Wenger finally acknowledges he's at fault for not building a stronger team, rather than blaming bad refereeing decisions.
6. Newcastle do a Boro and JUST manage automatic promotion to the PL.
7. Referees start applying the rules consistently (hey you did say "outlandish" was okay!)
8. The offside rule is changed yet again after controversy in a match involving the Big 5.
9. Boro finish in the top half of the table. Wink

10. At least one big-name signing to be involved in a sex / drugs scandal or driving offence (most likely clocked doing 150mph in their Bentley).

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:29 pm

Paul Pogba to be given the key to the City of Manchester for taking a throw in
Old Trafford to be renamed Old Pogford
Manchester to be renamed Pogchester
All Man Utd players and staff to have the word "Pog" inserted somewhere in their name.
All new children born in Pogchester to be named Poglan, Pogina, Pogette or some other Pog-based tw*ttery.
Paying over the odds for something that would be considered expensive at a fraction of the price to be called, "Doing a Pogba" the victim will have been "Pogba'd"
SKY to reintroduce the player-cam but call it Pog-cam....it will be on Pogba at all times, even when Utd aren't playing, in fact even when there's no football on, Pog-cam will be available in 4K and 3-D.

by Hammersmith harrier Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:34 pm

You're not bitter at all then Dave.

by Guest Wed Aug 10, 2016 9:51 pm

Not bitter, just bemused by the fuss over him. Yes he's decent but I can't see why everyone appears to be losing their minds. I'd suggest he won't be anywhere near as good a player or as influential as the likes of Scholes. In a game where Utd appear to be struggling is he the one that everyone on the pitch will turn to for a miracle...he didn't do it in France in arguably the biggest game of his career, so what exactly is the fuss about?

Don't get me wrong, there's every chance he'll go on to do some pretty impressive things probably against the likes of Boro and Hull (and no doubt against Liverpool...grrr) but at the moment I think the fawning and gushing is premature.

by dyrewolfe Wed Aug 10, 2016 10:55 pm

Duty281 wrote:Now Rachael Riley is someone who I would properly, seriously go straight for.

I thought Tom Daley was more your type? Erm

by Duty281 Wed Aug 10, 2016 11:14 pm

dyrewolfe wrote:
Duty281 wrote:Now Rachael Riley is someone who I would properly, seriously go straight for.

I thought Tom Daley was more your type?

True, but I wouldn't say no to darling Rachael!

by sportform Fri Aug 12, 2016 1:25 am

1) West Ham to finish in the top four.
2) Leicester toget to the quarter finals of the Champions League.
3) Arsenal not to finish in the top six.
4) John Stones to be Young Player of the Year.
5) Jesse Lingard to play more minutes for England than Rooney.
6) Man Utd to play Man City in the EFL Cup Final.
7) Pep Guardiola to storm out of at least one press conference.
8) Southampton to be in the relegation zone on Christmas Day.
9) Sunderland to finish higher than Everton.
10) Zlatan Ibrahimovic to be top goalscorer.

by Scott is Back Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:42 pm

DAVE667 wrote:1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man.

2/ Robert Huth to be sent off for trying to seriously injure Paul Pogba

3/ Robert Huth to be injured as Zlatan leaps to the defence of Paul Pogba.

4/ Fellani to pick on the smallest person on the pitch and suckerpunch them like the dirty fouling **** he is but annoying fail to hit Eden Hazard who is still due a smacking in my opinion.

5/ Arsene to strip to the waist and scream, "Come on let's f*cking 'ave it you c*nt!" as relations between him and Jose reach an all time low.

6/ Sean Dyche to leave Burnley and go on tour as NAPALM DEATH's replacement vocalist

7/ Sean Dyche to be hit on the back of the head with a stray ball, cough up whatever's in his throat and sound like Louis Spence for the rest of the season.

8/ Joe Hart to leave City and sign for Liverpool.

9/ PL footballer to be involved in scandal that makes Giggs/Terry look like a littering offence.

10/ Daniel Sturridge to go an eye-watering scoring spree and fire Liverpool to the title and at least one final (come on STURRIDGE, you can do it, son!)

How many goals can you score in an eye-watering spree, when you only play 20 mins a month? Whistle

by Guest Fri Aug 19, 2016 10:46 pm

Scott is Back wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man.

2/ Robert Huth to be sent off for trying to seriously injure Paul Pogba

3/ Robert Huth to be injured as Zlatan leaps to the defence of Paul Pogba.

4/ Fellani to pick on the smallest person on the pitch and suckerpunch them like the dirty fouling **** he is but annoying fail to hit Eden Hazard who is still due a smacking in my opinion.

5/ Arsene to strip to the waist and scream, "Come on let's f*cking 'ave it you c*nt!" as relations between him and Jose reach an all time low.

6/ Sean Dyche to leave Burnley and go on tour as NAPALM DEATH's replacement vocalist

7/ Sean Dyche to be hit on the back of the head with a stray ball, cough up whatever's in his throat and sound like Louis Spence for the rest of the season.

8/ Joe Hart to leave City and sign for Liverpool.

9/ PL footballer to be involved in scandal that makes Giggs/Terry look like a littering offence.

10/ Daniel Sturridge to go an eye-watering scoring spree and fire Liverpool to the title and at least one final (come on STURRIDGE, you can do it, son!)

How many goals can you score in an eye-watering spree, when you only play 20 mins a month?

35+..that's what makes it eye-watering.

Anyway, another bold prediction, Liverpool to keep less than 15 clean sheets but still amass more points than the last few seasons by adopting the "you score three and we'll score four or more" method.

by **Crimey** Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:47 pm

As Leicester currently have 9 points in the Champions League but only 8 points in the league, Duty's predictions could be about to play out.

Although he's not around to take the plaudits.

by **Crimey** Wed Oct 19, 2016 11:53 pm

1. Jurgen Klopp to serve a touchline ban.

Not happened and he's been quieter this season than list in terms of touchline stuff. Maybe the new rules have made him try and keep himself in check.

2. Mourinho to fall out with Paul Pogba.

Not happened, but still could. He's not thrived and Mourinho has already dropped Rooney this season. Would he do the same to Pogba?

3. Zlaatan to score less than ten league goals.

He's scored four so far, so is on track to blitz through this but he's started to get quite quiet.

4. Claudio Ranieri to retire at the end of the season.

I still think this will happen. Leicester haven't been great and I think they'll recognise the need to replace to Ranieri but sacking won't be pleasant. A nice cushy retirement for Claudio.

5. Dimitri Payet to leave West Ham in January.

West Ham haven't been great so far, so it's possible Payet will get itchy feet. Not sure who would come in for him in January though and he hasn't shown quite the same form, so unlikely West Ham would get as good a price as they would have done.

6. Mark Noble to get an England cap.

This prediction was based on Allardyce as England manager, less likely to happen now he's gone and West Ham have been underperforming.

7. Steve Bruce will be back in work in the Premier League before the end of the season.

Unlikely, unless he performs serious miracles with Aston Villa and is unexpectedly picked up by a Premier League side.

8. Hull to have less than ten points at Christmas.

Will only happen if Hull fail to win three points from now until Christmas.

9. Divock Origi to outscore Harry Kane.

Based on the fact that Origi is now third choice forward for Liverpool, this is very unlikely. Even so, Kane has only scored 2 goals so far.

10. Everton to win a cup, but finish bottom half.

Performing well in the league and already out of the EFL Cup - good one.

by Guest Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:02 am

DAVE667 wrote:1/ The world to be sick to the back f*cking teeth of Paul Pobga and the credit he gets for doing the basics whilst everyone else gets treated like the invisible man.
Seems people are just a bit fed up of Pogba doing very little to justify his pricetag

2/ Robert Huth to be sent off for trying to seriously injure Paul Pogba
Did Huth try a leave a bit on him in their match?

3/ Robert Huth to be injured as Zlatan leaps to the defence of Paul Pogba.
Failed to back his team mate up...too busy clouting Emre Can around the back of the neck, dirty sucking punching c*nt

4/ Fellani to pick on the smallest person on the pitch and suckerpunch them like the dirty fouling **** he is but annoying fail to hit Eden Hazard who is still due a smacking in my opinion.
Perhaps the only reason to watch the match at the weekend

5/ Arsene to strip to the waist and scream, "Come on let's f*cking 'ave it you c*nt!" as relations between him and Jose reach an all time low.
Dear Santa, please make this come true

6/ Sean Dyche to leave Burnley and go on tour as NAPALM DEATH's replacement vocalist
Sean's doing fine where he is

7/ Sean Dyche to be hit on the back of the head with a stray ball, cough up whatever's in his throat and sound like Louis Spence for the rest of the season.
See above

8/ Joe Hart to leave City and sign for Liverpool.
Ooh, half right

9/ PL footballer to be involved in scandal that makes Giggs/Terry look like a littering offence.
Allardyce doesn't count...pooh!

10/ Daniel Sturridge to go an eye-watering scoring spree and fire Liverpool to the title and at least one final (come on STURRIDGE, you can do it, son!)
Harry Kane took nine games to get off the mark last season, no worries (starts chewing fingernails)

by westisbest Thu Oct 20, 2016 8:34 am

westisbest wrote:1 Bournemouth to finish bottom of the league.

2 Jack Grealish to get championship player of the season.

3 one of the 3 promoted clubs to do the double over one of city Utd Chelsea Arsenal.

4 Musa to be prem top scorer.

5 Pearson to be first championship manager sacked.

6 First prem hatrick scored by Defoe.

7 Arsenal will not win a London derby.

8 Neville and Carragher to come to blows at some stage of the season.

9 Graeme Souness to actually smile at some stage of the season.

10 Will Grigg to actually be on fire and be championship top scorer.

Well got no5 right at least.

by **Crimey** Fri May 05, 2017 9:29 pm

1. Jurgen Klopp to serve a touchline ban.
Nope - he has been much calmer this year.

2. Mourinho to fall out with Paul Pogba.
Fallen out with a fair few players but not Pogba.

3. Zlaatan to score less than ten league goals.
Nope.

4. Claudio Ranieri to retire at the end of the season.
Potentially yes. Didn't expect him to be sacked, so doubt there will be an official retirement announcement.

5. Dimitri Payet to leave West Ham in January.
Correct.

6. Mark Noble to get an England cap.
Nope, Allardyce getting sacked and poor form ended this chance.

7. Steve Bruce will be back in work in the Premier League before the end of the season.
Took Villa job instead.

8. Hull to have less than ten points at Christmas.
They had 12 so just about beat my prediction.

9. Divock Origi to outscore Harry Kane.
HAHA NO.

10. Everton to win a cup, but finish bottom half.
Out of both cups and no chance of slipping down.

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