The Azzrentice 2019

by Azzy Thu 23 May 2019, 10:52 am

The football world has changed wholesale since Lord Azzy first welcomed fake online managers into his fake Boardroom more than ten years ago. Today, Lord Azzy is looking for an entrepreneurial candidate who can not only achieve success in the modern game, but make a profit. Are you that candidate?

If you would like to star in this year's Azzrentice, please notify the producers below and they will be in touch accordingly.

CONFIRMED CANDIDATES
Bam Bam
Dolph
Fernando
Trebs
Twist
Renege
Nadz
Fluxy

---------------

Your first task is very simple. The Scottish FA recently appointed Steve Clarke as their new manager, taking over from the dreadful Alex McLeish to right the wrongs of the past two decades of Scottish football.

From each of the two teams I would like you to provide a blueprint for the future of the Scottish national team. From coaching to playing personnel, from tactics and playing style to resolving the stadium issue and improving the quality of available personnel, I want to see your ideas for making Scotland a force in world football once again. The glory days of Souness, Dalglish and Law are long gone - but the "Flower of Scotland" spirit endures. The last major tournament Scotland qualified for was France 98, and this needs to be remedied over the next few years.

I will score your ideas as follows:

Coaching, tactics and playing style /5
Playing personnel /5
Resolving the stadium issue /5
improving the quality of available personnel /5
Other ideas /10

Now, to split you into teams.

Team 1: Dolph, Trebs, Nadz, Fluxy
Team 2: Bam Bam, Fernando, Twist, Renege

You must decide who is your team captain, and decide on a team name. Don't make the mistake of previous Azzrentice losers and pick a wildly inappropriate name for your team - this is a serious fake online managerial competition, and I am looking for serious candidates to fix the broken system in today's global game.

Post your submissions on this page by 12:00 on Wednesday 5 June, and I will see you all in my Boardroom after lunch that same day.

by BamBam Thu 23 May 2019, 1:32 pm

Depending on when its running, I'm in (on holiday for a week mid June)

by Azzy Thu 23 May 2019, 2:29 pm

BamBam wrote:Depending on when its running, I'm in (on holiday for a week mid June)

We'll do a task per week, length all dependent on numbers of entrants Smile

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Thu 23 May 2019, 3:20 pm

Yeahhhhhh

by BamBam Thu 23 May 2019, 3:48 pm

Excellent, had to be back to defend my crown anyway king

by Fernando Thu 23 May 2019, 4:43 pm

im in

by Azzy Thu 23 May 2019, 4:44 pm

At the very least, we have a 1v1v1 final on our hands The Azzrentice 2019 3559488474

by Trebs Thu 23 May 2019, 11:07 pm

I would like to express an interest - please can you send me a copy of the application form.

by TwisT Thu 23 May 2019, 11:53 pm

by Renege Fri 24 May 2019, 7:59 am

Sign me up. Do we need to hit out with football cliches?

by Azzy Fri 24 May 2019, 10:58 am

The producers of The Azzrentice 2019 have announced that the new season of The Azzrentice will begin at 2pm on Tuesday 28th May 2019.

Candidates will be split into two teams and presented with a task to complete, through which they will be expected to demonstrate their extended knowledge of the beautiful game and their commercial nous.

The first task will be titled: "Flower of Scotland"

by **Afro** Fri 24 May 2019, 8:37 pm

Azzy wrote: "DeFlowering of Scotland"

Rof’s been doing that for years....

by GSC Sun 26 May 2019, 8:34 am

Can I be fake claude

by Trebs Tue 28 May 2019, 9:39 am

I just want to confirm that I will be away 10th June for a week so my time will be limited for that task.
If I can get a bye that week that would be spot on

by BamBam Tue 28 May 2019, 9:48 am

Assuming you get that far ....

I'm also away that week

by Fluxy Tue 28 May 2019, 12:23 pm

I could try and give this a go...

by Trebs Tue 28 May 2019, 12:56 pm

Nadz has expressed an interest too....

by Azzy Tue 28 May 2019, 1:59 pm

As I'm in a meeting at 2pm, shall we say tomorrow instead?

by Azzy Tue 28 May 2019, 4:21 pm

Sorry guys, I've been moved into an awful communal office and I had a nosy herbert poking her oar into my v2 postings. Will be back tomorrow with the Flower of Scotland task!!!

by BamBam Wed 29 May 2019, 1:44 pm

Should I be excited for 2pm then

by BamBam Wed 29 May 2019, 2:33 pm

Take that as a no Sad

by Fluxy Wed 29 May 2019, 3:19 pm

You are used to being let down, let's be honest...

Should we just start a splinter rugby/football league?

by Trebs Wed 29 May 2019, 3:27 pm

I'm still sat patiently in the boardroom...

by Azzy Wed 29 May 2019, 4:21 pm

Sorry guys, I was interviewing!

I shall begin momentarily...

by Trebs Wed 29 May 2019, 4:27 pm

I hope I get to be interviewed....

by Azzy Wed 29 May 2019, 4:33 pm

Your first task is very simple. The Scottish FA recently appointed Steve Clarke as their new manager, taking over from the dreadful Alex McLeish to right the wrongs of the past two decades of Scottish football.

From each of the two teams I would like you to provide a blueprint for the future of the Scottish national team. From coaching to playing personnel, from tactics and playing style to resolving the stadium issue and improving the quality of available personnel, I want to see your ideas for making Scotland a force in world football once again. The glory days of Souness, Dalglish and Law are long gone - but the "Flower of Scotland" spirit endures. The last major tournament Scotland qualified for was France 98, and this needs to be remedied over the next few years.

I will score your ideas as follows:

Coaching, tactics and playing style /5
Playing personnel /5
Resolving the stadium issue /5
improving the quality of available personnel /5
Other ideas /10

Now, to split you into teams.

Team 1: Dolph, Trebs, Nadz, Fluxy
Team 2: Bam Bam, Fernando, Twist, Renege

You must decide who is your team captain, and decide on a team name. Don't make the mistake of previous Azzrentice losers and pick a wildly inappropriate name for your team - this is a serious fake online managerial competition, and I am looking for serious candidates to fix the broken system in today's global game.

Post your submissions on this page by 12:00 on Wednesday 5 June, and I will see you all in my Boardroom after ~~KFC~~ lunch that same day.

You may ask questions.

by Marky Thu 30 May 2019, 12:54 pm

Azzy wrote:Don't make the mistake of previous Azzrentice losers and pick a wildly inappropriate name for your team

You may ask questions.

I have a question. Will you still blame and fire someone even if their captain was the one who submitted an inappropriate team name?

Also, I am a previous Azzrentice WINNER (and loser, can't win em all)

by BamBam Fri 31 May 2019, 9:45 am

Team 2 questions

1. Do we have guidance of the financial resources available to the SFA
2. "Improving the quality of available personnel" - to be clear, this is playing personnel?

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Fri 31 May 2019, 3:53 pm

Can we pick Niemi?

by Azzy Mon 03 Jun 2019, 10:41 am

Marky wrote:
Azzy wrote:Don't make the mistake of previous Azzrentice losers and pick a wildly inappropriate name for your team

You may ask questions.

I have a question. Will you still blame and fire someone even if their captain was the one who submitted an inappropriate team name?

Also, I am a previous Azzrentice WINNER (and loser, can't win em all)

We're all losers here my friend Laugh

by Azzy Mon 03 Jun 2019, 10:45 am

BamBam wrote:Team 2 questions

1. Do we have guidance of the financial resources available to the SFA
2. "Improving the quality of available personnel" - to be clear, this is playing personnel?

1. I can provide nothing other than what is freely available online via a quick Google search.
2. Playing personnel, yes. You're looking to develop the future of Scottish football as well as fix the current generation.

by Azzy Mon 03 Jun 2019, 10:48 am

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:Can we pick Niemi?

If you mean Antti Niemi, he's both 47 years old and capped 67 times by Finland. You can suggest it, by all means, but previous Azzrentice contestants may like to inform you of the potential consequences*.

*I'd likely gloss over it and fire someone totally undeserving instead because I play favourites.

by Azzy Mon 03 Jun 2019, 10:50 am

By the by, I love the enthusiasm you're all putting into the task The Azzrentice 2019 3559488474

by **Dolphin Ziggler** Mon 03 Jun 2019, 12:10 pm

It's an old phone-in joke, some Scot called up Talk Sport and was livid that Strachan (I think) wasn't picking Niemi

by Fernando Mon 03 Jun 2019, 12:16 pm

NGL Antti Niemi was my favourite PL goalkeeper when he played for Southampton bought him every season on Fifa however Poopie he was Laugh

by Marky Mon 03 Jun 2019, 12:41 pm

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:It's an old phone-in joke, some Scot called up Talk Sport and was livid that Strachan (I think) wasn't picking Niemi

"He's Finnish"

"He's no finished, he's only 28"

by Azzy Wed 05 Jun 2019, 11:04 am

Good morning everyone. I have arrived early to my Boardroom and will be chatting to Claude while Lady Brady gives me a Rick Nash. I look forward to seeing your submissions.

by BamBam Wed 05 Jun 2019, 11:15 am

Morning Lord Azzy

Happy to post the submission now if that's ok?

by Trebs Wed 05 Jun 2019, 11:22 am

Good Morning Lord Azzy,

I would like to present our first task, The Flower of Scotland, on behalf of Team Unicorn.

This has been worked on by myself, Fluxy, Dolph and Nadz.

Thanks for reading and we welcome any questions.

Trebs

COACHING, TACTICS AND PLAYING STYLE:

PLAYING PERSONNEL:

RESOLVING THE STADIUM ISSUE:

IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF AVAILABLE PERSONNEL:

Other Ideas:

by BamBam Wed 05 Jun 2019, 11:23 am

Team Sterling - Flower of Scotland:

Team Sterling

We’ve chosen the name Sterling for a few reasons:

- Instantly recognisable for a football connection, with his performance levels and strong off the field image, our namesake Sterling has carved out a place for himself as one of the most spoken about footballers in the world

- £ currency. You can’t perform strongly in the Azzrentice without having a strong financial brain, and our team name will help us keep that in mind

- We want to make a Sterling effort to succeed

- It has a semi Scottish ring to it in line with this first task

Team Sterling present their vision of the overhaul required to return the Scottish national team to being a regular competitor at major tournament finals.

We believe our submission covers all areas and offers strong and realistic options.

1. Coaching, tactics and playing style
We’d recommend keeping Steve Clarke in position. He is new to the role, having coached at the highest level and crucially, he has shown an ability to get the best out of a smaller side surpassing expectations in his most recent role while working with Scottish players. We will not rock the boat, it would be costly and unrealistic to do so this soon into his appointment.

Taking a lead out England’s book, we want to improve the culture around the squad. The key to coaching at international level is ensuring the players have the tactical knowledge to implement the coaches game plan and ensuring they are in peak physical condition. International coaches do not have the time with players to hone their technical skills.

We will seek to implement a professional diet in all players from the youth sides to the senior sides. We will monitor and test players fitness levels at every international break. Professional attitudes need to be instilled in players from a young age.

Tactical set up

- At Kilmarnock, Clarke had great success playing a 4-4-2/4-4-1-1 hybrid which effortlessly switched between attack and defence. He coached to defend the width of the 18 yard box with 2 banks of 4 and the CF sitting on the playmaker of other teams.

- Defensively, they pressed when 25 yards out in the centre and were quite content to let the opposition have the ball out wide unless playing against a tall forward.

- The side then looked to break at pace with a long ball into the channels for the forwards with the winger on that side cutting in to fill the forward role.

- When wanting to play more attacking football, he moves into a 4-5-1 where the 2nd striker plays behind the main ST and looks to control the play with short passing and utilizing the wingers by having the full backs undercutting on the inside.

- We think this is a good fit with Scotland’s pacey wingers, and forwards strong at running the channels to put the pressure on against teams who are stronger on paper

2. Playing personnel

With the above tactical set up in mind, we think we have picked a strong squad. The key players being Robertson, McGinn, McTominay, Forrest and Fraser. Beyond these key players we would primarily seek to call up a core of players up to the age of 28, building a squad for the present and the future.

The final say on who makes the squad within these parameters will always rest with the manager, it is important that the football association do not interfere to the extent that would upset the coaching staff or players.

We fully support the current coach’s stance, and will not seek to recall players who have ‘retired’ unless they come forward to make themselves available. Building a squad and team with players who want to play and fight for Scotland is required to build a team atmosphere that players will look forward to. After discussions with the manager, we expect the below starting squad:

Squad:

3. Resolving the stadium issue

There have long been calls to redesign Hampden Park as the home of Scottish football and make it fit for purpose. Fans have long complained over the facilities and the running track making the pitch far back from the stands.

This has had complications, mainly financial. The SFA has not made more than £40m revenue in any of the last fiver years, and is unlikely to generate sufficient cash in the immediate term for a big infrastructure project, and we don’t want to hamper Scottish football at such a crucial time by bringing in external financing and incurring the subsequent debt and interest payments

Ian Maxwell, CEO of SFA, had used Stuttgart's redevelopment of their stadium (becoming the Mercedes-Benz Arena) as part of a research proposal. The stadium cost £56.5m, and similar costs would be prohibitive

Due to investment being needed in other places, it would be wrong to commit huge amounts of money in stadium redevelopment.

The proposal is, for the short term future, to use the facilities already available at Celtic Park, Ibrox and Pittodrie. These stadiums are already being redeveloped by their clubs. Rangers have spent £8m to replace parts of their Broomloan Stand and Copland Stand. Also Aberdeen have partial funding in place for a new stadium at Kingsford. The SFA could explore the possibility of subsidising part of this, to the tune of £5m to £10m, with the agreement that international games would be played there in a cycle with Rangers and Celtic.

There would be arguments about Scottish Football needing a "permanent home". However, England have successfully moved international games to other locations to entice more fans that could not travel to London. You would then have Scottish international football in the 3 major cities of Scotland.

The long term aim would be to redevelop Hampden Park to the required standard, when debt financing may be more of an option.

4. Improving the quality of available personnel

We view this in two parts – increasing the size of the selection pool available, and improving the quality of that pool

Scottish Rugby has had a lot of success identifying 3 players who are firmly part of their current starting line up that weren’t playing in or grew up in Scotland, and given the potential numbers playing football, we’re going to follow a similar approach

We propose creating a “Scottish Qualified Development Pathway” for players who have Scottish parents / grandparents, and may be willing to commit their international future to Scotland. As part of this, the following hires will be made:
Director of Programme
Talent Scout – London
Talent Scout – South East/West England
Talent Scout – North East/West England
Talent Scout – Midlands and Wales

The primary objective of the scouts is to identify potential players from the ages of 16-21 who are in the senior academies of Premiership and Championship clubs who are eligible for Scotland. We would likely not target those who are already in the age grade England teams, as we think it is unrealistic to expect those players to be willing to switch allegiance

However the players in those age groups who are performing well but not being recognised for national selection will be offered the opportunity of playing for the Scotland u16s / u18s depending on eligibility

Those that turn down the offer will not be forgotten about, and the development team will keep in regular touch to make sure that they know Scotland is an option.

We’ll look to double down on this strategy by opening talks with the leading Scottish clubs, to explore the possibility of some of these players being brought into the Scottish club setup either into the academies or directly into the first team squads if they are approaching the end of their contracts

In terms of improving players that are already eligible, wherever possible, players that qualify to play for the under 21s and are not in the managers plans to play for the first team will remain in the under 21 setup when there are competitive fixtures. We will seek to integrate the best prospects to the senior squad by calling them up to train with the full squad, as extras over and above the final 23.

We will seek to implement the same tactics and playing style throughout the youth sides. This should make it easier for players to step up from the youth sides. This may involve bringing in a new coach for the u21s over the longer term but we don’t want to have two brand new coaches at this stage.

We will monitor Shaun Maloney’s progress for this role, he has performed a youth development role at Celtic and is now working with Belgium’s national team backroom staff, we think he could be a good option.

We will also look to form a football centre of excellence for Scotland, bringing together the best players from the ages of 13-15 in Scotland together to a training centre similar to the Clairefontaine centre in France. There are a number of current facilities which could be used, including Hampden, Rutherglen or Stirling University sports centre.

5. Other ideas

We recognise that Scottish football is set up with a strong league which is owned and controlled separately from the national set up. We’ll look to open dialogue with the leading clubs, and suggest ideas that can be mutually beneficial. If possible and required, we’d be able to provide some of the necessary financial resources

Colt sides
One such idea is the Introduction of Celtic and Rangers colt sides. Following the example of countries like Spain and Germany we will seek to introduce colt sides to add a further step in the development for old firm youth players.

It is the young players at these sides that often struggle to step up due to the level of expectations and pressure that is on the players at these sides who are expected to win and win well in front of 50,000 fans every home game.

This would ease the introduction of youth players into senior football. The other large teams in Scotland have a great track record of giving youth a chance, but we think the Old Firm are likely to have the most talented youth and want to give them every opportunity

A key reason we are looking at this is the examples of John Fleck and Andrew Robertson, who have both had great success, however had to overcome several hurdles and could easily have fell by the wayside. Robertson was released at 16 by Celtic and moved to the fourth tier of Scottish football, other similar talents may not come back from there, a colt side would give an extra step in the development which should reduce the numbers which are released at this age. While John Fleck was dubbed the Scottish Wayne Rooney, the height of this expectation appears to have slowed his development. The colt side would have eased his introduction to senior football.

TV rights
We recognise that we are unable to influence the SPL TV rights, however would hope to steer them towards having a single broadcaster as it is the best for the fans. For the SFA TV rights, we’d look to keep as much on terrestrial TV as possible, but recognise that the subscription broadcaster revenue could be key. Split rights are an option we will explore for the next deal

We will look to explore the feasibility of introduction of a Netflix style Scottish football viewing platform. The development of such a platform would have an initial cost, but the potential for higher earnings achieved from such a platform means that the costs should be investigated.

Women’s Football
We recognise that women’s football is growing significantly in profile and quality. We’d like to take advantage of the possibilities that brings, and will look to promote the women’s game alongside the men where possible – all additional revenue will be invested for the good of Scottish football as a whole.

This summer is a particular opportunity for that with the Women’s World Cup.

Summary
We think we have set out a realistic vision to really drive the Scotland national team, and Scottish football as a whole on to greater success.

We recognise the limitations we have in terms of financial resources, and have looked to work around them as much as possible while still making changes we think will prove effective in areas such as youth development and the stadium issue.

We’ve actively decided not to spend too many resources on targeting proven players who have had no prior affiliation to Scotland – this is something prior administrations have wasted too much time on, and with the national side currently struggling we do not think it’s the most attractive proposition for these players to switch their allegiances.

We thank Lord Azzy for the opportunity and welcome questions on our proposal

by Azzy Wed 05 Jun 2019, 12:01 pm

Thank you to both team captains for two very detailed and interesting proposals. I shall take the next 58 minutes to review and will give you my feedback from 1pm.

During that feedback process, at least one person from the losing team will be fired.

by Azzy Wed 05 Jun 2019, 12:40 pm

Let's see if we can get this started now.

Trebs, as team captain of Team Unicorn, how do you feel the task went? Were you happy with the contributions of your team? How did you apportion responsibility?

BamBam, the same question goes to you as team captain of Team Sterling.

by Trebs Wed 05 Jun 2019, 12:53 pm

The task went okay. I got some good contributions from the team, but I did the vast majority of the work. There were a couple of extenuating circumstances with me losing my phone and Dolph getting ill. I stepped up as manager for this task, despite a shaky knowledge of Scottish football, because I wasn't sure if the job would get done with someone else at the helm.

In terms of responsibility:

The first section was done by Nadz, and the stadium section written by Fluxy. I made a few minor alterations but that is almost all their work.

The other three sections ended up being done by me, with some suggestions made by the team.

Team Unicorn name was chosen by Dolph. I asked a couple of times if anyone had any objections, and got nothing back.

by Trebs Wed 05 Jun 2019, 12:54 pm

Just additionally want to say best of luck to all of those on Team Sterling with their submission

by BamBam Wed 05 Jun 2019, 1:00 pm

I thought the task went well overall. I tried to set clear deadlines for when I expected each task to get to a certain level of progress, and they were generally kept to.

I was nominated to be team captain, although I did think my knowledge of Scottish football probably wasn't close to being the best in the team. I did think I could do a strong job of project managing overall, and decided to focus my efforts on that. I also put together the final submission, and moderated some of the other areas

I decided to allocate tasks with the individual skill sets of the team in mind, Renege obviously had a strong knowledge of that area, while Nando usually has decent knowledge across most football leagues and a good tactical brain, so it made sense for me to have the two of them work most closely on the playing personnel, coaching and tactical set up, as they essentially went hand in hand.

That left the stadium issue and longer term player development, I offered Twist the stadium to start with but was happy to swap. I asked all team members to come up with ideas for part 5

I was happy with everyone's contributions to their individual areas, however if I had a criticism it would be that there was limited constructive comments on other areas. Its always good to have more opinions from different angles, and that side was slightly lacking

Good luck to Team Unicorn too!

by Fluxy Wed 05 Jun 2019, 1:05 pm

Afternoon Lord Azzy, and captains.

by BamBam Wed 05 Jun 2019, 2:35 pm

Think we've blown him away with the quality of our submissions, good job guys

by Trebs Wed 05 Jun 2019, 2:41 pm

Lord Azzy has announced that he will be hiring eight new apprentices.

Lord Azzy's search for his next apprentice is over.

by Fernando Wed 05 Jun 2019, 3:28 pm

This is a bigger disappointment then Trebs team putting Ryan Fraser as RM and Forrest as LM despite playing the opposite roles for their club sides. Whistle

by Trebs Wed 05 Jun 2019, 3:31 pm

Fernando wrote:This is a bigger disappointment then Trebs team putting Ryan Fraser as RM and Forrest as LM despite playing the opposite roles for their club sides.

Says the guy whose team didn't think Leigh Griffiths was worthwhile picking in a Scotland squad boxing

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