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[Galted]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

Good chance he looks like mine so I might not notice.

[JuliusHMarx]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

True, although as thread split posts go, that's hardly a 'Civic'.

[lostinwales]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

Good chance he looks like mine so I might not notice.

Problem is if he looks like your kids but none of them look like you.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

Good chance he looks like mine so I might not notice.

Problem is if he looks like your kids but none of them look like you.

l*l.

Took me a moment to work out just how insulting you were being!

Well played, Sir.

[Galted]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Maybe I could smuggle my kid into his house, doubt he'd notice with the multitudes he has rampaging about.

Good chance he looks like mine so I might not notice.

I actually conducted a brief risk assessment and decided that there was no way that my post* could be used to ridicule me.

* non-euphemistically

[rIck_dAgless]

We had a spider in our flat on Monday.

I saw two little ones on the ceiling last night... in different rooms.
Common house spiders. We've had a lot of rain lately so they're obviously looking for a warm dry refuge.

Have to feel a bit sorry for our spider living in the UK if warmth and dryness is what they like.

Make a little cotton wool nest for it and take it up to Tino's. Pretty sure he'll have some space in the shed for it.

In amongst the thimble collection.

Decent enough split, fist

[Galted]

Not often we're treated to a Dagless fist these days.

Sicond.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Not often we're treated to a Dagless fist these days.

Sicond.

I reckon I might have been on the receiving end of a dAGlEss fist back in the 90's.

Rare that an evening in The View didn't end with a punch up so we could well have been fisting each other some time ago.

[lostinwales]

Its the fort that counts.

[Galted]

Not often we're treated to a Dagless fist these days.

Sicond.

I reckon I might have been on the receiving end of a dAGlEss fist back in the 90's.

Rare that an evening in The View didn't end with a punch up so we could well have been fisting each other some time ago.

A 'punch up' sounds like the rough Northern version of a fisting.

[Galted]

Its the fort that counts.

Very good one-liner.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Not often we're treated to a Dagless fist these days.

Sicond.

I reckon I might have been on the receiving end of a dAGlEss fist back in the 90's.

Rare that an evening in The View didn't end with a punch up so we could well have been fisting each other some time ago.

A 'punch up' sounds like the rough Northern version of a fisting.

As opposed to a 'gentle' fisting?

[JuliusHMarx]

I'm neither Young nor Dolph.

[Galted]

Not often we're treated to a Dagless fist these days.

Sicond.

I reckon I might have been on the receiving end of a dAGlEss fist back in the 90's.

Rare that an evening in The View didn't end with a punch up so we could well have been fisting each other some time ago.

A 'punch up' sounds like the rough Northern version of a fisting.

As opposed to a 'gentle' fisting?

Could be more considerate than a punch-up without having to be gentle, but I'm afraid that my knowledge of fisting is lacking.

[lostinwales]

Friday's unmichaelising fist

Like Monday's just with a lot less force behind it

[Galted]

I'd typed out 'Friday fist' but now I've changed it to 'Friday sicond'. I'm too cheerful by nature to let such things upset me.

[lostinwales]

I'd typed out 'Friday fist' but now I've changed it to 'Friday sicond'.  I'm too cheerful by nature to let such things upset me.

Never mind. There will always be other Fridays to fist.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

We need Pee Jay on here to give us his opinion on Timmy Paine and Cricket Australia. They just can't help themselves can they.

Unless Pee Jay is the woman that Timmy sent his d*ck pic to?

[Galted]

L*l out loud. Sportsmen provide more entertainment negotiating social media than participating in sport itself.

[Galted]

Have to respect Maradona, Botham and Best for their achievements before F*cebook and Tw*tter had been invented.

[Pal Joey]

We need Pee Jay on here to give us his opinion on Timmy Paine and Cricket Australia. They just can't help themselves can they.

Unless Pee Jay is the woman that Timmy sent his d*ck pic to?

Here I am.

OK. My thoughts on the situation.

I probably fell into the trap when he busted his fingers a while back and felt a little sorry for him but I never rated him highly as a keeper or batsman. He then was very fortunate to fall into the captaincy role after Sandpapergate. For me, Smith was a far better captain but was also a sniffling, whimpering idiot when he had that press conference. I honestly think there's something's wrong with the guy (Smith) but he does have some interesting skills. Paine started to annoy me in the 2019 Ashes... when he made a few crucial blunders (at the worst possible time) and then also performed pretty poorly to cement a drawn series that should have been won.

Then there was the silly babysitting remark (cringe) followed by the even more stupid "see you at the 'Gabba" remark to Pant or whoever during India's most recent visit in 2020/21. That's when I knew they wouldn't win that final match and would go on to lose the series. Worst possible thing you could say to that Indian side; who was on the up and up and had justifiably more belief in themselves and their capabilities. Everyone saw that... except Tim Paine of course.

And now this thing. Personally I want him out of the side completely. Don't want to see his face or hear that annoying little voice - if he stills plays they better turn that stump mike off! I'd rather have Wade behind the stumps (Carey would be good... and Inglis maybe down the track when Wade goes) and bring in another batsman. I'd look at either of the Marsh bros (Mitch in good form and Shaun has shown some too in the SS) or even Stoinis in the middle order but that's probably stretching it - he has more of a white ball mentality at the crease and has been tried before and under-performed.

CA need to face the music, tell Paine he's blown his chances and get him removed from the team. It shouldn't be up to Paine himself. Can't have him lingering around now (he'd be even more mentally shot). So in my view not only should he lose the captaincy (tick) but also his place in the team.

I mean what would The Don think of that behaviour from an Australian captain and the d1ck texts? Feel very sorry for his poor wife and kids. So now we know that what we all saw of his captaincy was a shoddy pretence. The truth is he is as thick as a plank and has the mental EQ of a teenage jerk. In some ways although the timing might be seen as poor; it might turn out to be good timing if they can completely get rid of him right now.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

So now we know that what we all saw of his captaincy was a shoddy pretence. The truth is he is as thick as a plank and has the mental EQ of a teenage jerk. In some ways although the timing might be seen as poor; it might turn out to be good timing if they can completely get rid of him right now.

You need to stop sitting on the fence with these things, Pee Jay.

But yes, it is FUBAR for CA. Pushed forward as the poster boy for the 'new' Aussie culture yet sitting on this time bomb the whole time. People are human and make mistakes but if you're going to be the voice of your teams new culture, you better make sure you've got no skeletons in your closet.

From an English point of view, I hope he stays in the team as he is a pretty poor player. Cummins to be skipper? He actually comes across as an upstanding man and to be fair, all the big aggressive Aussie fast bowlers came over really well in The Test. Although nothing will ever convince me they weren't all compliant in Sandpapergate. They knew. But Cummins would be a vast improvement as a human being than Smith.

People used to get jazzed up about Steve Waugh and his 'mental disintegration' policy but him, Warne, Hayden and the rest of that team just played hard and fair. A vast improvement on a few of the toads that are in your team at the moment.

[lostinwales]

Its not like we don't have our share of problems in England cricket right now, but at least they are mostly restricted to county level and former players.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Its not like we don't have our share of problems in England cricket right now, but at least they are mostly restricted to county level and former players.

Yeah. We are just a bunch of racists but at least we don't use sandpaper.

[Pal Joey]

So now we know that what we all saw of his captaincy was a shoddy pretence. The truth is he is as thick as a plank and has the mental EQ of a teenage jerk. In some ways although the timing might be seen as poor; it might turn out to be good timing if they can completely get rid of him right now.

You need to stop sitting on the fence with these things, Pee Jay.

But yes, it is FUBAR for CA. Pushed forward as the poster boy for the 'new' Aussie culture yet sitting on this time bomb the whole time. People are human and make mistakes but if you're going to be the voice of your team's new culture, you better make sure you've got no skeletons in your closet.

From an English point of view, I hope he stays in the team as he is a pretty poor player. Cummins to be skipper? He actually comes across as an upstanding man and to be fair, all the big aggressive Aussie fast bowlers came over really well in The Test. Although nothing will ever convince me they weren't all compliant in Sandpapergate. They knew. But Cummins would be a vast improvement as a human being than Smith.

People used to get jazzed up about Steve Waugh and his 'mental disintegration' policy but him, Warne, Hayden and the rest of that team just played hard and fair. A vast improvement on a few of the toads that are in your team at the moment.

Better correct that bit before Julius sees it.

Yes, I'm pretty sure Cummins wouldn't have any such skeletons in the closet. He seems to be the favoured one now. He would be the first bowling captain since Benaud in 1964. I also think Labuschagne has captain written all over him but probably not just now. He needs to concentrate on his batting and perhaps develop a more serious disposition. He seems too casual and comes across as a bit of a joker at present.

I can tell you (via a friend's experience playing against the Waugh brothers in the 80s) that Steve is/was no angel. That mental disintegration practice was pretty nasty and don't forget they didn't like losing either. I'll let you add that up. Probably words said out on the field to the opposition were not published a few hours later on tw*tter or whatever. Also have a story about Hayden. Met a nurse who went to school with the guy. Let's just say he wasn't such a popular or nice guy and was always out for himself too... carrying a cricket ball in between classrooms (or constantly bouncing a tennis ball along the walls and floors) and making bold predictions about his future... many of which turned out to be true and his self-confidence paid off.

General rule of thumb for Australian cricket, Tino. It's sort of the opposite to the traditional cricket snobbery situation in England.

Private school boys dominated the Australian teams in the early days but there was a move away from this... probably from the 60s, 70s onwards. It reached a peak in the dizzying jingoistic 80s and we've never really looked back. Now the 'rich kids' are very much frowned upon; e.g. Cowan copped a lot of flack... wasn't tough enough. And he was also a private school toss-er obviously.

Blue collar types (our public/state schools) are more revered these days. The masses prefer these cricketing types to be their heroes. Obviously some are less educated and a little (or very rough!) around the edges but they are seen as embodying the 'fighting spirit' regardless. Add to that the city v country thing. Good country boys are usually hard honest workers and well behaved. They generally have better manners too. Think Hazlewood. He's not only a nice polite and well-behaved bloke; he's also a hard and honest worker.

Cummins is from near me here. Formerly a working class area but lots has changed recently. It's now a (relatively) more sophisticated place full of people who vote Liberal/Conservative. So Pat has turned out well. Contrast that to Warner... from the sand dunes and oil refinery area near the airport. He grew up in an area with some serious indigenous youth problems. Always fighting. Not much education. Probably a schoolyard bully.

Then there's someone like Michael Clarke. From the outer 'burbs... not particularly well educated and not much going for him (you'd imagine) but he had the aspiration to succeed and realise his dream of captaining Australia. After his success, he then moves to the beachside suburb (Bondi, Coogee or whatever) but is never really seen by the locals as a true local. He's a fly-in from the west (that can never change) who, if it wasn't for his deeds on the cricket pitch would probably be looked down upon and told to "move on".

Paine is from Hobart... they also had convicts. Some see Tasmania as the West Virginia of Australia but even more remote and sometimes left off the map. So to be a little harsh; it's not too surprising that things have turned out this way. We were hoping for better but he obviously failed the test.

So now do you feel the cricketing hierarchy vibe here, man?

That's basically it in a nutshell for you. My take on it anyway. If it wasn't so petty parochial it would be very amusing really.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

Love it, Pee Jay.

Your posts like this are always entertaining and informative in equal measures.

[Galted]

Infinitely better than any of the Cricinfo writers.

[Pal Joey]

Love it, Pee Jay.

Your posts like this are always entertaining and informative in equal measures.

Thanks Tino and Galts.

I haven't mentioned the interstate rivalry aspect though. This adds another few layers upon all the above.

Players from Queensland and WA are admired for their toughness and resilience. They are also perceived (from a NSW or Vic point of view) as having a point to prove or a chip on their shoulders with regards to Australian cricket team selection. This has been amplified especially over the last 40 years (since State of Origin v NSW) and over the last 30 years (since WA teams were admitted to the AFL) and also for SA (huge AFL rivalry with Vic teams)... which also spills over into the cricketing landscape to some degree. Personally, I think it's a good thing. Keeps everyone on edge and out to get the better of their foes.

I might add that with the border situation restrictions due to Covid, these rivalries have intensified even more. It's quite a shocking revelation to me. It's as though the 'old' states (Vic and NSW) are being punished by preventing their citizens from holidaying in Qld and WA. We don't need a Berlin Wall either. It's simply done by GPS and Border Police. An Invisible Wall. Scary stuff when you think about it. Even the US didn't prevent people from travelling through their states when their infection numbers were going through the roof.

Here we have 1 person test positive - then the gates are slammed shut. Nowhere else in the world does this happen. I can only see it as some form of power manifestation by certain state premiers and a cynical slap in the face to us "Southerners". Flip this for the UK. Imagine if Sadiq Khan (or some unelected medical expert) wouldn't allow Jules, Super or rICk to travel south of a line say Cheltenham-Milton Keynes-Cambridge-Lowestoft for their summer holidays?  

Some southerners might have felt safer that way at the height of the pandemic but it wouldn't be fair if you had family on the other side, would it? Just for 1 infection? There's definitely a sense of payback here and I don't think we will forget what's happened. It's in our collective consciousness now; we can't undo it.

Anyway, back to the cricket. We still don't know if the Perth Test will happen. Pretty sure I heard McGowan (WA Premier) say they wouldn't open until they've reached 90% fully vaxxed. Which is late January or early February. The 5th Test starts on the 14th January? They are travelling at a snail's pace...

[Mind the windows Tino.]

They are travelling at a snail's pace...

Which is the top speed of our seam bowlers.

[lostinwales]

The daughter of a friend of mine emigrated out to OZ. She's coming back over at Christmas to visit him with the grandkids, which apparently she can do as a soap dodger. Her shackle dragging partner unfortunately cannot come with her for CV19 reasons.

[Pal Joey]

They are travelling at a snail's pace...

Which is the top speed of our seam bowlers.

Don't worry about that. As I mentioned in the Ashes thread. All bowlers will need to use a bit of old-fashioned guile... should be plenty of movement with the expected moisture. No need to bust their guts like Australia tried to do against India. It's totally different situation this year. Complete opposite from the summer of hell during the bushfires. Had to dig out my tracksuit pants and top earlier. Unseasonably chilly for this time of year.

I remember we had boiling hots days in October 2019... 43 degrees. Like a bast furnace. So far this spring we've had one day of about 33 deg. and the rest have been 20-24... maybe a 28-29 here and there. Thick clouds mostly and when there is some sun it's soon replaced by more clouds and rain.

South-east Qld has higher rainfall and the climate is even more volatile than here. There is this oppressive humidity which I notice whenever I go up there. It gets even worse further north of course.

So much rain recently. Dams are overflowing in areas west of the Great Divide which is very unusual. Remember those photos I posted up late last year... your dolls in the shop windows? l*l. The huge Burrendong Dam was 42% full last December when those photos were taken. It was only 3% in July 2020. Now it's gone over 100%... now 128.6% and apparently it can go up to 138% (??) which means it's spilling over the main wall and flooding and swallowing up large areas of surrounding farmland on the inside of the wall.

Have a feeling if it's 1-1, then England will be in the box seat and things could be similar to 2010/11. If England win in Brisbane, then Australia could be looking down the barrel in Adelaide. Could go the other way too I suppose but I'm not as confident as you might think. The T20 thing was a boost to the confidence I'd imagine but now the Paine controversy has potential to deflate the players if they can't manage it properly.

That's why I say they should cut him out right now... we don't want any festering bad vibes in the group. I know you'll want the opposite. I bet they're too gutless and will keep him in the side but that for me is a big mistake.

Guess that is what makes it such a enthralling contest. Feel confident about Adelaide (2nd) and Perth (5th) but questions marks about how they start in Brisbane. Melbourne could once again prove decisive. Sydney the same. It could well be 2-2 going into the 5th.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

They are travelling at a snail's pace...

Which is the top speed of our seam bowlers.

Don't worry about that. As I mentioned in the Ashes thread. All bowlers will need to use a bit of old-fashioned guile... should be plenty of movement with the expected moisture. No need to bust their guts like Australia tried to do against India. It's totally different situation this year. Complete opposite from the summer of hell during the bushfires. Had to dig out my tracksuit pants and top earlier. Unseasonably chilly for this time of year.

I have replied on the Ashes thread but I still don't agree. There seems to be some collective thought from some England fans that more spicy pitches brings England into it more. Maybe it does but it also brings the Aussie attack into it more as well. The differential doesn't move.

Australia are a better red ball cricket team than England. Simple as that. How many England players would get into the Aussie team in home conditions when you look at it dispassionately? 2? Stokes and Root. I don't even think Anderson would given his record in Australia. Maybe Buttler over Paine but I'm basing that on Paine being slightly more flaky than the very flaky Buttler.

I just don't see any comparisons between 2010/11. This is an infinitely worse England team against against infinitely better Australia team.

[alfie]

Seems to be more cricket discussion on here than the cricket board ...

What is going on ? Run out of spiders ?

I haven't had any violent encounter with arachnids lately but did get a reminder that spring has been with us for some time despite the weather suggesting otherwise : running across a small sparsely wooded patch near home (not on my usual beat) I was given a light brush on the shoulder by one of the local magpies ...Very gentle and polite by their normal standards - no beak , no blood drawn : though perhaps for this I should thank my wife , who insists I always wear a cap when venturing out (for fear of frightening the natives with my unkempt locks , I think).
I got the message , magpie.

[alfie]

Will engage with Tino on the cricket board re Ashes prospects , I think. Can't have too much overlap...

[Galted]

Will engage with Tino on the cricket board re Ashes prospects , I think. Can't have too much overlap...

Tino permits cricket talk on here as crickets are arthropods.

Fist.

[lostinwales]

Tardy Sicond

Ate crickets in a restaurant in Mexico city once, and am old enough to forget that I probably used that story before

[Galted]

Tardy Sicond

Ate crickets in a restaurant in Mexico city once, and am old enough to forget that I probably used that story before

We're all old enough to forget if you have used it before. If you have I've probably responded with the bug bagel I had in Utrecht.

[JuliusHMarx]

Chilled monkey brains.
Tird.

[Pal Joey]

Rooster testicle soup. Slurp. (it was probably minced pork balls but I'm sure I saw some veins)
Fork

[JuliusHMarx]

You're so vein, you probably think this post is about you.

[Pal Joey]

You're so vein, you probably think this post is about you.

This happened several years ago, when I was still quite a meat eater.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

I've eaten all sorts of things in Asia. Insects included. I felt more guilty eating a spider on a stick than a lamb. Although I don't eat meat anymore so I'm both incredibly boring and a better human being than all of you.

The worst thing I've ever eaten though is some sea clam called geoduck. Ate it in HK. Not only does it look like a massive c*ck (google it, you've got to see it to believe it), it tastes horrific. Texture is appalling. Was sitting with some HK gold trader/importer and I had strong suspicions he was also a gangster so didn't want to upset him too much. I had to drown these raw slices of geoduck in soy sauce to get it down. Awful stuff.

[JuliusHMarx]

The sad tale of a man who went from being an exotic trader in foreign gilts and bonds to a domestic vegan dressmaker's secretary.

[Galted]

I've eaten all sorts of things in Asia. Insects included. I felt more guilty eating a spider on a stick than a lamb. Although I don't eat meat anymore so I'm both incredibly boring and a better human being than all of you.

The worst thing I've ever eaten though is some sea clam called geoduck. Ate it in HK. Not only does it look like a massive c*ck (google it, you've got to see it to believe it), it tastes horrific. Texture is appalling. Was sitting with some HK gold trader/importer and I had strong suspicions he was also a gangster so didn't want to upset him too much. I had to drown these raw slices of geoduck in soy sauce to get it down. Awful stuff.

That does look a bit ghastly.  I wonder how on earth anyone discovered that it was edible.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

The sad tale of a man who went from being an exotic trader in foreign gilts and bonds to a domestic vegan dressmaker's secretary.

Vegetarian not vegan, but other than that you're spot on, Jules.

[JuliusHMarx]

The sad tale of a man who went from being an exotic trader in foreign gilts and bonds to a domestic vegan dressmaker's secretary.

Vegetarian not vegan

Give it time.

[Mind the windows Tino.]

The sad tale of a man who went from being an exotic trader in foreign gilts and bonds to a domestic vegan dressmaker's secretary.

Vegetarian not vegan

Give it time.

Cheese and milk, Jules. They are the problem. I can't find any vegan cheese or non cows milk that is edible. Plus I have chickens in the garden that lay lovely eggs.

[Pal Joey]

Where the hell is everyone?

Come on, get your acts together and quit all this mopin' already.

And Jules. It's page 21. I think we need more toilet paper... or a change of rolls at least.

[JuliusHMarx]

Sicond.

Winter is coming. Moping is the norm for the next 4 months.

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