Complete the sentence

First topic message reminder :

This is a game where you complete the sentence of the previous post and start off a new sentence for the next poster to complete.

Its not to make a story, just a load of random sentences.

To start you off:

The fridge door wouldnt open so I............

And with that i left him to get better . As i returned to my hotel i ................. really felt like having a quick nightcap before bed.

The bar was almost empty but I did see a ...........................................

The bar was almost empty but I did see a ........cute woman in the corner .

I ordered two drinks and started to walk over towards her , when ...........................

I ordered two drinks and started to walk over towards her , when .......... I tripped over a photographer who was taking a shot from the carpet.

"What the hell...?" I said to the guy. "Sorry mate" he said "...we're just finishing up now... Ceylon is her name and she likes................................

"What the hell...?" I said to the guy. "Sorry mate" he said "...we're just finishing up now... Ceylon is her name and she likes..............vodka and lime

I quickly downed the g&t i had bought her and went back to bar to order another drink . As i turned back around i saw she ...........................................

I quickly downed the g&t i had bought her and went back to bar to order another drink . As i turned back around i saw she ....................................... was leaving, so I cut my losses just this one time.

I then went back over to the bar and was told that it was about to close - so I decided to have one more. "... and a g&t too please!" I turned around and there was Ceylon, who had just gone to the .....................

I then went back over to the bar and was told that it was about to close - so I decided to have one more. "... and a g&t too please!" I turned around and there was Ceylon, who had just gone to the ........loo

I could tell this by the toilet paper stuck to her shoe , being a gent i didn't mention this to her . " I thought you were a vodka and lime lady ?" i said " No i just say that to blokes i dont fancy but you are my type of man " she replied . " Well then why dont we ...................................

I could tell this by the toilet paper stuck to her shoe , being a gent i didn't mention this to her . " I thought you were a vodka and lime lady ?" i said " No i just say that to blokes i dont fancy but you are my type of man " she replied . " Well then why dont we ................................... go for a midnight dip. That's if you're game, big fella?"

You should have seen the splash I made. Luckily, the pool area was empty. The deck chairs got a right drenching though. Ceylon slid into the shallow end so I thought I might..............................

You should have seen the splash I made. Luckily, the pool area was empty. The deck chairs got a right drenching though. Ceylon slid into the shallow end so I thought I might........impress her by climbing the high board

As i looked down at her she started to take ..........................................

As i looked down at her she started to take ........... her contact lenses out having already thrown her tiny bikini onto the paving.

I then accidently burped and farted simultaneously and this caused me to lose my balance. I ended up..................

I then accidently burped and farted simultaneously and this caused me to lose my balance. I ended up.........a half pike with full twist

As i entered the pool my shorts came off and i swam like a fish over to Ceylon . " That was amazing" she said " Can you ..........................................

As i entered the pool my shorts came off and i swam like a fish over to Ceylon . " That was amazing" she said " Can you .......................................... do that again. You are amazing!"

That was all I needed. I herded her into the spa area and soon.....................

That was all I needed. I herded her into the spa area and soon............we were both hot under the collar

It was then i realised we were trapped in the sauna , and the heat was rising like ............................................................

It was then i realised we were trapped in the sauna , and the heat was rising like.............dough spread between the legs of hot Indonesian women. Which was apt given our present situation.

I pee'ed on the fire bricks to cool ourselves down, but......................

I pee'ed on the fire bricks to cool ourselves down, but..............then the smell made me start to baulk

Ceylon smiled at me with a look that said ...............................................

Ceylon smiled at me with a look that said ..............................................."you've got snot hanging out of your nose". A quick wipe with the hand confirmed that she was right and so I..................

A quick wipe with the hand confirmed that she was right and so I.....stuck my head under the water to wash it all away .

I was then that i saw that Ceylon had a very large ..........................................

I was then that i saw that Ceylon had a very large ..........................................mother. "Phwooaarrr!.." I exclaimed, "...you're a big unit int ya?" "Young man..." she said........................

"Phwooaarrr!.." I exclaimed, "...you're a big unit int ya?" "Young man..." she said............." Have ever had a mother and daughter sandwich ?"

I nearly drowned with the shock , but then thinking about it i ...............................

I nearly drowned with the shock , but then thinking about it i ...............................I remembered the time my mum & sister had forgotten about my birthday and made up for it in the cheapest way possible.
The only problem was......................................

The only problem was.....................we were in Tesco at the time

There we were the three of us in the freezer aisle legs and arms everywhere , with mum screaming " ........................................

.....................we were in Tesco at the time

There we were the three of us in the freezer aisle legs and arms everywhere , with mum screaming " ........................................Don't get the Club card all sticky again!" She was really getting on our nerves so Dad.....................

Don't get the Club card all sticky again!" She was really getting on our nerves so Dad.........stopped videoing on his mobile

And came over to stick something in her ......................................

And came over to stick something in her lady garden.

So I said...................

So I said............." Oy Dad No !!!"

"This is my birthday treat , now get out of the way while i .....................................

now get out of the way while i .....................................

teabag your wh0re of a wife. "You watch your mouth, boy!" he exclaimed before.................

teabag your wh0re of a wife. "You watch your mouth, boy!" he exclaimed before...........i sort you out first "

It was then that the store manager and the security turned up . " What do you think you .........................................................

It was then that the store manager and the security turned up . " What do you think you .................... like most about our yoghurt specials this week?"

"Yoghurt? I'll give you yoghurt" said Mum as she.................................

"Yoghurt? I'll give you yoghurt" said Mum as she................................
gripped her bacon-flaps and squeezed a two-foot curler onto my sister's chest. "Actually..." said Dad to the store manager, "...do you sell.........

"Actually..." said Dad to the store manager, "...do you sell......... Hungarian style lard?"

"Ummm... yes we do. It makes your schnitzels taste better I find... " ///
"I don't care about bloody schnitzels!" and with that Dad ripped open a packet then...........................................

"I don't care about bloody schnitzels!" and with that Dad ripped open a packet then.................dropped his trousers, took off his shoes and went for a ham shandy in the poultry aisle.

Judy, the shelf stacker was nearby, and when she saw what was going on, she...............

Judy, the shelf stacker was nearby, and when she saw what was going on, she.......stripped naked

Running over to us all she started screaming "............................................

Running over to us all she started screaming " 英語豚! または私はあなたの陰茎を冷凍庫に入れて停止します。 "

At that point................

At that point............i asked for a time out .

Going over to the book aisle i found a book on ...................................

Going over to the book aisle i found a book on ...................................
英語豚! または私はあなたの陰茎を冷凍庫に入れて停止します. "What a weird coincidence" I said and.................................................

"What a weird coincidence" I said and...................................bought it straight away .

It was such a good read i totally forgot about the sex party going on in the aisle until ............................................

It was such a good read i totally forgot about the sex party going on in the aisle until ........................... I noticed a young boy throwing a tantrum near the biscuit section.

"It's seems as though he wants some.." I casually mentioned to the mother but I must say I wasn't ready for her response: ".........................................

"It's seems as though he wants some.." I casually mentioned to the mother but I must say I wasn't ready for her response: ".......................................well f..king buy him some then !" she screamed

The boy looked at me and said " ............................................

The boy looked at me and said "Thats not my mum mister, honest, she's nothing to do with me" and scampered off to hide in the tomatoes, prob because of his scabby acne.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.......

Meanwhile, back at the ranch.....Jose was branding cattle

The smell of burnt beef filled the air , so much so that ......................................

The smell of burnt beef filled the air , so much so that .............. the flies were stuck to the meat.

The big muster had been a partial success. I say partial; because although few stock had been lost, there........................................................

The big muster had been a partial success. I say partial; because although few stock had been lost, there.............were some that only had 3 legs now

It was the strangest looking herd i had ever seen , but ...........................

It was the strangest looking herd I had ever seen , but Nancy Frewmaster had entered the corral and was gesticulating all over the camp fire. The coffee began to smell of......................

The coffee began to smell of.............a strong fish

The smell brought a flock of sea eagles swooping down on us , one even ......................................

The smell brought a flock of sea eagles swooping down on us , one even ...................... landed on my head.

"Stand still" said Jonno the farm hand as he levelled his 303 at it, hands........

"Stand still" said Jonno the farm hand as he levelled his 303 at it, hands.....shaking

"NO !!!!!" I shouted , but it was to late he .............................................

"NO !!!!!" I shouted , but it was to late he .............................. squeezed the trigger.

I simultaneously ducked but the bullet just grazed my right ear and left a mark...........................................................................

I simultaneously ducked but the bullet just grazed my right ear and left a mark...............as big as a golf ball

"Are you OK ? " i think he asked , but i couldn't hear anything as my ears were ..........................................

"Are you OK ? " i think he asked , but i couldn't hear anything as my ears were ...................... having trouble hearing the question clearly.

"Are you completely mad, Jonno?" I shouted. "What did you..........................

"Are you completely mad, Jonno?" I shouted. "What did you think you are doing !!"

"That could of hit me ! " . Johno just gave me that sly smile of his and then ..................

Johno just gave me that sly smile of his and then ..................corrected my English, "that could have hit me!" he explained, "you stupid.............................