Complete the sentence

First topic message reminder :

This is a game where you complete the sentence of the previous post and start off a new sentence for the next poster to complete.

Its not to make a story, just a load of random sentences.

To start you off:

The fridge door wouldnt open so I............

Johno just gave me that sly smile of his and then ..................corrected my English, "that could have hit me!" he explained, "you stupid.....Northern Oaf !"

I was left in tears by his .........................

I was left in tears by his ........... grammatical correction but I thought I'd better keep it to myself considering I had made a mess of the floor.

By now the blood was ...............................................................................

By now the blood was flowing to my privates

Giving me a ..............................................................

n army of messy soldiers.

Still, I brushed them down

Still, I brushed them down and got on with the job in hand

What happened next sent shock waves through the .......................................

cab of the truck delivering hair products.

Whoever put those

Whoever put those in there didn't know the first thing about health and safety

The driver was now covered in a sweet sticky mess , but ......................

The driver was now covered in a sweet sticky mess , but .......... his hair never looked better.

As the truck veered around the corner.............................

As the truck veered around the corner narrowly missing a old lady

Slamming on the brakes the driver .....................

Slamming on the brakes the driver .............. struggled to keep the truck on the road.

It jack-knifed, scraped some boulders beside the road, hit a flimsy barrier, then veered towards..........................

It jack-knifed, scraped some boulders beside the road, hit a flimsy barrier, then veered towards..............a primary school

Seeing this happening the headmistress quickly ..........................................

Seeing this happening the headmistress quickly .......................... dived into a hedge leaving the kids exposed.

The only option left for the driver was to..............................

The only option left for the driver was to..........try and overturn the vehicle

As the handbrake started to take hold the ........................................

As the handbrake started to take hold the ......................... truck went up on 2 wheels and narrowly missed the headmistress taking cover in the hedge.

It then continued.........................

It then continued roll along on the two wheels .

Until it reached ...................

Until it reached ................... Harry Redknapp's letterbox, which was quite an impressive structure.

It just so happened Harry was walking the dogs along his driveway at the time and he was....................................

It just so happened Harry was walking the dogs along his driveway at the time and he was...........just returning home

" Can i help you ?" Harry asked as he .......................

" Can i help you ?" Harry asked as he ........... grew slightly redder on the cheeks. "What's your game, mate?"

I could see he was simmering underneath - about to let fly with a barrage of abuse. It was at that point when he said: ".............................................

I could see he was simmering underneath - about to let fly with a barrage of abuse. It was at that point when he said: " I'm a big fan "

"Could you sign your book for me ? " , Harry looked me up and down and said "........

"Could you sign your book for me ? " , Harry looked me up and down and said ".......you've recovered well from that accident on stage. Did they ever catch that cameraman or has he fled the country?"

"Unfortunately, he did get away" I said "but don't worry, the authorities.................

"Unfortunately, he did get away" I said "but don't worry, the authorities.....are on his trail "

" Thats were your wrong !" said Harry " I am that ..........................

" Thats were your wrong !" said Harry " I am that ..........................man.

Now he was really confused. He felt like................................

Now he was really confused. He felt like......a young Ian Botham all perm and tache

It was then that his head exploded and and I ran for my life before .....................

It was then that his head exploded and and I ran for my life before .......... I suffered any abuse.

It had been a trying day. Not only because of the near disaster with the bus and Harry's outburst beside his letterbox but also.........................................

It had been a trying day. Not only because of the near disaster with the bus and Harry's outburst beside his letterbox but also......because my period had started

Was that unusual for .............................

Was that unusual for ........................ a post-op shemale like me?

The doctors had warned me that this could happen but I .............................

The doctors had warned me that this could happen but I .......didn't want to believe it

I decided to take matters into my own hands and .................

I decided to take matters into my own hands and ........... throw one of my better hissy fits.

The unfortunate 'victim' was the local postman who happened....................

The unfortunate 'victim' was the local postman who happened......to be delivering at the time .

" Right you stupid little ........................

" Right you stupid little .................. git. Why have you bent my mail?"

Before he had a chance to answer, I......................................

Before he had a chance to answer, I noticed the post code on the envelope .

It was from Jose as he was the only person i knew from ............

It was from Jose as he was the only person i knew from ......... Burnley.

Back in my caravan I hurriedly.......................................

Back in my caravan I hurriedly............started making pancakes

The batter was coming along nicely when ....................

The batter was coming along nicely when ................... a stork arrived at my door.

This one was carrying a telegram which read: "..................................

This one was carrying a telegram which read: " Dear Sir you are invited to the palace for afternoon tea "

I quickly showered and changed and ordered a horse and carriage to take me to the palace , on the way i .........................

I quickly showered and changed and ordered a horse and carriage to take me to the palace , on the way i ............... asked the driver to pull up outside the tavern.

At the bar I noticed that the barmaid had..................................

At the bar I noticed that the barmaid had..no teeth

As she smiled her ...............

As she smiled her ............... stale cigarette breath nearly floored me.

"What'll it be luv?" she asked. It was at that point.....................

"What'll it be luv?" she asked. It was at that point the coachman ran in screaming

" Quick there's a headless horseman coming this way and he ...........................

" Quick there's a headless horseman coming this way and he ........ looks as though he is lost."

As he approached, I gathered a large rock and threw it at the horse. It reared up... throwing the headless rider to the ground. As I went over to have a closer look - he.....................

As he approached, I gathered a large rock and threw it at the horse. It reared up... throwing the headless rider to the ground. As I went over to have a closer look - he popped his head out from under his cloak !

" What you doing ? It was only supposed to be a joke ! " he shouted , So i ..................

" What you doing ? It was only supposed to be a joke ! " he shouted , So i ................. laughed heartily after apologising for my violent behaviour with the rock.

"I thought I'd dress up to surprise my wife... who works at the tavern. Come on, I'll introduce you to her and we can........................

"I thought I'd dress up to surprise my wife... who works at the tavern. Come on, I'll introduce you to her and we can have a drink ."

Well would you believe it , his wife was only ........................

Well would you believe it , his wife was only ....................... 27 but I swear she looked closer to 47!

As we sat at a table in the corner I could see her.................

As we sat at a table in the corner I could see her nipples

They were huge and ..................

They were huge and .................. erect.

Then something caught my eye - a third one. It was just................