Complete the sentence

First topic message reminder :

This is a game where you complete the sentence of the previous post and start off a new sentence for the next poster to complete.

Its not to make a story, just a load of random sentences.

To start you off:

The fridge door wouldnt open so I............

But the second, well ................. that was something else.

They formed a long line and then passed.......

They formed a long line and then passed......a live chicken around

It brought a whole new meaning to being plucked .........................

It brought a whole new meaning to being plucked ............ featherless

Weirder stunts were to come involving.................

Weirder stunts were to come involving........lobsters and Lions

It was such a shame when one of the dancers got them mixed up and ..............

It was such a shame when one of the dancers got them mixed up and .......... threw a lobster through the hoop and let the lion molest her with it's raspy tongue.

Next were a pair of...............................

Next were a pair of......................sloths

Sloths are a very ..................

Sloths are a very ............ tactile creatures.

Their act involved climbing up a rope and then.......

Their act involved climbing up a rope and then.......pooing onto a plate

But unfortunatley the sloth wasn't a good shot so ....................

But unfortunatley the sloth wasn't a good shot so ................ some of it landed in my lap.

So I had to go and wash it off. In the unisex washroom I was surprised...............

So I had to go and wash it off. In the unisex washroom I was surprised.........to see a woman standing up and peeing

But on closer inspection i saw it was Jose !!.................

But on closer inspection i saw it was Jose !!......... and his hair looked squeaky clean.

"Fancy seeing you here, amigo...!" to which he turned around revealing.......

"Fancy seeing you here, amigo...!" to which he turned around revealing.......Female bits

" I have had the operation " he/she said ............. my jaw dropped .............

" I have had the operation " he/she said ............. my jaw dropped to the floor.

"It kind of suits you" I said, "especially the way you've..................

"It kind of suits you" I said, "especially the way you've.........styled your downstairs runway

I was starting to get aroused when ...............

I was starting to get aroused when ........ Mum walked in looking excited.

"Come on... you've got to watch the show, they've just.................

"Come on... you've got to watch the show, they've just..........started .

"By the way do you know my new lover Jose " said Mum ..............

"By the way do you know my new lover Jose " said Mum ......... with a cheeky smile.

I was flabbergasted but thought it's better someone I know. The 3 of us then....

I was flabbergasted but thought it's better someone I know. The 3 of us then....went to watch the show .

" You know that girl 3rd from the left " said Jose " She really ..............

" You know that girl 3rd from the left " said Jose " She really ....... is a man.

I found that hard to believe because her cameltoe seemed.............

I found that hard to believe because her cameltoe seemed.............to reach right up to her t1ts.

I turned angrily to Jose & said......

I turned angrily to Jose & said......" that's my ex wife !!"

Jose looked awkward but then flipped and punched ..............

Jose looked awkward but then flipped and punched ...... me in the mouth.

"...and that's my brother Felipe! How come you............

"...and that's my brother Felipe! How come you........were married ?"

It was a long and painful talk that followed as i ..............................

It was a long and painful talk that followed as i .............. explained my drunken behaviour leading up to our quick wedding in Reno.

"If only you had told me all this earlier I wouldn't.......

"If only you had told me all this earlier I wouldn't.....hit you or slept with your mother !" said Jose

" I suppose in a way we are family " i said . So we decided to all go out as a foursome but that was when ......................................

" I suppose in a way we are family " i said . So we decided to all go out as a foursome but that was when ....... we had all got full medical checks by a doctor specialising in sexual diseases in families.

Once we had the all clear, Jose was quick to.......................

Once we had the all clear, Jose was quick to...........say goodbye .

Leaving me and my ex to ...........................................

Leaving me and my ex to ......................... parts ways finally.

Relaxing back at the hotel I was......

Relaxing back at the hotel I was.....woken by a knock at the door .

Dressing quickly i .....................

Dressing quickly i ................... got my machinegun and slowly opened the door.

I was shocked to see ................

I was shocked to see ..............a dwarf standing there

" I have a message for you , just come with me " he said , so with that i followed him ..............

" I have a message for you , just come with me " he said , so with that i followed him ......... along the corridor, down the lift and across the hotel lobby to a limo waiting outside.

"I suppose you're.........................

"I suppose you're........wondering what this is all about ?" said the mystery man in the limo .

" Well i run a secret organization and we want to recruit you ................

" Well i run a secret organization and we want to recruit you ......... as our 'house' cleaner.

"In addition to keeping the pool clean you'll be expected to.....................

"In addition to keeping the pool clean you'll be expected to.....shine everyones shoes "

I had heard enough so pulled out the machine gun and .............

I had heard enough so pulled out the machine gun and ........ motioned them to get out of the limo and hand me the keys.

As I put my foot down and wheeled the limo away, I stuck the machine gun out the window and......................

As I put my foot down and wheeled the limo away, I stuck the machine gun out the window and........Shot the head honcho

With that they all bowed down , i was now the MAN .....................

With that they all bowed down , i was now the MAN ............ to be reckoned with.

My first order to the group was simple. They were to.............

My first order to the group was simple. They were to.........strip naked and hold up the bank

As they stormed in .....................

As they stormed in .................. they were caught on camera getting laughed at by both bank staff and customers.

That was the distraction I needed so I..............

That was the distraction I needed so I..........nipped into the vault

Once inside i targeted the ...................

Once inside i targeted the .............. bundles of unmarked notes.

Grabbing a nearby sack I stuffed it full only to realise.................

Grabbing a nearby sack I stuffed it full only to realise............i needed an escape plan .

So i took out my mobile and ....................

So i took out my mobile and .......... asked Mum to bring the van over.

A few minutes later I heard a screech out the front and saw...........

A few minutes later I heard a screech out the front and saw...........Mum with the Cops .

" Sorry Love " she shouted " But i had to turn you in " . The shocked hit me but soon i .....................

" Sorry Love " she shouted " But i had to turn you in " . The shocked hit me but soon i ........... could see what her plan was.

At the Police station I was ushered into a small white room where.............

At the Police station I was ushered into a small white room where.......at a large table sat .

A very small man ........................

A very small man ..................came into the room with a large file. (sorry, he was already sitting down wasn't he? )

"Well, you've been busy haven't you?" he said giving me......................

"Well, you've been busy haven't you?" he said giving me.........a wink

" Can you leave us alone please ?" he said to the other officer . Then .........

" Can you leave us alone please ?" he said to the other officer . Then ......... he opened up one of the cardboard boxes that were on the table beside him.

"Do any of these belong to you?" he said as he took out an old dog-eared Ribald mag and..........