Lancaster Loses Plot

by GloriousEmpire Mon Oct 14, 2013 11:28 pm

First topic message reminder :

Stuart Lancaster. Care-taker coach. Largely seen as a stable if unspectacular stop gap whilst England courted an international coach of class who wouldn't shudder at the prospect. Possibly Jake White, Eddie Jones or Wayne Smith?

But with a surprise victory over an off-colour All Blacks he found himself in the position of a little known band hitting the #1 spot with a surprise novelty song. Like the DJ Psy of the rugby world, the Gangnam Style England galloped to an unlikely success over NZ and now Stuart Lancaster finds himself in the unfortunate spot of having to concoct that difficult second album.

He came close to a 6N triumph, but ultimately his backing singers revealed their innate lack of harmonic dexterity and were well out of key as they were thumped by a passionate Wales and brought back to Earth with a resounding thud that still echoes today from the wide stellar orbit that their accidental trajectory had propelled them to.

Lancaster needs to look to the very values that made him the right man in the right place all those months ago. His grounded, back to basics approach and rigorous attention to disciplining the out of control England set up. Frankly this astral nonsense that he has allowed himself to be carried away with: flying half way around the world for a rugby lesson from teams with vastly more proficient resources to call upon, visiting NZ to "absorb the culture of success" and interrogating Brian Lochore for insight into the AB mindset is an absurd exercise in unchecked self delusion of Woodwardian proportion.

Someone at RFU HQ needs to pull the guy aside and put a flea in his ear: He didn't base his "revolution" in English rugby on whimsy and wishing on a falling star, he did it by grounding a flailing outfit who's collective personality had become so over-blown that it had obscured its own judgement.

""I want to do more work with the players on the culture and identity of England, to talk about it with them and see it grow".

Leave it out Stu. Just get the scrum ready for the new engagement rules, the defense aligned and prepare the back line with some set piece moves.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:23 pm

ebop wrote:Basically we're just British with better tans and without the funny accent. The ABs 'winning' culture dates back to 1905 so SL may struggle to fabricate something similar.

You know, shrimps on the barbie are actually prawns? But it's hard to get the Oz accent right on prawn.

prawns in scotland are langoustines! Try that with a funny accent

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:24 pm

Apologies GE (I know this isn't showing the necessary respect for your thread) but ebop you've got me thinking. Do you have a Geordie type city in NZ? Obviously naturally tanned though...

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:43 pm

Did the scots steal French culture or something? What a state of affairs indeed. Stubs, from what I know of Newcastle which ain't much as I havnt been there, no, why's that? I know a guy emigrated from Newcastle that I played football with and he's a very funny guy, pasty white though to his credit.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:47 pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=e-nC6r4dTBQ

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:50 pm

ebop - was just wondering if the NZ cities had their own strong identities really. Glad to hear that your Geordie mate isn't orange by the way!

On the prawn topic I think they're called Langoustines there as they don't eat them themselves and sell 'em all to France. Scampi in England...

I think in Ireland they're called Dublin Bay prawns - I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong!

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 9:59 pm

scots call langoustines prawns

scots call prawns shrimp

english call small prawns shrimp

english call prawns 'prawns'

norwegians call langoustines norwegian lobster,

americans call shrimp scampi

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:00 pm

yes you are right some irish call langoustines dublin bay prawns

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:02 pm

however what we all really know as scampi(the breadcrumbed stuff) is actually rarely loungustine.. Scampi is a term that has no legal identity.. So when you buy prepared breaded scampi you could actually be getting anything

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:03 pm

What are crawfish?

Should we start a seafood thread??

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:05 pm

i thought the whole point of GE's threads was to go on any tangent you wish?

crawfish are fresh water lobsters

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:05 pm

mystiroakey wrote:however what we all really know as scampi(the breadcrumbed stuff) is actually rarely loungustine.. Scampi is a term that has no legal identity.. So when you buy prepared breaded scampi you could actually be getting anything

I'm talking proper 1970s scampi served in a basket...

Now it's most likely horse.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:07 pm

aye horse mixed with crab stick(which of course legally has to be called seafood stick- as it was never made out of crab!!)

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:08 pm

mystiroakey wrote:i thought the whole point of GE's threads was to go on any tangent you wish?

crawfish are fresh water lobsters

Like big crayfish?

And in SA don't they have salt water crayfish?

Glad GE is relaxed about all of this.

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:09 pm

mystiroakey wrote:aye horse mixed with crab stick(which of course legally has to be called seafood stick- as it was never made out of crab!!)

Fish and sugar...

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:12 pm

americans call crayfish crawfish

they are one and the same as is the term freshwater lobster.

however many are caught very young, and they dont get as big at max size..

I have a marine reef lobster that doesn't grow very big- he sometimes nips at my puffer fish though

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:14 pm

however in SANZAR (yes just sa aus and nz this time) they call marine spiny lobster crayfish or just cray for short

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:16 pm

What I find strange, is that crab are shellfish. I thought shellfish were bivalves but apparently this isn't so. And crawfish are yabbis in Oz and koura in NZ.

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:19 pm

Small but feisty. Fair play.

(Mysti's reef lobster)

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:23 pm

Yes the yabbies!!

Bivalves are just aquatic shell mollusks

'shellfish' seems to incorporate them and crustaceans

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:25 pm

stub wrote:Small but feisty. Fair play.

(Mysti's reef lobster)

yeah he is fiesty.. I hardly see him though- but great cleaners for marine tanks!!

by tigerleghorn Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:27 pm

It's not so long ago when fake Scampi (British breaded) was produced using what was then cheap Monkfish.

Now of course Monkfish (the tail) is an expensive cut of fish

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:27 pm

Bivalves - 2 shells/sections.

Gastropods - like snails etc.

Shellfish - anything with an exoskeleton that tastes good with garlic butter?

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:29 pm

Yes that's right mystri, Mollusca and Crustacea being two distinct phyla. Boy those in the food industry coining terms that are scientifically inappropriate have a lot to answer for.

by stub Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:29 pm

tigerleghorn wrote:It's not so long ago when fake Scampi (British breaded) was produced using what was then cheap Monkfish.

Now of course Monkfish (the tail) is an expensive cut of fish

That's right! I think I was confusing langoustine with monkfish - both now expensive but couldn't give it away in the 70s 80s.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:30 pm

Oysters used to be a staple of the poor in london. they grew then in the thousands along the thames

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:34 pm

Now there's just beer bottles and the odd archeological find huh. Come to think of it, oysters being filter feeders would save sucked up all that raw effluent that discharged directly to the Thames, they must have had guts of steal.

by Taylorman Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:40 pm

gregortree wrote:
Taylorman wrote:I actually thought the op was about an old world war two bomber losing its captain...
No Taylor, the newangled directional radar gadget accidentally fell out of the bomb door. .. please keep up.

sorry...just though 'plot' was a typo missing the 'i'... Run

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:41 pm

the thames is putrid

by tigerleghorn Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:46 pm

mystiroakey wrote:the thames is putrid

Actually I'm sure I read not so long ago that the Thames now supports Salmon caught and tagged in the City area. Certainly it supports numerous fish species and is now a clean river.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:52 pm

thats good!

by tigerleghorn Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:56 pm

mystiroakey wrote:thats good!

It certainly is pilgrim Lancaster Loses Plot - Page 6 1347041234

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 10:56 pm

I've read you guys in England are doing some good things with cleaning up and restoring urban rivers. And like tiger said, species that are sensitive to pollution are returning. Very cool.

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:01 pm

Yeah I heard about the river wandle in my home town is being cleaned up. Volunteers go down and help a few times a month

by tigerleghorn Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:10 pm

Anyway, back on topic

I've caught a few signal Crayfish in our local stream. These are aggressive American interlopers who have driven our native species to near extinction...bloody good scoff mind!

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:12 pm

I have green parrots outside my house. There are 1000's of them in the area.. They have totalled moved the native species to other areas. And they are nosey buggers.. But cute.

by tigerleghorn Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:17 pm

mystiroakey wrote:I have green parrots outside my house. There are 1000's of them in the area.. They have totalled moved the native species to other areas. And they are nosey buggers.. But cute.

Do they sit on the window sills and watch you? Lancaster Loses Plot - Page 6 1347041234

by mystiroakey Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:25 pm

No dude, squirrels do it though- the american greys that have almost completely wiped out the reds.

Anyway I really want to try King Crab!!

It looks really nice!

by Guest Thu Oct 17, 2013 11:56 pm

tigerleghorn wrote:Anyway, back on topic

I've caught a few signal Crayfish in our local stream. These are aggressive American interlopers who have driven our native species to near extinction...bloody good scoff mind!

Our species suck at invading other countries, all we have is a tiny stream snail and rugby players/coaches that drive your native species out. You probably have the snail and it's a real pest for you. But you guys have some annoying species that have invaded NZ, I tell ya, gorse is a blight on our native landscape.

by GloriousEmpire Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:33 am

mystiroakey wrote:Yeah I heard about the river wandle in my home town is being cleaned up. Volunteers go down and help a few times a month

The wandle of Wimbledon?

by nganboy Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:53 am

None of those species invaded NZ. Our crazy Brit ancestors (not mine of course) deliberately brought all that stuff over. Gorse, rabbits, stoats, weasels, possums etc. Mind you good thing they brought sheep and cows over too.

Anyway I think we have been relatively independent of Britain to start developing our own culture. My bro if fully involved in the Auckland events festivals there and the ones that are getting more and more popular are Maatariki, Lantern Festival, Ramadan, Festival of Light and Polyfest. This is really highlighting the changing demographic of NZ (though Brits are still the largest migrant group - due to us wanting more people that can speak English). While these festivals are not native to NZ they reflect our diversity and I think we will end up with something good and interesting.

I think also that something few people who have not lived here don't understand. While we love rugby most of us don't play it or go to games often. Also most of us live in cities (pint sized mind you but that's in comparison to the last place I lived in which had 10 mill) and are not farmers but lots of us like to spend time outside.

The school that my kids go to is primarily white with the next biggest group being Chinese. But the white kids are often of mixed descent - that is one white Kiwi parent (probably) British ancestry and then one French, Belgian, American, Hungarian, Thai and Fijian etc parent. Also most of the Kiwi parents have lived overseas for a while before coming back.

The number one participation sport in the school is probably hockey/soccer then netball and then rugby. The worst kid in my sons rugby team is Chinese (my son sadly) and probably the best is the Thai guy.

by mystiroakey Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:39 am

GloriousEmpire wrote:
mystiroakey wrote:Yeah I heard about the river wandle in my home town is being cleaned up. Volunteers go down and help a few times a month
The wandle of Wimbledon?

I have never heard it called that- but yes it does go through wimbledon.

by mystiroakey Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:40 am

"Our crazy Brit ancestors (not mine of course) deliberately brought all that stuff over"

mine did it!!

I have books detailing what they did when they immigrated to NZ..

by tigerleghorn Fri Oct 18, 2013 7:52 am

nganboy wrote:None of those species invaded NZ. Our crazy Brit ancestors (not mine of course) deliberately brought all that stuff over. Gorse, rabbits, stoats, weasels, possums etc. Mind you good thing they brought sheep and cows over too.

Anyway I think we have been relatively independent of Britain to start developing our own culture. My bro if fully involved in the Auckland events festivals there and the ones that are getting more and more popular are Maatariki, Lantern Festival, Ramadan, Festival of Light and Polyfest. This is really highlighting the changing demographic of NZ (though Brits are still the largest migrant group - due to us wanting more people that can speak English). While these festivals are not native to NZ they reflect our diversity and I think we will end up with something good and interesting.

I think also that something few people who have not lived here don't understand. While we love rugby most of us don't play it or go to games often. Also most of us live in cities (pint sized mind you but that's in comparison to the last place I lived in which had 10 mill) and are not farmers but lots of us like to spend time outside.

The school that my kids go to is primarily white with the next biggest group being Chinese. But the white kids are often of mixed descent - that is one white Kiwi parent (probably) British ancestry and then one French, Belgian, American, Hungarian, Thai and Fijian etc parent. Also most of the Kiwi parents have lived overseas for a while before coming back.

The number one participation sport in the school is probably hockey/soccer then netball and then rugby. The worst kid in my sons rugby team is Chinese (my son sadly) and probably the best is the Thai guy.

Don't think you can blame us for the Possums tbh pilgrim.

In my home town of Leicester we now have the largest Diwali celebrations outside of India! Cracking Curries and lots of colour at a dismal time of the year.

by tigerleghorn Fri Oct 18, 2013 7:55 am

mystiroakey wrote:
GloriousEmpire wrote:
mystiroakey wrote:Yeah I heard about the river wandle in my home town is being cleaned up. Volunteers go down and help a few times a month
The wandle of Wimbledon?
I have never heard it called that- but yes it does go through wimbledon.

I think he's experimenting with humour..."Underground overground Wombling free, the WANDLE of Wimbledon Common are we"

by mystiroakey Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:10 am

Yes i initially thought that. I mean why would he ever actually take an interest ?

However it is in wimbledon and the joke is so bad, So.....

by Cyril Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:14 am

After the opening message this thread actually turned pretty good!

by tigerleghorn Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:28 am

Cyril wrote:After the opening message this thread actually turned pretty good!

We put a lot of work in to this last night. Where were you? chin

by Cyril Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:05 am

tigerleghorn wrote:
Cyril wrote:After the opening message this thread actually turned pretty good!
We put a lot of work in to this last night. Where were you?

I was having a breather. Sometimes it's like the walls are closing in on you on here Shocked

by GloriousEmpire Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:31 pm

mystiroakey wrote:
GloriousEmpire wrote:
mystiroakey wrote:Yeah I heard about the river wandle in my home town is being cleaned up. Volunteers go down and help a few times a month
The wandle of Wimbledon?
I have never heard it called that- but yes it does go through wimbledon.

I used to live in Wimbledon. Down the hill, near the wandle. It's a nice place. However much they've cleaned it up I still think those guys who go fishing in it down by the big sainsburys complex near Merton abbey would be crazy to actually eat the fish.

There's a decent pub for rugby watching in the little park between Wimbledon South and colliers wood. They have a bunch of barbecues in the garden that's usually filled with South Africans and Aussies and the odd kiwi.

by quinsforever Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:33 pm

Cyril wrote:
tigerleghorn wrote:
Cyril wrote:After the opening message this thread actually turned pretty good!
We put a lot of work in to this last night. Where were you?
I was having a breather. Sometimes it's like the walls are closing in on you on here

yeah but thats ok though, cos the walls are padded in here...

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