The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

First topic message reminder :

Once I caught a fish alive.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw Romeo & Juliet at the RSC in Stratford. It was superb although I doubt Tino would have liked it.

I would if there was any gull r*pe going on.

No, they cut the gull r*pe scene in the one I saw.

I got 4 out of 7...had they included a question of avian r*pe I may have got seven (years in prison...yup, that's the extent of my cultural contribution to this forum and society in general)

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:I saw Romeo & Juliet at the RSC in Stratford. It was superb although I doubt Tino would have liked it.

I would if there was any gull r*pe going on.

No, they cut the gull r*pe scene in the one I saw.

Isn't there more gull r*pe in Hamlet than say, The Tempest?

The Tempest?

It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think. Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof. All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her. In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away". But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

A bit of of gull-on-gull action, eh?

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

A bit of of gull-on-gull action, eh?

Brilliant. There's the Jules we know and love.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

How f*cking closely were you watching these bloody seagulls. Even Bill Oddie would be shuffling his feet nervously hearing this sort of revelation.

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

How f*cking closely were you watching these bloody seagulls. Even Bill Oddie would be shuffling his feet nervously hearing this sort of revelation.

There's no such thing as a 'seagull'. They were probably common gulls but could well have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember.

They were close. We were round the side in a little booth thingy. The roof was only about 2 metres away. I couldn't really see if he had a little gull stiffy but he didn't look he ever got the necessary purchase to actually slip it in. I may well be wrong, David, but I can only give my eye witness account of what I believe took place.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

How f*cking closely were you watching these bloody seagulls. Even Bill Oddie would be shuffling his feet nervously hearing this sort of revelation.

There's no such thing as a 'seagull'.  They were probably common gulls but could well have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember.

They were close.  We were round the side in a little booth thingy.  The roof was only about 2 metres away.  I couldn't really see if he had a little gull stiffy but he didn't look he ever got the necessary purchase to actually slip it in.  I may well be wrong, David, but I can only give my eye witness account of what I believe took place.

I know there's no such thing as a seagull however, don't use that as an excuse to try and distance yourself from fact that you enjoy gull cottaging.

"They could have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember was too busy staring at gull genitals and hoping to see sexual congress"

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

How f*cking closely were you watching these bloody seagulls. Even Bill Oddie would be shuffling his feet nervously hearing this sort of revelation.

There's no such thing as a 'seagull'.  They were probably common gulls but could well have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember.

They were close.  We were round the side in a little booth thingy.  The roof was only about 2 metres away.  I couldn't really see if he had a little gull stiffy but he didn't look he ever got the necessary purchase to actually slip it in.  I may well be wrong, David, but I can only give my eye witness account of what I believe took place.

I know there's no such thing as a seagull however, don't use that as an excuse to try and distance yourself from fact that you enjoy gull cottaging.

"They could have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember was too busy staring at gull genitals and hoping to see sexual congress"

So what would you do? You're telling me you wouldn't have stared? I can assure you I wasn't the only person in the audience enthralled by the spectacle.

Knowing you, you'd have jumped on the roof, held the gull down in an homage to Jodie Foster in The Accused whilst the other gull drilled one home. Then you'd have bitten the head off the male gull as he basked in his post coital glow. You f*cking miscreant.

DAVE is a big fan of A FLOCK OF SEAGULLS*

*Even though there's no such thing.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:It was more 'attempted r*pe' I think.  Pretty sure he never actually got penetration.

The female gull kept waddling away but never flew off the roof.  All the while the randy male gull was chasing after her.  In my mind, I was saying "fly away, little gull, fly away".  But she never did.

Although on reflection, it could have been a gay gull pestering a straight one for sex, and that is why the straight one kept resisting.

How f*cking closely were you watching these bloody seagulls. Even Bill Oddie would be shuffling his feet nervously hearing this sort of revelation.

There's no such thing as a 'seagull'.  They were probably common gulls but could well have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember.

They were close.  We were round the side in a little booth thingy.  The roof was only about 2 metres away.  I couldn't really see if he had a little gull stiffy but he didn't look he ever got the necessary purchase to actually slip it in.  I may well be wrong, David, but I can only give my eye witness account of what I believe took place.

I know there's no such thing as a seagull however, don't use that as an excuse to try and distance yourself from fact that you enjoy gull cottaging.

"They could have been black headed gulls, I can't really remember was too busy staring at gull genitals and hoping to see sexual congress"

So what would you do?  You're telling me you wouldn't have stared?  I can assure you I wasn't the only person in the audience enthralled by the spectacle.

Knowing you, you'd have jumped on the roof, held the gull down in an homage to Jodie Foster in The Accused whilst the other gull drilled one home.  Then you'd have bitten the head off the male gull as he basked in his post coital glow.  You f*cking miscreant.

I'd have had the decency to watch the show I'd paid (over the f*cking odds) for instead of gawking at "Ye Olde Feather'd Bestiality Show" but then I'm dead refined and cultured and what not don't you know.

Anyway, it's home time, off to watch Jack and the Neverland Pirates, Doc McStuffins, Sofia the first then read a couple of Mr Men books....before the wife and kids get home.

DAVE667 wrote:

Jack and the Neverland Pirates

*Jake.

2/7
Crushing disappointment.  Got Pink Floyd and Fathers and Sons (saw it last year, had Lydia from The Others in it, she can turn on the waterworks at the drop of a hat).  I started reading Coast of Utopia last year but Galtova reclaimed it due to my slow progress, should have been a warning sign not to take the damn quiz.  "Culture" my arse.

Union Cane wrote:I misunderstood and sent him this :

Spoiler:

A picture of my rowlocks.

Don't know why I bother.

Any other day I'd sympathise with you, Union, but 2/7, it's going to take some time to pick up the pieces.

It was more of a Ponce Quiz really, so the lower your score the better. 

2/7 is perfectly respectable.

Four for me, knew the Pink Floyd, got the Russian author by process of elimination, as I knew who wrote the other two books and got two guesses, one half way educated one pure dumb luck.

Ghorst!

Turgid on here today.

Morning Union, late start for everyone, not even a sign from the antipodes...

rick_dagless wrote:Morning Union, late start for everyone, not even a sign from the antipodes...

I'm here.

We have to have these ridiculous early morning meetings every day to discuss the 'strategy' for the day. It's all bullsh*t. I've got a strategy:- let's stop talking b*llocks and get to our desks. How does that work for you.

Morning all.

Understood Tino... Meetings for meetings sake, some people just gauge achievment on the amount of meetings they have in the diary. G@y

rick_dagless wrote:Understood Tino...  Meetings for meetings sake, some people just gauge achievment on the amount of meetings they have in the diary.  G@y

We have a meeting on a Monday morning with the big brained analysts who tell us what they think is happening in the world. That I can understand. We don't need one every f*cking morning.

I'm sure you have to sit though more than I do though so I'll stop complaining.

I am in London tomorrow. Will be avoiding meeting Tina and Galted, and top hat obviously, but like to think the latter goes without say.

Working from home as I do, I have conference calls rather than meetings - they give me time to catch up on my p0rn Russian novels.
Mostly they involve me making suggestions near the start, everyone else waffling on for an hour, then someone else making the same suggestions and everyone agreeing to it.

Morning all! Just checking in so you don't think I am an alias of sean and that I drank myself to death over the weekend.

I once did a contract negotiation by conference call from a hotel bedroom in Leeds.

It was fantastic as I was able to watch Pointless with subtitles and the lawyers on the other side took my long silences (brought on by me thinking about pointless answers) to be a form of steely resolve. They folded on practically everything.

Rowley wrote:I am in London tomorrow. Will be avoiding meeting Tina and Galted, and top hat obviously, but like to think the latter goes without say.

Why would you want to avoid Galted and I? We cover the whole spectrum of humanity.

I would be a friendly, if grating, northern voice for you. Galted would take you on a tour of local burrito and wrap establishments.

I don't think you should be so quick to dismiss the opportunity.

Jeff Rowley, Doris Day, Julius, Johnnie Ray
South Pacific, Shahenshah, Joe DiMaggio

Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Mind the Windows, television
North Korea, South Korea, Pubic Triangle

Loaded Dog, One Bomb, Union Cane with Galted's Mom
Brando, Superfly and "The Catcher in the Rye"

Rick Dagless, vaccine, England's got a new queen
Dave667, Liberace, Santayana goodbye.

We didn't start the.......


Morning all.

[quote="Mind the windows Tino."
Why would you want to avoid Galted and I?   [/quote]

I would obviously dearly love to meet you both, particularly you Tina, but Culture Cup rules prohibit me, and what is this life without rules?

Made a proper michaels of that one.

Excellent first post michaels...

And Tino, you know the ramifications on cup members meeting (probably)

The World At War was a particularly excellent episode last night. The D Day landings. Obviously don't want to know the ending, but I suspect we may be able to turn this one round and get the win in the end.

Watched Little Prince Big Fight again last night, same result as before though unfortunately.

Union Cane wrote:Watched Little Prince Big Fight again last night, same result as before though unfortunately.

"Big Figure. Small world."

Bloomberg TV right now. There is a feature on "The Future of M*n Bags".

On f*cking Bloomberg. A serious news station. Michael Johnson is there endorsing them.

Am I asleep? This has to be some sort of demented nightmare.

The market value for m*n-bags has apparently doubled over the last decade according to Bloomberg.

There is something called the Michael Johnson 'Performance Bag.

For the sake of f*ck.

And it's f*cking horrible.

Even by M*n-Bag standards.

1 in 5 'luxury hand bags' are M*n-Bags according to Bloomberg.

They actually describe them as handbags. That's what M*n-Bags are. Female bags for camp men.

I went to a desolate place on Saturday. Stroud. Ended up being taken to a pub where there was live music. Holy mother of god. Basically a pub from 1997 with the only difference being the ageing of the clientelle. 40+ folk dressed like indie boppers, dancing like Bez, smoking rollies and drinking cheap ale / cider. Jeff would have loved it.

Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

Union Cane wrote:Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

His M*n-Bag is awful. It's just a massive holdall and he's given it a fancy name to sell it. "Performance Bag"? F*ck off, Johnson. He may have a manly voice but he is still camp.

At work. Do you think I sit watching Bloomberg when I'm at home? Jesus Christ, Union. Give me some credit.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:The market value for m*n-bags has apparently doubled over the last decade according to Bloomberg.

I do tend to be ahead of the curve fashion wise.

Rowley wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:The market value for m*n-bags has apparently doubled over the last decade according to Bloomberg.

I do tend to be ahead of the curve fashion wise.

And you're camp.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

His M*n-Bag is awful. It's just a massive holdall and he's given it a fancy name to sell it.  "Performance Bag"?  F*ck off, Johnson.  He may have a manly voice but he is still camp.

At work.  Do you think I sit watching Bloomberg when I'm at home?  Jesus Christ, Union.  Give me some credit.

That's the problem with you city spivs - always trying to get something on credit. It's people like you that caused the financial crisis.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

His M*n-Bag is awful. It's just a massive holdall and he's given it a fancy name to sell it.  "Performance Bag"?  F*ck off, Johnson.  He may have a manly voice but he is still camp.

At work.  Do you think I sit watching Bloomberg when I'm at home?  Jesus Christ, Union.  Give me some credit.

That's the problem with you city spivs - always trying to get something on credit. It's people like you that caused the financial crisis.

Very good, Jules. Very good indeed.

Don't call me a spiv though. That hurts.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

His M*n-Bag is awful. It's just a massive holdall and he's given it a fancy name to sell it.  "Performance Bag"?  F*ck off, Johnson.  He may have a manly voice but he is still camp.

At work.  Do you think I sit watching Bloomberg when I'm at home?  Jesus Christ, Union.  Give me some credit.

That's the problem with you city spivs - always trying to get something on credit. It's people like you that caused the financial crisis.

Very good, Jules.  Very good indeed.

Don't call me a spiv though.  That hurts.

Fair enough.
Spiv (noun) - a man, typically a flashy dresser, who makes a living by disreputable dealings.

There's no way the middle part describes you.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:Johnson ain't camp, he has the manliest voice in the world.

Do you have the TV on at work or are you at home? I can't keep up...

His M*n-Bag is awful. It's just a massive holdall and he's given it a fancy name to sell it.  "Performance Bag"?  F*ck off, Johnson.  He may have a manly voice but he is still camp.

At work.  Do you think I sit watching Bloomberg when I'm at home?  Jesus Christ, Union.  Give me some credit.

That's the problem with you city spivs - always trying to get something on credit. It's people like you that caused the financial crisis.

Very good, Jules.  Very good indeed.

Don't call me a spiv though.  That hurts.

Fair enough.
Spiv (noun) - a man, typically a flasher, who makes a living by disreputable dealings.

There's no way the middle part describes you.

It does now!!!!!!!!!