The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

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Jeff's Manbag

Rowley wrote:She is called Victoria Coren and the show is called Only Connect. You have been told both of these things on more than one occasion.

Onset of dementia, through sexual transmission.

School Reunion

Rowley wrote:She is called Victoria Coren and the show is called Only Connect. You have been told both of these things on more than one occasion.

I knew she was Coren, just not her first name. She is good at poker apparently. I'd poker.

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:She is called Victoria Coren and the show is called Only Connect. You have been told both of these things on more than one occasion.

Onset of dementia, through sexual transmission.

School Reunion

Meeting up with some old school mates tonight actually.

seanmichaels wrote:Morning. Struggling today, not a particularly bad hangover, more wear and tear. Drinks with some ex-colleagues, 3 of which are a good 8+ / 10. I have to go out tonight as well....

Talking of TV, how did Mitchell get that bird with the massive bangers who does the quiz after / before University challenge? I would suckle on them.

He probably wooed her with lines such as 'I like your massive bangers'.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

seanmichaels wrote:
Talking of TV, how did Mitchell get that bird with the massive bangers who does the quiz after / before University challenge? I would suckle on them.

He probably wooed her with lines such as 'I like your massive bangers'.

They are obscenely big. I am put off her by her brother though. Eats with his mouth open. Mitchell is a whiny c**t as well. Zander would be a good laugh though, me and him could be pals.

seanmichaels wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

Rowley wrote:She is called Victoria Coren and the show is called Only Connect. You have been told both of these things on more than one occasion.

Onset of dementia, through sexual transmission.

School Reunion

Meeting up with some old school mates tonight actually.

A school reunion is a burnin' thing,
And it makes a fiery ring
Bound by wild desire
Sean has a ring of fire.

Sean fell into a burnin' ring of fire
He went down, down, down
And his blood pressure went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns,
Sean’s ring of fire, Sean’s ring of fire.

Sean has a burnin' ring of fire
He went down, down, down
And his blood pressure went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns,
Sean’s ring of fire, Sean’s ring of fire.

The taste of spunk is sweet
When Sean and his old school chums meet.
Sean dresses up like a child
Oh, but his old prefect went wild.

Sean fell into a burnin' ring of fire
He went down, down, down
And his blood pressure went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns,
Sean’s ring of fire, Sean’s ring of fire.

Sean fell into a burnin' ring of fire
He went down, down, down,
And his blood pressure went higher,
And it burns, burns, burns,
Sean’s ring of fire, Sean’s ring of fire.

And it burns, burns, burns,
Sean’s ring of fire, Sean’s ring of fire.

Thought Sean would have preferred Cash's version of "Hurt"

I hurt my bum today
When I let someone have a feel
I focused on the pain
But let out an involuntary squeal

The p*enis tore a hole
The old familiar sting
Tried to kiss it all away
But couldn't reach the damn thing

What have I become
The Sodomite's friend
Everyone I know
Has a raw and bleeding bell end

And you could have it all
With a thrust and a squirt
I will then go down
I can promise it won't hurt

FFS Dave!

Easy bummer
He'll put a bone in you believe it
Like no other
Before you know it you'll be on your knees
He's an easy bummer
He'll tear your hole but you won't feel it
He's like no other
And I'm just trying to make you see

Silent fright
Sean's old school dorm.. in the night
Head prefect comes
Sean's ring... too tight
No round yon Virgins
But Richard Branson just might
Hold Sean intimately
Tender arse wiped
Scream in helpless relief-ief
No-one can hear your meek screams.

Morning.

Other half has knackered the car, so i'm trying to do my Xmas food shop strategically. It's not going well, the local Tesco is out of Loose Parsnips.

Michaelsed that.

Alistair wrote:Morning.

Other half has knackered the car, so i'm trying to do my Xmas food shop strategically. It's not going well, the local Tesco is out of Loose Parsnips.

The Tesco, Alistair.  It would have to be "the local the Tesco" to fit in with CC rules.

That's the only reason the thread was Michaelsed.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:Morning.

Other half has knackered the car, so i'm trying to do my Xmas food shop strategically. It's not going well, the local Tesco is out of Loose Parsnips.

The Tesco, Alistair.  It would have to be "the local the Tesco" to fit in with CC rules.

That's the only reason the thread was Michaelsed.

That, and the capital 'L' and 'P'. Unless they are really important loose parsnips.

It's a learning curve here, I appreciate your feedback and I will take it on board.

No loose parsnips in The Tesco...well that's Christmas f*cked isn't it?

May as well go on a Hungerford style rampage now, Al...

Do you need any help?*

*With the rampage, not the shopping, I couldn't give a f*ck about that

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:Morning.

Other half has knackered the car, so i'm trying to do my Xmas food shop strategically. It's not going well, the local Tesco is out of Loose Parsnips.

The Tesco, Alistair.  It would have to be "the local the Tesco" to fit in with CC rules.

That's the only reason the thread was Michaelsed.

That, and the capital 'L' and 'P'. Unless they are really important loose parsnips.

I think if the tv programme 'Loose Women' (Jeff's favourite show, by the way) is allowed to bill itself with capital L's and W's, then Al can get away with Loose Parsnips.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Alistair wrote:Morning.

Other half has knackered the car, so i'm trying to do my Xmas food shop strategically. It's not going well, the local Tesco is out of Loose Parsnips.

The Tesco, Alistair.  It would have to be "the local the Tesco" to fit in with CC rules.

That's the only reason the thread was Michaelsed.

That, and the capital 'L' and 'P'. Unless they are really important loose parsnips.

I think if the tv programme 'Loose Women' (Jeff's favourite show, by the way) is allowed to bill itself with capital L's and W's, then Al can get away with Loose Parsnips.

He wishes he could get away with some, but the Tesco are all out.

Loose Parsnips, the original working title for "Loose "Women" The thought process behind it obviously being 'where the fr!g did they dig up these mindless vegetables?' or 'wouldn't you just love to chop them up and stick them in an oven?'

It's because they are doing 39p bags of veg; but the Parsnips are pathetically thin; basically, sean's c*ck only longer.

I'd put my Loose Parsnip in Denise Welch.

Thin parsnips are better. Crispy ends.

Are you still talking about your Richard?

Is a Dolphin Ziggler a bit like a Horse Whisperer?

I think rIck must have been Paul off of Lost Boys.

Just noticed the nod to Chris Farley in the Film section, Matt Foley is one of my favourite characters.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Is a Dolphin Ziggler a bit like a Horse Whisperer?

One gets you a film made, the other gets you banned from Sea World

They're really smart, they can consent

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Unions Christmas meal

Starter – Dry digestive biscuit
Main -  Microwave chicken korma meal for one (from the Asda)
Dessert – A 40,000 piece jigsaw of Grimsby train station

I have a wife and various children.

That jigsaw would be great though, I do love a good jigsaw.

When you say 'various', does that mean some are yours, some are not? Did you just find them? Kidnap them? Do they work for you?

Union Cane wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Unions Christmas meal

Starter – Dry digestive biscuit
Main -  Microwave chicken korma meal for one (from the Asda)
Dessert – A 40,000 piece jigsaw of Grimsby train station

I have a wife and various children.

That jigsaw would be great though, I do love a good jigsaw.

I know you do, but you'll never shift the image, Union.

Merry Christmas to you and TIMC.

Alistair wrote:When you say 'various', does that mean some are yours, some are not? Did you just find them? Kidnap them? Do they work for you?

I have two that are and one that isn't but is, along with plans for another at some point. Not getting any younger though so need to crack on with that.

Thanks Tino, and Festive Greetings to all of Da Cup Crew.

Union Cane wrote:

Alistair wrote:When you say 'various', does that mean some are yours, some are not? Did you just find them? Kidnap them? Do they work for you?

I have two that are and one that isn't but is, along with plans for another at some point. Not getting any younger though so need to crack on with that.

Thanks Tino, and Festive Greetings to all of Da Cup Crew.

Reverse lineal?

[quote="Union Cane"]

Alistair wrote:Not getting any younger though so need to crack on with that.

I'm happy to step in if you're struggling?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

Alistair wrote:Not getting any younger though so need to crack on with that.

I'm happy to step in if you're struggling?

Michaelsed the quote function.

superflyweight wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Union Cane wrote:

Alistair wrote:Not getting any younger though so need to crack on with that.

I'm happy to step in if you're struggling?

Michaelsed the quote function.  

F*cked it up completely. I'm going to leave it. See if it confuses Alistair.

He's too busy confusing cocks for parsnips.

superflyweight wrote:He's too busy confusing cocks for parsnips.

I like to marinade my parsnips in honey and mustard before roasting them.

Which, incidentally, is what I also do to my c*ck.

Who are Honey and Mustard - guys from the Rugby club?

superflyweight wrote:Who are Honey and Mustard - guys from the Rugby club?

l*l

At least start with Sean.

Honey has a glazed expression, but Mustard is keen.

I think I'd marinade my c0ck in ginger, lime and coriander. If it became the rage that is.

Jeff would marinade his c0ck in brine.

superflyweight wrote:I like cocks & parsnips.

Who said what?

seanmichaels wrote:I think I'd marinade my c0ck in ginger, lime and coriander. If it became the rage that is.

The forgotten Spice Girls.

seanmichaels wrote:I already marinade my c0ck in ginger, lime and coriander. I hope to spend Xmas telling women it's all the rage in the vain hope they'll give me the time of day.

They will, Sean...it'll be "F*ck off o'clock"

Potty mouth

seanmichaels wrote:Potty mouth

Smooth talker