The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

Mawkish on here today.

TLD wrote:Mawkish on here today.

I know, I long for the days when this used to be better than everything ever...

Our cultural juices seems to have been sapped. We'll spurt back though I'm sure.

Made a big mistake having a nap early this evening... was so knackered.

Now I'm up at 01:33 I feel like going on a spider hunt. Creepy sounds outside and a positively balmy 22.8° C with 82% humidity.

You still awake TLD

For you excelers out there.

If any of the cells in D2 to D14 = lisa then add the value from the corresponding cell in the B column (meaning if D12 = lisa then add the value in B12) to this cell. So if D12, D13,D14 = lisa I would like the sum of B12,B13,B14.

How do I put that in function form?

ShahenshahG wrote:For you excelers out there.

If any of the cells in D2 to D14 = lisa then add the value from the corresponding cell in the B column (meaning if D12 = lisa then add the value in B12) to this cell. So if D12, D13,D14 = lisa I would like the sum of B12,B13,B14.

How do I put that in function form?

You running a brothel, Shah?

Galted wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:For you excelers out there.

If any of the cells in D2 to D14 = lisa then add the value from the corresponding cell in the B column (meaning if D12 = lisa then add the value in B12) to this cell. So if D12, D13,D14 = lisa I would like the sum of B12,B13,B14.

How do I put that in function form?

You running a brothel, Shah?

No just brushing up on excel and other skills. Daughter starts school in September and won't see her at all if I keep these hours.

ShahenshahG wrote:For you excelers out there.

If any of the cells in D2 to D14 = lisa then add the value from the corresponding cell in the B column (meaning if D12 = lisa then add the value in B12) to this cell. So if D12, D13,D14 = lisa I would like the sum of B12,B13,B14.

How do I put that in function form?

I'm not sure what you're looking for because you've used Add and Sum of so there are two possible things I think you may be looking for:

If you want "lisa" plus another cell added together in one cell I think you need this:

=IF(D2="lisa",(D2&" "&B2),"")

However this only works for "lisa" being in a D2 etc.  You would need to change the formula to another value to add for "sally" etc.
Note: I've added " "& in the formula to provide a space between what was contained in the cells.  For example: "lisa" and "shah" would show as "lisa shah" and not "lisashah"

If you want to add all the spending money you've allowed "lisa" it sounds like you need a SUMIF calculation.  

Note: You'll need a consolidated list of what's in column D to do this first.  A simple pivot table can do this for you, let me know if you need help in doing that.  I'm assuming you put the consolidated list underneath the other rows of data starting the list in cell A16.  

The SUMIF calculation will add find "lisa" (A16) in a particular range (D2 to D14) and then sum all the values in another range (B2 to b14).  The $ fixes the ranges to those specific cells so your formula ranges will not move the further down the page you go

The formula for this is: SUMIF($D$2:$D$14,A16,$B$2:$B$14)

So if "lisa" is listed three times in the D range and the B range shows you've given her a fiver each time the sum will be 15.  Just the once then it will show 5.


Let me know if this works for you or, if you need help with the pivot table or, I've completely lost you.

Will run it by one of my colleagues if I remember tomorrow. He's a genius when it comes to anything to do with Office.

Or just do what 1GrumpyGolfer from Pennsylvania says to do.

Never mind - Used Sumif instead of if and got it working.

Well f*ck you shah and your inept question posing.  That's the last time I'll answer an Excel question for you bomberboy.   Not even a f*cking thank you; I'm asking Tino to send his boy or Serial round to f*ck you up

He did thank me, consider all other questions welcome and the boys called off

Thanks GG - I figured it after looking through I needed the sumif, I kept putting in [b2:b14] which rendered it useless

Prices Discount applied Perfume Buyer
58 =(A2*0.75) Savuage Cat
58 =(A3*0.75) Euphoria Pat
75 =(A4*0.75) Choo Mirella Lisa =SUMIF(D2:D14,"Lisa",B2:B14)
78 =(A5*0.75) Choo Mirella Mirella =SUMIF(D2:D14,"Mirella",B2:B14)
98 =(A6*0.75) Choo Pat Pat =SUMIF(D2:D14,"Pat",B2:B14)
99 =(A7*0.75) gucci Pat Cat =SUMIF(D2:D14,"cat",B2:B14)
86 =(A8*0.75) prada Pat Total Discounted Cost =SUM(H4:H7)
57.99 =(A9*0.75) prada Cat Full Cost =SUM(A2:A14)
57.99 =(A10*0.75) prada Cat
63 =(A11*0.75) Choo Ill Mirella
57.99 =(A12*0.75) Eternity Cat
40.99 =(A13*0.75) Armani Pat
71 =(A14*0.75) YSL Lisa

For the sake of F*ck gg give me a chance - The last message was from galted and he usually kills the thread overnight. Didn't realise you'd posted until I read and replied

ShahenshahG wrote:For the sake of F*ck gg give me a chance - The last message was from galted and he usually kills the thread overnight. Didn't realise you'd posted until I read and replied

Apology accepted and mine proffered, edited the last response

It's alright - it was a new experience for me being on the end of threats rather than sending em out. That's one crossed off the bucket list.

Right everyone, that's this thread done for the day. Lights out and don't let me hear you typing.

And f*cking stay in your bunk, michaels.

Goodnight my friend, Thanks again.

Looking at your sumifs I would have a list (A16-A19) and point the formula to that. That way you can drag copy and have it work and not have to retype parts of the formula

You're right Galted does tend to kill threads overnight. No more typing for me. Night, night mate

I'll try and figure that bit on my own if I can - If I can't i'll bother you tommorow. Ta Ra

Galted wrote:Will run it by one of my colleagues if I remember tomorrow.  He's a genius when it comes to anything to do with Office.

My word, he must excel in it.

Did you ever post the correct answers to your musicals quiz?

10. Les Miserables.

1. What is the longest running musical in the history of Broadway? The Phantom Of The Opera
2. The Antoinette Perry Award for Excellence in Theatre is more commonly known as what? The Tony Award
3. Which Rodgers & Hammerstein musical originally starred Mary Martin as Maria Rainer? The Sound Of Music
4. Another Suitcase in Another Hall and You Must Love Me are songs from which musical? Evita
5. Which musical was based on the short novel Goodbye To Berlin, features the character Sally Bowles and opened on Broadway in 1966? Cabaret
6. What year did Mamma Mia open in the West End (2 marks for exact year, one mark for one year either way)? 1999
7. For one point what is the oldest theatre still in use in London – a) Theatre Royal, Drury Lane b) Theatre Royal, Haymarket or c) The Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. For the second point what century and decade did it first open? a) Theatre Royal, Drury Lane, 1660s .
8. Who wrote the book for the musical We Will Rock You, based on the songs of Queen? Ben Elton
9. The Society of West End Theatre Awards were renamed in 1984 after which actor? Laurence Olivier
10. What is the longest running musical in the history of the West End? Les Miserables

Thanks Jules.

JuliusHMarx wrote:

Galted wrote:Will run it by one of my colleagues if I remember tomorrow.  He's a genius when it comes to anything to do with Office.

My word, he must excel in it.

As witty as ever Julio.

Fist notches.

Energy is the order of the day. Furniture shopping on the weekend, Joy.

Just to give you phuckers a gentle push to the day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcMNzxeArRc

Coxy001 wrote:Me and Tina had a bet where the loser left the forum for a week. Being the man I am I did just that and then got banned by the miserable Yorkshire git.

Or we could get a PayPal account you both deposit in to and winner takes all?

CALL TO ARMS BROTHERS.

Morning Shah

You ok

Sick

Chilled my friend, Chilled. Yourself?

Chilled also mate

What do we need to support Tina on?

Not Tina, He's insulted Rowley. Poor sod is on holiday and coxy took this time to call him a miserable yorkshire git. Truth might be an absolute defense against libel but it is not a defense against CC violence

Fair enough, I shall mobilise the troops...

Morning all.

I was in the motherland yesterday, riCk. Warrington, Runcorn and Chester. Didn't get time to visit the holy land of the Floatel site but it was in my mind at all times. I said hello for you once I passed Stafford (which is not north).

I can see from the response that Jeff is thought of highly

Can I just say that whilst there may have been a discussion re my outburst on the issue of Mumsnet, I'm confident that you all agreed with me. OK I may have used a couple of profane words but they gave my rant the necessary piquancy to really get the point across.

Morning all, what are everyone's plans for Valentine's Day? I did a sex with Mrs Serial a few years ago and she reckons that was enough to last me another couple of decades (apparently she read an article on Mumsnet about it)

I did wonder why you didn't turn up yesterday tino. We feared the worst. But turns out you were just refreshing your faint northern credentials.

ShahenshahG wrote:I did wonder why you didn't turn up yesterday tino. We feared the worst. But turns out you were just refreshing your faint northern credentials.

Just because you're thousands of miles from your homeland, don't tar us all with the same brush.

Nice, I bet the grass was green and the beer was frothy mate, did you see the cloud of V.D. over the View?

I need to go back soon Tino, so I will lay a used syringe at the Floatel site in your honour.

Morning all,

Did someone mention "tar" and "brush" in the same sentence?

Tino, how did you know that was my ex-wife's nickname for me? I tan well apparently.
I am actually glowing ochre at the minute. I put it down to factor 50 sunscreen and my mixed bag of genes... unlike Hugh Jerkman with that thing on his nose.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:I did wonder why you didn't turn up yesterday tino. We feared the worst. But turns out you were just refreshing your faint northern credentials.

Just because you're thousands of miles from your homeland, don't tar us all with the same brush.

Like I said, faint northern credentials. apparently I have to buy a new brush for every use - like a true southerner.

The Loaded Dog wrote:Morning all,

Did someone mention "tar" and "brush" in the same sentence?

Tino, how did you know that was my ex-wife's nickname for me? I tan well apparently.
I am actually glowing ochre at the minute. I put it down to factor 50 sunscreen and my mixed bag of genes... unlike Hugh Jerkman with that thing on his nose.

She was probably a racist or thought you were a Nazi Brownshirt

rick_dagless wrote:Nice, I bet the grass was green and the beer was frothy mate, did you see the cloud of V.D. over the View?

I need to go back soon Tino, so I will lay a used syringe at the Floatel site in your honour.

Strangely enough, The View did actually come up in conversation. As did you (breach of CC rules? I started this f*cking place, I'll make the rules).

I went up for a funeral so loads of the old gang were there. Not Andy Captain Poofinger but a load of other school mates. We talked about some good and bad nights at The View and I said I sort of know another chap on a sports forum that had graced the same dance floor. They accused me of being a gayer because I talk to men online but they are mostly c*nts so I ignored their insults.

It was good to be back though. Albeit briefly.

ShahenshahG wrote:

The Loaded Dog wrote:Morning all,

Did someone mention "tar" and "brush" in the same sentence?

Tino, how did you know that was my ex-wife's nickname for me? I tan well apparently.
I am actually glowing ochre at the minute. I put it down to factor 50 sunscreen and my mixed bag of genes... unlike Hugh Jerkman with that thing on his nose.

She was probably a racist or thought you were a Nazi Brownshirt

No, it was just one of her silly nicknames.
I reckon she had read Tom Sawyer or the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn as a child and made some association with me.
She got on really well with Dad by the way. I'm a bit too young to have worn a brown shirt. I look better in black anyway.

When I first started out in security, I was working with probably the most intimidating man I'd ever seen. Wrestling type build, very tall, heavily muscled, bald, tattooed and bad tempered. Anyway worked with him and he seemed alright if a bit volatile but he ceased to be intimidating when his wife turned up. A brightly dressed and spirited young woman who talked at the top her voice. Anyway, We were sitting outside the office while confidential business was going on and his wife turns up with his lunch. She kisses him on the cheek and calls him "my ickle snugglebutt".


Cue sniggering from inside and outside of the office.

ShahenshahG wrote:bald, tattooed and bad tempered.

Serial?

No. You forgot pot-bellied.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:bald, tattooed and bad tempered.

Serial?

ShahenshahG wrote:Wrestling type build, very tall, heavily muscled,

Definitely not me, Tina.