The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **seanmichaels** Mon 26 Sep 2016, 8:51 am

First topic message reminder :

I am pretty sheet. Got into double figures last week though. All well on the forum?

What do you think windows will do for a career now? Screwfix are hiring down here.

by Guest Mon 17 Oct 2016, 10:28 am

Cheers Rick, radio/music ban in the office as of last week. Supervisor off today and tomorrow and the c*nt who raised it as an issue has his radio on. Have emailed supervisor explaining that his rules are being ignored but that more importantly, I'm now being bullied and will have to think seriously about putting in a grievance. In lieu of doing any work, I'm going to have fun with this instead.

by **ShahenshahG** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 10:39 am

Rick you should come back and tell everyone that Brussels have decided to turn off the Bovril pipeline in revenge for Brexit. Dave you should smash that radio over his head until BBC radio 2 starts transmitting straight to his brain.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 10:41 am

Haha, we have a music ban here, and after much gnashing of teeth, they have allowed earphones attached to personal music devices, which can be even more annoying, as you can hear something, but not an actual tune.

Always good to mess with the HR system, just to see what happens, especially if you are not that bothered about the eventual outcome.

Shah, I think if Bovril went the same way as Marmite, the peasants would be revolting. Though someone, in some corner of the internet, would believe this to be true.

by Guest Mon 17 Oct 2016, 10:52 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Rick you should come back and tell everyone that Brussels have decided to turn off the Bovril pipeline in revenge for Brexit. Dave you should smash that radio over his head until BBC radio 2 starts transmitting straight to his brain.

Have taken the moral high ground, Shah.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 11:54 am

Ham salad sarnie, cup-o-soup (minestrone) 7/10

The sandwiches are always at their best on a Monday.

by Rowley Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:00 pm

Beef Salad sarnie, bag of cheese and onion crisps. A six out of ten under normal circumstances, however bought my Beef from a Farm Shop, different class, elevated it to a solid 7.5/8

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:11 pm

Pink in the middle Beef? I always think that farm shops balance on being hipster, but then, when you do buy food from them, it is worth the effort.

I can also say that I criminally underuse my local butchers, I went there the other day as I won some meat vouchers in the local raffle. The best sausages and bacon chops I have had in ages.

by Guest Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:19 pm

Stopped going to our local farm shop as the Farmer is a f*cking racist. He's been heard telling non-whites to get out and to get back to their own country (brings new meaning to "Get of my laaaaand")

by Rowley Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:19 pm

Very pink Rick. I like Farm Shops, accept some of the stuff is ridiculously over priced, but when buying meat it tends to justify the extra price. Bought a joint for Sunday dinner and it was comfortably the best meat I have ever cooked.

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:24 pm

Jesus, DAVE, where on earth is that?

Lovely stuff Jeff, and I agree, there is one up the road (quite a way up the road) from me, which do full English's it is like a party in my mouth, and when I bring the stuff home, I am skint but happy.

by Rowley Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:27 pm

The one I go to has a café in it, have never eaten there but they queue up to get a table, so assume it is pretty good. The cost hurts though, went in for a joint of beef Saturday, ended up spending £40 +. Dangerous places for a fat bloke with poor impulse control.

by Guest Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:29 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Jesus, DAVE, where on earth is that?

Lovely stuff Jeff, and I agree, there is one up the road (quite a way up the road) from me, which do full English's it is like a party in my mouth, and when I bring the stuff home, I am skint but happy.

If I told you Rick, you'd know where I live, come round and poo on my lawn (sorry, that's Shah) but anyway, it would still involve sailing dangerously close to breaching CC rules and we can't have that

by **rIck_dAgless** Mon 17 Oct 2016, 1:35 pm

Fair enough mate, I understand...

I need to book in the old Christmas hamper from the farm shop soon actually.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:10 am

proper michaelsing...

Morning campers, we all well?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:12 am

Morning Rickotine, all good, just caught up with some stuff and now thoroughly bored. You good?

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:17 am

Not bad, rainy journey into work this morning took ages, but all good now with a brew and an empty office to get some stuff done, and fanny about on chatboards of course.

People already trying to flog tickets for Joshua Klit fight, my spidey sense is tingling however...

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:32 am

I wouldn't go unless the ticket was free, have been getting more and more irritated with Sky lately and attending one of their events would just vex me up more. Especially with Bellew - Haye on the horizon. I have taken an online test and have been diagnosed with ADHD. Hmmm.

http://www.addadult.com/getting-help/for-you/online-screening-test/

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:37 am

Apparently 5th March has been provisionally booked for the Haye Bellew fight, so a pay per view on it's own which is not good but inevitable.

I got diagnosed with that when I was very young. Though on the internet self diagnosis could mean you have everything from the common cold to AIDS.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:45 am

Did they give you drugs? I have to see the doctor about champix and a general health check anyway, will have a word. I suspect she will tell me to stop smoking and eat less to get within my BMI, and I will pull off her wig, pull her shirt out to release the melons and perform a cuppers arrest on Dave for violating CC rules.

by Rowley Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:46 am

It's my birthday 5th March. CC trip and to hell with the rules. I'd say we could stay at Tina's but he is on the dole now. He will be sleeping on a park bench by March.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:50 am

It's Tino, his son will probably take pity on him and lend him (at an exorbitantly high interest rate) all the money he stole from Tino's bank account over the years. A Loan Scolopendra Gigantea, if you will

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 7:56 am

Nope they sent me to school a year early to spend some energy and I had a very patient school teacher.

If Tino still has a home, I am sure he will not mind us all just rocking up and demanding shelter for the evening. I'm up for it.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:00 am

When someone loses their job, they often stick to the same habits, like getting up and getting ready for work then taking the train to work. We could wait at Royston to pick up his trail.

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:12 am

Good morning all. All is well in my neighbourhood.
I have checked online and I have a cold and AIDS.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:19 am

Morning Jules, I believe the Americans have a cure for your particular combination of malaise. It's called koolaid.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:19 am

Good AIDS or bad AIDS Jules?

Though I am sure you will shrug it off.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:24 am

Probably hearing aids Rick.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:29 am

Well played Shah...

by **JuliusHMarx** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:31 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Probably hearing aids Rick.

Pardon?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 8:36 am

JuliusHMarx wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Probably hearing aids Rick.

Pardon?

Granted.

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 9:03 am

Might be in for a windfall, have been underpaid for ages I think. Am going through a years worth of payslip and already in 4 figures. have got 4 years worth to go.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 9:09 am

Sweet,

Jeff, your birthday is on Shah, and we can stay Tino's so it is a free weekend for you!

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 9:14 am

rick_dagless wrote:Sweet,

Jeff, your birthday is on Shah, and we can stay Tino's so it is a free weekend for you!

Just to be clear, I will be paying for your birthday. I don't want you getting all excited Jeff.

by Guest Tue 18 Oct 2016, 11:05 am

Morning all, whilst delighted at the thought of seeing Mrs Windows I'm just concerned that the locals will be perturbed by Shah's insistence on paying for everything with Chemical Weapons

by Tattie Scones RRN Tue 18 Oct 2016, 11:58 am

Having read through some of these threads, I have to say that they are both refreshing and educational.

I have learned so much.

by nadeem2099 Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:04 pm

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Having read through some of these threads, I have to say that they are both refreshing and educational.

I have learned so much.

So who's the biggest c*nt iyo after your extensive research?

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:06 pm

nadeem2099 wrote:
Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Having read through some of these threads, I have to say that they are both refreshing and educational.

I have learned so much.
So who's the biggest c*nt iyo after your extensive research?

Will Ferrell, or Hugh Jackman, depending on who is about.

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:07 pm

Some parts of Tasmania are so fertile that the topsoil is 70 feet deep.

Barf is Persian for ‘snow’.

If we could harness 0.02% of the solar energy that hits the Earth, it'd be enough to power the entire human race

1 in 10 Icelanders will publish a book at some time in their life.

Three-quarters of Britons have a drawer at home full of miscellaneous junk.

In Inuktitut, iminngernaveersaartunngortussaavunga means ‘I should try not to become an alcoholic’.

In 1998, a swarm of jellyfish in New Zealand killed 56,000 salmon in half an hour.

The Burmese sneezing monkey sneezes uncontrollably whenever it rains.

The Sami people of northern Finland use a measure called Poronkusema: the distance a reindeer can walk before needing to urinate.

St Brigid of Ireland, the 6th-century abbess of Kildare, was noted for the miracle of transforming her used bathwater into beer for visiting clerics.

And finally

Quotes of the day come from politicians across the globe both good and bad.

Death is the solution to all problems. No man – no problem. – Joseph Stalin

“Reports that say something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, February 12th, 2002

I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few. – Adolf Hitler

“Outside of the killings, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Former mayor of Washington, D.C. Marion Barry, March 24th, 1989, National Press Club speech

I am the punishment of God… If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. – Genghis Khan

“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzard

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. – Napoleon Bonaparte

A lie told often enough becomes the truth. – Vladimir Lenin

I don’t care if they respect me so long as they fear me. – Caligula

by Guest Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:19 pm

rick_dagless wrote:Some parts of Tasmania are so fertile that the topsoil is 70 feet deep.

Barf is Persian for ‘snow’.

If we could harness 0.02% of the solar energy that hits the Earth, it'd be enough to power the entire human race

1 in 10 Icelanders will publish a book at some time in their life.

Three-quarters of Britons have a drawer at home full of miscellaneous junk.

In Inuktitut, iminngernaveersaartunngortussaavunga means ‘I should try not to become an alcoholic’.

In 1998, a swarm of jellyfish in New Zealand killed 56,000 salmon in half an hour.

The Burmese sneezing monkey sneezes uncontrollably whenever it rains.

The Sami people of northern Finland use a measure called Poronkusema: the distance a reindeer can walk before needing to urinate.

St Brigid of Ireland, the 6th-century abbess of Kildare, was noted for the miracle of transforming her used bathwater into beer for visiting clerics. A trick since used by every Wetherspoon's in the country

And finally

Quotes of the day come from politicians across the globe both good and bad.

Death is the solution to all problems. No man – no problem. – Joseph Stalin

“Reports that say something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns – the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”
US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, February 12th, 2002

I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few. – Adolf Hitler

“Outside of the killings, DC has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.”
Former mayor of Washington, D.C. Marion Barry, March 24th, 1989, National Press Club speech

I am the punishment of God… If you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. – Genghis Khan

“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” – Lewis Grizzard

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. – Napoleon Bonaparte

A lie told often enough becomes the truth. – Vladimir Lenin

I don’t care if they respect me so long as they fear me. – Caligula

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:24 pm

I was thinking a similar thing DAVE...

by Tattie Scones RRN Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:41 pm

nadeem2099 wrote:
Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Having read through some of these threads, I have to say that they are both refreshing and educational.

I have learned so much.
So who's the biggest c*nt iyo after your extensive research?

I'd say everyone is at the same c*ntish level.

Equality and all that...

by Guest Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:41 pm

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:
nadeem2099 wrote:
Tattie Scones RRN wrote:Having read through some of these threads, I have to say that they are both refreshing and educational.

I have learned so much.
So who's the biggest c*nt iyo after your extensive research?

I'd say everyone is at the same c*ntish level.

Equality and all that...

Cheers...c*nt!

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:42 pm

some great quotes in here

Babe Ruth always kept a cabbage leaf under his hat to keep him cool

Because there is no weather on the Moon, the footprints of the 12 men who walked on it are still there.

Bugs Bunny is not a rabbit but a hare.

Wild Bill Hickok’s brother Lorenzo was nicknamed ‘Tame Bill Hickok’.

An Egyptian cure for insanity was to eat snake meatballs under a full moon.

The B-movie The Blob is based on a real-life police report from 1950.

The world’s largest container ships can carry 746 million bananas.

MOUSE POTATO – someone who spends a lot of time at a computer.

The strongest creatures on Earth are gonorrhoea bacteria. They can pull 100,000 times their own body weight.

More than twice as many people were guillotined by the Nazis as during the French Revolution.

The 1 million inhabitants of the Chinese city of Zhuji make 8 billion pairs of socks a year: 35% of total worldwide sock production.

And finally

Quotes of the day from the world of science

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
― Isaac Asimov

“Never memorize something that you can look up.”
― Albert Einstein

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
― Albert Einstein

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”
― Albert Einstein

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”
― Carl Sagan

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.”
― Stephen Hawking

by Tattie Scones RRN Tue 18 Oct 2016, 12:54 pm

rick_dagless wrote:some great quotes in here

Babe Ruth always kept a cabbage leaf under his hat to keep him cool

Because there is no weather on the Moon, the footprints of the 12 men who walked on it are still there.

Bugs Bunny is not a rabbit but a hare.

Wild Bill Hickok’s brother Lorenzo was nicknamed ‘Tame Bill Hickok’.

An Egyptian cure for insanity was to eat snake meatballs under a full moon.

The B-movie The Blob is based on a real-life police report from 1950.

The world’s largest container ships can carry 746 million bananas.

MOUSE POTATO – someone who spends a lot of time at a computer.

The strongest creatures on Earth are gonorrhoea bacteria. They can pull 100,000 times their own body weight.

More than twice as many people were guillotined by the Nazis as during the French Revolution.

The 1 million inhabitants of the Chinese city of Zhuji make 8 billion pairs of socks a year: 35% of total worldwide sock production.

And finally

Quotes of the day from the world of science

“The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom.”
― Isaac Asimov

“Never memorize something that you can look up.”
― Albert Einstein

“Science without religion is lame, religion without science is blind.”
― Albert Einstein

“If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?”
― Albert Einstein

“Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”
― Carl Sagan

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious. It is the fundamental emotion that stands at the cradle of true art and true science.”
― Albert Einstein, The World As I See It

“Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.”
― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods

“We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special.”
― Stephen Hawking

Surely the studio has been cleaned since then though?

by **rIck_dAgless** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 1:08 pm

Illuminati!

Don't suppose anyone has an N64 they want to sell do they?

by **ShahenshahG** Tue 18 Oct 2016, 1:19 pm

Well seeing as they'd awarded the contract to g4s...

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 6:46 am

Morning Notches

All good in Le hoods?

by **seanmichaels** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 7:25 am

Who nadeem? One ok but two.....

Morning shahreef.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 7:29 am

Morning Sean, don't worry he's not a recruit, hes a happy go lucky f*ckwit. Have you been well?

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 7:50 am

to be fair his application has been in limbo due to Tino not appointing a deputy...

Morning gents

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