The Culture Cup Round x - Adam is a naughty naughty boy

by **seanmichaels** Mon 26 Sep 2016, 8:51 am

First topic message reminder :

I am pretty sheet. Got into double figures last week though. All well on the forum?

What do you think windows will do for a career now? Screwfix are hiring down here.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 7:55 am

Morning Rick the r*pe Artist.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRkVgVmvejM

all good in the woods?

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 8:09 am

My artistry knows no bounds mate all good here, how goes the good fight?

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 8:15 am

Goes on quietly and repetitively. Dull days. What about you? Have you finally managed to explain to them about the licenses.

by **rIck_dAgless** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 8:19 am

I have indeed, it was a long and arduous road but a suitable sh1tstorm has kicked up.

In the North today so even better

by **seanmichaels** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 8:25 am

ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Sean, don't worry he's not a recruit, hes a happy go lucky f*ckwit. Have you been well?

Not bad. Just coming to the realisation that I am pretty fecked when it comes to.finding a bird. Anyone single.at my age must have.aymmat wrong with them.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 8:47 am

seanmichaels wrote:
ShahenshahG wrote:Morning Sean, don't worry he's not a recruit, hes a happy go lucky f*ckwit. Have you been well?

Not bad. Just coming to the realisation that I am pretty fecked when it comes to.finding a bird. Anyone single.at my age must have.aymmat wrong with them.

I don't think it's your age that is the problem Sean.

Leaning to the left nowadays?

by **seanmichaels** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 9:08 am

It is actually true. Unless you take on a divorcee with kids my options limited to someone who been on the shelf for 15-20 years.

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 9:12 am

seanmichaels wrote:It is actually true. Unless you take on a divorcee with kids my options limited to someone who been on the shelf for 15-20 years.

Someone in the reception area called Sean Hampton Laugh

Dress up as a university student and find a gilf or two.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 9:16 am

seanmichaels wrote:It is actually true. Unless you take on a divorcee with kids my options limited to someone who been on the shelf for 15-20 years.

My mate took on a divorcee with a kid - he figured at his age he couldn't limit his options. Now he's going to get married to her. All is not lost sean.

by **Galted** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 10:16 am

seanmichaels wrote:It is actually true. Unless you take on a divorcee with kids my options limited to someone who been on the shelf for 15-20 years.

Join a dating site, some of them are free.

There's loads of childless gash about, lowering their standards because they're afraid of growing old alone.

by **Galted** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 10:19 am

Just be aware that some of them have cats which are likely to claw you in the face at 3 in the morning until you get up and give them some delicious Felix picnic mix.

by **JuliusHMarx** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 11:48 am

Galteded

by Rowley Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:16 pm

Galted wrote:

Join a dating site, some of them are free.

Galtova finally fecked off now she has got Citizenship? Classic.

Not to worry Galted, as it's you and you're still my favourite find yourself another mail order bride and I'll do the application on the house.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:29 pm

Good afternoon.

by Rowley Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:33 pm

Afternoon Tina. CC mk III coming along well?

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:37 pm

Rowley wrote:Afternoon Tina. CC mk III coming along well?

Not really, Jeff. Too busy doing f*ck all.

Just had a very pleasant weekend in Edinburgh with Mrs Windows and no kids. Lovely stuff.

If I wasn't a jaffa, we could well have had number 6 on the way.

by Rowley Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:39 pm

I'm going to Edinburgh next year for our 15th, suspect that will be the next time I do a sex, which is something to look forward to.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:40 pm

Rowley wrote:I'm going to Edinburgh next year for our 15th, suspect that will be the next time I do a sex, which is something to look forward to.

It's a great city. I don't think I met Superfly but one can't be sure.

by Rowley Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:44 pm

Superfly and Adam are up there, dangerous ground. That is why I never visit Bradford, there are hundreds of other reasons as well obviously but it's a factor.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:48 pm

Rowley wrote:Superfly and Adam are up there, dangerous ground. That is why I never visit Bradford, there are hundreds of other reasons as well obviously but it's a factor.

Forgot about Adam. I did meet a fair few bell ends so could well have been him.

by Guest Wed 19 Oct 2016, 12:50 pm

Rowley wrote:Superfly and Adam are up there, dangerous ground. That is why I never visit Bradford, there are hundreds of other reasons as well obviously but it's a factor.

I believe that came second in the competition run by the Bradford Tourist board to find a new slogan...I say Tourist Board, it's a bloke keeping warm in a kiosk.

by **superflyweight** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 1:42 pm

We didn't meet Tina - I was nowhere near Edinburgh at the weekend. The place is full of bell-ends though, even without the presence of Adam and me. Did you persuade Mrs Windows to visit the Pubic Triangle?

by **ShahenshahG** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 1:55 pm

superflyweight wrote:We didn't meet Tina - I was nowhere near Edinburgh at the weekend. The place is full of bell-ends though, even without the presence of Adam and me. Did you persuade Mrs Windows to visit the Pubic Triangle?

He was too busy doing the dishes after his card was declined.

by Mind the windows Tino. Wed 19 Oct 2016, 2:25 pm

superflyweight wrote:We didn't meet Tina - I was nowhere near Edinburgh at the weekend. The place is full of bell-ends though, even without the presence of Adam and me. Did you persuade Mrs Windows to visit the Pubic Triangle?

She wouldn't go. Miserable cow.

Did the castle, museum, Calton hill. All that sort of stuff. Lots of time in pubs on the Royal Mile. The Grassmarket. Bought a fossil of an arthropod from some famous shop on the Grassmarket that cost me £220. An impulse buy. It's 70 million years old. The fossil, not the shop.

We have friends in Craiglockhart so spent some time in a pub up there.

by **superflyweight** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 3:08 pm

It is a remarkably beautiful city when you manage to lift your head up and actually look around. Used to live about a 5/10 minute walk from Calton Hill and not once in 8 years did I bother my arse and actually climb it to have a look around.

by **Galted** Wed 19 Oct 2016, 3:30 pm

Rowley wrote:
Galted wrote:

Join a dating site, some of them are free.

Galtova finally fecked off now she has got Citizenship? Classic.

Not to worry Galted, as it's you and you're still my favourite find yourself another mail order bride and I'll do the application on the house.

Thanks, Jeff. Would like one for her cousin who visited from Russia last week. She is fitter, cooks, does the washing up and can't speak English, pretty much the perfect woman. Galtova joked that I'd married the wrong one then got the hump when I agreed.

by Guest Wed 19 Oct 2016, 3:38 pm

Galted wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Galted wrote:

Join a dating site, some of them are free.

Galtova finally fecked off now she has got Citizenship? Classic.

Not to worry Galted, as it's you and you're still my favourite find yourself another mail order bride and I'll do the application on the house.

Thanks, Jeff. Would like one for her cousin who visited from Russia last week. She is fitter, cooks, does the washing up and can't speak English, pretty much the perfect woman. Galtova joked that I'd married the wrong one then got the hump when I agreed.

Six essential tips for happiness

1/ Find a woman who loves you unconditionally
2/ Find a woman who shares your sense of humour
3/ Find a woman you can take out and have your friends be impressed by her grace and elegance
4/ Find a woman with incredible cooking and housekeeping skills
5/ Find a woman who is sexually uninhibited
6 Ensure that these five women never meet

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 6:53 am

DAVE667 wrote:
Galted wrote:
Rowley wrote:
Galted wrote:

Join a dating site, some of them are free.

Galtova finally fecked off now she has got Citizenship? Classic.

Not to worry Galted, as it's you and you're still my favourite find yourself another mail order bride and I'll do the application on the house.

Thanks, Jeff. Would like one for her cousin who visited from Russia last week. She is fitter, cooks, does the washing up and can't speak English, pretty much the perfect woman. Galtova joked that I'd married the wrong one then got the hump when I agreed.
Six essential tips for happiness

1/ Find a woman who loves you unconditionally
2/ Find a woman who shares your sense of humour
3/ Find a woman you can take out and have your friends be impressed by her grace and elegance
4/ Find a woman with incredible cooking and housekeeping skills
5/ Find a woman who is sexually uninhibited
6 Ensure that these five women never meet me

Yeah Dave, That's why you're bald:roll:

Morning Notches

by Rowley Thu 20 Oct 2016, 7:35 am

Morning Shah. How are you this morning?

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 7:47 am

Knackered but well. How about you Jazzy Jeff? TSMR unable to keep her hands off of your genitals?

by Rowley Thu 20 Oct 2016, 7:50 am

She seems to manage well enough. I'm well mate.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:03 am

Then she's got a heart of stone and the sex drive of a dead trout. Give her a slap Rowley and hump her like you were a prefect and she was Sean. Has the massive increase in applications ~~abated~~continued at work or have things settled down finally?

by Guest Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:22 am

Once again, in the space of a half breath, Shah's posting goes from advocating marital r*pe to asking folk how the job's going. F*cking lardy drug addled frigtard.

Morning all.

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:23 am

Morning Serial Baldy, How are you today?

by Guest Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:36 am

I'm in early so I get to leave early, however the cons cancel out the pros. Bit like being told that doctors are going to name a disease after you but you won't live long enough to see them discover a cure

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:44 am

Well they named a channel after you and you won't even live long enough to outlive this week's mock the week repeat so you should be used to it by now.

by Guest Thu 20 Oct 2016, 8:53 am

It's true, it's a bitter pill to swallow (like the ones you get from the gym for "energy"

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 9:02 am

~~Touche~~Toupee

by Guest Thu 20 Oct 2016, 9:16 am

Toupee or not toupee, that is the question
Whether tis easier on the noggin so suffer the sleet and hail and outrageous weather
Or take shelter beneath a mop of synthetic hair
And by posing, look like a b3llend

Aye, there's the rug!

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 3:17 pm

Davebombed like a royal bitch.

by Guest Thu 20 Oct 2016, 4:01 pm

Bloody brilliant Shakespeare skit as well, ~~ignormausese~~ ~~ignirumus~~ c*nts!

Off home for a sulk!

by **superflyweight** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 4:43 pm

DAVE667 wrote:Bloody brilliant Shakespeare skit as well, ~~ignormausese~~ ~~ignirumus~~ c*nts!

Off home for ~~a sulk~~ an angry w*nk!

by **ShahenshahG** Thu 20 Oct 2016, 4:58 pm

superflyweight wrote:
DAVE667 wrote:Bloody brilliant Shakespeare skit as well, ~~ignormausese~~ ~~ignirumus~~ c*nts!

Off home for ~~a sulk~~ an angry w*nk!

Followed by a bout of frantic headbutting of Mrs Daves fanny in the hopes some of her hair will fall off and stick to his head.

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 6:37 am

Morning campers all well?

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 6:44 am

Gutentag Notches

Happy Friday.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 6:45 am

Everything is good Rickotine, except for Mrs Dave's fanny which is probably black, blue and bald. How about you?

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 7:11 am

Not too bad mate, I was helping out preparing food for a charity shelter all day yesterday, so much chopping and peeling, my wrist has not felt like this since high school...

But I have + Karma now in case I feel like punching a nun or something

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 7:19 am

rick_dagless wrote:Not too bad mate, I was helping out preparing food for a charity shelter all day yesterday, so much chopping and peeling, my wrist has not felt like this since high school...

But I have + Karma now in case I feel like punching a nun or something

For the sake of god, please do this and shout brexit rules or something similarly inane. I want to change the news, one funny thing at a time.

by **ShahenshahG** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 7:23 am

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/pakistan-honour-killing-man-accused-of-murdering-daughter-spared-jail-after-pardoning-himself-a7367206.html

l*l

by **rIck_dAgless** Fri 21 Oct 2016, 7:23 am

Could be a shout... Trump made me do it.

What you up to at the weekend?

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