It's not 'Send', it's the 'Culture Cup', stupid.

First topic message reminder :

A booze-pilfering drunken feral pig has caused chaos by running amok at an Australian campsite and starting a fight with a cow.

The belligerent porker went on a drunken bender after stealing and drinking three six-packs of beer that had been left out by campers at the DeGrey River campsite in Port Hedland, Australia.

In the predictable series of events that followed the animal went on to ransack rubbish bin bags to find some late-night snacks before starting a fight with an innocent eyewitness cow.

Following the boarish rampage the pig decided to swim out into the middle of a river before collapsing drunk under a tree and falling asleep.

One camper named Merida recounted the tale to the ABC network: "It was in the middle of the night and it was these people camping opposite us and they heard this crunching of the can and they got their torch out and shone it on the pig and there he was scrunching away at their cans."

"Then he went and raided their rubbish that they had sort of covered over with a bin as well.

"And then there was some other people camped right on the river and they saw him running around their vehicle being chased by a cow.

"It was going around and around and then it went into the river and swam across to the middle of the river.

"The people that were camped on the river went across and crept up on it and it was hiding and sleeping under a big log right on the edge of the water."

"It was sort of coming from there for a couple of days but we didn't see it this morning or last night."

1. Norwich
2. King Kong
3. Don't know
4. Herbert Hoover
5. Don't know
6. Potassium
7. Lithuania
8. Tom Hanks & Spencer Tracy
9. Googol
10. Bo Derek or Linda Evans - not sure

Those are the answers. I await the questions.

1-Where is Alan Partridge from
2-Skull Island is the home of which fictional creature
3-Hyrule is the fictional setting of which computer games
4- Who invented the first bagless vacuum cleaner
5 - Which boxer was known as "the ghost with a hammer in his hand"
6 - Which element has the chemical symbol "K"
7 - Vilnius is the capital of which country
8- Who were the first 2 actors to win consecutive best actor Oscars
9 - what word describes this number 1.0 × 10 to the 100
10 - Which actress was married to John Derek from 1968-1974

Good effort Jules

JuliusHMarx wrote:1. Norwich
2. King Kong
3. Don't know
4. Herbert Hoover
5. Don't know
6. Potassium
7. Lithuania
8. Tom Hanks & Spencer Tracy
9. Googol
10. Bo Derek or Linda Evans - not sure

Those are the answers. I await the questions.

1. Where was Sean Born?
2. Name one thing that can fit in his bumhole?
3. Name something that can't fit in his bumhole?
4. Who made the last unsuccessful attempt to close Sean's bumhole?
5. What's bigger, the universe or seans bumhole?
6. What excuse did sean give when he was found putting a plantation up his bum?
7. Which country shares its nickname with Seans only lover to date?
8. Which two celebrities abandoned attempts to circumnavigate sean's Bumhole in their films as they were deemed too unrealistic for hollywood?
9. What did Sean suggest to his peers when they ran out of ways to bum him?
10. Which celebrity would kill themselves rather than be associated with Sean?

ShahenshahG wrote:sean's Bumhole

Standards have been allowed to slip...

Dolphin Ziggler wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:sean's Bumhole

Standards have been allowed to slip...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDByf9-oNcs

Yes, Yes they have

I think thats the last of them, unless...

Hello, so I appear to have finished serving my Luis Suarez-ian suspension...only to be told I've now been banned from using the internet at work due to excessive usage. It's so bad, Professional Standards have got involved!!!

Anyway, glad to see you're all alive and well, I'll pop in periodically and hope to congratulate you on the thread split in July.

Peace, notches!!!!!!!

Wahey, Welcome back Tabloid Dave.

Gutentag Notches

Good morning Shah, how was the weekend? Did you catch the boxing?

DAVE667 wrote:

Peace, notches!!!!!!!

IMPOSTER....this isn't Dave at all!!!!

DAVE667 wrote:Hello, so I appear to have finished serving my Luis Suarez-ian suspension

Oh so you bit someone, never mind lads, false alarm

Hullo mate, was good weekend, we had that sizzlers pizza again, got high and watch nature documentaries from 8pm sat to about 4 am sunday then watched Kovalev get hometowned. Didn't catch the rest of it due to an emergency at work so finished too late on friday. How about you?

I had Ward up by a round, go figure, could have seen it going to Kovalev, but don't think it was a hometown.

I will catch up with Documentaries tomorrow with any luck, assuming that the Trump supporters do not catch up with Sir Dave and they are taken off air for sympathy.

Glad to see DAVE back as well, well almost.

You blind spaz....blah blah blah. Couldn't care less l*l. Was incensed at the end of the fight but it was so meh that I just forgot bout it until now. Cinnamon brew this morning with some dates and nuts. I tell you want - it didn't half fill me up.

rick_dagless wrote:Ward up

Cameo.

Morning Jalapeno Jules all good in the home?

The home is where I roam, Shah.

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Peace, notches!!!!!!!

IMPOSTER....this isn't Dave at all!!!!

DAVE667 wrote:Hello, so I appear to have finished serving my Luis Suarez-ian suspension

Oh so you bit someone, never mind lads, false alarm

What's the record for quickest banning after returning from a ban? (I probably already hold it anyway). Recorded the fight at the weekend.. Recording ended after four and a half rounds. Read the result but don't feel compelled to watch it and see if Kovalev has a genuine gripe. Brought the wrong rucksack to work this morning. Instead of food I have my kids' spare clothes. That happened to Shah once and there were bits of playgroup everywhere. He still considered it to be a result

JuliusHMarx wrote:The home is where I roam, Shah.

The post office?

DAVE667 wrote:

ShahenshahG wrote:

DAVE667 wrote:

Peace, notches!!!!!!!

IMPOSTER....this isn't Dave at all!!!!

DAVE667 wrote:Hello, so I appear to have finished serving my Luis Suarez-ian suspension

Oh so you bit someone, never mind lads, false alarm

What's the record for quickest banning after returning from a ban? (I probably already hold it anyway). Recorded the fight at the weekend.. Recording ended after four and a half rounds. Read the result but don't feel compelled to watch it and see if Kovalev has a genuine gripe. Brought the wrong rucksack to work this morning.  Instead of food I have my kids' spare clothes. That happened to Shah once and there were bits of playgroup everywhere. He still considered it to be a result

It wasn't a playgroup you fat bald northern noncelator it was Jules harem of young octogenarians hence the replacement body parts littering the area after the incident. Meanwhile Blair must have been wondering who was nice enough to bake him a nice blackberry cheesecake.

Chicken soup, Pot Noodle (Beef and Tomato) 6/10.

Nothing yet. 0/10

Marxed at 12:20. You absolute c*nts.

Sorry Jules, the screams of my wives as the electric shock therapy hit lulled me to sleep.

Fist!

Is everything well in everyone's respective dwelling places?

Gutentag notches all is well in this hell. Insanely busy at work today. Massive events going on. How are ye all?

Morning Jules/Shah, all so far so good here, already on wind down.

Though having to deal with secret Santa conversations all day...

I've always heard about this secret santa stuff but never really bothered to find out. What is it? I know it's some sort of gift giving thing and that's all

You're given (or pull out of a hat) the name of a work colleague and you have to get them a small Xmas gift. No-one ever finds out who they get their gift from.
Then in January, you take the sh!tty gift you received to Oxfam to help those less fortunate than yourself.

Pretty much, though someone here had the bright idea of, instead of a limit of £10 gift per person, as there are 11 people, buy a £1 gift for each individual.

This is even more a pain in the arris...

rick_dagless wrote:Pretty much, though someone here had the bright idea of, instead of a limit of £10 gift per person, as there are 11 people, buy a £1 gift for each individual.

This is even more a pain in the arris...

Poundland.

Indeed, I have most of them now.

I was however astounded to see a very busy returns desk.

rick_dagless wrote:Indeed, I have most of them now.

I was however astounded to see a very busy returns desk.

L*l out loud. You live in the north Rick. Dont be Tino and betray your roots by denying that you wished you were among them. . Also Imagine their surprise when Brexit is triggered it turns overnight into 23 pound land. Thanks for the explanation lads sounds like what I've been doing for years so I will claim copyright.

I appreciate the frugality of folk Shah, but returning a 2 for a pound recorder because the note of "E" is slightly out, is taking the Michael, It would cost more in food to gain the calories to actually go...

And the queue was massive!

I had a right numpty who worked for me a few years back who wrote in his secret santa tag:

'To ?
From Gary'

Tattie Scones RRN wrote:I had a right numpty who worked for me a few years back who wrote in his secret santa tag:

'To ?
From Gary'

For the sake of f*ck. Grounds for instant dismissal.

rick_dagless wrote:I appreciate the frugality of folk Shah, but returning a 2 for a pound recorder because the note of "E" is slightly out, is taking the Michael, It would cost more in food to gain the calories to actually go...

And the queue was massive!

Hahaha true that but Rowley lights up a candle in a fireplace so he can put his feet to the fire and read a dictionary. This candle serves him both as a fire and as light. If that doesn't give the pound land queue a run for their money nothing will.

Rowley was devastated when Poundland bought up 99p Stores.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Rowley was devastated when Poundland bought up 99p Stores.

Well you would have been too if you'd arrived at the store with exactly 99p then found you had to cycle home on just a farthing because the prices had gone up.

rick_dagless wrote:Indeed, I have most of them now.

I was however astounded to see a very busy returns desk.

imagine the poor devils at the sperm bank.
"deposit or withdrawal, sir?
Merry Xmas my heaving ball bag.

Oh, full b*llocking rec'd at work for comments made on social networking
I'm one meltdown away from dismissal!!!!

The coppers have never known how to appreciate a good man and even if they did it wouldn't have helped them deal with you Dave. Fight the power!

Morning Notches, pitch black outside, bring on t'summer.

Morning Shah... things have taken a surreal turn when you're my most ardent supporter. I assume this is how radicalisation begins. Still, beggars can't be choosers... except those who rightly refuse to nosh off Galted

Divide and conquer is the way to go, that's why your biggest mistake was having a side parting when you was a teenager. Also, anarchy is my preferred method in whatever form it takes except for the confused ones. Easy breeding ground for recruits and wives and concubines and slaves.

Morning odd couple, how are we both?

Morning Rick. Am on my phone and have rubbish data plan so I'll be off now Have a wonderful people... except Galted!

Top cameo, DAVE, have a good day!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/donald-trump-overtime-pay-president-voters-moment-he-takes-office-1143-barack-obama-regulations-a7432421.html

l*l

Morning Rick.

DAVE667 wrote:Morning Shah... things have taken a surreal turn when you're my most ardent supporter. I assume this is how radicalisation begins. Still,  beggars can't be choosers... except those who rightly refuse to nosh off Galted

Actually, the joke's on you - no beggar's refused to nosh me off.

Be careful what you wish for eh Shah!

Morning Galted

Fact of the day

The longer a whisky is aged, the longer it takes for your body to get rid of the alcohol.

UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon celebrated his election by singing ‘Ban Ki-moon Is Coming to Town’ to the tune of ‘Santa Claus Is Coming to Town’.

The Malaysian word for ‘turkey’ means ‘Dutch chicken’.

Instead of Christmas, the North Koreans celebrate the mother of Kim Jong Il, Kim Jong Suk

In 1367, King Charles V of France explicitly banned the wearing of shoes shaped like Winkle.

When Jeremy Paxman was at Cambridge, he failed to get into his college’s University Challenge team.

In his last week on Earth, Troy Davis, who was executed in Atlanta, Georgia, in 2011, was put on ‘death watch’, to stop him taking his own life.

The average American absorbs 34 gb of information a day, though half of it is obtained from playing, video games.

Humans and elephants are the only animals with chins.

Astronauts’ hearts become rounder in space.

And finally

Quote of the day.

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
Albert Einstein