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First topic message reminder :

<lol>

or for Rick...

Just watched the science officer briefing, and looks like Manchester, Leeds and the NE are not good either, we are not too bad here, so may not get dragged into it, if we do, it is at least a month before it is reviewed.

However, with Diwali coming up and the run into Christmas, the local council may lock down anyway.

Fistula

sicondment

Apologies for my absence but it's been impossible tearing myself away from the tennis boards.

Galted wrote:Apologies for my absence but it's been impossible tearing myself away from the tennis boards.

Yep nothing like it, when the fangirls come out in force.

Morning all.

I am not Donald Trumps Covid-19.

Morning, Tino. I wonder if Donald Trump went on a forum to say 'I'm not Tino' once he was in the clear.

Did all the crane flies fly away before they died or do their leggy carcasses now litter the lawns?

Galted wrote:Morning, Tino.  I wonder if Donald Trump went on a forum to say 'I'm not Tino' once he was in the clear.

I'm actually reading a book about the Don at the moment. Called Fire and Fury. It is basically about his first 100 days in the office.

It is a very well put together and I am enjoying it. To save you reading it, the synopsis is - "Trump is a f*cking moron".

JuliusHMarx wrote:Did all the crane flies fly away before they died or do their leggy carcasses now litter the lawns?

I think most of them flew away. Those that remained are either slowly decomposing or have been eaten by the chickens.

Did have a fascinating experience on Sunday though. Went for a walk at an RSPB place near us. There was an apple tree with loads of fallen, rotting apples. It had attracted a whole load of hornets. I have only ever see a few solitary ones flying around but I would estimate there were at least 25 of them round these apples. They were basically drunk on apple juice though and ridiculously drowsy. I got really close to some of them and took some insanely detailed pictures. Never got that close to one before or seen that many congregated in one place. Genuinely amazing to see as they are so huge. It was exhilarating and frightening at the same time. I nearly got a stiffy.

I would offer to send the pictures, but it wasn't very well received on here last time I asked for all your phone numbers.

I'd like to see the pictures.

Offering photos and phone numbers is just stirring up a hornet's nest.

Galted wrote:I'd like to see the pictures.

Of my near stiffy or of the hornets?

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:I'd like to see the pictures.

Of my near stiffy or of the hornets?

Not fussy.

JuliusHMarx wrote:Wrt to h2h, Djokovic leads over both of them and has held all four slams at the same time, and will soon hold the record for most weeks at number 1.
Rafa's CV lacks an ATP Tour Finals title and as already mentioned, Fed has a losing h2h against both. There is no agreed way to measure the GOAT and when 3 players are that close it is simply unproveable - it is purely at matter of personal preference.

Someone take Jule's phone back off his kids.

LOL WTF

rIck_dAgless wrote:LOL WTF

I know. PMSL.

Remind me of the protocol. Do you get a warning before I ban you?

JuliusHMarx wrote:Remind me of the protocol. Do you get a warning before I ban you?

You can't ban dead people. But I think you can edit their posts.

Did you know on the Chinese movie poster title for Sixth Sense, when translated back was "He's a Ghost!"

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

JuliusHMarx wrote:Remind me of the protocol. Do you get a warning before I ban you?

You can't ban dead people. But I think you can edit their posts.

l*l out loud.

Fist.

mOrnINg riCK.

How are you? I feel we can still talk as brothers from another mother for this year and next. In 2022 I accept that you'll look down on me as Babycham drinking, avocado on toast eating c*nt. I will deserve it but lets enjoy the next 18 months or so.

Morning brethren.

Think I'm developing bursitis... my right elbow has a constant dull ache. As painful as my postings these days.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:mOrnINg riCK.

How are you? I feel we can still talk as brothers from another mother for this year and next. In 2022 I accept that you'll look down on me as Babycham drinking, avocado on toast eating c*nt. I will deserve it but lets enjoy the next 18 months or so.

One day at a time, TiNo.

I'm good cheers, you all prepped for wearing coats and visiting cereal cafes?

Did I miss the post about rick becoming a toff in 2022? Will we all be beneath him?

You can't be a toff in Bradford, Jules, otherwise "The DAVE" comes to visit at midnight.

Geographically speaking you are all below me though (barring supes, obvs)

I'm not Conchata Ferrell, nor was she a c*nt

Absolutely thrilled with my fist.

There ain't no sicond prize.

How's it going Galted? (about to water lawn so will check back in 30 mins)

Tird and loving it.

Good, thanks, PJ. Hope your lawn watering was successful and you didn't succumb to any man-eating hornets, spiders, snakes, monitor lizards etc

Galted wrote:Good, thanks, PJ.  Hope your lawn watering was successful and you didn't succumb to any man-eating hornets, spiders, snakes, monitor lizards etc

All good mate. Gave it an extra soaking after the hot sun today. Cut it tomorrow for the first time. I've given it a biblical 40 days to establish the roots. It's looking very verdant. Think it will be OK if we get the predicted La Niña as predicted.

The idiot next door is banging on his gutters with a long piece of wood to scare the pigeons away. I gave him a container of "Rid"... seems it didn't work.

Morning Jules.

Or any hope-devouring grass.

Pal Joey wrote:
The idiot next door is banging on his gutters with a long piece of wood to scare the pigeons away.

What a plank.

From dust bowl to lush lawn, Jules. A major transformation. The El Niño last summer was horrific.

You are right. He's not all there. Thick as a... plank. He's afraid to take matters into his own hands... like I did in 2018.

Do you still have AK47?

JuliusHMarx wrote:Do you still have AK47?

No gun needed.

Afternoon all.

Just taken my youngest for a test as she started coughing last night and into this morning. Getting the virus would have been less traumatic than asking a 6 year old to let me scrape their tonsils and stick a cotton bud up their nose.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:Afternoon all.

Just taken my youngest for a test as she started coughing last night and into this morning. Getting the virus would have been less traumatic than asking a 6 year old to let me scrape their tonsils and stick a cotton bud up their nose.

I can sympathise.  Had a walk with my 3 year old this afternoon and when I suggested 'this way' (away from the very busy Trafalgar Road) after he'd suggested 'that way' (directly into the very busy Trafalgar Road) he went absolutely batsh*t rolling-on-the-pavement crazy.  Thank f*ck I had a pushchair with us otherwise I'm sure Yewtree would've been on the case.

If he could walk that way, he wouldn't need the talcum powder.

Opportunistic fist.

I am not a former bass player in AC/DC. Not that it Matters.

I nearly wasn't David Attenborough yesterday but it turned out to be a Tw*tter hoax.

Galted wrote:I nearly wasn't David Attenborough yesterday but it turned out to be a Tw*tter hoax.

It's a shame Jules is dead, I was hoping he would like my word play. My timing sucks. It seems that everyone is dead other than you and me, Galts. Sad times.

I will literally (correct usage) cry when DA dies and that is difficult for me as boys born in the north have their tear ducts removed at birth.

I wouldn't be that bothered if I go before him to save the heartache.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

Galted wrote:I nearly wasn't David Attenborough yesterday but it turned out to be a Tw*tter hoax.

It's a shame Jules is dead, I was hoping he would like my word play. My timing sucks. It seems that everyone is dead other than you and me, Galts. Sad times.

I will literally (correct usage) cry when DA dies and that is difficult for me as boys born in the north have their tear ducts removed at birth.

I wouldn't be that bothered if I go before him to save the heartache.

L*l out loud.

It's acceptable for a Man of the North to cry when his whippet   dog   is run over by a steam plough   dies so I'm sure that tears for Attenborough's passing will be respected by the tweed-supping ale-wearing village dwellers.

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

It's a shame Jules is dead, I was hoping he would like my word play. My timing sucks. It seems that everyone is dead other than you and me, Galts. Sad times.

If this was a movie we'd be finding the bodies one after the other: Super first, then Rick, then Julius.  Jeff above them all.  Maybe a skeleton in lycra to remind us of kingraf.  We'd suspect each other more and more as each corpse was uncovered but it would turn out that serialDAVE had snuck back onto the thread and was hiding somewhere with his favourite hammer.

Galted wrote:

Mind the windows Tino. wrote:

It's a shame Jules is dead, I was hoping he would like my word play. My timing sucks. It seems that everyone is dead other than you and me, Galts. Sad times.

If this was a movie we'd be finding the bodies one after the other: Super first, then Rick, then Julius.  Jeff above them all.  Maybe a skeleton in lycra to remind us of kingraf.  We'd suspect each other more and more as each corpse was uncovered but it would turn out that serialDAVE had snuck back onto the thread and was hiding somewhere with his favourite hammer.

Dave hasn't got to Jules, which is a relief. I can't say the same for Super or riCK. I imagine Super, being Scottish, would at least put up a fight before being overcome by the sheer ferocity of Dave and getting shived in the neck by a sharpened tooth brush.

Jules wrote: Hey Tino! Hope you don't mind me PM'ing you. Great word play - so good I almost jizzed. Glad I'm not the only person in complete command of the English language on here. Sorry I can't be with you today, I am being fitted up for some new tighty whitey tennis shorts. Extra long to contain my old chap. Anyway, have a great day and thanks for the hornet pictures. I will reciprocate with the Galtova ones later". Love ya!

Or one of the dead bodies isn't really dead.
I'm sure Tino's word play was excellent but as I'm not an AC/DC fan, I'm not sure who's died or why it doesn't Matter.

JuliusHMarx wrote:
I'm sure Tino's word play was excellent

It really was. Glad you're still alive.